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The Fattest Leech

Rant & Rave Season 8 [Spoilers]: When you are cool like a cucumber, as evil as the mother of madness, but never as perfect as the pet!

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So glad my big screen TV isn’t malfunctioning. Was fiddling with the brightness and contrast for half the episode before giving up in disgust, only to read here that it was a common experience and the episode just had crap lighting.

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Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, Vaith said:

And according to Benioff, the Dothraki as a people are dead now... were the women and children of the Dothraki also killed in that assault, because I couldn't see any! 

I think it was Weiss who said that, not that it matters much, but it's a completely ridiculous statement.  There's no way all the Dothraki in the world were that small bunch that attacked the wights.  I would have thought Dany left some of them at Dragonstone, and many, many others are still at the Dothraki Sea.  What the f*** are these people even talking about?  Are they stupid?  Ignorant?  Are they trolling?  I can't believe these two morons get paid millions to make a mess of my favorite books.

Edited by bloodsteel bitterraven

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7 hours ago, Suzanna Stormborn said:

4 women in my office just walked over to my desk and we had a 20 minute Rant about how stupid that episode was and this season in general is just ruining the whole series for them, they asked me if it was worth it to read the books----lol that's a big "fuck yes! Def read the books!"

Mainly everyone agrees that while it was 'cool' for Arya to kill the NK, it just made no sense.

They were yelling "What is the point of Jon!?!" which I completely agree with, he has no purpose.

 

why did the show have Missandei point out that the prophecy could refer to a man or a woman?........oh D&D dont mean to say that Arya is TptwP do they?  cuz I can't deal with that

The two people I talked to, who are big fans of the show, told me this episode was stupid and made no sense.  I'm guessing the only people who liked it are those who watch GoT drunk.

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12 minutes ago, bloodsteel bitterraven said:

The two people I talked to, who are big fans of the show, told me this episode was stupid and made no sense.  I'm guessing the only people who liked it are those who watch GoT drunk.

I’m afraid the market for brainless entertainment based on visual appeal and shock value is larger than one would think.

People are dumb. And guys like D&D build careers and get rich off of them.

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48 minutes ago, bloodsteel bitterraven said:

I think it was Weiss who said that, not that it matters much, but it's a completely ridiculous statement.  There's no way all the Dothraki in the world were that small bunch that attacked the wights.  I would have thought Dany left some of them at Dragonstone, and many, many others are still at the Dothraki Sea.  What the f*** are these people even talking about?  Are they stupid?  Ignorant?  Are they trolling?  I can't believe these two morons get paid millions to make a mess of my favorite books.

Tbh I think they're going for the "all the Dothraki in the entire world are following Dany" depiction since in Season 6, they were apparently having a massive meeting at Vaes Dothrak to decide which village each khalasar should pillage (not like they are uncoordinated and constantly wage war on one another in canon) 

The Great Grass Sea is just... empty I guess? Yara had a LOT of ships to transport them, it'd seem. 

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On 4/29/2019 at 7:54 PM, Le Cygne said:

Funny...

NEW YORK—Discussing their astonishment mere hours after the premiere of the highly anticipated episode, Game Of Thrones actors told reporters Monday about the moment they read the script for the zombie battle in “The Long Night” and realized they had definitively wasted their careers. “Right away, when I finished the script, I felt this sense of immense loss at throwing away the prime of my life performing in a make-believe world of CGI dragons and giants,” said series regular Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, who described feeling stunned when discovering that he had squandered day after day of his precious existence freezing his ass off in Belfast-based shoots just to play a mediocre role in an emotionally incoherent series that had stretched on for years too long. “I’ll never forget when [showrunner] David Benioff sat me down and told me the fate of the Night King and I thought: Who gives a flying fuck? What am I still doing on this show? Jesus Christ, I actually cried.” At press time, several cast members told interviewers about having their breath taken away after learning their characters survived the battle and that they still had to film three more episodes of this goddamn thing.

https://entertainment.theonion.com/game-of-thrones-actors-reveal-reading-script-for-zomb-1834388057

OMG, I've never read about any of the actors dissing the show! This is awesome!

I can't believe I've never read this thread before. You guys are a hoot. :rofl:

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4 minutes ago, Vaith said:

Tbh I think they're going for the "all the Dothraki in the entire world are following Dany" depiction since in Season 6, they were apparently having a massive meeting at Vaes Dothrak to decide which village each khalasar should pillage (not like they are uncoordinated and constantly wage war on one another in canon) 

The Great Grass Sea is just... empty I guess? Yara had a LOT of ships to transport them, it'd seem. 

So all the Dothraki in the world were that small bunch fighting in Winterfell?  What a joke. 

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12 hours ago, Dragons Are Real said:

I haven't watched the episode yet, but find comfort in reading spoilers because it helps me judge how much alcohol I need in me before I click the play button tonight.

:)))

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2 hours ago, Feather Crystal said:

OMG, I've never read about any of the actors dissing the show! This is awesome!

I can't believe I've never read this thread before. You guys are a hoot. :rofl:

The Onion is satire

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It's so irritating to realize that the Night King (the literal personification of death, according to D&D) couldn't kill one of Dany's dragons, but somehow Cersei will be able to with her stupid scorpion. It's as bad as any superhero movie where a characters powers will fluctuate from scene to scene based on the needs of the filmmakers.

As bad as this episode was, I have a feeling the last three will be even worse.

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22 minutes ago, Elayis said:

It's so irritating to realize that the Night King (the literal personification of death, according to D&D) couldn't kill one of Dany's dragons, but somehow Cersei will be able to with her stupid scorpion.  

The Night King did kill one of Dany's Dragons, just not in the most recent episode.

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Posted (edited)

Of all the things that can be criticized about this show as a whole and this episode in particular, the fact that Jon didn't kill the NK is one of the weaker ones. The mere existence of the NK as a villain in the show is absurd as it is. If they had made Jon slay him in single combat, it would have been one of the best examples of the show doing shit that would likely never happen in the books.

The show is already full of stuff that would never happen in the books. That some are criticizing the show re: Jon because they didn't do something ridiculously cliche that would likely never happen in the books is amusing. It remains to be seen what role, if any, Arya will play in defeating the WW in the books. But it is hardly implausible that she will play a similarly significant role.

They really screwed up by not having the WW do anything all battle, and only having their made up NK get involved. There were so many issues with how they had the battle go, things that made no sense for the characters to be doing, but that they did just to create a visual or scene they wanted. That Jon wasn't the one to kill the NK was not among the issues with this episode.

Jon is the primary reason that there is any awareness at all in Westeros of the WW threat, which led to a coalition including dragons, Dothraki, Unsullied, Vale, North, Iron Island, etc. forces. That is his purpose. Not being the one to kill the NK doesn't diminish that at all.

Edited by Bael's Bastard

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7 minutes ago, BadAssRobinArryn said:

The Night King did kill one of Dany's Dragons, just not in the most recent episode.

I meant the remaining two.

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9 minutes ago, Bael's Bastard said:

Of all the things that can be criticized about this show as a whole and this episode in particular, the fact that Jon didn't kill the NK is one of the weaker ones. The mere existence of the NK as a villain in the show is absurd as it is. If they had made Jon slay him in single combat, it would have been one of the best examples of the show doing shit that would likely never happen in the books.

The show is already full of stuff that would never happen in the books. That some are criticizing the show re: Jon because they didn't do something ridiculously cliche that would likely never happen in the books is amusing. It remains to be seen what role, if any, Arya will play in defeating the WW in the books. But it is hardly implausible that she will play a similarly significant role.

They really screwed up by not having the WW do anything all battle, and only having their made up NK get involved. There were so many issues with how they had the battle go, things that made no sense for the characters to be doing, but that they did just to create a visual or scene they wanted. That Jon wasn't the one to kill the NK was not among the issues with this episode.

Jon is the primary reason that there is any awareness at all in Westeros of the WW threat, which led to a coalition including dragons, Dothraki, Unsullied, Vale, North, Iron Island, etc. forces. That is his purpose. Not being the one to kill the NK doesn't diminish that at all.

I agree. Having Jon kill the Night's King would have been a cliche. Choosing Arya to do it was preferable, but flying out of nowhere was just silly. I would expect a Faceless Man to have expert skills - stealth being foremost - but how did she leap over so many wights? Throw tomatoes at me if  you wish, but I did like that she used the same dagger that was meant to kill Bran back in the beginning.

GRRM has said that the show is hitting the 'high notes', which I've interpreted as following an outline. Daenerys comes to Westeros, Jon learns his true parentage, and the Wall is breached, are all what I'd call 'high notes', but I have a hard time believing that GRRM revealed any details that haven't been published. D & D are basically making up their own story, and in my opinion, have gleaned most of it from this forum.

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17 hours ago, BadAssRobinArryn said:

"She knew better than the Three-Eyed Raven, whose mind and senses are unmoored in space and time and who thus can witness and learn about anything that has ever happened anywhere. She knew better, in fact, than the builders of the Wall, the biggest clowns in the history of this fictional world, who built a completely needless 700-foot ice-and-magic edifice spanning an entire continent when they could have just hired a middle-of-the-pack Faceless Man to shoot a dragonglass arrow into the Night King’s butt a thousand years ago and ended the White Walker threat for all time."

 

:lol:

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26 minutes ago, Bael's Bastard said:

Of all the things that can be criticized about this show as a whole and this episode in particular, the fact that Jon didn't kill the NK is one of the weaker ones. The mere existence of the NK as a villain in the show is absurd as it is. If they had made Jon slay him in single combat, it would have been one of the best examples of the show doing shit that would likely never happen in the books.

The show is already full of stuff that would never happen in the books. That some are criticizing the show re: Jon because they didn't do something ridiculously cliche that would likely never happen in the books is amusing. It remains to be seen what role, if any, Arya will play in defeating the WW in the books. But it is hardly implausible that she will play a similarly significant role.

They really screwed up by not having the WW do anything all battle, and only having their made up NK get involved. There were so many issues with how they had the battle go, things that made no sense for the characters to be doing, but that they did just to create a visual or scene they wanted. That Jon wasn't the one to kill the NK was not among the issues with this episode.

Jon is the primary reason that there is any awareness at all in Westeros of the WW threat, which led to a coalition including dragons, Dothraki, Unsullied, Vale, North, Iron Island, etc. forces. That is his purpose. Not being the one to kill the NK doesn't diminish that at all.

But the fact is that the show has created a direct conflict between jon and the NK for years. It needed resolution. Even if he didn t kill the NK then he needed to have a pivotal role in defeating him.

And the same should be said about bran and danny. And there are several smart and interesting ways of making the 3 of them being part in defeating the NK...

Between bran warging viseryon or interefering with the NK control of the ww/wights near him while jon uses the distraction to kill him, the dragons killing viseryon, raining fire on the NK and having danny use her resistance to fire to stab the NK... There were multiple ways to do it...

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The problem is not that Jon didn’t kill the NK, but that he did nothing, he’s useless, R+L/fire+ice is useless, TPtwP is useless, and AA Arya Ahai was a ridiculous asspull, but hey, soooo badass. Yikes. 

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Well, that was painful.  So, episode three down, and so is whatever shred of story was left.

I get that the darkness was meant to be oppressive, but damn it you can film in broad daylight and filter to dark and get much better results.  Maybe, instead of focusing on "wow, cool" these idiots could focus on learning some film techniques, or at least take pointers from someone that actually does know what they're doing?  Maybe?

That said, at least they are consistently idiotic.

Everybody else seems to be covering most of my complaints, so let me just cover a few "minor" problems that bothered me so much it made me want to scream obscenities.

The battle itself?  I get that they wanted their wow moments, and the ability to wipe out the Dothraki because . . . who the hell knows?  My guess is they don't.  But still, have they ever studied any form of medieval warfare and/or battle strategy?  Having the majority of your troops outside the walls, then being unprepared to defend once the enemy begins breaching basic defenses outside the wall?  Brilliant strategy.  NOT.

AND YOU HAVE DRAGONS!  For fuck sake you don't send a large number of your troops, mounted or not, running into the horde before you try frying that horde's front line and giving them the slightest taste of what awaits them, regardless of who or what they are.  Jumped up Jonny Christ was that the dumbest strategy of all time.

Now, individual moments that made me facepalm so hard I'm surprised I don't have a concussion.

Danny wants to mount up and go do something.  Jon decides this is the critical moment to pull her back and say, "The Night King is coming!" as if he were impersonating daddy dearest who isn't daddy dearest at all saying "Winter is Coming."  I expected Danny to turn around and say, "YA THINK?"  Of all the obvious statements to make right then, he chose that?  If I were her I would have slapped the stupid out of him, but let's face it, she only had 80 minutes and that wouldn't be nearly long enough to accomplish that task.

What the hell happened to Sam?  He'd grown so much over the past few seasons, and developed a strength that was believable in the face of ever mounting pressure and danger.  Except, now he's reverted to a hand-wringing ninny that can barely function if not for his buddy deady mcdeadguy (name telegraphed from the word go).  WTF?

And one of the dumbest scripting mistakes of all was having Tyrion remind the cryptites, and us by extension, that the show used to be enjoyable to watch and have real emotionally impact when the battles were waged.  "Remember Blackwater Bay?  When character and plot actually existed?  Because I do.  I was a part of it.  And you were there.  And you were there.  And I was awesome!  Why did I have to stop being awesome?"

Sansa (hereafter pouty mcbitchface) decides to double-down on being useless and actually SAY she's useless.  Except, not content to be singled out as useless, pouty mcbitchface includes the rest of the cryptites in ser pronouncement, making sure that we, the audience, are well aware that despite their many talents that have been developed and displayed over the years the show has existed, they are, in fact, completely useless.  Because the script demands it!  Until they aren't, which I'm guessing will be right before any one of them needs to die for reasons.

Arya's episode arc might be the dumbest thing this show has regurgitated onto our TV screens the entire time it's been on.  Super killer Wolverine can spin and twirl and kill over and over and over until she slips and falls, then suddenly she thinks she's in a shitty Blumhouse zombie flick and playing the damsel in distress.  Really just an excuse to give Beric his death scene, which was fine for that character, but I'm not quite sure why he was so concerned about Arya in that particular moment when the entire castle is being overrun, but if I start picking at that particular scab I'll be here writing all day.

So then Arya gets pep-rallied by the Red Woman who has mysteriously been able to levitate her horse over the undead horde to make it to Winterfell just in time to light the Dothraki swords on fire and send them to their certain death and then almost fail to start the trenches on fire, but this isn't about her story because we're done with this bitch after sending her away for a months long trip to do nothing.  Anyway, all it takes is some eye babble and Arya's ready to go full Wolverine again and end this shit.

The Wolverine crosses over from Marvel to DC to borrow Wonder Woman's invisible jet, which she flies so dangerously low to the ground that a wing clips the hair of one of the white walkers before she jumps out and almost lands on the Night King, but WAIT!  He's got her in the choke slam position, and rather than completing the WWE style beat-down, he smiles stupidly at her and winks, telling her it's time for her big finishing move!  KNIFE DROP!  KNIFE DROP!  KNIFE DROP!  BY GAWD KING!  Oh wait, JR isn't here to commentate, so we'll just have to pretend it was exciting and awesome on our own.

And there's the worst part of the entire episode.  With that one move, we negate eight years of build up and story telling.  It should have been Jon, so he wasn't completely useless the entire show, but it wasn't.  If it wasn't gonna be Jon, Danny would have been acceptable.  She had some form of magic.  She's invested in the Night King plot thanks to nephew broody mcbrooderson being a good lay (dead fish).  That would at least be some form of payoff, but no, gotta be Wolvaryarine in the Woods with the invisible jet.

Maybe when she returns that sucker she can borrow the magic lasso of truth and wrap characters in it to have them have epiphanies like Sansa's epiphany of her utter uselessness in the crypt?   Maybe while she's over in DC land she can ask Superman to swing by Westoros, circle the globe a few dozen times and turn us back to a time when these people came across like actual characters?

So, I ask my wife what she thinks of Arya being the one.  She says, and I'm quoting here, "She deserves it.  She's been through hell and had special training of all sorts.  She's the best warrior they've got.  She's better than Brienne, because Brienne just has normal training."

Me, being a wise man, I replied, "OK." and sat there grumbling to myself.  She kept listing reasons why Arya was the only way they could go, and I tried to stop myself from reacting.

Keep in mind she's read the books at least twice that I'm aware of, so it's not like she's a show only person.  I'm frankly baffled by it, but hey, gotta be some sort of mystery to our marriage.  Who knew it would arrive via the Ds and the Game of We Don't Know What We're Doing?

So now we sit and wait for three episodes of Cersei guzzling wine, looking smug, and everybody else pretending she's a viable threat because...oh I don't know.  She should be dead or deep in a dungeon somewhere working on getting there.  But no, she's queen because the least powerful man in the realm decreed it.  WTFever.

I've said it a couple times, but I fear the way things are laid out that they're going to have Arya die a ta Cersei's hands.  Not through the Mountain.  Not through machinations.  Arya's shows up to slit her throat and suddenly Cersei will be able to just stop her, grab the knife and kill her, because she's the bestest, most powerful psycho the universe has ever known, and she must win it all.  Period.

After Arya killing the Night King, it'd be a horrible abuse of what's left of her arc.  But Cersei's like Triple H of his era in the WWE.  No matter how big the build is for another wrestler, if they get too popular they need to job to the H man, just like anybody that gets too popular in Kings Landing needs to job to Cersei.

And the show can fade to black on her sitting on the throne, the corpses of her enemies lying at her feet, the tears of the viewers sustaining her for eternity.  Then the Ds can walk out onto the black screen, shove their middle fingers in the air and tell us a cock joke to send it off in style.

Gah.  What a disaster.

 

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Having Bran kill the NK while it wouldn't have had the hell yeah!! rapturous response from the audience, would at least make some sense, we might have gotten SOME DIALOGUE to explain the Night King and his plan/desires and then Bran can shank him, it's not as satisfying as the ninja tomboy doing it, but it would be more realistic given the story they've been telling.

I am still shocked that they totally gutted Jon Snow's entire story, making him useless to the very end and obliterating the importance of his heritage and all the prophecies the show had included.

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