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Maithanet der Mannschaft

Doomsday Warrior: The Return of Ted Rockson

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How did Rock get out of this one?  

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"We called your wife.  She's bailed you out.  Stand up, it's time to go home, Rock."

 

 
Who should be bailing him out but blonde side-girlfriend Kim!  So...yeah, Bizzarro Salt Lake City is most certainly not 1989 Salt Lake City, but some sort of fictional simulation that Rock is trapped in.  I don't really know how Stacy could make this more obvious, but even still Rock hasn't figured it out.  
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"Kim, I can't quite remember clearly...Are you sure you're my wife?"
"Oh darling, you are in bad shape.  Here - your nose must have been bleeding.  Are you all right?"
She dabbed at his upper lip, kissed him on the cheek and straightened his tie.  "Come on, let's go home.  I can't let the neighbor watch the kids so much without paying her."
You'd think Rock would be quite shaken by this news that he has a family that he doesn't remember.  But he takes it all in stride, instead focusing on what a crappy car they have (a rusty Gremlin).  How Rockson is familiar with 1980s cars is unclear, but apparently this is part of Common Core in the post-apocalyptic schools of 2060.  
 
But don't worry, the sexism of the series isn't gone just because we're trapped in someone's imagination.  Kim must stop and get groceries on their way home :stillsick::ack: 
 
Once at home we meet little Ted Jr (six) and Barb (age not mentioned, I guess girls don't get ages?) Kim seems not the least bit perturbed that her husband seems to have amnesia from what she thinks is a two day bender.  This would seem like bad characterization, but this isn't really Kim anyway, and it's not like real Kim ever noticed Rock's failings either.  
 
It's pretty clear that Stacey gives himself an out because it seems like Rock is gradually getting brainwashed such that he can't remember anything.  Earlier in this fugue-sequence he remembered that the apocalypse was in just five days, but now he has forgotten this fact, and is instead content that the newspaper insists nuclear disarmament talks are going well.  
 
So not only are we reading about a dream sequence, we're reading about a dream sequence where the main character has no agency.  Riveting storytelling :rolleyes:
 
Rock then watches a propaganda program on tv from The Chessmaster, who insists that social order is good and everything else is bad.  Methinks this guy might be the villain?
Edited by Maithanet

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Oh, my. I hadn’t noticed that these threads were alive again. I pray for your sanity.

Fun fact: of the chess game, every move up to Nf5 is theory - and could be played by a grandmaster, at least in theory. However, I think that theory leads to rather a lot of exchanges and a quite bloodless endgame. Still, until move 5 it could be taken from a chess book. 

And then Stacy shows his ... well, he shows something. 

Wonder if this Chessmaster will show similar skills?

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19 hours ago, Rorshach said:

Oh, my. I hadn’t noticed that these threads were alive again. I pray for your sanity.
Fun fact: of the chess game, every move up to Nf5 is theory - and could be played by a grandmaster, at least in theory. However, I think that theory leads to rather a lot of exchanges and a quite bloodless endgame. Still, until move 5 it could be taken from a chess book. 

Showing my lack of chess bona fides, what is "theory" in a chess context?

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And then Stacy shows his ... well, he shows something. 

Wonder if this Chessmaster will show similar skills?

I can only hope! 

Although if we're being honest, I hope the story just gets on with it.  Rockson stumbling around in a walking illusion is really dull.  I want my ridiculous monsters and misogynistic heroism! 

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16 minutes ago, Maithanet said:

Showing my lack of chess bona fides, what is "theory" in a chess context?

Theory in chess simply means «played before at a high level». Mostly, it’s also restricted to «played before more than a few times». 

Those known lines (played before) can at worst run up to around 20 moves. Those are not the most interesting games to watch :)

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3 minutes ago, Rorshach said:

Theory in chess simply means «played before at a high level». Mostly, it’s also restricted to «played before more than a few times». 

Those known lines (played before) can at worst run up to around 20 moves. Those are not the most interesting games to watch :)

Thanks!  I can see why those would not be fan favorites.

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When we left our hero, he was trapped in dullsville Bizzaro Salt Lake City with his "wife" Kim and "family".  Yes, Rockson has encountered an attractive female character, and you know what that means!  It's sex scene time.

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Just lie back, dear.  You remember what the Chessman says about sex.  It's the woman's job.

:ack: The writing of the sex scene is every bit as awful as MinDonner led us all to believe.  At one point there's a reference to Kim's "blonde triangle", which seems like something I might have come up with if I were describing sex prior to ever actually being naked with a woman.  

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The probing shaft slid in and out between the opened petals of flesh.  She rolled her eyes, rocked her head back and forth on the pillow.  The bed set up some sort of obscene rhythm underneath them.

What do you think an obscene rhythm is?  Google has exactly 206 results for that phrase, and a quick scan looks like it's primarily bad erotica.  So I'll give Ryder Stacy credit for originality.

Then Rock goes to sleep, and we are subject to a dream sequence within a hallucination.  I was hoping this dream sequence could also feature a flashback, but no dice.  It's the typical dream sequence of Rock trying to warn himself about the dangers of Bizzaro Salt Lake City.  It ends with Rock running from the Chessman's goons, armed with flamethrowers.  But he's trapped in place by a vision of a beautiful blonde woman.  WHAT COULD IT MEAN.

The next morning we're subject to an internal monologue from Kim worrying about her husband:

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He seemed to be hallucinating.  Poor teddy!  Was he going insane? Such things did happen.  And would would become of her and the children if Teddy was put away?  

She resolved to act normal.  Teddy would come around and return to his usual self.  Except for one thing;  He had mysteriously become a great lover.  She hoped that change would endure!

First of all :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Also, isn't this Kim just a figment of Rock's imagination?  Where is this monologue even coming from?  

Up Next:  Rock heads to work and meets still more imaginary characters, including everyone's favorite acrobat/amazon/freedom fighter Rona!  Anyone want to guess what her profession is here in Bizzaro Salt Lake City?  I'll give you a hint: you probably only need one guess. 

Edited by Maithanet

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Maithanet, I have to thank you for falling on the grenade, metaphorically speaking, for the rest of us. I can't count the times I have seen this type of drivel on bookstore shelves while needing a fantasy or sf fix in the worst way. Stay strong.

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