Seams Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 What if characters such as Sansa, Dolorous Edd or Hot Pie had swords? What would they name their weapons? My nominations: Sansa - Sheet Slitter or Lemon-eater. Dolorous Edd - Hardboiled. (He could use it to stir the cauldron of eggs he boils in spiced wine one morning.) Hot Pie - Dough boy? Burnt Toast? Tartmaker? What are your suggestions for named, imaginary swords and the characters who would wield them? Or the weapons could be warhammers, trebuchets, frog spears, poisons or other nameable weapons appropriate to the character. Here are some (apparently) swordless characters you might consider: Weese Olenna Craster Lollys Septon Chayle Lady Dustin Fat Walda Dontos Hollard Shae Alayaya Tysha Myrcella Cersei Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lollygag Posted December 9, 2018 Share Posted December 9, 2018 Well I'm pretty awful at naming swords or anything really, but I have some general ideas. Sansa - Like Lemon-eater! Dolorous Edd - something to do with the Rat Cook. He's always about eating and even has some cannibalism jokes in there. ADWD Jon IV: Careful of the rats, my lord." Dolorous Edd led Jon down the steps, a lantern in one hand. "They make an awful squeal if you step on them. My mother used to make a similar sound when I was a boy. She must have had some rat in her, now that I think of it. Brown hair, beady little eyes, liked cheese. Might be she had a tail too, I never looked to see." Hot Pie - I think it's significant that he used pastry to give Arya a direwolf. When making pies, a dough blender or a dough cutter are used. As are rolling pins. Olenna - something to do with her sharp tongue. Lollys - folks think her a dull blade, but she may be sharper than some expect. Shae - I think she had a hand in poisoning Joff via Tywin and then in turn was the one who poisoned Tywin with the stuff Tyrion used to give Cersei diarrhea. The other Lannisters were stopping Tyrion from marrying Shae and she had no desire to see an end like Tysha. Something with poison. Adding; I speculate that Varys put her in touch with the Martells. Cersei - her sword is named "Jaime" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hiemal Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 Fun! Cersei: Lion's Mane, for her ambition Hot Pie: A Valyrian Steel rolling pin called Breadwinner Dolorous Edd: Nightlamp? for the Tollet words, when all is darkest Olenna: A dagger called Thorntongue Shae, a dagger called "Imptickler" Lady Dustin: Sharphoof Weese: Wickcutter Craster: An Axe named "Answered Prayer" Dontos: Bottle Opener Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curled Finger Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 10 hours ago, Seams said: What if characters such as Sansa, Dolorous Edd or Hot Pie had swords? What would they name their weapons? My nominations: Sansa - Sheet Slitter or Lemon-eater. Dolorous Edd - Hardboiled. (He could use it to stir the cauldron of eggs he boils in spiced wine one morning.) Hot Pie - Dough boy? Burnt Toast? Tartmaker? What are your suggestions for named, imaginary swords and the characters who would wield them? Or the weapons could be warhammers, trebuchets, frog spears, poisons or other nameable weapons appropriate to the character. Here are some (apparently) swordless characters you might consider: Weese Orphan Olenna Ego Slasher Craster Baby Slayer Lollys Dim Roar Septon Chayle Well Lighter Lady Dustin Bittersteel Fat Walda Silver Weight Dontos Hollard Saved (by the) Maiden Shae Unworthy Bitch Alayaya Worthy Tysha Myrcella Cersei Can't top @Lollygag's Jamie here Ditto Fun! But you broke my heart with some of your choices, @Seams. back if I come up with anything for the 2 I missed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curled Finger Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 59 minutes ago, hiemal said: Fun! Cersei: Lion's Mane, for her ambition Hot Pie: A Valyrian Steel rolling pin called Breadwinner Dolorous Edd: Nightlamp? for the Tollet words, when all is darkest Olenna: A dagger called Thorntongue Shae, a dagger called "Imptickler" Lady Dustin: Sharphoof Weese: Wickcutter Craster: An Axe named "Answered Prayer" Dontos: Bottle Opener Excellent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lollygag Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 2 hours ago, hiemal said: Fun! Cersei: Lion's Mane, for her ambition Hot Pie: A Valyrian Steel rolling pin called Breadwinner Dolorous Edd: Nightlamp? for the Tollet words, when all is darkest Olenna: A dagger called Thorntongue Shae, a dagger called "Imptickler" Lady Dustin: Sharphoof Weese: Wickcutter Craster: An Axe named "Answered Prayer" Dontos: Bottle Opener I'm truly jealous of your skill at this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoodedCrow Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 Sansa’s would be Lemoncake, Courtesy or Tattler cersei Crazy Lion 0lenna: Lady thorns Craster: Polygamy Alayaya: piety or the joy of sex Shae: For a price Tommen: Pounce Myrcella: Cyrvasse Arianne: impulse Dolorous Edd: Eyore Theon: Redemption Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mother of The Others Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 Fat Walda. Queef Swatter Hot Pie. Oregano! Penny. BlandStorm Lollys. Who-What-Where! Sansa. Tongue Taker Shae. YouThinkYou'reBetterThanMe? Doran. Sepsis Melisandre. The Hilt (she overcompensates with an all-hilt magic sword she CAN grab) The Reader. Mean Violence Ramsay. Intimacy Petyr. Ultra Hyper Phallus Jr. Tommen. The Power Of Greyskull! (He watches He-Man reruns at the mummer shows) Darkstar. God Spanker Current Frey lord of Riverrun. Ewww, Nasty! Dolorous Edd. That Figures. Reznak Mo Reznak. Belinda random Yunkai'i master. Taste the Circus Selyse. Askance Glance Varys. Nut Quester Patches. Loon Slewn. Little Walder. Boogers of Lys. Arianne. Tight Swipe. Xaro Xoan (etc.) Say My Name Daario. Thruster Ghost. Awooooo! Ygritte. NowYouKnow Podrick. When Gods Cry Tears of Fate Renly. The Lack of Urgency Davos. Renly Is Not Right! Cercei. Lady Killer. Ghost of High Heart. And All My Dreams Torn Asunder (JMS) Green Harpy. Camel's Embrace Sweetrobin. Swords Are Dumb Dontos. Mommy! Princess Myrcella. Oh No You Didn't Meera. Whisper On The Wind Sam Tarly. Let's Talk This Over The Red Viper. No More Waiting The Faceless Man. A Blade Has A Name lord Manderly. FreyFeaster Illyn Payne. ..... ........ ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoodedCrow Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 Mother of the Others, I am inspired by Oregano! My next sword shall be named such!:) Or Thyme? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YOVMO Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 On 12/9/2018 at 11:37 AM, Seams said: What if characters such as Sansa, Dolorous Edd or Hot Pie had swords? What would they name their weapons? My nominations: Sansa - Sheet Slitter or Lemon-eater. Dolorous Edd - Hardboiled. (He could use it to stir the cauldron of eggs he boils in spiced wine one morning.) Hot Pie - Dough boy? Burnt Toast? Tartmaker? What are your suggestions for named, imaginary swords and the characters who would wield them? Or the weapons could be warhammers, trebuchets, frog spears, poisons or other nameable weapons appropriate to the character. Here are some (apparently) swordless characters you might consider: Weese Olenna Craster Lollys Septon Chayle Lady Dustin Fat Walda Dontos Hollard Shae Alayaya Tysha Myrcella Cersei Oh this is a fun one.... Weese: Pride Smeller Olenna: Oaf Breaker Craster: Daughter Piercer Lollys: Quinquagesimal Lady Dustin: Rat Slayer Fat Walda: Dowry Enhancer Dontos: Fool's Foil Shae: Faithless Floozy ALayaya: The Black Blade Tysha: Lesson Learner Myrcella: Dornish Lamb Sansa: (your) lemon eater Dolorous Edd: Last Man Cersei: Sticky Sibling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevets Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 Sansa - Maid's Blade Dontos - Fool's Tool Hot Pie - Bread Slicer Meera - Prince's Protector or Fish Killer Podrick - Persistence Cersei - Lionsclaw (had to go serious with this one) Sam Tarly - Slayer (gets the name off himself); obsidian dagger called Other's Bane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sigella Posted December 10, 2018 Share Posted December 10, 2018 Cersei: Goldsister Dany: Silverfyre Tyrion: Imps Fury Sansa: Lady Claw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Crows Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 Craster - Only Son Fat Walda - Slimmer Sister Dolorous Edd - Happy Hot Pie - Kneader (like Needle, get it?) Sansa - Big Finger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother of edd tollett Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 Hot pie sword should obviously be called 'cookiecutter' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcelowww Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 Petyr Baelish- Middle-Finger Tyrion - Lion's Nail Melisandre - Rhllor's Hand Cersei - Rock's Claw Varys - Steel's Poison Shae - Whore Tysha - Summer's Iron High Sparrow - Stranger's Maiden Theon/Reek - Rusty Aeron - Forgotten Arianne - Unbroken Tommen - Mr. Steel Paw Bran - Crow's Beak Hot Pie - Hot Sansa - The Hound's Daughter Lady Stoneheart - Stone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcelowww Posted December 21, 2018 Share Posted December 21, 2018 2 minutes ago, Marcelowww said: Sorry, this was unintentional Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindsayLohan Posted December 22, 2018 Share Posted December 22, 2018 I laughed pretty hard @ "Dim Roar" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legitimate_Bastard Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 Varys - stolen stem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seams Posted April 21, 2019 Author Share Posted April 21, 2019 Some excellent entries in round one! I will recognize some of my favorites before suggesting some new nominees for a second round of creative weapon-naming. Both hilarious and practical: On 12/9/2018 at 9:03 PM, hiemal said: Hot Pie: A Valyrian Steel rolling pin called Breadwinner Dontos: Bottle Opener So apt: On 12/9/2018 at 9:49 PM, Curled Finger said: Lollys Dim Roar Fat Walda Silver Weight Very true to character: On 12/10/2018 at 1:29 AM, The Mother of The Others said: Illyn Payne. ..... ........ ...... I particularly like this Olenna suggestion but the Weese sword is also right on the money: On 12/10/2018 at 2:48 PM, YOVMO said: Weese: Pride Smeller Olenna: Oaf Breaker Several excellent and thoughtful suggestions from Joey Crows. These are my favorites: On 12/20/2018 at 6:57 PM, Joey Crows said: Craster - Only Son Fat Walda - Slimmer Sister Hot Pie - Kneader (like Needle, get it?) Sansa - Big Finger Hot Pie has the potential to be such a badass, if he can get a hold of these weapons everyone imagines for him: On 12/21/2018 at 5:35 AM, Brother of edd tollett said: Hot pie sword should obviously be called 'cookiecutter' I am drawn to the ironically humorous suggestions, such as this one: On 12/21/2018 at 1:34 PM, Marcelowww said: Petyr Baelish- Middle-Finger Perfect: On 1/2/2019 at 10:24 AM, Legitimate_Bastard said: Varys - stolen stem For a new round of imaginary weapons for (apparently) swordless characters, here are some suggested names to get us started. Don't feel compelled to imagine swords for everyone listed and do feel free to provide for additional swordless characters, not already listed: Lord Wyman Manderly The Elder Brother Edmure Tully Doreah the dosh khaleen (are swords allowed in vaes dothrak?) Missandei Septon Meribald (remember, he is a broken man with sad memories of war service) Margaery Tyrell Moon Boy Tobho Mott Rennifer Longwaters (a descendant, he claims, of Princess Elaena Targaryen) Joyeuse Erenford (current wife of Lord Walder Frey. pregnant) Amarei Frey (Lady of Darry through her unconsummated marriage to Lancel Lannister) Pyp Satin Dywen (who has wooden teeth and can smell cold) Ser Patrek of King's Mountain Myranda Royce Grisel (former wetnurse for Petyr Baelish, now a servant at "the Drearfort" in the Fingers) The Weeper Yandry and Ysilla onboard the Selaesori Qhoran: the corpse pickled in brine Pretty Pig Crunch the ship's cook (a good cyvasse player; blinded by a kettle of hot grease during the storm, he died three days later) In Essos: Tagganaro the Sailor's Wife the waif The Kindly Man Xhondo Dhoru (a Summer Islander who pulls Sam Tarly from the canal and helps him book passage on the Cinnamon Wind) My initial thoughts for a few of these characters: Wyman Manderly - Weight Watcher Margaery Tyrell - Maidenhead or Marry Widow Joyeuse Erenford - Divorce Lawyer Pretty Pig - Acorn Hoover But maybe we need to move beyond swords and put some thinking into poisons and potions. We know about Milk of the Poppy, dreamwine, sweetsleep, the Strangler. Alchemists have a special recipe for wild fire. Melisandre keeps some powders and special effects items in her cloak. There is speculation in the forum about Jojen paste and we know that Sister Stew and Singer Stew and bowls of brown have unique ingredients. Mormont has a very exacting recipe for mulled wine. What are some imaginary poisons, recipes and potions that should be kept close to our armory of imaginary weapons, and which characters are most likely to use them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hiemal Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 2 hours ago, Seams said: Lord Manderly: Stormwrack Elder Brother: The Father's Justice Edmure Tully: Rivers' Wrath Dosh Khaleen: Widows' Wail. Obviously. Missandei: Butterfly Stings Septon Meribald: Orangepeeler Margery Tyrell: Sweet-thorn Moonboy: Dancing Crescent Rennifer Longwaters: Skeleton Key Lady Frey: Fat Chance Amarei Frey: Gatekeeper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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