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Why was Lyanna Stark willingly married to Rhaegar when he had not divorced Elia Martell?


Alexander Leonard

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1 hour ago, Ygrain said:

Yes, it IS about hindsight. Because expecting consequences =/= expecting Brandon Stark to ride to KL and yell "come out and die". If the matter had been left in Rickard's hands, he could have sent a message via the raven, and Aerys could have burnt the scroll all he wanted.

No. Everyone in the tourney saw that it was trouble.

"Ned remembered the moment when all the smiles died, when Prince Rhaegar Targaryen urged his horse past his own wife, the Dornish princess Elia Martell, to lay the queen of beauty’s laurel in Lyanna’s lap. He could see it still: a crown of winter roses, blue as frost"

1 hour ago, Ygrain said:

And since you mention Robb and Jeyne yourself, it is exactly the same scenario: it causes a problematic situation and Freys can be reasonably expected to stop supporting him and even turning their cloaks to fight on the Lannister side. No-one in their right sense, though, could or should have expected the response that actually took place, that was far out of proportion.

Yes I agree, but still a very poor decision.

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18 minutes ago, Arthur Peres said:

Aerys is what by that time ? 40 ? Even if he died right away falling from the latter Rhaegar is still very young and healthy. how much time until he dies? 40? 50? by this time how many kids does Aegon VI has? Lyanna's child has very few chances to take the crow.

All true. But still true also, is that if a single heartbeat fails some time within the next twenty or so years (before he gets heirs of his own), a Stark grandson will one day sit the throne. 
His chance is very much more likely than many who have sat before him.
Plus you've got the chance of a daughter, to be wed to Aegon, and a Stark great grandson sitting the throne.

18 minutes ago, Arthur Peres said:

yep, because this show how insulted the Starks were... "Rhaegar come out and die" is not a reaction you take over something that was light.

Brandon was not exactly rational, and his his own personal beef with Rhaegar (who had beaten him in the greatest tourney is history).
We don't know what Brandon's issues or thought processes are. But it does look like projection. Brandon being enraged because he suspects Rhaegar of doing to his sister what he did to Lady Barbrey - suspecting that because its how he operates, not because of anything Rhaegar has done.

18 minutes ago, Arthur Peres said:

Complement? It was a huge insult as Brandon reaction shows it. And settled? Rhaegar run away for months and let his crazy father to deal with the situation. 

To take a daughter to wife, is a compliment, yes.

Try thinking for a bit about what we are discussing, what could have or should have happened, not what did happen.

18 minutes ago, Arthur Peres said:

Had he stayed to deal with his own mess I could agree with your point but this is not something Rhaegar did.

I've answered that already.

18 minutes ago, Arthur Peres said:

Polligamy wasn't common even for targs, and ancient targs could get away with a lot more bs because they had dragons. Times have changed and Rhaegar "the hammered" learned the hard way.

Once more, you are arguing from the 'future' of the point of discussion. Try arguing from the 'now' instead.
The fact remains that it was legal, and a real option for Rhaegar. He may have misjudged the repercussions, but we'll never know, because the actual repercussions were all about Brandon, not Lyanna or any polygamous marriage.

18 minutes ago, Arthur Peres said:

I remember some pov saying that Robert joked about it, but I pretty sure it was someone that wasn't at the tourney, Eddard remembers it very diferently.

"Ned remembered the moment when all the smiles died, when Prince Rhaegar Targaryen urged his horse past his own wife, the Dornish princess Elia Martell, to lay the queen of beauty’s laurel in Lyanna’s lap. He could see it still: a crown of winter roses, blue as frost"

 

Thats not differently. All that tells us is that it was a surprise and shock. And there were many potential implications to many people, most of which would be wrong.

Frankly, I believe that while this was absolutely true from Ned's point of view, it is almost impossible it is the literal truth overall. For many, it would have no significant meaning, other than surprise. For some (there are always some) it would surely invoke a smile as they see gains in it for themselves. For Brandon and Ned, there were deeper serious implications, which may or may not have been true at that time. 

What we don't see, is any specific response from Elia (or Lyanna actually). I don't think Ned's line covers her (them) in truth. (I expect Lyanna was as shocked and surprised as everyone else).

What we also don't see is any hint of a division between Elia and Rhaegar at this time or in the next 6 months or so. There is no court gossip, no other memories or hints of any other indication that something was brewing until after the 'abduction', which seems to have come as a surprise to all. And after Brandon acts, we don't even hear of Lyanna  or the abduction again until the end of the war.

 

From AWoIaF

Quote
And when the triumphant Prince of Dragonstone named Lyanna Stark, daughter of the Lord of Winterfell, the queen of love and beauty, placing a garland of blue roses in her lap with the tip of his lance, the lickspittle lords gathered around the king declared that further proof of his perfidy. Why would the prince have thus given insult to his own wife, the Princess Elia Martell of Dorne (who was present), unless it was to help him gain the Iron Throne? The crowning of the Stark girl, who was by all reports a wild and boyish young thing with none of the Princess Elia's delicate beauty, could only have been meant to win the allegiance of Winterfell to Prince Rhaegar's cause, Symond Staunton suggested to the king.
 
Yet if this were true, why did Lady Lyanna's brothers seem so distraught at the honor the prince had bestowed upon her? Brandon Stark, the heir to Winterfell, had to be restrained from confronting Rhaegar at what he took as a slight upon his sister's honor, for Lyanna Stark had long been betrothed to Robert Baratheon, Lord of Storm's End. Eddard Stark, Brandon's younger brother and a close friend to Lord Robert, was calmer but no more pleased. As for Robert Baratheon himself, some say he laughed at the prince's gesture, claiming that Rhaegar had done no more than pay Lyanna her due...but those who knew him better say the young lord brooded on the insult, and that his heart hardened toward the Prince of Dragonstone from that day forth.

So we see some people seizing on it as a political act and opportunity to make gains for themselves at court. No suggestion of any impropriety of dishonour there.
We see the Stark boys being upset - but only the hothead projector Brandon seeing it as an insult. We can't tell why Ned is displeased. Could be political, could be he agrees with Brandon, could be he knows about the KotLT and is worried about the attention being dangerous. 
Robert's response is reported in two ways. Frankly, the laugh it off sounds more like Robert's character, and there is no indication that those who say so were not present, indeed its likely they were, as Maester Yandel would be more likely to talk to people who were there than not when writing his book. I look at the second option and see a strong possibility of Yandel writing that only because his target audience is modern Robert and his heirs, so he needs to show Robert with a more suitable response, even though many who were there actually saw otherwise.
 

 

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16 hours ago, Arthur Peres said:

Rhaegar ruined a match that Rickard planned, suiled his daughter in the process and in the best case scenario he gets a grandson third in line for the throne with very few chances to become king.

Keep in mind that Rhaegar had only one son with Elia, and from all accounts it risked her life to attempt any more children after the birth of Aegon. Keep in mind as well that a man's sons come before his daughters. Therefore, Jon would have been right behind his elder half brother Aegon in the line of succession. I am not one of those that believes Aegon was in on Rhaegar's plot, and I am sure that Rickard was upset when he heard what happened. But all things considered, Rhaegar being able to offer that any sons of his and Lyanna's would come right after his lone son with Elia wouldn't have been insignificant. Especially if Rickard's matching Lyanna with Robert, the closest and most recent kin of House Targaryen through Egg's daughter Rhaelle, had been intended as a stepping stone to see their children, his descendants, wed with Targaryens.

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50 minutes ago, corbon said:

So, no evidence, just opinion, opinion, opinion.

Meh, I very much will concede that there is a possibility that Ellia was totally on board with with Rheagar's plans-I just find it unlikely given the massive shame it would entail on her and possible threat to her children it would entail. 

 

53 minutes ago, corbon said:

And not well founded opinion either. The Faith does accept Targaryen polygamy, through the doctrine of Exceptionalism. All of the Targaryen line is descended through not only a second polygamous wife but an incestuous second Targaryen wife. But they are all considered legitimate.

No it wasn't. Aegon I was granted an exception because he was a foreigner queer to their ways and already married before he set foot in Westeros. When Maegor took on a second wife he did not have his father's excuse, Alys Hightower was recognized by the faith as being Maegor's only legal wife. His  multiple marriages afterward was never recognized as legitimate,Seriously, there's a reason over two and a half centuries we don't hear anymore of Targyen men marrying multiple wives. It simply was never approved. Hell theres a reason jaerys never is seen as even contemplating giving one of his son multiple sister-wives. Targyen exceptionalism simply was not seen as covering polygamy. "The Doctrine of Exceptionalism's basic tenet was simple: the Faith of the Seven had been born in Andalos of old, where the laws laid down by the Seven in the holy texts decreed that incest was an abomination. The Doctrine of Exceptionalism confirmed this, but with one caveat: the Targaryens were not like other men as they rode dragons and were the only ones in the world since the Doom of Valyria. In addition, they did not have their roots in Andalos, but in Valyria, where different laws and traditions held sway. The Targaryens wed brother to sister as the Valyrians had always done, and as the gods had made them this way, it was not for men to judge. The Seven Speakers preached the doctrine throughout Westeros." 

 

1 hour ago, corbon said:

Take Rhaegar and Lyanna out of the picture and you have a much safer process, with the two parties involved actually agreeing in principle.

Take Rheagar out of the picture, you have the houses that insulted only having the abiity to seek redress with a violent madman, ever eager to kill at the slighest prospect of there being a threat to him.

1 hour ago, Ygrain said:

don't possess TWOIAF but I don't recall anyone mentioning Aerys lashing against the most powerful houses in the realm when they had done nothing wrong; feel free to correct me if that ever happened.

 Also, since we don't know the why/how/etc., it is really hard to argue what Rhaegar could have expected or not.

7 hours ago, zoenerys said:

I recall Aerys torturing, burning, and killing people off his paranoia of people being threats to his life. I see it unreasonble to expect any sort of protest that would be heard by Aerys would be met with a peaceful reaction by the madman. 2 great houses have expressed grievances with house House Targyen. Given Aery's present mental state, that really could been all it took.

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7 minutes ago, Bael's Bastard said:

Keep in mind that Rhaegar had only one son with Elia, and from all accounts it risked her life to attempt any more children after the birth of Aegon.

It's not even that her life was going to be put at risk. She was essentially done having children after Aegon was born.

After the birth of Princess Rhaenys, her mother had been bedridden for half a year, and Prince Aegon's birth had almost been the death of her. She would bear no more children, the maesters told Prince Rhaegar afterward. (The Griffin Reborn, ADWD 61)

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2 hours ago, corbon said:

Brandon was not exactly rational, and his his own personal beef with Rhaegar (who had beaten him in the greatest tourney is history).

Nor was Rhaegar.

2 hours ago, corbon said:

To take a daughter to wife, is a compliment, yes.

Even if I was inclined to give him credit(I'm not) there is a process to walk in. You know, go to the north, talk with Rickard, explain how things will fold, ask for Lyanna's hand and get the answer there. Rhaegar runned away without any explanation. This is not a rational either. Brandon's reaction is just the highlight of how offended the Starks were.

2 hours ago, corbon said:

 We don't know what Brandon's issues or thought processes are. But it does look like projection. Brandon being enraged because he suspects Rhaegar of doing to his sister what he did to Lady Barbrey - suspecting that because its how he operates, not because of anything Rhaegar has done.

1-Barbrey wasn't betrothed to anyone when Brandon sleep with her.

2- Brandon wasn't married yet.

And even if I give you this argument. Brandon being a hypocrite won't clean up Rhaegar's mess.

 

 

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On 2/12/2019 at 2:24 AM, Varysblackfyre321 said:

So Stannis’ claims don’t matter. Renly never contended his blood claim triumphed Stannis’ or the children of Cersi. He could neither prove them, and even if he could Renly has shown to his followers  he has no problem skipping the line of succession when it suits him. There is no reason for Renly to pretend. In his eyes Stannis would be dead in a day.

Renly wants the support of stormlander bannermen. If one of them wants to remove Joffrey from the throne and replace him with someone else, but Joffrey's legitimacy isn't in dispute, then he's abandoning any legal justification in favor of might makes right and also has no reason to prefer Stannis over Renly unless Stannis has more might available to overthrow Joffrey. If Joffrey illegitimate, then Stannis has a claim to the throne that Renly lacks and a bannerman has a reason to prefer Stannis. If enough of them were swayed by that reason to support Stannis, then Renly's advantage in numbers would also be diminished.

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5 hours ago, Arthur Peres said:

Nor was Rhaegar.

You just don't understand or agree with his rational. You also don;t have the data he did.
There is no indication he was acting or thinking irrationally, and that wasn't his character. Whereas Brandon is a known hothead, even in his own family.

5 hours ago, Arthur Peres said:

Even if I was inclined to give him credit(I'm not) there is a process to walk in. You know, go to the north, talk with Rickard, explain how things will fold, ask for Lyanna's hand and get the answer there.

That works in some circumstances, not in others. This is definitely likely to be an other. Rhaegar and possibly Lyanna might want the match, but that doesn't mean Rickard is willing to change his mind.

5 hours ago, Arthur Peres said:

Rhaegar runned away without any explanation. This is not a rational either.

We don't know that at all. Certainly Brandon learned something from somewhere? What? From whom? And why was there no reaction discernible from Rickard? What did he know, if anything? And where was that information from?

Its entirely possible that there were communications from Rhaegar to Rickard that we don't know about yet. 

5 hours ago, Arthur Peres said:

Brandon's reaction is just the highlight of how offended the Starks were.

No, it highlights how offended Brandon was. Neither Ned or Rickard reacted this way. Rickard doesn't seem to have even brought it up at all - we have literally no known reaction from him at all.
We don't have any reaction at the time from Ned either. What we do get from Ned is an apparently unreasonably (given the 'abduction') high level of respect for Rhaegar, indicating that Ned, either before or after (due to information he learned later) did not blame Rhaegar for everything. Perhaps you should think about that and factor it into your own thinking, rather than form an opposite opinion based on virtually no knowledge at all.

5 hours ago, Arthur Peres said:

1-Barbrey wasn't betrothed to anyone when Brandon sleep with her.

2- Brandon wasn't married yet.

Which is still far worse. 
Brandon 'ruined' Barbrey, taking her maidenhood and not wedding her.
Its not at all certain Rhaegar did anything dishonourable to Lyanna at all yet.

5 hours ago, Arthur Peres said:

And even if I give you this argument. Brandon being a hypocrite won't clean up Rhaegar's mess.

No one said it would. This part of the discussion is simply assessing whether Brandon's reaction is based on the facts, or on his own projections and insecurities.

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7 hours ago, corbon said:

You just don't understand or agree with his rational. You also don;t have the data he did.
There is no indication he was acting or thinking irrationally, and that wasn't his character. Whereas Brandon is a known hothead, even in his own family.

No, you think you understand him. I never claimed I did, and his actions were mad. He left a mess behind him starting the chain of events that finished his dynisty.

7 hours ago, corbon said:

That works in some circumstances, not in others. This is definitely likely to be an other. Rhaegar and possibly Lyanna might want the match, but that doesn't mean Rickard is willing to change his mind.

So you do agree that the answer would be a flat, "hell no" ?

Why do you think Rickard would take this as a complement then? Also, Varysblackfyre321 just posted a great explanation that polligamy would not be tolerated.

7 hours ago, corbon said:

We don't know that at all. Certainly Brandon learned something from somewhere? What? From whom? And why was there no reaction discernible from Rickard? What did he know, if anything? And where was that information from?

We do know it. He(Rhaegar) stayed missed from the realm during most of the rebellion only returning before the Trident.

7 hours ago, corbon said:

Its entirely possible that there were communications from Rhaegar to Rickard that we don't know about yet. 

Now this is you trying to give Rhaegar a clean slate that he doesn't have. You're the one going with your own theories instead of facts. Rhaegar shitted the bed and refused to deal with it.

7 hours ago, corbon said:

No, it highlights how offended Brandon was. Neither Ned or Rickard reacted this way. Rickard doesn't seem to have even brought it up at all - we have literally no known reaction from him at all.
 We don't have any reaction at the time from Ned either. What we do get from Ned is an apparently unreasonably (given the 'abduction') high level of respect for Rhaegar, indicating that Ned, either before or after (due to information he learned later) did not blame Rhaegar for everything. Perhaps you should think about that and factor it into your own thinking, rather than form an opposite opinion based on virtually no knowledge at all.

Considering that Ned went on to rebel and depose the entire dinasty I can safely assume he was not pleased by Rhaegar actions and their consequences. 

Ned does not show Rhaegar any respect or disrespect. He does not say anything bad of Aerys either, would you say that he cared about the mad kings? He did take Jaime for a Kingslayer and oathbreaker and had issues with his murder after all.

Eddard stayed silent went Robert cursed Rhaegar, to compare a similar situation Barristan did not do the same when Dany bad mounthed Eddard and Arys also did not when Arianne cursed Robert.

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Grrr, I've just lost a  long post responding to several points, and I don't have the time to do it all over again, so my apologies for the brevity.

On polygamy:

- unlike incest, it was not a regular custom even pre-conquest, Aegon's marriage to both his sisters was unusual

- in some regions of pre-conquest Westeros, polygamy was possible

- there were several attempts at polygamy post-conquest, meaning it was never expressly banned

- GRRM stated that "there was and is precedent" for polygamy

 

On Rhaegar's supposed madness and cowardice and the outcome of his supposed abduction of Lyanna:

- no character in the books, not even Robert, describes him as such

- there is not clearcut connection between the abduction and the atrocities that led to the outbreak of the Rebellion. Aerys' cruelty and madness had never been directed at the highest-ranking noblemen of the realm before, with the exception of the Darklynn where he had a valid reason (and who were not lords Paramount, anyway). 

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In the show version it says that Rheagar had a Septon annulled his marriage with Elia Martell but she knew nothing about it.  The Mad King call back Elia Martell to King Lannding because the Dorne lost a major battle. The Mad King had sent his wife and son to DragonStone but change his mind with Rheagar's wife and children to stay at King Lannding. This BS because in the book canon only KING can setside his wife and Rheagar is not a KING!  No Septa have the power to this. In the books it believe that Rheagar was plan to have two wives at the same time only Targaryens are allowed to this. With annulments in Kingdoms you only thrown your wife not the children who born to it.  Damon try to setside his first wife because lack of children but his brother who was King said NO!.

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On 2/5/2019 at 1:52 PM, Alexander Leonard said:

Maegor took his many wives against their will (I suspect Aegon did so with Rhaenys too). But it is odd when Lyanna willingly wanted to become the second wife of a man. She didn't want to marry Robert because she suspected he would have other girlfriends, and then she herself married a man who officially had another wife?

This Question is always pop up Rheagar never cheat on his wife Elia Martell and Robert Batheron already had a bastard and jump in and out beds whores, peasants, cousins, maids, servant women etc.   If you a choice which one will you pick?  I believe he loves Lyanna but very fond of Elia Martell. I think it will work out.

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On ‎2‎/‎5‎/‎2019 at 8:01 PM, FictionIsntReal said:

The last Targaryen to act like the rules permitted him multiple wives was Maegor, and he united practically the whole realm against him. Since then even Targaryens with completely miserable marriages haven't added on additional wives. Unwin Peake allegedly had Jaehaera killed so his daughter could marry Aegon III (it didn't work). Aegon IV despised his legitimate son but only legitimized his bastards on his deathbed rather than take on an additional wife (oh how the Brackens & Blackwoods would have competed for that) to have a legitimate heir with.

ps sir or miss the reason why no other Targaryens King have taken other wife because there NO NEED for IT.  All the Kings had heirs but one because he was Asexual he doesn't sex with anyone. I believe that King made his Nephew or Cousin his heir.  Look all the Kings that sit on throne you will see.  The reason why Rheager wanted a second wife and yes he love Lyanna,  but he wanted third child.

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On 2/8/2019 at 5:23 AM, Geddus said:

Actually, at the time of Lyanna's complaints to Ned, Robert had done no such thing: he had slept with a woman when he wasn't betrothed, that's not "jumping from one bed to another and back again". And, if Lyanna went with Rhaegar willingly, she's indeed a raging hypocrite (which is quite normal for a lovestruck teenager).

Sir he already a bastard if that don't raise alarm bells look the fact he had 20 children that was not with his wife.  If you read the books Cersi did sleep with Jamie on her wedding dress but it wasn't until Robert started to sleep his cousin at House Estmount that she decide that all her children will be with Jamie.  It was punishment for Robert.

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On 2/14/2019 at 6:41 AM, Free Northman Reborn said:

Because, as foreshadowed by Arriane’s infatuation with Gerold Dayne, Elia the Dornish princess, was in love with Arthur Dayne, who fathered both her children. This is probably the sole reason Martin gave the Daynes Valyrian features, to pass off Arthur Dayne’s kids as Targs.

Aerys did say that Elia’s kids smelt Dornish, and Martin also said there is more to learn about the “honorable” Arthur Dayne.

This would make Arthur dying to defend Rhaegar’s true son while his own children were being murdered in King’s Landing incredibly poignant - the ultimate act of redemption for the “greatest knight (not just swordsman) that Ned ever knew.

And would go quite some way to justify Rhaegar and Lyanna’s actions.

That’s my theory, at least.

Wait minute you saying that Elia Martell's children were Arthur Dayne? What!  Daynes are not Valyrians they are from the First Men. They are very old house.

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2 hours ago, Sophia [email protected] said:

Sir he already a bastard if that don't raise alarm bells look the fact he had 20 children that was not with his wife.  If you read the books Cersi did sleep with Jamie on her wedding dress but it wasn't until Robert started to sleep his cousin at House Estmount that she decide that all her children will be with Jamie.  It was punishment for Robert.

Wrong, it's never said that Cersei started to sleep with Jaime after finding about Robert and his cheatings, she just like to think that this was when Joffrey was conceived.

As soon as Cersei closed her eyes, the king would steal off to console the poor lonely creature. One night she had Jaime follow him, to confirm her suspicions. When her brother returned he asked her if she wanted Robert dead. “No,” she had replied, “I want him horned.” She liked to think that was the night when Joffrey was conceived.

in fact Robert did tried to give this marriage a chance and was constatly ignored, and Cersei sleept with Jaime from the earlier years of their marriage.

In the early years of their marriage, Robert was forever imploring her to hunt with him, but Cersei had always begged off. His hunting trips allowed her time with Jaime. Golden days and silver nights. It was a dangerous dance that they had danced, to be sure. Eyes and ears were everywhere within the Red Keep, and one could never be certain when Robert would return. Somehow the peril had only served to make their times together that much more thrilling.

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On 2/14/2019 at 1:16 PM, Bael's Bastard said:

Lord Darklyn's men shoved, stripped, struck, and pulled Aerys's beard while in captivity

The turning point in history.  They went Three Stooges on Aerys.  

Vast maester conspiracy to kill magic,  counter conspiracy to combine magic bloodlines,  the oddness of abducting Aerys and then Lyanna, the unlikely Rhaegar losing to Robert, the Daynes hanging around until you get hyped about them even though you don't know why.    I'd love for it all to be significant and tie together even.    Rheagar wanted 3 heads but gave the world  3 Lannister stooges and Robert,  King Shemp.

 

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Well, I think we just don’t have enough information.

I don’t believe it aligns with Rhaegar’s character to just leave his wife and children for another woman because she can no longer give him another child. But I also don’t see Elia being complacent about Rhaegar getting another wife.  It’s not in Lyanna’s character either to be with someone who’s already married, regardless of what he said I don’t think she was too naive to think just because he promised to stay her bed only would be enough for her. He would still have another wife and children that he is responsible for and she will end having to share her husband.

Elia and Rhaegar’s relationship was described as complicated and I think there was something going on with their relationship that had triggered him to Lyanna. I don’t think it was pure prophecy but a mix of his situation and the prophecy that brought him and Lyanna together.

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15 hours ago, Sophia [email protected] said:

ps sir or miss the reason why no other Targaryens King have taken other wife because there NO NEED for IT.  All the Kings had heirs but one because he was Asexual he doesn't sex with anyone. I believe that King made his Nephew or Cousin his heir.  Look all the Kings that sit on throne you will see.  The reason why Rheager wanted a second because he wanted third child.

Rhaegar already had an heir that he called "the prince that was promised". Aegon IV tried to cast doubt on the paternity of his one legitimate son, and legitimized all his bastards (leading to the first Blackfyre rebellion).

15 hours ago, Sophia [email protected] said:

Sir he already a bastard if that don't raise alarm bells

Ned Stark fathering a bastard* didn't raise alarm bells for Catelyn, raising him in Winterfell alongside his legitimate children did.

*On the campaign trail and after marrying Cat.

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