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Outrageous Lies About the Previous Poster, #25: Only the Biggest, Juiciest WHOPPERS!


honeyed chicken

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Tywin et al. have been dressing up as Trump (I believe they now call it "cosplaying"), sneaking into the White House, and waiting to see how long it takes them to get caught and thrown out. The trouble is, since they're sane [that bit isn't a lie!], they never last long before being found out. SAD.

The good news is that while in prison for impersonating the president, they have had time to work on their magnum opus, HANDSTANDING FOR DUMMIES.

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Ramsay B has the world's largest collection of Fisher Price people in the world. He spends hours each day peeling them -- or, as he likes to put it, "flaying" them. Fisher Price are just happy to have the sales; they aren't fussed as to what he actually does w/ them -- up to and including rolling them downstairs, running after them (which he calls "hunting"), and flaying.

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KOA has 23 daughters and insisted on naming them all Melania. His wife wanted to make at least one or two Plectrud or Gruoch(*), but he wouldn't hear of it. He's been diagnosed with a bad case of melanomania.

(*)[Actual names! Gruoch is better known as Lady Macbeth.]

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Knight of Ashes is Cinderella. She used to sleep in the ashes of the hearth thus her mother-in-law gave her the nickname "Cinderella". Fed up with this step-family of morons, she slain everybody with the old rusted sword hanged above the hearth, and asked the fairy godmother to turn her into a badass guy. Now he is the most powerfull warrior of Dinseyworld (special moves: "the Broom of Hell", "the Cinders of Death", and "the Pumpkin over 9000 tons").

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HC tastes really good, even his wife likes the taste. He will be served at the closing cast party after a long, slow roast on a spit.

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Shh, everyone be nice. The eyepatch Knight of Ashes wears under that hair is a from a serious accident and his eyesocket wont hold a fake eye. Be nice!

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