Count Balerion Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 HC is an invader from the Planet Bizarreros, which is a Bizarro (to continue a theme) version of Westeros, where Daenerys is a Ghiscari slaver and Sansa uses her dragons to destroy lemon cakes and Wun Wun is brilliantly witty and does political stuff in KL, while mostly talks in monosyllables. Oh, and the Others are the goodguys and Ned is a ruthless and brutal sellsword and all 77 courses at the Mauve Wedding were a bowl o' brown. His mission? To take over our planet and make it over along the model of his home world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Count Balerion has the ability to see all worlds and travel between them using the phase space model he developed. He has painstakingly mapped every possible combination of events in each world, allowing him to step into any possible timeline. It's like a virtual choose-your-own-adventure book, but bigger. So much bigger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 To this day, Jez doesn't get what's so funny when some guy calls himself the king of Fuh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted October 19, 2018 Author Share Posted October 19, 2018 KoA has always wanted to be Gene Roddenberry. It has nothing to do with Star Trek. He just loves the name. he is often observed walking around muttering, "Roddenberry", "Rod-DEN-berry", "Rod-den-BER-ry", "ROD-den-ber-ry" . . . under his breath. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 Chicken, on the other hand, will go through any lengths to hide the fact that his RL name is Smelvin Twatwaffle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted October 20, 2018 Author Share Posted October 20, 2018 16 hours ago, Knight of Ashes said: Chicken, on the other hand, will go through any lengths to hide the fact that his RL name is Smelvin Twatwaffle. As would any sane chicken. You know, KoA you make it really hard to make up lies about you when all the stuff you wrote in your autobio is so wildly fictionalized. Chapter One - wished himself into existence without a mother or father. Chapter Two - invented the light bulb before the age of eight. Invented baseball and network TV. Chapter Three - landed on the moon - well you get the idea. Hard for anyone to top those whoppers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raisin' Bran Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 HC's cousin orange chicken found out the hard way that with great taste, comes the danger of being consumed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted October 26, 2018 Author Share Posted October 26, 2018 Persistence can be a good thing. Or it can be a measure of insanity. You be the judge. Water started coming into Raisin's basement, so he put in a sump pump. That wasn't enough, so he put in more, but the sea continues to pour in. Once your seaside cottage starts to become an in the sea cottage, it might be time to leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted October 27, 2018 Share Posted October 27, 2018 Honeyed Chicken doesn't understand the point of ostriches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted October 27, 2018 Author Share Posted October 27, 2018 8 hours ago, Jez Bell said: Honeyed Chicken doesn't understand the point of ostriches. Is there a point to them? Always a contrarian, Jez runs counter to almost every gender stereotype. Hates gossip, does not shop, and sports a seaman's tattoo high on her arm that says, "MOM", but loves to read bodice rippers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted October 27, 2018 Share Posted October 27, 2018 During his most sentimental moments, Chicken would hearken back to the day when he told his first lie when he was but a chick (which was "The dog ate my homework") and he would smile fondly and marvel at the distance he's traveled since then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted October 28, 2018 Author Share Posted October 28, 2018 KoA had an uncredited guitar part in The Standell's Dirty Water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 HC keeps inviting himself over for dinner. Literally. Unfortunately, he has not yet discovered the secret to autophagy (it's a tad awkward, being one's own dinner. Logistics, and that). E for effort, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 Count Balerion has never really understood the concept of Jack-o-lanterns. Why use a pumpkin, when there are plenty of actual "Jacks" around? The correct hollowing technique provides quite a sight, once lit by a tealight candle. There has been a steep decline in the number of people naming there child Jack in Count Balerion's neighborhood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted October 30, 2018 Author Share Posted October 30, 2018 Never known as the "life of the party", Jez once sat through a whole grueling evening with a lamp shade on her head. No one noticed till the host went to shut off the light and discovered a person under there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 On 10/30/2018 at 12:54 PM, honeyed chicken said: Never known as the "life of the party", Jez once sat through a whole grueling evening with a lamp shade on her head. No one noticed till the host went to shut off the light and discovered a person under there. Umm, it's called "performance art" HC wants to build a half pipe in his backyard to practice his inline skating tricks. He looked up some DIY instructions online, which specified that the starting point is to define the desired arc. HC wrote a long dissertation on Noah, but he's still not sure how that relates to a Backside Nose Grind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 Jez's private title for The Silmarillion is "Much Ado Over Three Upjumped Christmas Lights". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 KoA is very excited for bonfire night. He's prepared marshmallows for roasting, hot cocoa for sipping, and a gunpowder plot for entertainment. It's really much better than Cards Against Humanity for breaking the ice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted November 3, 2018 Share Posted November 3, 2018 Jez Bell's world conquest plan is based upon sprinkling the Powder of Life (which most people would call baking soda) upon pez dispensors and turn them into a deadly army of dread (the Jez Pez Army, or JPA). Who knows? It just might work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted November 4, 2018 Author Share Posted November 4, 2018 Disguising Exlax bars as regular candy is tame stuff for CB. He's more likely to sprinkle Brazilian sleeping powder in your coffee before a long drive. He has not killed anyone yet - but not for lack of trying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.