Charles Calthrop Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 Tyrion loves the hoes nearly as much as Bob Baratheon, but doesn’t seem to have bastards. Why is this? Are the girls ‘forgetting’ to take moon tea after BB, but diligent with Tyrion? Is it just Tywin cleaning up after him (and maybe this is why he’s so fed up with Tyrion)? Or is it that Tyrion is shooting blanks? The books seem oddly silent on this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Eyes Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 22 minutes ago, Charles Calthrop said: Tyrion loves the hoes nearly as much as Bob Baratheon, but doesn’t seem to have bastards. Why is this? Are the girls ‘forgetting’ to take moon tea after BB, but diligent with Tyrion? Is it just Tywin cleaning up after him (and maybe this is why he’s so fed up with Tyrion)? Or is it that Tyrion is shooting blanks? The books seem oddly silent on this. I say that nobody wants a dwarf bastard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sigella Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 8 minutes ago, Angel Eyes said: I say that nobody wants a dwarf bastard. Not just any dwarf but The Imp... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ylath's Snout Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 51 minutes ago, Charles Calthrop said: Are the girls ‘forgetting’ to take moon tea after BB, but diligent with Tyrion? Seam reasonable. Not to be shitty but living as a dawrf bastard born to a whore in Westeros sound pretty pretty bad. An that is before Cersei starts the Royal Dwarven Cranium Collection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zandru Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 I'm with everybody else. After laying with Tyrion, one would expect the sex worker to take immediate steps to cleanse herself. They know even a Lannister bastard would be nobody if it turned out dwarfed and unattractive like the horrible little monkey devil who spawned it. Robert Baratheon, on the other hand - well. early in his career he was the heir to or lord of Storms End and Warden of the Stormlands. A baby by him would be somebody, and Lord Robert had the wherewithal to raise the baby. (Not that he ever did, mind you, but likely he'd say so and then "forget".) Later, he was King of the 7 Kingdoms, the Andals, the First Men, the Rhoynar, yada yada yada, so all that applies in spades. Plus, early on he was fit and good looking. By the end, girls fell into his arms because of his position. (One hopes for their sakes, "not missionary"... ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 9 minutes ago, zandru said: One hopes for their sakes, "not missionary"... ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kandrax Posted July 7, 2018 Share Posted July 7, 2018 Imagine that Tyrion's bastard become giant of men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Calthrop Posted July 8, 2018 Author Share Posted July 8, 2018 3 hours ago, zandru said: (One hopes for their sakes, "not missionary"... ;-) Given how he was usually piss drunk, odds are not good... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texas Hold Em Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 The women would panic because they assume the baby in the oven might come out like Tyrion. A trip to the chemists for some abortion potion takes care of the problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anjulibai Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 Tywin would kill any bastard of Tyrions and do who knows what with the mother, and I have no doubt Tyrion is aware of this. Likely, he makes sure to let the prostitutes know this as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TPTWP Timett Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 21 minutes ago, anjulibai said: Tywin would kill any bastard of Tyrions and do who knows what with the mother, and I have no doubt Tyrion is aware of this. Likely, he makes sure to let the prostitutes know this as well. I don't really agree Tywin chasing Tyrion's prostitutes around Westeros is hilarious I don't think he would have. I believe that as long as the woman wasn't dumb enough to actively claim a Lannister bastard Tywin could care less. Now if a mother brought her child to the rock to make her claim... Well I wouldn't want to be her let's just say that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernie Mac Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 38 minutes ago, anjulibai said: Tywin would kill any bastard of Tyrions and do who knows what with the mother, and I have no doubt Tywin's bastard niece resides at Casterly Rock, he is pretty much her guardian with her father lost on his adventures and it was Tywin who was arranging her marriage. Tywin's problem is less to do with Tyrion sleeping with whores, something that most noble males likely do but that he stupidly married a homeless peasant he knew for a week when he was 13 he threatened the lives of Tywin's grandson's over the safety of a whore I imagine Tywin would not mind Tyrion having a healthy bastard child, but he'd not expect that too mean a relationship with the mother. 38 minutes ago, anjulibai said: Tyrion is aware of this. Likely, he makes sure to let the prostitutes know this as well. Tyrion is one of the main POV characters and not once does he think this or ever warn Shae about this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giant Ice Spider Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 If I were a prostitute, I'm not sure I'd drink the moon tea. The Lannisters, need I remind you, are filthy rich. If you could get even a scrap of that wealth to 'support the child', it might just be worth it to have that ugly dwarf's ugly kid. And given the lack of medical knowledge, they might even think a small child would make an easier childbirth, for all I know. What probably happens is the prostitutes make the trip to Casterly Rock, whereupon they are warmly invited to the land of 'where whores go' (which I'm pretty sure is the graveyard). Of course, we have no way of knowing Tyrion's sperm count. If it's as small as he is, that could explain things. This may be possible as he has a lot of sex with Shae, and I'm pretty sure there are no woods witches in KL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Micaelys Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 i get the impression he only sleeps with prostitutes. they probably don't want to get pregnant and take care of things, they cannot prove the child is a Lannister so what would be the point. I also don't think Tyrion would go for a virgin prostitute, he seems the type who would like an experienced prostitute who is good at pretending and can hide their disgust of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernie Mac Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 1 hour ago, Giant Ice Spider said: If I were a prostitute, I'm not sure I'd drink the moon tea. The Lannisters, need I remind you, are filthy rich. If you could get even a scrap of that wealth to 'support the child', Joy Hill lives at the Rock, I doubt her mother gets to see her at all or was given money for her birth. Look at Oberyn and how he has treated some of the smallfolk mothers of his bastards, he simply took custody of them. The same is likely true of the milk maid mother of Ryger Rivers. Either the child is accepted and acknowledged as a bastard in which case the mother would lose custody or the child is unacknowledged and the mother told to go on her merry way. 1 hour ago, Giant Ice Spider said: it might just be worth it to have that ugly dwarf's ugly kid. And given the lack of medical knowledge, they might even think a small child would make an easier childbirth, for all I know. Tyrion is infamous for killing his mother when she gave birth to him, if they know who Tyrion is they likely know how his mother died. And sadly most whores in Westeros have not picked their line of work because that was their chosen vocation, they have done so because it is their only means of financial support (or have been forced into it). Many are not going to be willing to take the time off to have a child, even if they think there is the possibility of a big pay day. Quote What probably happens is the prostitutes make the trip to Casterly Rock, whereupon they are warmly invited to the land of 'where whores go' (which I'm pretty sure is the graveyard). That does not appear to have happened to the mothers of Lynorra or Joy Hill, two current Lannister bastards. What would be more likely to happen is either they are not believed and sent on their way or their children are taken away from them and raised as minor nobility with no compensation going to the woman, as why would there be, they have no rights in the matter. And think of the logistics of the situation, common folk in the medieval world are not able to travel huge distances, some random whore from Kings Landing is simply not going to have the means to travel to Casterly Rock, nor is she able to just turn up and ask for a meeting with the Warden of the West. Quote Of course, we have no way of knowing Tyrion's sperm count. If it's as small as he is, that could explain things. This may be possible as he has a lot of sex with Shae, and I'm pretty sure there are no woods witches in KL. It has little to do with sperm, being pregnant means being out of work for whores, it is not going to be feasible for the majority of them. Only the young and/or dumb ones will be unlucky to get lumbered with a babe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giant Ice Spider Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 31 minutes ago, Bernie Mac said: Joy Hill lives at the Rock, I doubt her mother gets to see her at all or was given money for her birth. Look at Oberyn and how he has treated some of the smallfolk mothers of his bastards, he simply took custody of them. The same is likely true of the milk maid mother of Ryger Rivers. Either the child is accepted and acknowledged as a bastard in which case the mother would lose custody or the child is unacknowledged and the mother told to go on her merry way. Tyrion is infamous for killing his mother when she gave birth to him, if they know who Tyrion is they likely know how his mother died. And sadly most whores in Westeros have not picked their line of work because that was their chosen vocation, they have done so because it is their only means of financial support (or have been forced into it). Many are not going to be willing to take the time off to have a child, even if they think there is the possibility of a big pay day. That does not appear to have happened to the mothers of Lynorra or Joy Hill, two current Lannister bastards. What would be more likely to happen is either they are not believed and sent on their way or their children are taken away from them and raised as minor nobility with no compensation going to the woman, as why would there be, they have no rights in the matter. And think of the logistics of the situation, common folk in the medieval world are not able to travel huge distances, some random whore from Kings Landing is simply not going to have the means to travel to Casterly Rock, nor is she able to just turn up and ask for a meeting with the Warden of the West. It has little to do with sperm, being pregnant means being out of work for whores, it is not going to be feasible for the majority of them. Only the young and/or dumb ones will be unlucky to get lumbered with a babe. That does not change the fact that Tyrion and Shae have quite a bit of sex for the better part of a year and he never got her pregnant. It's not unheard of for that sort of thing to happen, but I would have thought it would actually be in Shae's best interests to have Tyrion's baby. She'll get more gold from him (since he is the type to look after his bastards), and then there's the matter of ensuring he doesn't lose interest. While it could end up like Cissy and Harrold Hardyng, Tyrion is no Harry the Heir and having his child could further endear her to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernie Mac Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 21 minutes ago, Giant Ice Spider said: That does not change the fact that Tyrion and Shae have quite a bit of sex for the better part of a year and he never got her pregnant. Shae is clearly smart enough to do her best to avoid getting pregnant. Unlike Tyrion, she is pretty clear on the nature of their relationship, she is unlikely to want to end it by getting pregnant. 21 minutes ago, Giant Ice Spider said: It's not unheard of for that sort of thing to happen, but I would have thought it would actually be in Shae's best interests to have Tyrion's baby. How? She is already making money from the relationship and her getting pregnant and the sex stopping may actually means she is no longer required. Not only is she aware of how Tyrion's mother died but she is sensible to know that her body is her meal ticket, it would hardly be in her best interests to potentially ruin it (which rightly or wrongly has always been a worry for women). 21 minutes ago, Giant Ice Spider said: She'll get more gold from him Will she? I'm not sure Shae is aware of that. Shae seems to be worried about being discarded, which is going to be a natural worry for any woman in her position. And you are looking at this from an entirely modern viewpoint. If Tyrion loses interest in her she has nothing but a baby to show for it, a baby that Tyrion has no obligation to care or provide for. If Tyrion loses interest in her but wants to keep the baby he can do so and she is powerless to stop him, losing the baby and never likely seeing her child again. The sad truth is the smallfolk, especially a whore, has no rights in their world. Getting pregnant is a huge gamble. 21 minutes ago, Giant Ice Spider said: (since he is the type to look after his bastards), Again, I don't know why Shae would know that and even as a reader who gets to read Tyrion's thoughts I'm not sure that is true. He hates his father, sister, nephew and cousin. He is not particularly fond of anyone and seems to enjoy his playboy lifestyle. 21 minutes ago, Giant Ice Spider said: and then there's the matter of ensuring he doesn't lose interest. While it could end up like Cissy and Harrold Hardyng, Tyrion is no Harry the Heir and having his child could further endear her to him. Tyrion has not got with her because of her personality, he wanted sex and tasked his man to find whoever was available. Shae is not dumb, she knows how easily she can be replaced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moiraine Sedai Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 Maybe the Imp is impotent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 Tyrion is impotent even though he's possibly the character we see having sex the most. That actually explains so much... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corvo the Crow Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 One is a prostitute in Braavos, somewhat Ironic come to think of it. She is also worth more than the others, as befits a Lannister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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