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Vikings XII: It's not History, It's Hirstory [SPOILERS]


GallowKnight

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19 minutes ago, GallowKnight said:

I don't think sword-in-hand was ever a requirement for Valhalla in Vikings, combat-related death is enough. In fact, I can't think of that many other viking related stories other than The Saxon Tales/The Last Kingdom where sword-in-hand is required for Valhalla.

Ah.  That would make sense.

I think I have read / see the must die with weapon in hand elsewhere too, but that doesn't necessarily make it so either.

https://www.quora.com/In-what-cases-in-Viking-history-is-dying-with-a-sword-in-hand-required-to-enter-Valhalla

 

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That was basically the Gabriel Bryne's funeral from season one, but stretched into an entire episode, way way more overdone and infinitely less interesting.

Torvi wants to sacrifice herself as part of the funeral and follow Lagertha into the afterlife, but is prevented from it. Too bad.

I also wonder if the show is going to start treating Lagertha the same way it did St Athelstan?

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8 hours ago, dbunting said:

I haven't watched an episode this year, have them all on dvr. Without giving anything away, is it worth a watch? Is this the final season so I can watch it as closure?

Ragnar’s death, poor as the preceding season and a half was, was a good place to end for closure’s sake. Its still fun following these threads and seeing the odd video clip crop up in my youtube recommendations though. And ocassionally i actively seek out clips because the write up/commentary here is just so unbelieveable i almost don’t believe the show would do (whatever it is). Always proved wrong though...

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17 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said:

Ragnar’s death, poor as the preceding season and a half was, was a good place to end for closure’s sake. Its still fun following these threads and seeing the odd video clip crop up in my youtube recommendations though. And ocassionally i actively seek out clips because the write up/commentary here is just so unbelieveable i almost don’t believe the show would do (whatever it is). Always proved wrong though...

Oh, you're gonna love this.

 

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What ... was that?

Also, since when did Tovi give a rat's ass about Legartha?

So, it was Hirst's Vikings from which D&D got all their ideas of hey we think this looks cool so we're gonna do this instead of making sense!

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Judging by the likes and comments in the video, this scene was well received, and we're all a bunch of snobs. :D What's funny is seeing people poop all over GoT season 8 in the comments while praising Vikings. haha, when will they learn?

I'm actually fine with the poetic imagery of Lagertha joining Ragnar, and being surrounded by Valkyrie, but if that child really did see all that, she needs to be taken immediately off whatever drugs the writing is giving her.

2 hours ago, Zorral said:

So, it was Hirst's Vikings from which D&D got all their ideas of hey we think this looks cool so we're gonna do this instead of making sense!

I don't know, but it appears Hirst was inspired by D&D to create his own Viking scorpion, and to disappear animals and people from a scene. The random volley of fire arrows and scorpion bolts apparently served to break up the ice. :lol:

And again, it's winter. @GallowKnight Where was Lagertha before travelling to the Cat's Gate fake town in winter?

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But what was the point of breaking up the ice?  It isn't as though the ship was going out to sea.  It just burned in the ice.  And breaking up the ice with that long hauling team of human beings and horses -- they could drown!  Human sacrifice? 

Also I forget, so long ago now -- was there a kid who was drowned or drowned or something under the ice in one of the earlier seasons?  But I remember nothing as to who did it, or who it was, or if it actually took place.

This is a lot of words to say that nothing about this made any sense, including Tovi being heartbroken Lagertha is dead.

It's so weird ... by and large, Hirst did a quite magnificent job with The Tudors.  There were mis-steps, but even the non-historical parts such as losing one of Hal's sisters and marrying the other -- why though? one must ask -- to the King of Portugal instead of the French King Lous XII -- in terms just story-telling it made a story that made sense.  And the longer the length of time since it was made, a re-watch shows just what an achievement The Tudors was.  So what the eff happened to Hirst?  Or with The Tudors did he give most of the story-boarding and writing to others, not himself?

 

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7 hours ago, Zorral said:

What ... was that?

Also, since when did Tovi give a rat's ass about Legartha?

Torvi helped Lagertha invade Kattegat back in season 4, so since then I guess. And Lagertha was the grandmother of Torvi's kids with Bjorn, so them being really tight makes sense

5 hours ago, Corvinus said:

And again, it's winter. @GallowKnight Where was Lagertha before travelling to the Cat's Gate fake town in winter?

Lagertha retired from sheildmaidening for about 15 minutes and moved out to some farm, then she had to help some nearby villagers was being attacked by bandits. So that's where she was before going to Kattegat.

3 hours ago, Zorral said:

Also I forget, so long ago now -- was there a kid who was drowned or drowned or something under the ice in one of the earlier seasons?  But I remember nothing as to who did it, or who it was, or if it actually took place.

Siggy drowned while saving Ubbe and Hvitserk back in season 3.

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7 minutes ago, GallowKnight said:

Torvi helped Lagertha invade Kattegat back in season 4, so since then I guess. And Lagertha was the grandmother of Torvi's kids with Bjorn, so them being really tight makes sense

Lagertha retired from sheildmaidening for about 15 minutes and moved out to some farm, then she had to help some nearby villagers was being attacked by bandits. So that's where she was before going to Kattegat.

Siggy drowned while saving Ubbe and Hvitserk back in season 3.

Ah.  Thank you.  So it wasn't her.  So ... wtf?

Though gotta say those underwater equines that are somehow Valkyries? taking Lagertha to Valhalla? look a whole lot like that white horse that Hal VIII sees while dying for endless minutes in the last episode of the final season of The Tudor.  But instead of water, he got stars, millions and billions of sparkling stars.  Whatever that meant.  Hirst took all the writing credit for that episode . . .  which is probably the worst episode of the entire 4 seasons. Nothing can or could make Hal's reign, life and person heroic or make us feel loss and sorrow.  All we wanted for years was for him to die, and thereby save many many many other people from dying in horrible and terrible ways. But he didn't die.  Until the run of the seasons was shut off.

More to the point was Hal he got painted by Holbein in the manner in which he demanded and that was his immortality.  I guess.

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12 minutes ago, Zorral said:

Ah.  Thank you.  So it wasn't her.  So ... wtf?

Well Ubbe and Hvitserk fell through the ice and then she saved them before dying, so that could be what you remembered. And Kevin Durand's wanderer was involved somehow.

Bjorn's first daughter (also named Siggy IIRC) also drowned, but that was in a stream I think.

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I bailed on this a few weeks ago and I almost never do that. As penance for past wrongs i tend to stay with awful shows until the end. But I don;t think that I've ever done anything bad enough in my larcenous life to warrant this type of cruel and unusual punishment... Although i should have known better, i was hoping that they'd self-correct for their final season, and not suck as much as the past few seasons... but nope.... Ivar and the Russian dude tandem hang gliding just might be the dumbest thing I've seen in a long, long time.... Jesus Rae Dawn Christ what were they thinking? 

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Isn’t Valhalla generally more related to Asgard, located in the sky, rather than underwater which i believe is associated with Rán and those who die at sea? Wouldn’t it make more sense for these “valkyries” to be raising her up to Valhalla? I know sources on Norse mythos are patchy at best but pretty sure that is the level of knowledge any regular audience member would have. F

we also had Ragnar running towards the gates in season 4 iirc though i actually don’t recall if we ever see “Valhalla” itself. 

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That was one boring hour of television.

I don't get why anyone would want Bjorn as their king. He constantly makes stupid decisions, he's a awful tactician and he seems to lose most battles he's in. On top of that he's a terrible husband and father. Completely uninspiring stuff.

It does not help that Alexander Ludwig once again dives headfirst into his bad Ragnar Lothbrok-impression.

Why would you sail to Iceland in the middle of fucking winter? And how does they manage to get there completely unscathed? I can't wait for whatever boring crap is going to happen there.

If your a Russian and you're going to invade Scandinavia, why would you even go after Norway when Sweden is right fucking there and is way more accessible from the east than any part of Norway? But instead a Russian raiding goes to Vestfold, a place where you'd first have to pass both Sweden and Denmark, and makes their first attack. Also where the fuck in Norway is Kattegat supposed to be. Because if it is in the western part the attack is even stupider than I thought. It's good for Oleg and Ivar that Bjorn is a fucking idiot.

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