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Myshkin

Goodkind 55: Back in the Dick Life Again

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How does Terry Goodkind keep selling books? The answer is Wizard's First Rule: people are stupid.

Seriously though, people like garbage books. I mean Dan Brown has sold a shitload of books.

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17 hours ago, Myshkin said:

How does Terry Goodkind keep selling books? The answer is Wizard's First Rule: people are stupid.

Seriously though, people like garbage books. I mean Dan Brown has sold a shitload of books.

Truthier words have never been spoken!  I could hear the distinctive ring of the Sword of Truth before that post, as you laid your raptor gaze upon this thread! 

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I was reminded of these threads by the recent controversy, and I've been reading through all of them, though some of them are hard to find. I thank you all for the great enlightenment and amusement contained herein, as I've never read TG and don't intend to. Some things don't need to be experienced. ASoIaF is infinitely better, though the slowness of new releases taxes my soul.

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Fellow lemmings,i bring more glad tidings from Tairyland! He recently released a new novella titled Trouble's Child,which also serves as a prequel to his upcoming mystery/thriller The Girl in the Moon,coming out on the 20th!
 

Behold the awesome blurbs for both!

Quote

Releasing as a short-lengthed teaser to the forthcoming novel The Girl in the Moon, a new novella from #1 New York Times bestselling author Terry Goodkind.

Wandering through the snowy woods in the mountains near her home, Angela Constantine stumbles upon a wolf feeding on the body of a murdered young woman. That discovery is only the start of her problems. Throw a blind evangelist and his mute sister into the mix, and #1 New York Times bestselling author Terry Goodkind has concocted another irresistible cocktail of suspense, a tale where the difference between life and death dances on the edge of a razor-sharp blade.

Trouble’s Child, a brand new novella set in the world of the highly-anticipated upcoming novel The Girl in the Moon, is the perfect introduction to Angela Constantine, Goodkind’s most memorable creation yet: beautiful, mysterious, and deadly.

http://skyhorsepublishing.com/titles/13931-9781510739802-troubles-child
http://headofzeus.com/books/troubles-child

 

Quote

In his newest heart-pounding suspense novel, #1 New York Times bestselling author Terry Goodkind introduces the world to his most unforgettable and deadly character yet.

Angela Constantine is a girl born broken.

When Angela was young, before she came to realize she had a rare ability, she was a rather ordinary girl. At least, that was what everyone said. But Angela is anything but ordinary. The daughter of a meth addict, she is convinced she was born a freak. Haunted by an abusive childhood, she was forced to become a woman far too soon. And in the process, she became more.

Angela Constantine has a secret life.

Angela juggles multiple jobs to live a secluded life in a cabin in the mountains. But she also lives a secret life, right under everyone’s noses. Because her family’s bloodline carries the ability to recognize killers, she adopts a solitary, violent existence in service of her own, personal mission in life. When Angela unexpectedly finds herself the prey of a group of international terrorists, she is the only one who knows the truth of what they are about to do. She might look like an unlikely hero. She might also be our only hope.

Angela Constantine is . . . The Girl in the Moon.

http://headofzeus.com/books/girl-moon
http://skyhorsepublishing.com/titles/13713-9781510736412-girl-in-the-moon

 

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Man, Terry really wants to not be a fantasy author, but he just can't seem to pull it off.

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Today a new started joined our department,  He sits on the desk next to me.  After the look and smirk  I got after I described the son of Groot (one of the pot plants in the office – now too big to be called baby Groot) “that thing with the strange looking vines”. I am just not sure about him.  I do not know if it’s just pure co-incidence, or he is a Fan of the Yeard, or a Lemming.  He may also now be trying to sus me out or maybe trolling me,  we have since had a careful discussion about book genres without really discussing any particular book or author.  It was freaking weird.  Then he started to eat the chicken strew from the canteen, he then said this wasn’t really chicken and tasted evil, before throwing it away.  – this could be a totally innocent comment – after all it did come from my works canteen.

Having never actually read any books with strange looking vines in them I may have completely missed other references.  He does claim to be well known on a big internet forum, but he won’t tell me which one.

So question.  Have any of you started a new job today? And this all feels familiar.

If its not one of you guys,  how do I work out if he really is Pro / Anti Yeard without revealing too much about myself.  If he is Pro Yeard I don’t really want him to know my thoughts as we do have to work together.

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3 hours ago, Pebble said:

Today a new started joined our department,  He sits on the desk next to me.  After the look and smirk  I got after I described the son of Groot (one of the pot plants in the office – now too big to be called baby Groot) “that thing with the strange looking vines”. I am just not sure about him.  I do not know if it’s just pure co-incidence, or he is a Fan of the Yeard, or a Lemming.  He may also now be trying to sus me out or maybe trolling me,  we have since had a careful discussion about book genres without really discussing any particular book or author.  It was freaking weird.  Then he started to eat the chicken strew from the canteen, he then said this wasn’t really chicken and tasted evil, before throwing it away.  – this could be a totally innocent comment – after all it did come from my works canteen.

Having never actually read any books with strange looking vines in them I may have completely missed other references.  He does claim to be well known on a big internet forum, but he won’t tell me which one.

So question.  Have any of you started a new job today? And this all feels familiar.

If its not one of you guys,  how do I work out if he really is Pro / Anti Yeard without revealing too much about myself.  If he is Pro Yeard I don’t really want him to know my thoughts as we do have to work together.

TMoW started a new job today.   You could try to ask cryptic leading questions with a quiet KNOWING expression.  Like, "Do you think I could hike to lunch in these heeled boots?" or "I've always wanted to be a sculptor, but I don't have a cabin in the woods.  Do YOU have one I could borrow?"

If that doesn't work, you could try asking them if you should grow your hair really super duper long, for "REASONS" and nod slowly to yourself.

Let us know how it goes, Pebs.

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4 hours ago, Pebble said:

Today a new started joined our department,  He sits on the desk next to me.  After the look and smirk  I got after I described the son of Groot (one of the pot plants in the office – now too big to be called baby Groot) “that thing with the strange looking vines”. I am just not sure about him.  I do not know if it’s just pure co-incidence, or he is a Fan of the Yeard, or a Lemming.  He may also now be trying to sus me out or maybe trolling me,  we have since had a careful discussion about book genres without really discussing any particular book or author.  It was freaking weird.  Then he started to eat the chicken strew from the canteen, he then said this wasn’t really chicken and tasted evil, before throwing it away.  – this could be a totally innocent comment – after all it did come from my works canteen.

Having never actually read any books with strange looking vines in them I may have completely missed other references.  He does claim to be well known on a big internet forum, but he won’t tell me which one.

So question.  Have any of you started a new job today? And this all feels familiar.

If its not one of you guys,  how do I work out if he really is Pro / Anti Yeard without revealing too much about myself.  If he is Pro Yeard I don’t really want him to know my thoughts as we do have to work together.

Explain to him how your department is like a mighty centipede, with everyone coming together to form a greater whole. If he immediately quits then he is a Yeardite. You could also try asking him if he chooses death, but that might get you in trouble with HR.

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I had no interest in Goodkind, but this thread has made me curious. If he is so utterly shit, than why is he not anonymous like countless other wannabee fantasy writers? What is the main complaint about his books? Lack of 'strong female characters'? I really don't give a crap about that, or his political leanings, if he has any.

I'm really intrigued. 

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2 hours ago, Gronzag said:

I had no interest in Goodkind, but this thread has made me curious. If he is so utterly shit, than why is he not anonymous like countless other wannabee fantasy writers? What is the main complaint about his books? Lack of 'strong female characters'? I really don't give a crap about that, or his political leanings, if he has any.

I'm really intrigued. 

http://sandstormreviews.blogspot.com/2006/08/goodkind-parodies.html

http://www.sermountaingoat.co.uk/posts/parodies/index.php

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On 18/03/2018 at 3:15 PM, AncalagonTheBlack said:

Fellow lemmings,i bring more glad tidings from Tairyland! He recently released a new novella titled Trouble's Child,which also serves as a prequel to his upcoming mystery/thriller The Girl in the Moon,coming out on the 20th!
 

Behold the awesome blurbs for both!

 

 

If the pirate plumbers show up, I might have to give these books a shot! :P

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On ‎3‎/‎18‎/‎2018 at 7:15 PM, AncalagonTheBlack said:

Fellow lemmings,i bring more glad tidings from Tairyland! He recently released a new novella titled Trouble's Child,which also serves as a prequel to his upcoming mystery/thriller The Girl in the Moon,coming out on the 20th!
 

Behold the awesome blurbs for both!

 

 

Was it a noble wolf?

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21 hours ago, Gronzag said:

I had no interest in Goodkind, but this thread has made me curious. If he is so utterly shit, than why is he not anonymous like countless other wannabee fantasy writers? What is the main complaint about his books? Lack of 'strong female characters'? I really don't give a crap about that, or his political leanings, if he has any.

I'm really intrigued. 

I think that he attracts a lot of flak because he is rude to fans, rude to his cover artist, rude about other authors, and increasingly, he preaches at his readers.

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1 hour ago, SeanF said:

I think that he attracts a lot of flak because he is rude to fans, rude to his cover artist, rude about other authors, and increasingly, he preaches at his readers.

He's also shit. He's a technically bad author who doesn't have a very good grasp of characterisation, pacing or how to structure a narrative. The fact that his work is so awful (to the point of comedy on occasion) but he's so po-faced about it and claims it's Real Literature is just what makes it amusing.

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