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Rant & Rave Season 8 [Spoilers]: When you are cool like a cucumber, as evil as the mother of madness, but never as perfect as the pet!


The Fattest Leech

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So, in other words, B&W decided to shove a season-long conflict into one episode? Sounds about right. 

I thought it was terrible from start to finish. Arya was embarrassing to watch. So was Lyanna.  The 'scary' library scene felt like a video game level in Silent Hill. The battle tactics were absurd and stupid. Love the way Arya is slaying dozens of wights, but then cowering from half-a-dozen in the castle. Don't know why Sansa is on the battlements at the beginning of the episode. "I must be here for my people!" I guess B&W forgot/never read ACOK then. Jon fighting hundreds of wights by himself. The White Walkers being useless.  Arya. The Night King. My God, that's cringe. 

This is a video game/Marvel movie. They turned ASOIAF into Marvel, ffs. 

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Well, I can't believe my brilliant theory gets shut down by this steaming piece of crap... :lol:

Those Dothraki charging like idiots into the night... did anyone even give them an order to do that? Was that the plan all along? Um... why? Why not flank the dead after they clashed with the unsullied shieldwall? Why not stay in reserve to cover a potential retreat? ... No, I know why. Because having lots of horses in battle is expensive and they had to get rid of them quickly. They might as well have yelled "For the Budgeeeeeet!" as they did it.

The whole battle was a disjointed, illogical mess. First the Dothraki are met by undead giants, then it's just regular zombies for most of the episode, with only one giant to give Lyanna Mormont an Epic Death Scene™. In the CGI wide shots there are thousands of them moving like a tornado but in the ground shots there are much fewer, especially towards the end in the slow motion Last Stand™ shots with Dany and Jorah, Jon, etc.

There was no tactical thinking on either side. Dany's armies did nothing but get themselves killed with those formations, the fire pits were used as a wall instead of a trap or some sort of trench/palisade for archers, there was nobody defending the women and children down in the crypts, the catapults were used once, the dragons did next to nothing. On the other side, the Night King just threw forces at them randomly. Why did the dead swarm the walls of the castle instead of the walls of the godswood? Why didn't he plunge on top of Bran with the dragon while Jon and Dany were lost in the fog? What were those undead doing lost in library? They were just waddling about slowly like it was the Walking Dead... did the Night King send them to find him something to read for after the battle?

Mel showing up out of nowhere... Did they just do that to avoid giving her a scene with Jon? Last season she was going to Volantis, what was the point of that? Did she just go there to juice up because there are no Rh'llor charging sockets in Westeros? I thought the other red priests were already on Dany's side. Why didn't some of them come with her? And what was that shit with the arakhs? Why did she have to touch the first one if they all caught fire anyway? And that trench lit up like it was ACME gunpowder. From a storytelling perspective, did the archers and the unsullied really have to fail to light that so that Mel could do something useful?

Oh and that blue eyes ass pull with Arya... Seriously? She's gonna remind her of that like she knew all along? She was serving Stannis at the time! She was gonna sacrifice her future boy toy. She burned a fucking child along the way! She looked at Arya like she was afraid of her, and said she had a darkness in her! That was beyond dumb.

Speaking of Arya... I was under the impression that she gave the valyrian steel dagger to Sansa. How many weapons did that girl have on her? And the Night King withstood dragon flame but popped like a balloon when she stabbed him with dragon steel? What's the logic in that? Not to mention that this "kill the motership and all the drones fall down" BS is the lamest thing ever.

Oh, and they missed out royally with Beric. If they really went this route, if Arya killed the Night King, why not actually kill her and have Beric give her the kiss of life like he did with LSH? It would have been a nice nod to the books, and could have been a nice dramatic moment with the Hound maybe showing some emotion and urging him to do it. The way they did it, his purpose was to save her from a random wight by throwing his sword at him? Really?

And the deaths... I was expecting us to lose some major characters, but it feels like everyone died except for them. All the soldiers, almost all of the women and children in the crypts (the wights broke in and killed most of them, right?)... but Pod the Rod survived, He Who Fucked Azor Ahai survived, Tormund survived... not to mention the more important named characters. At some point I was under the impression that Jon saw Sam being ripped apart by wights and simply couldn't spare the time to help him because he had to get to Bran, and that was momentarily gut-wrenching, but nope, Sam was fine later on. I think Melisandre actually went out and killed herself in protest. Even she thought there were too few main character deaths!

Very disappointing episode overall.

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2 hours ago, Ser Drewy said:

Anyone else find the piano music at the end cheesy and hilarious? 

I can't believe this is how they handled the 'song of ice and fire' conflict. It's hilariously bad. 

Yes, it was cheesy and hilarious. It didn't belong with the scene or the genre. Then again, none of the things that happened belonged, either. Everything was so random, might as well throw in the wrong music.

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3 hours ago, The Coconut God said:

Well, I can't believe my brilliant theory gets shut down by this steaming piece of crap... :lol:

Those Dothraki charging like idiots into the night... did anyone even give them an order to do that? Was that the plan all along? Um... why? Why not flank the dead after they clashed with the unsullied shieldwall? Why not stay in reserve to cover a potential retreat? ... No, I know why. Because having lots of horses in battle is expensive and they had to get rid of them quickly. They might as well have yelled "For the Budgeeeeeet!" as they did it.

The whole battle was a disjointed, illogical mess. First the Dothraki are met by undead giants, then it's just regular zombies for most of the episode, with only one giant to give Lyanna Mormont an Epic Death Scene™. In the CGI wide shots there are thousands of them moving like a tornado but in the ground shots there are much fewer, especially towards the end in the slow motion Last Stand™ shots with Dany and Jorah, Jon, etc.

There was no tactical thinking on either side. Dany's armies did nothing but get themselves killed with those formations, the fire pits were used as a wall instead of a trap or some sort of trench/palisade for archers, there was nobody defending the women and children down in the crypts, the catapults were used once, the dragons did next to nothing. On the other side, the Night King just threw forces at them randomly. Why did the dead swarm the walls of the castle instead of the walls of the godswood? Why didn't he plunge on top of Bran with the dragon while Jon and Dany were lost in the fog? What were those undead doing lost in library? They were just waddling about slowly like it was the Walking Dead... did the Night King send them to find him something to read for after the battle?

Mel showing up out of nowhere... Did they just do that to avoid giving her a scene with Jon? Last season she was going to Volantis, what was the point of that? Did she just go there to juice up because there are no Rh'llor charging sockets in Westeros? I thought the other red priests were already on Dany's side. Why didn't some of them come with her? And what was that shit with the arakhs? Why did she have to touch the first one if they all caught fire anyway? And that trench lit up like it was ACME gunpowder. From a storytelling perspective, did the archers and the unsullied really have to fail to light that so that Mel could do something useful?

Oh and that blue eyes ass pull with Arya... Seriously? She's gonna remind her of that like she knew all along? She was serving Stannis at the time! She was gonna sacrifice her future boy toy. She burned a fucking child along the way! She looked at Arya like she was afraid of her, and said she had a darkness in her! That was beyond dumb.

Speaking of Arya... I was under the impression that she gave the valyrian steel dagger to Sansa. How many weapons did that girl have on her? And the Night King withstood dragon flame but popped like a balloon when she stabbed him with dragon steel? What's the logic in that? Not to mention that this "kill the motership and all the drones fall down" BS is the lamest thing ever.

Oh, and they missed out royally with Beric. If they really went this route, if Arya killed the Night King, why not actually kill her and have Beric give her the kiss of life like he did with LSH? It would have been a nice nod to the books, and could have been a nice dramatic moment with the Hound maybe showing some emotion and urging him to do it. The way they did it, his purpose was to save her from a random wight by throwing his sword at him? Really?

And the deaths... I was expecting us to lose some major characters, but it feels like everyone died except for them. All the soldiers, almost all of the women and children in the crypts (the wights broke in and killed most of them, right?)... but Pod the Rod survived, He Who Fucked Azor Ahai survived, Tormund survived... not to mention the more important named characters. At some point I was under the impression that Jon saw Sam being ripped apart by wights and simply couldn't spare the time to help him because he had to get to Bran, and that was momentarily gut-wrenching, but nope, Sam was fine later on. I think Melisandre actually went out and killed herself in protest. Even she thought there were too few main character deaths!

Very disappointing episode overall.

This! So much this. It was touted as the battle of the century, it was a battle alright. Not to mention how difficult it was to see anything what with how dark they shot everything

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Scanning the twitter feeds of Canadian journalists and they love the show.   I haven't loved the show for several seasons now.  But well, there is an audience for it.  I have a richer experience reading the books and I'm always hopeful that the next one is just around the corner.

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Maisie on killing the NK.

She continued: “It has to be intelligently done because otherwise people are like, ‘Well, [the villain] couldn’t have been that bad when some 100-pound girl comes in and stabs him.’ You gotta make it cool. And then I told my boyfriend and he was like, ‘Mmm, should be Jon though really, shouldn’t it?’”

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/game-of-thrones/game-of-thrones-season-8-maisie-williams-arya-night-king-dead-episode-3-melisandre-a8890601.html

 

”Intelligently done”, indeed. More like, “you gotta make it cool.”

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Is it at all possible that in the next episode a few more deaths will be revealed? Like, they’re gonna show us that people died off screen? It’s so incredibly underwhelming, cheap, and stupid that it might just happen. :D

 

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4 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said:

Is it at all possible that in the next episode a few more deaths will be revealed? Like, they’re gonna show us that people died off screen? It’s so incredibly underwhelming, cheap, and stupid that it might just happen. :D

 

Considering they gave Edd and Beric long death scenes, I really doubt it unless it’s some tertiary character like Alys Karstark in the crypts.

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7 minutes ago, Butterwell said:

Alys Karstark was with Theon and the Ironborn. I’d say she’s dead.

According to the wiki she is ... "Unknown."

So the death tally is: Beric, Edd, Lyanna, Jorah, Theon, Melisandre, and possibly Alys. Wow, really shocking deaths that everyone should care about in an episode where people thought that a good chunk of primary characters were at stake.

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23 minutes ago, Vaith said:

Considering they gave Edd and Beric long death scenes, I really doubt it unless it’s some tertiary character like Alys Karstark in the crypts.

That’s why I said underwhelming, cheap and stupid. I’ll add all three seem to be what they’re going for, so there you go. 

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10 hours ago, kissdbyfire said:

LOL

Is all I have. Sorta.

10 to Alfie, and LOL to everything else, basically.

20 mins of fuck all to kick it off. Okaaay. No one wears helms? Why? Yes, we need to see the actors, I suppose. Still, dumb as fuck. 

Hey, @Cas Stark, did half pint make it out of that mess or not? By rights she’d be dead... the bone crunching noise when the wight giant grabbed her... broken ribs piercing the lungs and she’d have choked n her own blood. Right? Or not? Who knows. More importantly, who cares?

All dragon flying/fighting scenes were... ridiculous. Seriously, 15m per ep and this is what I get? 

And where were/what happened to: Jaime, Brienne, Gendry, Pod, Tormund? What the actual fuck, this is no way to tell a fucking story! 

What about Varys? Besides having some blood on his cheek? How did it get there?

And why did Mel offed herself? (Can’t say I blame her, though. I’d have done the same if in her shoes).

Davos, you need to check out. ASAP. Sam, you need to check out ASAP DOUBLE QUICK. 

I have millions more rants, but too exasperated at the mo. Back later.

ps: GoT SUCKS MANKY DOGS BALLS. 

LOLOLOL  That just made me LMAO!!  Thank you. 

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5 hours ago, The Coconut God said:

Well, I can't believe my brilliant theory gets shut down by this steaming piece of crap... :lol:

Those Dothraki charging like idiots into the night... did anyone even give them an order to do that? Was that the plan all along? Um... why? Why not flank the dead after they clashed with the unsullied shieldwall? Why not stay in reserve to cover a potential retreat? ... No, I know why. Because having lots of horses in battle is expensive and they had to get rid of them quickly. They might as well have yelled "For the Budgeeeeeet!" as they did it.

The whole battle was a disjointed, illogical mess. First the Dothraki are met by undead giants, then it's just regular zombies for most of the episode, with only one giant to give Lyanna Mormont an Epic Death Scene™. In the CGI wide shots there are thousands of them moving like a tornado but in the ground shots there are much fewer, especially towards the end in the slow motion Last Stand™ shots with Dany and Jorah, Jon, etc.

There was no tactical thinking on either side. Dany's armies did nothing but get themselves killed with those formations, the fire pits were used as a wall instead of a trap or some sort of trench/palisade for archers, there was nobody defending the women and children down in the crypts, the catapults were used once, the dragons did next to nothing. On the other side, the Night King just threw forces at them randomly. Why did the dead swarm the walls of the castle instead of the walls of the godswood? Why didn't he plunge on top of Bran with the dragon while Jon and Dany were lost in the fog? What were those undead doing lost in library? They were just waddling about slowly like it was the Walking Dead... did the Night King send them to find him something to read for after the battle?

Mel showing up out of nowhere... Did they just do that to avoid giving her a scene with Jon? Last season she was going to Volantis, what was the point of that? Did she just go there to juice up because there are no Rh'llor charging sockets in Westeros? I thought the other red priests were already on Dany's side. Why didn't some of them come with her? And what was that shit with the arakhs? Why did she have to touch the first one if they all caught fire anyway? And that trench lit up like it was ACME gunpowder. From a storytelling perspective, did the archers and the unsullied really have to fail to light that so that Mel could do something useful?

Oh and that blue eyes ass pull with Arya... Seriously? She's gonna remind her of that like she knew all along? She was serving Stannis at the time! She was gonna sacrifice her future boy toy. She burned a fucking child along the way! She looked at Arya like she was afraid of her, and said she had a darkness in her! That was beyond dumb.

Speaking of Arya... I was under the impression that she gave the valyrian steel dagger to Sansa. How many weapons did that girl have on her? And the Night King withstood dragon flame but popped like a balloon when she stabbed him with dragon steel? What's the logic in that? Not to mention that this "kill the motership and all the drones fall down" BS is the lamest thing ever.

Oh, and they missed out royally with Beric. If they really went this route, if Arya killed the Night King, why not actually kill her and have Beric give her the kiss of life like he did with LSH? It would have been a nice nod to the books, and could have been a nice dramatic moment with the Hound maybe showing some emotion and urging him to do it. The way they did it, his purpose was to save her from a random wight by throwing his sword at him? Really?

And the deaths... I was expecting us to lose some major characters, but it feels like everyone died except for them. All the soldiers, almost all of the women and children in the crypts (the wights broke in and killed most of them, right?)... but Pod the Rod survived, He Who Fucked Azor Ahai survived, Tormund survived... not to mention the more important named characters. At some point I was under the impression that Jon saw Sam being ripped apart by wights and simply couldn't spare the time to help him because he had to get to Bran, and that was momentarily gut-wrenching, but nope, Sam was fine later on. I think Melisandre actually went out and killed herself in protest. Even she thought there were too few main character deaths!

Very disappointing episode overall.

Hahahahaha, I totally forgot, I was wondering if the wights were in there perusing the library for themselves, some wight agency LOL, or for the NK himself.  Nope, they dead were wandering through the library like that because creatively.............it made sense to them at the time.  JEEZ!! 

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1 hour ago, Butterwell said:

Maisie on killing the NK.

She continued: “It has to be intelligently done because otherwise people are like, ‘Well, [the villain] couldn’t have been that bad when some 100-pound girl comes in and stabs him.’ You gotta make it cool. And then I told my boyfriend and he was like, ‘Mmm, should be Jon though really, shouldn’t it?’”

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/game-of-thrones/game-of-thrones-season-8-maisie-williams-arya-night-king-dead-episode-3-melisandre-a8890601.html

 

”Intelligently done”, indeed. More like, “you gotta make it cool.”

This has been percolating in my mind for awhile now.  If the show had really ever done anything appropriate with the House of Black and White and Arya, they would have concentrated on how the Faceless Men would have been horrified at the idea of men and things that cannot die.  The Kindly Man (in the books) even says something to Arya once about how in all the world there aren't people that don't die, or defy Death unnaturally.  But the Ds never really grasped anything about that, anyway.  They thought the FM was all about just being an assassin.  No, it's also about certain ideology that goes with it. 

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10 hours ago, Frey family reunion said:

 

Speaking of Lyanna, was anyone else hoping we’d get zombie Lyanna Stark crawling out of her crypt and land on Tyrion’s head?  Or was it just me?

Btw I’m pretty sure the book that Arya threw to distract the wights was a half finished Winds of Winter.

LOLZZZZ, that's exactly what book it was!

1 hour ago, Vaith said:

According to the wiki she is ... "Unknown."

So the death tally is: Beric, Edd, Lyanna, Jorah, Theon, Melisandre, and possibly Alys. Wow, really shocking deaths that everyone should care about in an episode where people thought that a good chunk of primary characters were at stake.

And Ghost, poor Ghost. He didn't even get a death scene. Jon has no warging/connection with Ghost so his super awesome precious direwolf  just dies and Jon doesn't even feel it or know or care. The show is total fucking shit compared to the books and that episode was absolutely miserable!

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