HexMachina Posted October 5, 2018 Share Posted October 5, 2018 Depends how mature a 19 year old she is, and how immature you are I guess. I don’t go by hard and fast rules re: age (besides the obvious legal rule, duh) because I’ve known 18 year olds waaaay more emotionally mature than some 30+ year olds, it all depends on the specific person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted October 5, 2018 Share Posted October 5, 2018 I am VERY bias as my first and only relationship was with a 27/28 year old bloke when I was 18/19 and he 100% wasn’t v nice and it was a prett bad idea. I wouldn’t care about age gaps that much now because I’m 24 but 18/19 is still super young - but I guess it’s arbitrary to just suddenly not be as creeped out as someone turns 20. I dunno - I think if you keep in mind her age and what that means it could be OK but honestly I’m personally not comfortable with 18 y/o’s and guys in their late 20s but I know that’s a personal thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceChampion Posted October 5, 2018 Share Posted October 5, 2018 14 hours ago, Starkess said: I booked tickets today to go to Australia for Christmas with my boyfriend. I'm both REALLY excited and a bit nervous. Meeting his whole family, plus staying with them for over 2 weeks, including for a major holiday, is a little nervewracking. But mostly excited. I spent a few weeks with a girl in Australia over the Christmas holidays once. Super awkward xmas day with her work friend's family. So odd having a hot weather xmas too. I recommend bringing them kitschy American gifts, since they gave me kitschy Aussie gifts and it hadn't even occurred to me to exchange presents. I thought it was just dinner. What part of Australia are you going? I took a bus tour between Sydney and Adelaide -- I think it was 3 or 4 days -- along the south coast. My favourite Aussie saying I still use today: "No worries." Use that instead of "no problem". Watch out for the drop bears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liffguard Posted October 5, 2018 Share Posted October 5, 2018 The age discussion is timely. I've been chatting recently with someone a fair bit younger than myself, and I'm definitely interested but hesitant. I'm 31, she's 21 (and frankly looks younger than that). Part of me wants to just say fuck it, we're both adults, life is short etc. and just go for it. Ten year age gaps are hardly unprecedented. Hell, that's the difference in my parents' ages. But there's also a big part of me that's uncomfortable with it. She's still in uni - in a postgrad program, but still - whereas I've been out of education and independent for a decade. Just very different reference points and life stages. I really don't know. In other news, I did have a Tinder date at a local board game cafe the other day that went pretty well. It wasn't love at first sight or anything, but she was funny and awkward in an endearing way, and I had fun. So we're meeting again for dinner tomorrow evening. No idea where I see this heading yet, guess we'll just see where things go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starkess Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 11 hours ago, SpaceChampion said: I spent a few weeks with a girl in Australia over the Christmas holidays once. Super awkward xmas day with her work friend's family. So odd having a hot weather xmas too. I recommend bringing them kitschy American gifts, since they gave me kitschy Aussie gifts and it hadn't even occurred to me to exchange presents. I thought it was just dinner. What part of Australia are you going? I took a bus tour between Sydney and Adelaide -- I think it was 3 or 4 days -- along the south coast. My favourite Aussie saying I still use today: "No worries." Use that instead of "no problem". Watch out for the drop bears. I'm so excited for a hot weather Christmas, I am not a winter person at all!! Good point about some kitschy USA stuff, I'll make sure to bring something along. We're going to Sydney mostly, but may also go to Perth, where his mom live (or she may come to Sydney to visit instead). I have always been extremely arachnophobic so I'm legit worried about the crazy Australian spiders. I do know that drop bears aren't real at least! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Chatywin et al. Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 This weekend was a prime example of why I always say to shoot your shot, even if you think it will miss. I got into a random conversation on Facebook with a beautiful woman I worked on a campaign with a few years back. We were just trash talking each other over college football, and she mentioned she’d be in town in a few weeks and told me she rather talk to me face to face than over the internet. I blurted out that I had a big crush on her back when we worked together and she said the same, but she was in a messed up relationship at the time (that I was aware of). Anyways, we spent all weekend talking to one another and I think I’ve got a hot date soon…… *fingers crossed* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 3 minutes ago, Mandy said: Oh wow. Years later this thread is still going, nice to see it. A friend of mine told me people aren't mentally fully developed until the age of 25, so as long as they're 25, it's fine. I think age doesn't matter so much depending on the person, but also think there are plenty of people over the age of 25 who don't seem very well mentally developed lol That makes sense ahah I’m 24 - maybe I’ll actually become a well adjusted and responsible adult this time next year Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Chatywin et al. Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 Perhaps I spoke too soon. Was kind of foolish to get my hopes up. 16 hours ago, Mandy said: Oh wow. Years later this thread is still going, nice to see it. A friend of mine told me people aren't mentally fully developed until the age of 25, so as long as they're 25, it's fine. I think age doesn't matter so much depending on the person, but also think there are plenty of people over the age of 25 who don't seem very well mentally developed lol That’s because the part of your brain that governs decision making and risk manage is the last to develop, and yeah, your mid-twenties is when that happens, though of course it varies from person to person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckwheat Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 It actually makes me sad. I am 26, going to turn 27 in a few months, and I don't want to think my brain has stopped developing - I want to develop myself further! Or maybe I am just weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry of the Lawn Posted October 9, 2018 Author Share Posted October 9, 2018 7 hours ago, SpaceForce Tywin et al. said: Perhaps I spoke too soon. Was kind of foolish to get my hopes up. That’s because the part of your brain that governs decision making and risk manage is the last to develop, and yeah, your mid-twenties is when that happens, though of course it varies from person to person. Oh, I still haven't figured out that part at 35 so I'm pretty sure brains develop for much longer than stated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erik of Hazelfield Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 Two days ago I chatted with two different girls on Tinder. One seems super cute and a very careful person, asking me a lot of questions and having a very detailed description on her profile what she wants from a date (we have a lot of common interests). The other girl seems more relaxed, comes from Poland but speaks six or seven languages and likes adventures and sailing, which is a big plus because it’s my passion too. I think both would be interesting to meet on a date, and I should probably try to set that up. My problem is that I’m having sort of a bad mood period right now. I don’t know why, but I’m struggling with finding the energy to go to the gym, I’m not getting much done at work, I’m tired and unfocused all the time and I just generally feel unworthy of dating. Like, why should someone else like me when I don’t even like myself? Anyone else who has any experience with this? Is it better to stay off dating until you’ve regained your confidence or is that just a bad idea that leads to more loneliness? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meera of Tarth Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 3 hours ago, Buckwheat said: It actually makes me sad. I am 26, going to turn 27 in a few months, and I don't want to think my brain has stopped developing - I want to develop myself further! Or maybe I am just weird. Not sure about brain as an organ and certain mental functions, but it's a fact that mind can be developed at any age. Those who think otherwise are the ones too lazy to develop further. Both things are different, consider brain as the basis of a cake. It's up to you how you decorate it later. (.....Or maybe I say this because I turned 31 and I just want to convince myself I can still develop further .....) No matter what, attitude is what counts. There are also upper-bounds in regards to other physical attributes such as strength and velocity IIRC. I thought about them lately. I'm fitter now than when I theoretically should have been better if I had been practising serious sport. So I said to myself, why compare if you are better now? And also, if there are seniors more fit than I (even if maybe they were fitter at younger ages, though not necessarily) and anyone can work on that, with more easiness you can develop your mental capabilities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Chatywin et al. Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 3 hours ago, Buckwheat said: It actually makes me sad. I am 26, going to turn 27 in a few months, and I don't want to think my brain has stopped developing - I want to develop myself further! Or maybe I am just weird. 29 minutes ago, larrytheimp said: Oh, I still haven't figured out that part at 35 so I'm pretty sure brains develop for much longer than stated. It's just the physical development, You can always keep growing as a person. Generally speaking, your brain begins to degrade in your early thirties, but life lessons and wisdom gained offsets it. ETA: Here, I'll at @Ormond for you. He's a professor of psychology. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liffguard Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 1 hour ago, Erik of Hazelfield said: My problem is that I’m having sort of a bad mood period right now. I don’t know why, but I’m struggling with finding the energy to go to the gym, I’m not getting much done at work, I’m tired and unfocused all the time and I just generally feel unworthy of dating. Like, why should someone else like me when I don’t even like myself? Anyone else who has any experience with this? Is it better to stay off dating until you’ve regained your confidence or is that just a bad idea that leads to more loneliness? Yep, definitely. All the fucking time. Rationally, the best advice is probably to push through it and keep putting yourself out there. But I find that hard to follow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 21 hours ago, Erik of Hazelfield said: My problem is that I’m having sort of a bad mood period right now. I don’t know why, but I’m struggling with finding the energy to go to the gym, I’m not getting much done at work, I’m tired and unfocused all the time and I just generally feel unworthy of dating. Like, why should someone else like me when I don’t even like myself? Anyone else who has any experience with this? Is it better to stay off dating until you’ve regained your confidence or is that just a bad idea that leads to more loneliness? I’ve been feeling this way for years whilst I’ve been working, studying and volunteering. I’m so mentally tired that I feel like id have nothing to offer so I dont even bother. I can’t tell you whether it’s better or not this way lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A True Kaniggit Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 On 10/9/2018 at 1:34 PM, Buckwheat said: It actually makes me sad. I am 26, going to turn 27 in a few months, and I don't want to think my brain has stopped developing - I want to develop myself further! Oh, to be young again..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erik of Hazelfield Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Theda and Liffguard: thanks (and hugs!). I’ll try to keep up the dating. If I start setting goals like “I want to lose 15 pounds before dating again” it probably won’t happen ever. I really don’t want to end up in the eternal comfort zone that singleness is, and it feels so easy to do just that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 The age conversation is interesting, since my current interest is 23 (I'm 35). We have an awful lot in common, but I'm making a point of taking it slowly. (One massive advantage I have - I look significantly younger than I am, which translates into less immediate stigma from third parties). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liffguard Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 21 hours ago, Erik of Hazelfield said: I really don’t want to end up in the eternal comfort zone that singleness is, and it feels so easy to do just that. Yeah I get this so much. Being single is just so easy. Often lonely. Often depressing. But easy. I spent my entire twenties putting off dating and convincing myself it wasn't worth the effort, and now it feels like I'm playing catch-up. And after every set-back, every rejection, I have to actively fight the temptation to give up and fall back into the same old patterns. Definitely not saying you have to date. If you genuinely don't want to right now then fair enough. But I do think it's probably worth pushing through the feelings of frustration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datepalm Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 Hats. Why do so many guys wear hats in dating app pics? I find them inherently unappealing and it immediately reduces the pool. Are hats men's only legitimate sartorial form of self expression or something? Is so, why are they overwhelmingly generic and ugly hats? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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