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honeyed chicken

Outrageous Lies About the Previous Poster, #25: Only the Biggest, Juiciest WHOPPERS!

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KOA is facing a hefty lawsuit from the orangutans. Donations would be most welcome. There's no way he's winning this one.

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CB used to work for Kampgrounds of America and now propagates rumors about lawsuits and orangutans as his revenge for never, ever being allowed in a KOA recreational area again.

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Whenever JC runs into a long word, he immediately starts using it without bothering to look up its meaning. Like that instance when he accidentally slapped himself hard on the balls , he said through gritted teeth:

"How perspicacious of me!"

 

Edited by Knight of Ashes

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KoA ritually burns Amazon packaging and smears the ashes on his forehead.  He thinks Alexa finds it sexy. 

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JB saw KoA burning an Amazon package and thought that’s what all the protests lately were about. So she started a GoFundMe to help save the company Amazon.

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JC's new book is only 1.75 on Amazon. It's entitled Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorghkhgh!, and that's also the subject of the book. Don't knock it till you've tried it!

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Count Balerion's father, Duke Balerion, famously told an idiot with a bad haircut and shitty moustache that he "might as well lead the National Socialist German Workers Party" as an offhand insult after the man fumbled an easy bar trivia question.

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Jace, wise and powerful as she is, is a fantasy football expert who fairly defeated me in the C League Championship.

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Tywin only plays fantasy football because he thinks that’s what “lads” do. He secretly keeps spreadsheets charting the box office returns of films shot in Central European countries because he really likes Hollywood but really loves the progress of social capital in former Soviet republics. He’s more complex than he lets on...

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Joey Crows just discovered something disgusting in his pocket. That's what happens when you walk your dog past my place and don't pick up after it. :)

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HC is David Boonioff's personal valet, and it's largely thanks to him that we got a season 8 at all. He's the one who turned Boonioff's drunken ramblings into a script, albeit not a very coherent one. He's especially proud of "Her Satanic Majesty". "That's deep," he says. What Boonioff actually said was "Hrstnnnnnnnckmudgescheeeeeeeeeeeeese." Now that really IS deep.

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Among the many unhealthy obsessions available to the modern global citizen, daily uptake of "news" tops the list as the worst for you. KoA is a prime example of this malady. I think we may need to perform an intervention for him.

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Honeyed chicken is a member of a commune of misfits known as the "roadkill mafia".  They are a collection of souls put together from various creatures who had suffered an untimely fate.  The community shaman collects these poor souls (donations are gladly accepted) and salvages whatever parts he can to attach to other salvaged parts.  Where else can you find a turduck or a ratcoon?

A side effect of re-animation is that the creatures, sorry, they prefer to be referred to as "roadies", is that they speak perfect English, but with a cockney accent.

 

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Although no charges were ever formally filed it is a well known fact, in the correct circles, that Jez Bell decided who the final five cylons would be in the mid-2000's reboot of Battlestar Galactica.

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As Jace's lawyer, I must say that the rumors swirling around Jace are completely untrue. She did not, let me repeat that, did not try to have sex with that Japanese squid. 

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Tywin et al. started the Dance of the Dragons by posting rude troll messages on the Targ social media site DragOn. Things like "Rhaenyra did disgusting things with a Braavosi alley-cat." (Meta-lies!)

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CB woke up from a dream where Donald Trump was sitting on his face while poop-tweeting. One would think CB woke up screaming from this nightmare like any sane person would, but he woke up languidly and spent the rest of the day with a smile on his lips.

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10 hours ago, Knight of Ashes said:

CB woke up from a dream where Donald Trump was sitting on his face while poop-tweeting. One would think CB woke up screaming from this nightmare like any sane person would, but he woke up languidly and spent the rest of the day with a smile on his lips.

You get points for "laguidly". :)

In my day (yes, youngsters, go ahead and roll your eyes at the old fart), boys built their own go carts in the back yard from bits and scraps. But in the same way the old Clinton with the Briggs and Stratton engine being pushed by a kid has been replaced by teams of hustling 30 somethings riding $10,000 zero turns mowing your suburban lawn, go carts are now big business, and souped up to the nines. The fact that a 35 y.o. KoA is out there in his $5,000 deluxe GO-GO Special (with a cup holder even), bumping elbows (and fenders) with ten year olds does not cause so much as a raised eyebrow now.

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