Joy Hill Posted November 4, 2018 Share Posted November 4, 2018 honeyed chicken had his first erection when he watched Sailormoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted November 5, 2018 Author Share Posted November 5, 2018 For many people, iced coffee is a summer drink. Not so for Joy. She drinks hot coffee when it's hot outside, and iced coffee in January when it's frigid. In the shoulder seasons? Then she likes it tepid. She may be the only person on earth who walks into Starbucks and orders a hot coffee, but "add three ice cubes, please." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raisin' Bran Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 When HC first cracked his copy of A Game of Thrones, he thought it was somehow about a championship game of Musical Chairs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 3 hours ago, Raisin' Bran said: When HC first cracked his copy of A Game of Thrones, he thought it was somehow about a championship game of Musical Chairs. I would totally play that game. RB is actually made of raisins. He's squishy in the middle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 It was when she just finished drinking jugfuls of coffee, beer, and watermelon, that Jez realized that she lost the key to the chastity belt she was wearing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joy Hill Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 Knight of Ashes hates pandas. He thinks they’re useless, clumsy, fat animals who only eat bamboo and reproduce only once a year, and he suspects that they’re evil. He opened I hate pandas club, of which he is the sole member. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted November 6, 2018 Author Share Posted November 6, 2018 During her brief ill-fated marriage to Bill Nighy, the actor he would lose his bearing in amorous moments and call her, "CAPTAIN JACK SPARRA!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 HC has founded a bizarre honeyed-chicken-worshipping cult. No one in his house may ever leave it, and they must all prostrate themselves on the floor before a plateful of chicken dipped in honey, and cry out "ALL GLORY UNTO THE SACRED HONEYED GALINACEOUS ONE!!!!!!" Any who seem to lack conviction in yelling this prayer are hit on the head with said chicken. Stay away! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 The Count is bitter 'cause he didn't get picked to wear the Victoria's Secret Fantasy Bra this year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted November 7, 2018 Author Share Posted November 7, 2018 8 hours ago, Knight of Ashes said: The Count is bitter 'cause he didn't get picked to wear the Victoria's Secret Fantasy Bra this year. Hey, I'd totally wear that thing . . . NOT! It can now be announced (since the election is over) that KoA has been named by President Trump the official White House toilet paper roll changer. It is a prestigious office as the last two holders (Paul Ryan and John Boehner) went on to become Speakers of the House of Representatives Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joy Hill Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 Honeyed chicken is good friends with Trump’s personal hairdresser, and knows a secret about Trump’s hair that could get him killed if he were to reveal it, so he keeps it to himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 Joy Hill is ... well, I can't say the President's hairdresser, as that would be a lie. Hairmaker would be more accurate. She uses papier mache, and the result is almost realistic! She paints it, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted November 11, 2018 Author Share Posted November 11, 2018 When night falls Count Balerion goes to work as a watchman at the local bank. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 Chicken has reluctantly allowed Jeff Sessions to crash in his basement until Jeffy-poo finds a new job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted November 11, 2018 Share Posted November 11, 2018 KoA is Matthew Whitaker's personal trainer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 Jez B is working on a video where she proves it wasn't the Russians who interfered in the 2016 election, but Valyria, with its infamous hacker dragons. Seems reasonable. The Internet certainly does have a lot of hot air. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 I tried, I did. But alas, it was not the dragons of Valyria, but the Count of Balerion. There was a vague dragon connection, but ultimately the truth was uncovered. Count Balerion had created a secret underground network that promised users that they were mining for bitcoin, when in fact they were helping to count all the votes. Their interference could have saved democracy. They were unsuccessful in their mission. They were foiled by tainted gummy bears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 Jez's girls night out with Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Kellyanne Conway ended with Jez getting so blasted that she had Sarah's face tattooed on her left buttcheek and Kellyanne 's on the right one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted November 13, 2018 Author Share Posted November 13, 2018 Never one to lie, when Ivana Trump asked KoA if her ex wasn't, "the world's biggest poopyhead, Dahling?" he had to agree. And that would have been fine if The Donald and his bodyguards hadn't been standing behind KoA at the time. Days later KoA was still trying to wash the smell of all that suntan lotion out of his hair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 Honeyed chicken sucks eggs. For real. He bedazzles the empty shells and tries to pass them off as Faberge Eggs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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