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honeyed chicken

Outrageous Lies About the Previous Poster, #25: Only the Biggest, Juiciest WHOPPERS!

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Raisin Bran made a  big scene at his favorite restaurant last night. He dropped a raisin in his soup and claimed it was booger - then changed the story and said it was a fly. He was trying to finagle a free meal, but the ploy back fired when the cook came to his table, fished the offending bit out of the soup and bit into it. Whoops! Bran is now banned from that establishment for life.

Edited by honeyed chicken

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Honeyed chicken has a strange (and somewhat unhealthy) aversion to rabbits.  He thinks they are they embodiment of the devil.

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chick has decided that satanically roasted bunny is best served with a honey bourbon sauce and a side of candied carrots...

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Honeyed chicken likes to walk Gangnam style whenever he exits a room.  

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Jez Bell once blasted "Dancing Queen" by Abba out of her apartment window for 3 hours straight.

Edited by Raisin' Bran
bad spelling

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8 minutes ago, Raisin' Bran said:

Jez Bell once blaster "Dancing Queen" by Abba out of her apartment window for 3 hours straight.

That's actually true, but only on Tuesdays

Raisin Bran burps bubbles.  His doctor has advised to cut down on soap in his diet.

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Where most people like fuzzy shoes for wearing with their pj's - bunny slippers, for example - Jez wears Darth Vader booties. They make menacing sounds as she walks to scare away any boogeymen that may be hiding under the bed.

 

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Honeyed chicken once spent a summer in a chromaticity camp.  He now describes the weather by colour, but he sometimes embellishes with hints of texture, on account of being a rebel without a cause.

Today's weather: Mauve with speckles.

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Jez is totally disgusted with the state of government, so she's thrown her hat in the ring. She's making a strong bid to be her town's first progressive dog catcher.

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as a dawg in Jez's town I can testify that Chick knows first hand what kind of dog catcher she will be since he spent a couple of very hot and steamy nights trying to get her choke rope off of his neck...luckily the rope was made of edible g-strings...

:smoking:

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See, Sniffer is totally part of the FAKE NEWS media.

What actually happened is that HC was a bit wound up over Rocksniffer stealing some of his embryos.  HC had to be restrained for Rocksniffer's own safety. 

Meanwhile, Sniffer was off pooching the eggs.

 

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Sniffer has compromising pics of Jez gardening in Ralph Lauren leisure wear. If her garden club ever found out . . . so once a week she makes him breakfast to keep him quiet.

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Honeyed Chicken has been lobbying Mars, Inc. to introduce pink M&Ms.  (He always found the red ones a bit too racy)

His plan worked, sort of.  He got the wrong Mars, Inc.  Pink M&Ms are now widely available on the red planet.

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((Nothing wrong with pink M&Ms - or even "mauve with speckles" ;)))

Last night Jez was busy studying for her Wicca level 14 exam when a knock came at the door. Pizza delivery! Lots of extras: toad warts and chicken gizzards among them - but they forgot the eye of newt, darn it!!!

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