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larrytheimp

Dating - I love the way you swipe

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Oof 19 seems suuuuper young. I'm not big on arbitrary rules about age but at 19 you're barely an adult vs at 28 when you've had literally a decade of adult experience. That said, when I was 18/19, I hooked up with several guys around 26-28 and I don't feel bad about that having happened or like I was taken advantage of.

I booked tickets today to go to Australia for Christmas with my boyfriend. I'm both REALLY excited and a bit nervous. Meeting his whole family, plus staying with them for over 2 weeks, including for a major holiday, is a little nervewracking. But mostly excited. :D 

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My girlfriends 22 and I'm about to turn 30. Depends on the people involved, she's more mature than I am. I did feel like a bit of a creep at the start (she was 20) but meh it's worked out fine.

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Depends how mature a 19 year old she is, and how immature you are I guess. I don’t go by hard and fast rules re: age (besides the obvious legal rule, duh) because I’ve known 18 year olds waaaay more emotionally mature than some 30+ year olds, it all depends on the specific person.

Edited by HelenaExMachina

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I am VERY bias as my first and only relationship was with a 27/28 year old bloke when I was 18/19 and he 100% wasn’t v nice and it was a prett bad idea. I wouldn’t care about age gaps that much now because I’m 24 but 18/19 is still super young - but I guess it’s arbitrary to just suddenly not be as creeped out as someone turns 20. I dunno - I think if you keep in mind her age and what that means it could be OK but honestly I’m personally not comfortable with 18 y/o’s and guys in their late 20s but I know that’s a personal thing

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14 hours ago, Starkess said:

I booked tickets today to go to Australia for Christmas with my boyfriend. I'm both REALLY excited and a bit nervous. Meeting his whole family, plus staying with them for over 2 weeks, including for a major holiday, is a little nervewracking. But mostly excited. :D 

I spent a few weeks with a girl in Australia over the Christmas holidays once.  Super awkward xmas day with her work friend's family.  So odd having a hot weather xmas too.  I recommend bringing them kitschy American gifts, since they gave me kitschy Aussie gifts and it hadn't even occurred to me to exchange presents.  I thought it was just dinner.  :dunno:

What part of Australia are you going?  I took a bus tour between Sydney and Adelaide -- I think it was 3 or 4 days -- along the south coast.

My favourite Aussie saying I still use today: "No worries."   Use that instead of "no problem".  Watch out for the drop bears.

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The age discussion is timely. I've been chatting recently with someone a fair bit younger than myself, and I'm definitely interested but hesitant. I'm 31, she's 21 (and frankly looks younger than that). Part of me wants to just say fuck it, we're both adults, life is short etc. and just go for it. Ten year age gaps are hardly unprecedented. Hell, that's the difference in my parents' ages. But there's also a big part of me that's uncomfortable with it. She's still in uni - in a postgrad program, but still - whereas I've been out of education and independent for a decade. Just very different reference points and life stages. I really don't know.

In other news, I did have a Tinder date at a local board game cafe the other day that went pretty well. It wasn't love at first sight or anything, but she was funny and awkward in an endearing way, and I had fun. So we're meeting again for dinner tomorrow evening. No idea where I see this heading yet, guess we'll just see where things go.

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1 hour ago, Theda Baratheon said:

I am VERY bias as my first and only relationship was with a 27/28 year old bloke when I was 18/19 and he 100% wasn’t v nice and it was a prett bad idea. I wouldn’t care about age gaps that much now because I’m 24 but 18/19 is still super young - but I guess it’s arbitrary to just suddenly not be as creeped out as someone turns 20. I dunno - I think if you keep in mind her age and what that means it could be OK but honestly I’m personally not comfortable with 18 y/o’s and guys in their late 20s but I know that’s a personal thing

I am a little uncomfortable with it, but tbh I also really wanna do it :unsure: I feel like that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry's penis and his brain are playing chess with each other.

She strikes me as really mature, but that could be me rationalizing. I feel like we also do kind of have a connection. She survived the same type of cancer that killed my brother, and we had kind of am intense first conversation about that. I also know that I could never seriously date a teenager.

Edited by Let's Get Kraken

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11 hours ago, SpaceChampion said:

I spent a few weeks with a girl in Australia over the Christmas holidays once.  Super awkward xmas day with her work friend's family.  So odd having a hot weather xmas too.  I recommend bringing them kitschy American gifts, since they gave me kitschy Aussie gifts and it hadn't even occurred to me to exchange presents.  I thought it was just dinner.  :dunno:

What part of Australia are you going?  I took a bus tour between Sydney and Adelaide -- I think it was 3 or 4 days -- along the south coast.

My favourite Aussie saying I still use today: "No worries."   Use that instead of "no problem".  Watch out for the drop bears.

I'm so excited for a hot weather Christmas, I am not a winter person at all!! Good point about some kitschy USA stuff, I'll make sure to bring something along.

We're going to Sydney mostly, but may also go to Perth, where his mom live (or she may come to Sydney to visit instead). I have always been extremely arachnophobic so I'm legit worried about the crazy Australian spiders. I do know that drop bears aren't real at least! :lol: 

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I put the date off to give me a little more time to think. Internally I'm still here: 

On a different note, I am so enjoying just dating for fun and not fixating on all the heavy stuff I had with the ex. Last time I was single I was a teenager, and that was a great big bucket of not fun lol. I am really loving being on my own, having my stuff stuff where I want it, not having to check in with anybody to make plans, etc. I'm also coming off of a 120 lb weight loss streak, and I honestly don't know if I've ever felt this confident in my life. Ditto happiness with my social life.

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This weekend was a prime example of why I always say to shoot your shot, even if you think it will miss.

I got into a random conversation on Facebook with a beautiful woman I worked on a campaign with a few years back. We were just trash talking each other over college football, and she mentioned she’d be in town in a few weeks and told me she rather talk to me face to face than over the internet. I blurted out that I had a big crush on her back when we worked together and she said the same, but she was in a messed up relationship at the time (that I was aware of).

Anyways, we spent all weekend talking to one another and I think I’ve got a hot date soon……

*fingers crossed*

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Oh wow.  Years later this thread is still going, nice to see it.

A friend of mine told me people aren't mentally fully developed until the age of 25, so as long as they're 25, it's fine.  I think age doesn't matter so much depending on the person, but also think there are plenty of people over the age of 25 who don't seem very well mentally developed lol

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3 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Oh wow.  Years later this thread is still going, nice to see it.

A friend of mine told me people aren't mentally fully developed until the age of 25, so as long as they're 25, it's fine.  I think age doesn't matter so much depending on the person, but also think there are plenty of people over the age of 25 who don't seem very well mentally developed lol

That makes sense ahah I’m 24 - maybe I’ll actually become a well adjusted and responsible adult this time next year :P 

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Perhaps I spoke too soon. Was kind of foolish to get my hopes up.

16 hours ago, Mandy said:

Oh wow.  Years later this thread is still going, nice to see it.

A friend of mine told me people aren't mentally fully developed until the age of 25, so as long as they're 25, it's fine.  I think age doesn't matter so much depending on the person, but also think there are plenty of people over the age of 25 who don't seem very well mentally developed lol

That’s because the part of your brain that governs decision making and risk manage is the last to develop, and yeah, your mid-twenties is when that happens, though of course it varies from person to person.

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It actually makes me sad. I am 26, going to turn 27 in a few months, and I don't want to think my brain has stopped developing - I want to develop myself further!

Or maybe I am just weird. :leaving:

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7 hours ago, SpaceForce Tywin et al. said:

Perhaps I spoke too soon. Was kind of foolish to get my hopes up.

That’s because the part of your brain that governs decision making and risk manage is the last to develop, and yeah, your mid-twenties is when that happens, though of course it varies from person to person.

Oh, I still haven't figured out that part at 35 so I'm pretty sure brains develop for much longer than stated.

Edited by larrytheimp
ETA:. Although I may have just been given a defective one, am currently in talks with my lawyer re: lemon brain laws in my jurisdiction

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Two days ago I chatted with two different girls on Tinder. One seems super cute and a very careful person, asking me a lot of questions and having a very detailed description on her profile what she wants from a date (we have a lot of common interests). The other girl seems more relaxed, comes from Poland but speaks six or seven languages and likes adventures and sailing, which is a big plus because it’s my passion too. I think both would be interesting to meet on a date, and I should probably try to set that up.

My problem is that I’m having sort of a bad mood period right now. I don’t know why, but I’m struggling with finding the energy to go to the gym, I’m not getting much done at work, I’m tired and unfocused all the time and I just generally feel unworthy of dating. Like, why should someone else like me when I don’t even like myself? 

Anyone else who has any experience with this? Is it better to stay off dating until you’ve regained your confidence or is that just a bad idea that leads to more loneliness?

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3 hours ago, Buckwheat said:

It actually makes me sad. I am 26, going to turn 27 in a few months, and I don't want to think my brain has stopped developing - I want to develop myself further!

Or maybe I am just weird. :leaving:

Not sure about brain as an organ and certain mental functions, but it's a fact that mind can be developed at any age. Those who think otherwise are the ones too lazy to develop further. Both things are different, consider brain as the basis of a cake. It's up to you how you decorate it later.

(.....Or maybe I say this because I turned 31 and I just want to convince myself  I can still develop further :P .....)

No matter what, attitude is what counts.

There are also upper-bounds in regards to other physical attributes such as strength and velocity IIRC. I thought about them lately.  I'm fitter now than when I theoretically should have been better if I had been practising serious sport. So I said to myself, why compare if you are better now?

And also, if there are seniors more fit than I (even if maybe they were fitter at younger ages, though not necessarily) and anyone can work on that, with more easiness you can develop your mental capabilities. 

Edited by Meera of Tarth

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