How's Life thread

[drawkcabi]

1 minute ago, Ser Scot A Ellison said:

God be with you and your family during this incredibly difficult time.  I wish all of you peace.  

Thank you Scot.

Dad was raised Catholic and we got a priest to come in, they don't call it "last" rights anymore but that's essentially what he did.

I'm an atheist but I want to honor and respect my father's beliefs as best I can. In some cases kind thoughts and prayers are really all anyone can do and I do appreciate the wishes of support in any form.

[Ser Scot A Ellison]

34 minutes ago, drawkcabi said:

Thank you Scot.

Dad was raised Catholic and we got a priest to come in, they don't call it "last" rights anymore but that's essentially what he did.

I'm an atheist but I want to honor and respect my father's beliefs as best I can. In some cases kind thoughts and prayers are really all anyone can do and I do appreciate the wishes of support in any form.

I can absolutely keep you and your family in my thoughts.  

[Tears of Lys]

7 hours ago, drawkcabi said:

@Tears of Lys

Don Rickles once said of Frank Sinatra when asked how Frank was doing "He's got Sicilian Alzheimer's. He only remembers the grudges."

My mom loves that joke because it's so true.

Dad took a turn for the worse over the weekend. They transferred him from the hospital to a hospice that specializes in care during final days. My mom is staying there with him until he goes. I'm going to see him today.

 

I'm sorry about your father and brother

Also sorry about your ankle and knee  Hope they feel better soon.

The plantar fasciitis along with my swlolen feet and legs, arthritic knees and other joints, and general over stressed body due to my being obese is definitely taking its toll. To (most likely) make all that feel at least somewhat better I know what I need to do and I know it's my responsibility to do so, but in the meanwhile it's very painful just moving around and the thing that most helps me forget all the pain and ease my mood is the thing that's keeping me fat.

Thanks, Drawk.  I like that joke too - it IS true!   

As for food being your comfort and your bane, I know YOU know all the things you should be doing.  No one knows the dieting dos and don'ts like a person who's battled obesity.  They're EXPERTS at it.  My middle sister (the one who's mad at me) spent most of her youth being morbidly obese, and she knew every dieting/exercise trick in the book.  It's definitely not ignorance that causes it, but rather emotional.  When she got to a good place in her life, she put all that knowledge to use.  She's reached her goal weight, can buy the clothes she likes, etc., etc.  But her experiences definitely left scars on her psyche. 

Anyway, the only advice I can give you (unsolicited  ) is to find something else to relax and distract you - whether it be wood carving, researching obscure stuff, crossword puzzles - anything that it's impossible to eat during.  The only requirement is that it be something you love and will make the hours pass quickly.  You're going to have to do some foot stretches to help the plantar fasciitis along.  Here's a linky to get you started:

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/2-quick-easy-stretches-for-plantar-fasciitis-video/

And don't get suckered in by a podiatrist getting you to buy a special orthotic to support your arch.  You can pick them up for MUCH cheaper at a store that caters to runners/joggers. 

About your dad, no matter how old they are, it still feels like a terrible loss when you lose a parent.  My dad was 92 and suffering from dementia, macular degeneration, hearing loss - you name it.  We still didn't want to lose him.  It'll be very disorienting for a while now.  Just know that this too shall pass and life will look good again.  Hang in there, and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! 

[drawkcabi]

RIP Luciano DiSalvo 1928 - 2018.

[Ser Scot A Ellison]

40 minutes ago, drawkcabi said:

RIP Luciano DiSalvo 1928 - 2018.

Drawkcabi,

I'm so very sorry for you and your family.  May your father's memory be eternal.  

[drawkcabi]

5 minutes ago, Ser Scot A Ellison said:

Drawkcabi,

I'm so very sorry for you and your family.  May your father's memory be eternal.  

Thank you.

I'll tell you one thing Scot, anyone who's met him, even just a brief single encounter, would be hard pressed to not remember him.

[maarsen]

3 hours ago, drawkcabi said:

RIP Luciano DiSalvo 1928 - 2018.

It has been 5 years since my father died.  He was also born in 1928. And I still never know what to say to someone who has lost someone close. Stay strong, Drawkcabi.

[Tears of Lys]

My younger brother - 1953 - 2018.

2018 has been a shitty year around these parts.  

[Larry of the Lawn]

@Tears of Lys sorry for your loss 

[drawkcabi]

@Tears of Lys

I'm so sorry.

[drawkcabi]

Just called an ambulance to take my mom to the hospital. She was having some sort of gastric intestinal attack in serious pain.

 

2018 is a sadistic fucking year.

[Ser Scot A Ellison]

ToL, Drawkabi,

my deepest sympathies to you both.

[A Horse Named Stranger]

My sympathies lie with you Drawkcabi.

I had to (unexpectedly) bury my mum earlier this year, and I also took guardianship over my demented dad. Which essentially left me in charge of organizing her funeral, as my dad was not really particularly helpful. And (as harsh as it sounds) I somewhat expected my mum to outlive my dad, who does not enjoy a particularly healthy lifestyle (over 60 years of heavy smoking, who had a quadruple bypass last year). To top this really shitty year off, he fell early last month and fractured his hip, and the hospital send him back home in a really bad shape (every tiny move hurt him, and really getting him out of and into his bed was a real pain in or rather on my back (quite literally)). So I was really forced to put him into nursery for the next month at least and hope he gets out of there in a shape that has at least some (pain free) mobility restored to him. Needless to say, that my mum's passing was also quite hard on him emotionally.

 

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

I'm sorry to hear about your losses @drawkcabi and @Tears of Lys. I too lost someone this past weekend, my grandfather and our family's patriarch. 

Born in 1920 in deep poverty to immigrant parents who fled Russia due to religious persecution, he was head of his class and graduate from high school when he was 16. He graduated from the University of Minnesota when he was 19, and was half way through law school when Pearl Harbor was attacked. He became a Marine intelligence officer, serving in both World War 2 and the Korean War, rising to the rank of Colonel. He completed his law degree after WW2 and held dual roles in both private practice and the military. In the 50's he became the first managing partner in his firm's history, and helped lead them to become one of the most prominent firms in the Midwest. In 1960 he was considered to be a potential candidate for the Attorney General of Minnesota, but decided now to run against an acquaintance from law school. That acquaintance was Walter Mondale, who would go on to become a U.S. Senator and the Democratic nominee for president in 1984. He was also one of my professors in college and he even sought me out after the first class to ask if Bud was my grandfather (we have an uncommon surname).

Having lived a charmed and successful life, my grandfather was able to retire young and spent the remainder of life until his health failed him traveling the world and playing golf. He was a testament to the American Dream, a true rags to riches story.

[drawkcabi]

@SpaceForce Tywin et al.

What an amazing person and such an amazing life! Your words are a wonderful tribute to him. My sincere condolences on your loss but what an inspiring figure, definitely a life that should be celebrated.

[drawkcabi]

So mom is doing better bit by bit but still not eating too much. She's got slow digestion due to her umbilical hernia and when she gets constipated which she's been more prone to lately, it causes the serve pain like her stomach is going to explode and the throwing up the dark brown bile and such.

So I've been giving her a low dose of Metamucil in her apple juice every day since last week and she's doing better but not completely out of the woods.

As for me, yesterday after my morning constitution then taking care of mom and then the dog (she turned 1 year old yesterday!!!) I made a big breakfast, then sat in my chair with my feet up on my ottoman, a few bottles of water, a couple snacks, and

(kind gross but I don't think really bad)

Spoiler

used an empty 64oz Motts apple juice bottle as a urinal and stayed off my feet for about 24 hours, by the next morning the apple juice jug was completely full.

And the result?

When I got up today for the first time in over 6 months, no pain from the plantar fasciitis!!!

Still pain from my fallen arches and general arthritis...

but it's the little victories, you know?

[Tears of Lys]

I've been meaning to ask how your mom is doing.  It's got to have been a shock to her.  No one is really prepared for such a loss.  Is her doctor aware of her throwing up like that? 

Hope your dad had his "affairs in order," as they say, before he passed.  The last thing you guys need are problems in that area. 

Good to know your PF is cooperating!   

[drawkcabi]

5 hours ago, Tears of Lys said:

I've been meaning to ask how your mom is doing.  It's got to have been a shock to her.  No one is really prepared for such a loss.  Is her doctor aware of her throwing up like that? 

Hope your dad had his "affairs in order," as they say, before he passed.  The last thing you guys need are problems in that area. 

Good to know your PF is cooperating!   

That's another one of the crazy things.

In the beginning of September both my mom and dad had follow ups with their primary care who is the same doctor. Dad had just gotten out of the hospital for the second time this summer and it was important he followed up. A couple days before the appointment we got a call from their office saying the doctor has had a "medical emergency" and was cancelling all appointments.

I tried to get an appointment for my dad with my primary care but they didn't have anything until mid October. I took the appointment just to have it in place and hoped his regular primary care would be available again before then.

Dad kept his appointments with his specialist doctors but his health increasingly declined and he didn't make it to mid October. Since it was a first appointment with my primary care I was able to switch that appointment to my mom so she's got a primary care doctor to follow up with.

When mom is left alone she gets withdrawn and sad, but whenever I talk to her, someone comes over, or she gets a phone call, it lifts her spirits.

My dad's affairs are in order such as they are, with being a gambling addict and some other factors his affairs have taken a serious beating.

[drawkcabi]

Had a rough day today.

Went grocery shopping for the first time since my dad passed away. I kept passing by things I used to buy for him. Fruit, bread, pastries, cheese, etc. and I didn't have to buy any of it and it made me...angry!

I wanted to scream in the middle of the store. Then I started feeling nauseous and wanted to break down and cry. It was also muggy as hell today and I was sweating bullets, my shirt was drenched, the four paper towels I keep in my pocket for wiping my face were all soaked. I had to sit down a couple times to cool down physically and mentally. I finally got my shopping down. I was holding it together pretty well until today.

[Ser Scot A Ellison]

1 hour ago, drawkcabi said:

Had a rough day today.

Went grocery shopping for the first time since my dad passed away. I kept passing by things I used to buy for him. Fruit, bread, pastries, cheese, etc. and I didn't have to buy any of it and it made me...angry!

I wanted to scream in the middle of the store. Then I started feeling nauseous and wanted to break down and cry. It was also muggy as hell today and I was sweating bullets, my shirt was drenched, the four paper towels I keep in my pocket for wiping my face were all soaked. I had to sit down a couple times to cool down physically and mentally. I finally got my shopping down. I was holding it together pretty well until today.

I’m sorry to hear that but I’m very happy to hear that your mother is improving.