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Outrageous Lies About the Previous Poster, #25: Only the Biggest, Juiciest WHOPPERS!


honeyed chicken

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Honeyed Chicken is an entrepreneur who has designed several cutting edge products, such as knives, box cutters, and those little blades Canadians use to open their bags of milk.

However, the product that really put him on the map is VegetabeefTM .  It's ground meat (or a close approximation) shaped and coloured to look like veggies but taste like hot dogs.  It was marketed as a way to get kids to eat their vegetables.

He was eventually sued for false advertising and now he spends his time advocating for other countries to switch to milk in a bag.  He claims it's to reduce packaging waste, but it's actually to sell more of his milk-bag blades

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KoA is a very busy person, but he's also super-organized.  He has lots of time saving tips.  For example, he puts toothpaste in his breakfast burrito.  This allows him not to skip the most important meal of the day, while staying minty fresh. 

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18 hours ago, Knight of Ashes said:

HC has recurring nightmares of being covered in honey while tied to a post as an army of army ants approaches.

"But hey", said Chicken looking at the bright side, "it's better than the one where I'm mud-wrestling with Steve Bannon and he keeps rubbing his willy on my face!"

Steve Bannon?!! And just when I was starting to forget that tousled, pox ridden face.

KoA has tried everything he can think of to forge a rising political career in Washington, but the closest he can get to even a staffer position is emptying waste baskets and looking for hidden secrets in the trash.

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Honeyed chicken has developed a product for the grassroots movement.  He thought a lot about it and came up with the Grass Flip Flop.  A flip flop with a layer of grass to cushion your feet and give the impression of a barefoot walk in the park.  The product was immensely successful, despite the fact the he completely misunderstood what "grassroots movement" actually meant. 

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