Does GRRM hate heroism or avoid it? (Jon and Quentyn comparison)

[Rose of Red Lake]

I love this question OP, I think about it a lot.  Quentyn doesn't have a storyline involved with the Others, so he's heroic within the context of the story he was given. If he was sent to the Night's Watch he might even become one of Jon's more heroic brother in black. He has it in him, I think. 

It feels wrong to me that Jon gets to be the super special hero with the secret parentage who gets to tame a dragon and save the day, while Quentyn's Valyrian blood is not strong enough so he gets burned. What kind of message is that? "Blood purity is better and will help save the world?" Even if Jon is doing it for the "greater good" it still sits wrong with me because Jon needs to be greyer/darker. 

So I think to correct for this imbalance, GRRM is going to have Jon and Quentyn parallel each other. Both will go on journeys to try to persuade Dany to be allies for their respective kingdoms. Both will want the dragons. However, while Quentyn chooses to impress her by stealing a dragon, Jon will try to impress her using a different tactic: 

Quote

“Do you think Daenerys would be pleased to hear that I had bedded some whore?”
“She might be. Men may be fond of maidens, but women like a man who knows what he’s about in the bedchamber. It’s another sort of swordplay. Takes training to be good at it.”
The gibe stung. Quentyn had never felt so much a boy as when he’d stood before Daenerys Targaryen, pleading for her hand. The thought of bedding her terrified him almost as much as her dragons had. What if he could not please her? “Daenerys has a paramour,” he said defensively. “My father did not send me here to amuse the queen in the bedchamber. You know why we have come.”

I think Jon will make this choice that Gerris is suggesting - he will choose the "pleasing the Queen in the bedchamber" route to persuade her to try to be allies. And while he's doing it for a more noble goal than Quentyn, it's a darker, more manipulative Jon that we've seen before. It's also the choice Ned refused to make when Cersei tried to seduce him. He could have tried to play that game and checked Cersei using soft power. I think Jon has it in him to do that.

Like Quentyn, I also don't think Jon will escape punishment for these choices. I think Dany will turn Winterfell into Harrenhal, and Jon will probably receive a lot more burns than just his hand. 

[Darth Sidious]

One thing I want to mention about this topic.  The OP is going on the assumption that Jon Snow will come back.  Do not be too sure about that.  Quentin got burned for doing something stupid.  Jon got assassinated for doing something stupid.  Both should stay dead.  George Martin can very easily keep them dead.  That's is message to the readers that death is final.  Bringing the dead back (Beric and Catelyn) can get rather old as a plot device.