NFL 2018 V: The Packers Win With A Loss While The Cowboys Lose With A Win

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

2 minutes ago, Jace, Basilissa said:

It's about time this franchise had some luck. Can't think of a more maligned fan base. 

For real though I'm almost totally on board with the Browns being a real team, coach pending of course. Baker is just delightful, and I actually clapped at the thought of him and Lamarr Jackson playing twice a year (1st vs 32nd).

I've always hated the Browns. Always. But the Browns were loyal to the collective losing. And that is true loyalty. But the Browns had an iron will! Undeviating. Strong. Should we not hold to our beliefs as we did then? No! Stronger still to forge our own winning beliefs. Which I have now... done. 

 

You're drunk. 

[Jace, Extat]

2 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

You're drunk. 

Sober since Friday.

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

2 minutes ago, Jace, Basilissa said:

Sober since Friday.

I meant on power. 

[Jace, Extat]

10 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

I meant on power. 

So did I.

I think I'm like Bender. The longer I go without the sauce the stranger and more erratic I get.

[unJon]

5 hours ago, Jace, Basilissa said:

It's about time this franchise had some luck. Can't think of a more maligned fan base. 

For real though I'm almost totally on board with the Browns being a real team, coach pending of course. Baker is just delightful, and I actually clapped at the thought of him and Lamarr Jackson playing twice a year (1st vs 32nd).

I've always hated the Browns. Always. But the Browns were loyal to the collective losing. And that is true loyalty. But the Browns had an iron will! Undeviating. Strong. Should we not hold to our beliefs as we did then? No! Stronger still to forge our own winning beliefs. Which I have now... done. 

 

I see what you did there. 

Im rooting for Colts/Ravens AFC Championship game. 

[Nictarion]

My WC picks

Colts over Texans 

Bears over Eagles 

Ravens over Chargers

Seahawks over Cowboys

Seattle/Dallas is the hardest one for me to predict. 

 

[unJon]

47 minutes ago, Nictarion said:

My WC picks

Colts over Texans 

Bears over Eagles 

Ravens over Chargers

Seahawks over Cowboys

Seattle/Dallas is the hardest one for me to predict. 

 

These match mine and agree Sea/Boys a coin flip. I think Bears win but don’t cover 6. 

[Jace, Extat]

1 hour ago, unJon said:

I see what you did there. 

Im rooting for Colts/Ravens AFC Championship game. 

Me too, I think it'd be a fantastic game and you always have the Baltimore little brother complex to add a little spice. 

"Now introducing the Indianapolis Football Club."

1 hour ago, Nictarion said:

My WC picks

Colts over Texans 

Bears over Eagles 

Ravens over Chargers

Seahawks over Cowboys

Seattle/Dallas is the hardest one for me to predict. 

 

Colts by 4 in a game that gets close late.

Iggles come out weak in the 1st quarter but get some points on the board late 2nd and roll to a 13 point win.

Ravens by 1.

Seattle in a blowout. Call it 20.

[Maithanet]

15 hours ago, Jace, Basilissa said:

It's about time this franchise had some luck. Can't think of a more maligned fan base.

Only a Colts fan could think that the Colts are a hard luck organization. 

15 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

Brees has not been playing well as of late. Over the course of the last four games, Brees has thrown 3 TDs and 3 Ints and is averaging just over 200 yards per game. During the previous eleven games he threw for 29 TDs and 2 Ints while averaging close to 300 yards per game. 2018 was Brees' third best year for average yards per attempted pass, but it's fallen off of a cliff over the course of the last five games. It was just below 9 YPA through ten games, but it.s been just over 6.5 during the last five games.

Perhaps it's correct to ignore how he's playing at the end of the year, but I've always worried about old QB's arms late in the season, and Brees has never been associate with having a really strong arm.

He had a couple of bad games, but it feels early to me to be calling it some systematic decline.  The Dallas D was playing great vs NO.  I don't know what happened in the first Panthers game (didn't see any of it), but it isn't uncommon for formerly great defenses to show up for a strong individual performance, just like the Jags shutting out Indy a few weeks ago. 

He has a bye to rest, he'll be playing at home, and the New Orleans defense is good enough to take some pressure off.  Brees and the Saints will be fine.  I wouldn't take them vs the field in the NFC, but it's close. 

[DanteGabriel]

7 minutes ago, Maithanet said:

Only a Colts fan could think that the Colts are a hard luck organization. 

I thought she was being sarcastic, but I admit I have trouble figuring out how many layers of irony Jace is speaking through these days.

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

34 minutes ago, Maithanet said:

Only a Colts fan could think that the Colts are a hard luck organization. 

He had a couple of bad games, but it feels early to me to be calling it some systematic decline.  The Dallas D was playing great vs NO.  I don't know what happened in the first Panthers game (didn't see any of it), but it isn't uncommon for formerly great defenses to show up for a strong individual performance, just like the Jags shutting out Indy a few weeks ago. 

He has a bye to rest, he'll be playing at home, and the New Orleans defense is good enough to take some pressure off.  Brees and the Saints will be fine.  I wouldn't take them vs the field in the NFC, but it's close. 

I’m not saying it as a fact, just suggesting a possible explanation for his bad stretch. And remember, I said I still favor them as I did in the preseason. I’m just not as convinced as I was two months ago. And if Brees is struggling, they could fall to the Bears or Seahawks (I don’t trust the other three teams).

[Jace, Extat]

43 minutes ago, Maithanet said:

Only a Colts fan could think that the Colts are a hard luck organization. 

. 

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

[Maithanet]

2 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

I’m not saying it as a fact, just suggesting a possible explanation for his bad stretch. And remember, I said I still favor them as I did in the preseason. I’m just not as convinced as I was two months ago. And if Brees is struggling, they could fall to the Bears or Seahawks (I don’t trust the other three teams).

Weird that you'd pick the Seahawks, I don't think they're much threat of winning @ New Orleans at all.  In fact, I'd consider them the least likely to win the NFC of the six teams, although I do like their chances vs Dallas.  

And sure the Saints are beatable.  Very rarely is a team so good that you can say "if they play a B+ level game, they'll always win".  But the other five teams in the NFC will need to be playing their best to beat New Orleans, and even then Brees might pull a rabbit out of a hat and steal a victory. 

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

17 minutes ago, Maithanet said:

Weird that you'd pick the Seahawks, I don't think they're much threat of winning @ New Orleans at all.  In fact, I'd consider them the least likely to win the NFC of the six teams, although I do like their chances vs Dallas.  

I have faith in the Seahawks because Wilson is a top 5 QB and they can run the ball and play good enough defense. I wouldn’t favor them over the Saints by any means, but I could see them going into the Superdome, control the ball and win a close game.

Quote

And sure the Saints are beatable.  Very rarely is a team so good that you can say "if they play a B+ level game, they'll always win".  But the other five teams in the NFC will need to be playing their best to beat New Orleans, and even then Brees might pull a rabbit out of a hat and steal a victory. 

Again, I think that depends on where Brees is at. If he’s 100% and has just had a bad stretch, sure. But if he’s actually declining, I’m not so sure. The Saints run a short precision dink and dunk passing scheme, and if Brees is off, you can shut that down pretty easily, especially if you can also stop their run game.

[Jace, Extat]

Bye Bye Man time. It's about to get spooky for 20 teams that fucking sucked. Yes. Especially your favorite team. They sucked the most. 

1) The Cardinals fucking sucked. They sucked so bad that this part of the post is over.

2) James Garappolo. Who could possibly have seen that halfhearted sigh of a performance coming? Oh? Literally everyone who didn't (or couldnt) develop a priaprism from the astonishing 6 to 5 TD:INT ratio of 2017? What a disaster. Mark my words, Garappolo is out of San Francisco after 2020. And it's not necessarily his fault. I think he looks like a fine starter, but that's not what they're asking him to do. With five massively overrated games on tape this guy became what the 2nd highest paid guy in the league? He's still in the top five even after Ryan and Rodgers got their extensions. And it resulted in this average talent trying to be the superstar everyone prematurely anointed him. Go back and watch him tear his ACL. That is RGIII 101 shit right there, trying to prove his value instead of performing consistently. That's not good. You don't play QB in the NFL based off the DENNIS system. 

3) J-E-T-S SUCK! SUCK! SUCKED! Sam Darnald is either Peyton Manni--- what? Mayfield? He took that? Ok let's start hoping for the Phillip Rivers career arc here. I'm sure he's gonna be fine or whatever and something. Some good throws. NO NO! NO! Fuck him. Fuck The Jets. If he ever throws for over 25 TDs in a season I'll challenge Vladimir Lennin to a Presidential Pissing Contest. Because I'll also be President by then. Bowles was AWFUL just AWFUL. But luckily the GM compensated by drafting like a fucking moron for half a decade. Like I'm totally on board with taking the clear best player if he's THAT good. But holy fuck you're supposed to fill out the entire roster, not just the interior D-Line.

Colts have the 35th pick. Enjoy Darnold. 

4) Da Raaaidaaaz are just awful. What a clownshow. I like Mike Mayock and I fear he could point Gruden towards players who aren't awful, which is disappointing because that team sure as fuck will be.

5) I know a thing or two about working a shaft, but the Bucs have demonstrated before even hiring a coach an unparalleled ability to blow themselves. They've already mandated that Winston will be the QB1 in 2019. In the immortal words of Private William Hudson "that's great. That's fucking great. Now what the fuck are we supposed to do. We're in some real pretty shit now man!" 

I'm sure every offensive mind in America is champing at the bit to work with a degenerate sex pervert featuring the fine motor skills of an epileptic. Trouble is most of those folks aren't thinking of a black fella in Tampa. Or football. Meanwhile football coaches the world over recognize Winston for the piece of garbage he is and have no interest in that $20 million boondoggle. 

This team has a shocking amount of good players on offense and on defense. If they weren't determined to make Winston a wealthy rapist until the end of his days this could be an attractive gig. I'm pretty sure you could keep Fitzpatrick and lure Teddy both for under 12 million. But sure, go with the enabled shitheel you know the fan base hates. That'll put asses in seats.

6) Giants needed to ditch Eli 3 years ago. This team has two of the most exciting players in the league and the most interesting thing I can say is "don't you feel like an alarmist for calling OBj a cancer?" Only answer if you're a Steelers fan. 

7) Jaguars! Are 10 million over the cap next year and will save somewhere in that ballpark if they should cut Bortles. He gone! Jags will draft a QB and they better be ready to trade up cause this class don't sound great.

8) If Matt Patricia had just asked I would have told him that acting like an insufferable prick to the people who shape your public perception will negatively impact your ability to do your job. It's actually not that hard a concept. You see, Belichick became the utterly intractable curmudgeon after he was a winner. Matt Patricia is a loser with an ugly beard and 373 yards passing to Nick Foles. 

9) Buffalo is awful, they'll not be relevant for another 16 years.

10) I used to enjoy watching the Broncos. They were like my late afternoon team on account of the Colts always handling them easily. And I liked Champ Bailey and even Josh McDaniels. But in the midst of an ugly succession battle Elway has shown no ability to formulate a functioning offensive line and will deserve to get shitcanned the moment on of those Bowlen brats is granted ownership.

11) Josh McDaniels wouldn't even interview. Does that make this better or worse than the Colts job last year? We're talking about that dark pit of despair that calls itself a football team in Ohio by the way.

12) We all knew Aaron Rodgers is a prick, but stumping for Joe Philbin? That's crossing the line.

13) Miami.

14) Aaaawwwwww sheeit! Dan Quinn is taking back playcalling duties! Remember that post credits scene of Thanos grabbing the Infinity Gauntlet and saying "fine. I'll do it myself?" Well half the Falcons defense turned into ash in like week 1 so maybe it'll be better next year.

15) Adrian Peterson still beats his kid.

16) Ron Rivera needs a good backbounce year. I think he's a really good coach, but Cam needs to get healthy and the defense requires restoration. There's no player quite like Newton and the league is a better place when he isn't torquing his entire body to get the ball 5 yards downfield. Also the white guy is really good at catching screens and sweeps out of the backfield.

17) The Browns man! THE BROWNS! Easily the most desirable job in the league. I really don't have anything bad to say about them until the fuck up the coaching hire.

18) Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Kurt Cousins, ladies and gentlemen. Exactly like the music he listens too, he will not be taking you higher.

19) The Titans are a team that did a lot of things well but nothing good. This roster is like 3 really standout players at maybe any position from being pretty great. I like Vrabel, I'll always forgive aggression before stagnation.

20) HAHAHAHAHAHA! A HA! HAHA! HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FUCK YOU PITTSBURG! DROWN IN YOUR 'got six?' SHIRTS AS THE ROTTEN STRUCTURE CRUMBLES. Finally years of fucking stupid made up franchise rules have definitively crippled these yellow and black dickbags. This team has NO cap room besides the 14 million they carry over from Le'Veon Bell never signing. Brown has a cap charge of 22 million next year and a dead hit of 21 million if he's not on the team. That means he's staying on the team. And no, there's no getting away from that money owed. That's all signing bonus money that was pushed into future cap years. They can designate him a post June 1 cut to take 7 million this year and 14 next, but that removes any opportunity to get value in trade. And who would trade for that fucking asshole? I was reading an article from Bucky Brooks that just savaged him. Absolutely savaged the guy. But then he lists teams he thinks might trade what he implies would be a 1st round pick for the guy. 

Bucky Brooks knows a helluva lot more about football than me, but I would be utterly floored if any team gave up more than a 4th or 5th rounder for a 31 year old proven selfish assbag who literally walked out on his team before a must win game. He threw in a few teams that just need star power, but do you really think Maithanet and Jaime L are going to reup those season tickets just because Antonio Brown quit on his last team and now he might quit on yours?

The Steelers are beaten. And shall never rise again.

[Rhom]

50 minutes ago, Jace, Basilissa said:

Bye Bye Man time. It's about to get spooky for 20 teams that fucking sucked. Yes. Especially your favorite team. They sucked the most. 

1) The Cardinals fucking sucked. They sucked so bad that this part of the post is over.

2) James Garappolo. Who could possibly have seen that halfhearted sigh of a performance coming? Oh? Literally everyone who didn't (or couldnt) develop a priaprism from the astonishing 6 to 5 TD:INT ratio of 2017? What a disaster. Mark my words, Garappolo is out of San Francisco after 2020. And it's not necessarily his fault. I think he looks like a fine starter, but that's not what they're asking him to do. With five massively overrated games on tape this guy became what the 2nd highest paid guy in the league? He's still in the top five even after Ryan and Rodgers got their extensions. And it resulted in this average talent trying to be the superstar everyone prematurely anointed him. Go back and watch him tear his ACL. That is RGIII 101 shit right there, trying to prove his value instead of performing consistently. That's not good. You don't play QB in the NFL based off the DENNIS system. 

3) J-E-T-S SUCK! SUCK! SUCKED! Sam Darnald is either Peyton Manni--- what? Mayfield? He took that? Ok let's start hoping for the Phillip Rivers career arc here. I'm sure he's gonna be fine or whatever and something. Some good throws. NO NO! NO! Fuck him. Fuck The Jets. If he ever throws for over 25 TDs in a season I'll challenge Vladimir Lennin to a Presidential Pissing Contest. Because I'll also be President by then. Bowles was AWFUL just AWFUL. But luckily the GM compensated by drafting like a fucking moron for half a decade. Like I'm totally on board with taking the clear best player if he's THAT good. But holy fuck you're supposed to fill out the entire roster, not just the interior D-Line.

Colts have the 35th pick. Enjoy Darnold. 

4) Da Raaaidaaaz are just awful. What a clownshow. I like Mike Mayock and I fear he could point Gruden towards players who aren't awful, which is disappointing because that team sure as fuck will be.

5) I know a thing or two about working a shaft, but the Bucs have demonstrated before even hiring a coach an unparalleled ability to blow themselves. They've already mandated that Winston will be the QB1 in 2019. In the immortal words of Private William Hudson "that's great. That's fucking great. Now what the fuck are we supposed to do. We're in some real pretty shit now man!" 

I'm sure every offensive mind in America is champing at the bit to work with a degenerate sex pervert featuring the fine motor skills of an epileptic. Trouble is most of those folks aren't thinking of a black fella in Tampa. Or football. Meanwhile football coaches the world over recognize Winston for the piece of garbage he is and have no interest in that $20 million boondoggle. 

This team has a shocking amount of good players on offense and on defense. If they weren't determined to make Winston a wealthy rapist until the end of his days this could be an attractive gig. I'm pretty sure you could keep Fitzpatrick and lure Teddy both for under 12 million. But sure, go with the enabled shitheel you know the fan base hates. That'll put asses in seats.

6) Giants needed to ditch Eli 3 years ago. This team has two of the most exciting players in the league and the most interesting thing I can say is "don't you feel like an alarmist for calling OBj a cancer?" Only answer if you're a Steelers fan. 

7) Jaguars! Are 10 million over the cap next year and will save somewhere in that ballpark if they should cut Bortles. He gone! Jags will draft a QB and they better be ready to trade up cause this class don't sound great.

8) If Matt Patricia had just asked I would have told him that acting like an insufferable prick to the people who shape your public perception will negatively impact your ability to do your job. It's actually not that hard a concept. You see, Belichick became the utterly intractable curmudgeon after he was a winner. Matt Patricia is a loser with an ugly beard and 373 yards passing to Nick Foles. 

9) Buffalo is awful, they'll not be relevant for another 16 years.

10) I used to enjoy watching the Broncos. They were like my late afternoon team on account of the Colts always handling them easily. And I liked Champ Bailey and even Josh McDaniels. But in the midst of an ugly succession battle Elway has shown no ability to formulate a functioning offensive line and will deserve to get shitcanned the moment on of those Bowlen brats is granted ownership.

11) Josh McDaniels wouldn't even interview. Does that make this better or worse than the Colts job last year? We're talking about that dark pit of despair that calls itself a football team in Ohio by the way.

12) We all knew Aaron Rodgers is a prick, but stumping for Joe Philbin? That's crossing the line.

13) Miami.

14) Aaaawwwwww sheeit! Dan Quinn is taking back playcalling duties! Remember that post credits scene of Thanos grabbing the Infinity Gauntlet and saying "fine. I'll do it myself?" Well half the Falcons defense turned into ash in like week 1 so maybe it'll be better next year.

15) Adrian Peterson still beats his kid.

16) Ron Rivera needs a good backbounce year. I think he's a really good coach, but Cam needs to get healthy and the defense requires restoration. There's no player quite like Newton and the league is a better place when he isn't torquing his entire body to get the ball 5 yards downfield. Also the white guy is really good at catching screens and sweeps out of the backfield.

17) The Browns man! THE BROWNS! Easily the most desirable job in the league. I really don't have anything bad to say about them until the fuck up the coaching hire.

18) Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Kurt Cousins, ladies and gentlemen. Exactly like the music he listens too, he will not be taking you higher.

19) The Titans are a team that did a lot of things well but nothing good. This roster is like 3 really standout players at maybe any position from being pretty great. I like Vrabel, I'll always forgive aggression before stagnation.

20) HAHAHAHAHAHA! A HA! HAHA! HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FUCK YOU PITTSBURG! DROWN IN YOUR 'got six?' SHIRTS AS THE ROTTEN STRUCTURE CRUMBLES. Finally years of fucking stupid made up franchise rules have definitively crippled these yellow and black dickbags. This team has NO cap room besides the 14 million they carry over from Le'Veon Bell never signing. Brown has a cap charge of 22 million next year and a dead hit of 21 million if he's not on the team. That means he's staying on the team. And no, there's no getting away from that money owed. That's all signing bonus money that was pushed into future cap years. They can designate him a post June 1 cut to take 7 million this year and 14 next, but that removes any opportunity to get value in trade. And who would trade for that fucking asshole? I was reading an article from Bucky Brooks that just savaged him. Absolutely savaged the guy. But then he lists teams he thinks might trade what he implies would be a 1st round pick for the guy. 

Bucky Brooks knows a helluva lot more about football than me, but I would be utterly floored if any team gave up more than a 4th or 5th rounder for a 31 year old proven selfish assbag who literally walked out on his team before a must win game. He threw in a few teams that just need star power, but do you really think Maithanet and Jaime L are going to reup those season tickets just because Antonio Brown quit on his last team and now he might quit on yours?

The Steelers are beaten. And shall never rise again.

I read all that and my eyes glazed over after the “work a shaft” line.

10/10 rant.  Would read again.

[briantw]

5 hours ago, Jace, Basilissa said:

11) Josh McDaniels wouldn't even interview. Does that make this better or worse than the Colts job last year? We're talking about that dark pit of despair that calls itself a football team in Ohio by the way.

For once someone said this and wasn't talking about the Browns.  What a time to be alive.

[KingintheNorth4]

35 passing yards for the Texans. Oof. 

[ljkeane]

So, this hasn’t gone great for the Texans then.

Also what’s going on with ESPN’s graphics? Is it always like this or did someone get overexcited for the playoffs?

[Nictarion]

9 hours ago, briantw said:

For once someone said this and wasn't talking about the Browns.  What a time to be alive.

Still think we have a better roster than you guys overall. Mayfield gives you a slight advantage, but we have better WR’s (Green & Boyd>Landry and Callaway ), a better RB (Mixon>Chubb), Geno Atkins and Myles Garrett are probably a wash as far as pash rushers go. You guys have a better OL by far, but I like our secondary better. Our LB’s suck but I sincerely hope we address that this draft. Might come down to who lands the better HC...