honeyed chicken Posted September 2, 2018 Share Posted September 2, 2018 Raisin Bran made a big scene at his favorite restaurant last night. He dropped a raisin in his soup and claimed it was booger - then changed the story and said it was a fly. He was trying to finagle a free meal, but the ploy back fired when the cook came to his table, fished the offending bit out of the soup and bit into it. Whoops! Bran is now banned from that establishment for life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted September 2, 2018 Share Posted September 2, 2018 Honeyed chicken has a strange (and somewhat unhealthy) aversion to rabbits. He thinks they are they embodiment of the devil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted September 3, 2018 Author Share Posted September 3, 2018 Jez raises rabbits for satanic rituals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocksniffer Posted September 4, 2018 Share Posted September 4, 2018 chick has decided that satanically roasted bunny is best served with a honey bourbon sauce and a side of candied carrots... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted September 4, 2018 Author Share Posted September 4, 2018 Sniffer runs a bistro in Asheville that only serves rabbit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted September 4, 2018 Share Posted September 4, 2018 Honeyed chicken loves classical music... all I ever hear is "Bach, Bach, Bach!". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted September 4, 2018 Author Share Posted September 4, 2018 Jez likes to sing classical arias and run them through autotune. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted September 4, 2018 Share Posted September 4, 2018 Honeyed chicken likes to walk Gangnam style whenever he exits a room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raisin' Bran Posted September 4, 2018 Share Posted September 4, 2018 Jez Bell once blasted "Dancing Queen" by Abba out of her apartment window for 3 hours straight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted September 4, 2018 Share Posted September 4, 2018 8 minutes ago, Raisin' Bran said: Jez Bell once blaster "Dancing Queen" by Abba out of her apartment window for 3 hours straight. That's actually true, but only on Tuesdays Raisin Bran burps bubbles. His doctor has advised to cut down on soap in his diet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted September 4, 2018 Author Share Posted September 4, 2018 Jez secretly craves a vampire bf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted September 5, 2018 Share Posted September 5, 2018 I seriously think Honeyed Chicken has been reading my diary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted September 6, 2018 Author Share Posted September 6, 2018 Where most people like fuzzy shoes for wearing with their pj's - bunny slippers, for example - Jez wears Darth Vader booties. They make menacing sounds as she walks to scare away any boogeymen that may be hiding under the bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted September 6, 2018 Share Posted September 6, 2018 Honeyed chicken once spent a summer in a chromaticity camp. He now describes the weather by colour, but he sometimes embellishes with hints of texture, on account of being a rebel without a cause. Today's weather: Mauve with speckles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted September 6, 2018 Author Share Posted September 6, 2018 Jez is totally disgusted with the state of government, so she's thrown her hat in the ring. She's making a strong bid to be her town's first progressive dog catcher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocksniffer Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 as a dawg in Jez's town I can testify that Chick knows first hand what kind of dog catcher she will be since he spent a couple of very hot and steamy nights trying to get her choke rope off of his neck...luckily the rope was made of edible g-strings... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 See, Sniffer is totally part of the FAKE NEWS media. What actually happened is that HC was a bit wound up over Rocksniffer stealing some of his embryos. HC had to be restrained for Rocksniffer's own safety. Meanwhile, Sniffer was off pooching the eggs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted September 7, 2018 Author Share Posted September 7, 2018 Sniffer has compromising pics of Jez gardening in Ralph Lauren leisure wear. If her garden club ever found out . . . so once a week she makes him breakfast to keep him quiet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 Honeyed Chicken has been lobbying Mars, Inc. to introduce pink M&Ms. (He always found the red ones a bit too racy) His plan worked, sort of. He got the wrong Mars, Inc. Pink M&Ms are now widely available on the red planet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted September 7, 2018 Author Share Posted September 7, 2018 ((Nothing wrong with pink M&Ms - or even "mauve with speckles" )) Last night Jez was busy studying for her Wicca level 14 exam when a knock came at the door. Pizza delivery! Lots of extras: toad warts and chicken gizzards among them - but they forgot the eye of newt, darn it!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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