Jump to content
The Fattest Leech

Rant & Rave Season 8 [Spoilers]: When you are cool like a cucumber, as evil as the mother of madness, but never as perfect as the pet!

Recommended Posts

38 minutes ago, bloodsteel bitterraven said:

An excellent analysis of what is wrong with this show by Because Geek:

 

Even die hard supporters like this lady or Smokescreen are now very critical… that tells a lot IMHO.

Chris "Smokescreen" and his partner seems downright depressed in their latest video… 

Edited by Nowy Tends

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You guys seem pretty quiet after last night, so I'll share the recap I wrote for HoBaw:

Strange name for last night's episode, which I thought should have been named 'Dracarys'. Lets go over the 'high notes' before discussing what may or may not be book spoilers.

The episode opened with a mass burning of the dead loved ones. No idea where they got all the wood or what they did with all the wights that came down from the Wall, but well, this is tv folks. Daenerys kissed Jorah's face while Sansa tearfully gave Theon a Stark pin - I'm assuming this is her way of designating that he was a Stark. Sam looked down sadly at Dolores Edd while Arya just looked at Beric Dondarrion. Jon gave a speech and then everybody got lit.

Hoping to score political capital, Daenerys dubs Gendry Rivers, Lord Gendry Baratheon of Storm's End. Gendry goes looking for Arya who he finds has been practicing her archery. Foreshadowing perhaps? Excitedly he proposes to Arya thinking now that he's a lord he's acceptable to his Lady Arya, but she gently rebuffs him saying she's 'no lady'.

Tormund tries to drum up support for Jon to become 'king', and Daenerys looks sad and jealous. When it becomes apparent she can no longer keep it together, she gets up to exit the feast leaving her Starbucks cup behind. 

Tormund tries to get close to Brienne, but is headed off by Jaime who is staking his claim. Tormund goes off to cry, but is easily comforted by a serving wench.

Jon goes in search of Daenerys. Daenerys whimpers that Jon is getting all the attention. Jon indulges Dany and insists she still has his support and loyalty. Daenerys pouts that Sansa is being a big meanie, and makes Jon swear not to tell anyone he's Aegon Targaryen.

In the war room, Sansa and Dany glare at each other. Sansa wants to give the army time to recover and get healthy, while Dany wants to march on Kings Landing. Jon makes a big display of supporting Danaerys. After everyone leaves, Arya tells Jon - bro, we need a word wit you. As Bran paternally looks on, Jon promptly tells Arya and Sansa he's Aegon, and two minutes later Sansa begins the game of telephone and pretty soon Varys and Tyrion know too.

Randomly - there's a new mysterious Prince of Dorne that Dany can count on.

Jon leaves Ghost - who is missing an ear - without even a pat on the head, then says his goodbyes to Tormund. Apparently the wildlings are going back north to settle Castle Black (what???). He next runs into Sam and Gilly who's baby bump got in the way of their hug. Sam mutters there wasn't much to do in Oldtown. Seriously? The Citadel and it's library was utterly a waste of time???

Tyrion declares Brienne a virgin during a drinking game, followed by Jaime in hot pursuit. After two nights together, Jaime misses his sister. I actually suspect they are setting Jaime up to be Cersei's valonqar.

After Brienne's bedding Jaime brags to Tyrion who begs for the dirty details. Bronn shows up and breaks Tyrion's nose. He's hedging his bets until he's certain which side will win.

Sandor is sitting alone when he's visited by two 'ghosts' - first the ghost of 'little bird' is quickly replaced by steely-eyed Sansa, then Arya magically appears and gives him a little startle. Next time we see both of them they're on horseback. I suspect they are setting up Clegane-bowl, and I'm not quite sure who or what Arya's going to shoot with a bow and arrow, but lets hope it's somebody important. I think D&D want us to believe Arya is going after Cersei, but it's a feint so they can surprise us with Jaime. Maybe Arya will shoot Maester Qyburn? Neither Sandor nor Arya expects to live through whatever their plans are.

Euron's sailing ships manage to stay in place under full sail just around the corner and out of sight at Dragonstone and shot Rhaegal right out of the sky. Daenerys played a short game of chicken before swerving away. I don't know why the hell she didn't see those ships when she was flying, or why she didn't come at them from behind. Their sails were up, so I don't think those big dragon killer crossbows would have had a clear shot if they were forced to spin around. Euron turns all his fire power on Dany's fleet and sinks them all with his arrows. Grey Worm struggles to shore and immediately searches for Missandei who has gone missing.

Euron magically appears next to Cersei in Kings Landing to give her the joyous news that he's killed a dragon, and he brought Missandei back as a gift. Cersei thanks him by saying he's her baby-daddy. Euron looks to Maester Qyburn who offers him reassurance that Cersei is telling him the truth. 

Daenerys and Tyrion sail to Kings Landing with a puny color guard to parly at the Red Keep, which magically is outside the walls of Kings Landing. Very reminiscent of Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail when King Arthur comes upon the French holding a castle. Qyburn doesn't seem open to Tyrion's pleadings so he farts in his general direction. Tyrion "bravely" walks closer to the castle so that he can reason with his sister who briefly looks away with feigned emotion. She allows Missandei final words which turn out to be a singular 'Dracarys', which I thought was supposed to be Dany's little secret signal for her dragons to "fire". So, apparently Missandei was signaling Daenerys to burn the city down. Ser Robert Strong standing in for the vicious rabbit, steps forward with his very big teeth and takes off Missandei's head. Dany and Co back away carefully.

Tyrion has to plead with Dany not to be rash, but to wait for Jon and... I cannot recall who is leading an army along side Jon! Anybody remember? There doesn't seem to be too many people left. And I cannot believe Jon left Ghost behind!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 minutes ago, Feather Crystal said:

You guys seem pretty quiet after last night, so I'll share the recap I wrote for HoBaw:

Strange name for last night's episode, which I thought should have been named 'Dracarys'. Lets go over the 'high notes' before discussing what may or may not be book spoilers.

The episode opened with a mass burning of the dead loved ones. No idea where they got all the wood or what they did with all the wights that came down from the Wall, but well, this is tv folks. Daenerys kissed Jorah's face while Sansa tearfully gave Theon a Stark pin - I'm assuming this is her way of designating that he was a Stark. Sam looked down sadly at Dolores Edd while Arya just looked at Beric Dondarrion. Jon gave a speech and then everybody got lit.

Hoping to score political capital, Daenerys dubs Gendry Rivers, Lord Gendry Baratheon of Storm's End. Gendry goes looking for Arya who he finds has been practicing her archery. Foreshadowing perhaps? Excitedly he proposes to Arya thinking now that he's a lord he's acceptable to his Lady Arya, but she gently rebuffs him saying she's 'no lady'.

Tormund tries to drum up support for Jon to become 'king', and Daenerys looks sad and jealous. When it becomes apparent she can no longer keep it together, she gets up to exit the feast leaving her Starbucks cup behind. 

Tormund tries to get close to Brienne, but is headed off by Jaime who is staking his claim. Tormund goes off to cry, but is easily comforted by a serving wench.

Jon goes in search of Daenerys. Daenerys whimpers that Jon is getting all the attention. Jon indulges Dany and insists she still has his support and loyalty. Daenerys pouts that Sansa is being a big meanie, and makes Jon swear not to tell anyone he's Aegon Targaryen.

In the war room, Sansa and Dany glare at each other. Sansa wants to give the army time to recover and get healthy, while Dany wants to march on Kings Landing. Jon makes a big display of supporting Danaerys. After everyone leaves, Arya tells Jon - bro, we need a word wit you. As Bran paternally looks on, Jon promptly tells Arya and Sansa he's Aegon, and two minutes later Sansa begins the game of telephone and pretty soon Varys and Tyrion know too.

Randomly - there's a new mysterious Prince of Dorne that Dany can count on.

Jon leaves Ghost - who is missing an ear - without even a pat on the head, then says his goodbyes to Tormund. Apparently the wildlings are going back north to settle Castle Black (what???). He next runs into Sam and Gilly who's baby bump got in the way of their hug. Sam mutters there wasn't much to do in Oldtown. Seriously? The Citadel and it's library was utterly a waste of time???

Tyrion declares Brienne a virgin during a drinking game, followed by Jaime in hot pursuit. After two nights together, Jaime misses his sister. I actually suspect they are setting Jaime up to be Cersei's valonqar.

After Brienne's bedding Jaime brags to Tyrion who begs for the dirty details. Bronn shows up and breaks Tyrion's nose. He's hedging his bets until he's certain which side will win.

Sandor is sitting alone when he's visited by two 'ghosts' - first the ghost of 'little bird' is quickly replaced by steely-eyed Sansa, then Arya magically appears and gives him a little startle. Next time we see both of them they're on horseback. I suspect they are setting up Clegane-bowl, and I'm not quite sure who or what Arya's going to shoot with a bow and arrow, but lets hope it's somebody important. I think D&D want us to believe Arya is going after Cersei, but it's a feint so they can surprise us with Jaime. Maybe Arya will shoot Maester Qyburn? Neither Sandor nor Arya expects to live through whatever their plans are.

Euron's sailing ships manage to stay in place under full sail just around the corner and out of sight at Dragonstone and shot Rhaegal right out of the sky. Daenerys played a short game of chicken before swerving away. I don't know why the hell she didn't see those ships when she was flying, or why she didn't come at them from behind. Their sails were up, so I don't think those big dragon killer crossbows would have had a clear shot if they were forced to spin around. Euron turns all his fire power on Dany's fleet and sinks them all with his arrows. Grey Worm struggles to shore and immediately searches for Missandei who has gone missing.

Euron magically appears next to Cersei in Kings Landing to give her the joyous news that he's killed a dragon, and he brought Missandei back as a gift. Cersei thanks him by saying he's her baby-daddy. Euron looks to Maester Qyburn who offers him reassurance that Cersei is telling him the truth. 

Daenerys and Tyrion sail to Kings Landing with a puny color guard to parly at the Red Keep, which magically is outside the walls of Kings Landing. Very reminiscent of Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail when King Arthur comes upon the French holding a castle. Qyburn doesn't seem open to Tyrion's pleadings so he farts in his general direction. Tyrion "bravely" walks closer to the castle so that he can reason with his sister who briefly looks away with feigned emotion. She allows Missandei final words which turn out to be a singular 'Dracarys', which I thought was supposed to be Dany's little secret signal for her dragons to "fire". So, apparently Missandei was signaling Daenerys to burn the city down. Ser Robert Strong standing in for the vicious rabbit, steps forward with his very big teeth and takes off Missandei's head. Dany and Co back away carefully.

Tyrion has to plead with Dany not to be rash, but to wait for Jon and... I cannot recall who is leading an army along side Jon! Anybody remember? There doesn't seem to be too many people left. And I cannot believe Jon left Ghost behind!

Yup it seems just as stupid hearing it this way as it did last night.

Rhaegal getting killed like that is too dumb to even discuss.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I thought dragon scales were like armor. I realize that Drogon got poked by a spear, but he mainly escaped the fighting pit unharmed. Qyburn's invention is overly powerful and somehow it's draw is easily done and quick. 

Quote

 

One man took it on himself to be a hero.

He was one of the spearmen sent out to drive the boar back to his pen. Perhaps he was drunk, or mad. Perhaps he had loved Barsena Blackhair from afar or had heard some whisper of the girl Hazzea. Perhaps he was just some common man who wanted bards to sing of him. He darted forward, his boar spear in his hands. Red sand kicked up beneath his heels, and shouts rang out from the seats. Drogon raised his head, blood dripping from his teeth. The hero leapt onto his back and drove the iron spearpoint down at the base of the dragon's long scaled neck.

Dany and Drogon screamed as one.

The hero leaned into his spear, using his weight to twist the point in deeper. Drogon arched upward with a hiss of pain. His tail lashed sideways. She watched his head crane around at the end of that long serpentine neck, saw his black wings unfold. The dragonslayer lost his footing and went tumbling to the sand. He was trying to struggle back to his feet when the dragon's teeth closed hard around his forearm. "No" was all the man had time to shout. Drogon wrenched his arm from his shoulder and tossed it aside as a dog might toss a rodent in a rat pit.

"Kill it," Hizdahr zo Loraq shouted to the other spearmen. "Kill the beast!"

"Let me go!" Dany twisted from his grasp. The world seemed to slow as she cleared the parapet. When she landed in the pit she lost a sandal. Running, she could feel the sand between her toes, hot and rough. Ser Barristan was calling after her. Strong Belwas was still vomiting. She ran faster.

The spearmen were running too. Some were rushing toward the dragon, spears in hand. Others were rushing away, throwing down their weapons as they fled. The hero was jerking on the sand, the bright blood pouring from the ragged stump of his shoulder. His spear remained in Drogon's back, wobbling as the dragon beat his wings. Smoke rose from the wound. As the other spears closed in, the dragon spat fire, bathing two men in black flame. His tail lashed sideways and caught the pitmaster creeping up behind him, breaking him in two. Another attacker stabbed at his eyes until the dragon caught him in his jaws and tore his belly out. The Meereenese were screaming, cursing, howling. Dany could hear someone pounding after her. "Drogon," she screamed. "Drogon."

His head turned. Smoke rose between his teeth. His blood was smoking too, where it dripped upon the ground. He beat his wings again, sending up a choking storm of scarlet sand. Dany stumbled into the hot red cloud, coughing. He snapped.

"No" was all that she had time to say. No, not me, don't you know me? The black teeth closed inches from her face. He meant to tear my head off. The sand was in her eyes. She stumbled over the pitmaster's corpse and fell on her backside.

Drogon roared. The sound filled the pit. A furnace wind engulfed her. The dragon's long scaled neck stretched toward her. When his mouth opened, she could see bits of broken bone and charred flesh between his black teeth. His eyes were molten. I am looking into hell, but I dare not look away. She had never been so certain of anything. If I run from him, he will burn me and devour me. In Westeros the septons spoke of seven hells and seven heavens, but the Seven Kingdoms and their gods were far away. If she died here, Dany wondered, would the horse god of the Dothraki part the grass and claim her for his starry khalasar, so she might ride the nightlands beside her sun-and-stars? Or would the angry gods of Ghis send their harpies to seize her soul and drag her down to torment? Drogon roared full in her face, his breath hot enough to blister skin. Off to her right Dany heard Barristan Selmy shouting, "Me! Try me. Over here. Me!"

In the smoldering red pits of Drogon's eyes, Dany saw her own reflection. How small she looked, how weak and frail and scared. I cannot let him see my fear. She scrabbled in the sand, pushing against the pitmaster's corpse, and her fingers brushed against the handle of his whip. Touching it made her feel braver. The leather was warm, alive. Drogon roared again, the sound so loud that she almost dropped the whip. His teeth snapped at her.

Dany hit him. "No," she screamed, swinging the lash with all the strength that she had in her. The dragon jerked his head back. "No," she screamed again. "NO!" The barbs raked along his snout. Drogon rose, his wings covering her in shadow. Dany swung the lash at his scaled belly, back and forth until her arm began to ache. His long serpentine neck bent like an archer's bow. With a hisssssss, he spat black fire down at her. Dany darted underneath the flames, swinging the whip and shouting, "No, no, no. Get DOWN!" His answering roar was full of fear and fury, full of pain. His wings beat once, twice …

… and folded. The dragon gave one last hiss and stretched out flat upon his belly. Black blood was flowing from the wound where the spear had pierced him, smoking where it dripped onto the scorched sands. He is fire made flesh, she thought, and so am I.

Daenerys Targaryen vaulted onto the dragon's back, seized the spear, and ripped it out. The point was half-melted, the iron red-hot, glowing. She flung it aside. Drogon twisted under her, his muscles rippling as he gathered his strength. The air was thick with sand. Dany could not see, she could not breathe, she could not think. The black wings cracked like thunder, and suddenly the scarlet sands were falling away beneath her.

Dizzy, Dany closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she glimpsed the Meereenese beneath her through a haze of tears and dust, pouring up the steps and out into the streets.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Feather Crystal

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I want to know why Dany didn't wait to get the Stormlords on her forces after naming a new Lord of Storm's End. She could join up with Prince Manfrey Martell, too. 

...And... since Cersei apparently has no moral qualms, why doesn't she just get her archers to shoot Dany, Jon, Tyrion, and the Unsullied? I know they have plot armour, but come on. She has a chance to kill two riders of superweapons and leave Drogon useless (and two claimants to the Seven Kingdoms. She doesn't know about Jon but why not kill the leader of the Northern forces). Them walking away at the end seems so... ridiculous.

Cersei's own plot armour could have been vanquished if Missandei chose to push her off. But oh well. We'll never know why only Missandei was the one who captured, same as the offscreen Septa Unella Extraction Mission.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A minor example of how bad the show is.  And how many of the flaws are so easy to fix.

Why didn't they have 1) Jon find out he's a Targ.....this is the impetus for him to try to ride Rhaegal....because it is needed for battle, 2) he rides Rhaegal in the battle....3) which can surprise Dany and be a clue to her that Jon may not be who she thought he was.  This all flows much better, it gives a reason why Jon would need to know his heritage before the battle and it omits both Dany and Jon being so stupid about dragon riding.

Of course it would have omitted the filler of waterfall dragon riding sexy time, but you can't have everything.  And the way the show did it there was no reason why Jon thinks he can ride a dragon or why needed to know his heritage before the battle.  Everyone is stupider and things more random.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What an abomination of a show. I have no words. I don't know how did I manage to watch so far after I read the books. I'll just numbly see what happens in next two weeks and be done with it.

For me, this was the worst episode ever in the show, and that says something. 

-Jon abandoning Ghost in such a fashion.

-Tyrion doesn't know his sister. Yet.

-Zero warfare knowledge by the creators. Ask an expert for once, if you have no clue about it. 

-Daenerys riding with two dragons just for the sake of the plot.

-Wildlings going back to beyond the Wall after eight years of trying to integrate in the Seven Kingdoms.

Utter nonsense, out of character, bad writing. Terrible. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, The Sunland Lord said:

-Daenerys riding with two dragons just for the sake of the plot. 

Euron has better aim than the Night King now -- well, only when Rhaegal is concerned. All his fleet can strike Rhaegal with fatal blows, but none of them hit the only dragon that has to be plot relevant! 

Oh, and despite Dany's side being the only force in Westeros to have any sort of aerial advantage, the dragons and the Targaryen fleet are caught off guard by the Greyjoys at the same time. What a hot mess. :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Vaith said:

Oh, and despite Dany's side being the only force in Westeros to have any sort of aerial advantage, the dragons and the Targaryen fleet are caught off guard by the Greyjoys at the same time. What a hot mess. :P

Not surprising: according to the writers Dany "kind of forgot about Urine's fleet"… :rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Nowy Tends said:

Not surprising: according to the writers Dany "kind of forgot about Urine's fleet"… :rolleyes:

...despite the prior fleet having Varys mention the Iron Fleet being stationed in Blackwater Bay. Oh Dany. :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

WOW! This is from the D. B. Weiss French Wikipedia page:

Daniel Brett Weiss [ˈdænjəl bɹɛt waɪs]1, né le 23 avril 1971 à Chicago, est un scénariste et écrivain américain. Spécialisé dans l'écriture pour jeux vidéo, il a écrit le roman Video Games qui a été publié en 2003. Il est connu pour avoir ruiné avec David Benioff la série télévisée Game of Thrones.

 

Last sentence, bolded by me, translates to: he is known to have ruined, along with David Benioff, the TV series Game of Thrones

 

 

  • La dernière modification de cette page a été faite le 7 mai 2019 à 09:44. >>> the page was edited this morning. Not by me!
Edited by Nowy Tends

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know we still have *two WHOLE* episodes to go (!!) and it may not be the most ridiculous of the dropped plot points, but seeing how they even had Dany discuss her inability to conceive with Jon (which I think everyone is skeptical of, including Jon!!!!!).

 

Is this not going to develop into anything either? She just goes crazy and her advisers plot to overthrow her while Jon heroically and heartbreakingly dispatches Dany so that she doesn't burn KL? I feel like that's where we're headed. And maybe that's where the books end up a well but NOT LIKE THIS! :tantrum:

Edited by IKnowNothing

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, IKnowNothing said:

I know we still have *two WHOLE* episodes to go (!!) and it may not be the most ridiculous of the dropped plot points, but seeing how they even had Dany discuss her inability to conceive with Jon (which I think everyone is skeptical of, including Jon!!!!!).

 

Is this not going to develop into anything either? She just goes crazy and her advisers plot to overthrow her while Jon heroically and heartbreakingly dispatches Dany so that she doesn't burn KL? I feel like that's where we're headed. And maybe that's where the books end up a well but NOT LIKE THIS! :tantrum:

Or this or after she burns KL she starts accusing everyone for treason, which at this point wouldn’t be a lie, but still perhaps she goes too far and John executes her. I know it’s very very bad ending but it matches what Emilia Clark said about her role to Vanity Fair 

It f----d me up,” she told Vanity Fair. “Knowing that is going to be a lasting flavor in someone’s mouth of what Daenerys is. . .”

http://www.adventuresinpoortaste.com/2018/05/23/emilia-clarke-on-daenerys-targaryens-final-scene-in-game-of-thrones-it-fucked-me-up/

Edited by Nightwish

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, Feather Crystal said:

Apparently the wildlings are going back north to settle Castle Black (what???)

Tiny detail, but they are going through Castle black. It's the only way to get back north - apart from through the feckin' great hole, but that's out by Eastwatch; Castle Black is much closer.

I thought it in keeping with the allies' utter idiocy re. war strategy that Dany didn't think to recce Captain Pugwash's fleet so the bolt hitting Rhaegal before anyone knew what was happening worked for me. However, yes she could have flown Drogon up and out of range, get behind the fleet before the boats could turn and wipe them out. She didn't because D&D are just as tactically ignorant as their characters.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was able to enjoy the first three episodes for some scenes, ignoring awful written dialogue, giant plotholes, going through a necessary scene to adress something (like Jaime's trial) to lampshade it. I laughed at the BS and otherwise was not emotionally upset. But epi 4 just hurt. They made every arc just awful. It's like the writers ARE Ramsay fucking over every damn character, including Carol by making her stupid not to murder everyone standing before her wall. WTF!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, sweetsunray said:

including Carol by making her stupid not to murder everyone standing before her wall. WTF!

She needs to put a scorpion bolt through your autocorrect :lmao:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, House Cambodia said:

She needs to put a scorpion bolt through your autocorrect :lmao:

Huh?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, House Cambodia said:

You wrote "Carol" instead of 'Cercei'.

On purpose... That's how we call show-Cersei who "lurves her children".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, House Cambodia said:

You wrote "Carol" instead of 'Cercei'.

Show Cersei is so unlike book Cersei that she’s Carol. Sansa is Sandra, Jaime is Larry. And so on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...