Acrophobia 35B: Death Comes As The End, Final Round Voting!!

[RhaenysBee]

So happy to hear your brother is in recovery. It is indeed very lucky that they managed to spot this issue and handle it relatively quickly. 

As for healthcare... We have “free” healthcare too, there’s a social security fee (of $25 per month) that’s included in one’s taxes. Now the fact that people go out of their way to pay for private ($100 per visit+Anything else you need - which expensive compared to our little average income) speaks volumes about the quality of this healthcare. Doctors are great in the public sector for sure, but hospital infrastructure, hygiene and working conditions make it impossible for them (and nurses especially, though I think this is a global issue) to provide a decent service. If anything happens, you’ll sure be taken care of, per se, but the experience will not be what you’d call “European” at all. 

[Fragile Bird]

ROUND THREE, PART A, RESULTS FOR DAVOS SEAWORTH

 

1.  Death by concerted nibbling: hero was incrementally reduced. Castellan: 1+1+3+3+2+1=11

2.  Down below! Catacombs nowadays hive wights. Irrefutable ruin. RhaenysBee: 1+1+2=4

3.  Despite being consistently noble he'll wither in flames. Howlin' Howland: 1+1+3+1+1=7

4.  In the aftermath, lighting Melisandre's fate, welcoming death Dolorous Gabe: 1+1+1=3

5.  Nefariously keelhauled...the Kraken beheld it eagerly! rocksniffer: 1+3+2+1=7

6.  In the artistic limbo. Makers forgot who's Davos. Count Balerion: 1+1+3+3+3+2=13+4=17**

7.  Davos? Burned crispy now. Heathen witch invoked R'hllor. Emmit: 1+1+2+2+1+1=8

8.  Death by cauldron.  Nice hot wash, indeed!  Ruh-oh. Jez Bell: 1+1+3+2+2+1=10

honeyed chicken(voting): 1

Standings

1.  rocksniffer 29+7=36

2.  Count Balerion 17+17=34

3.  Castellan 20+11=31

4.  Dolorous Gabe 21+3=24

5.  Howlin' Howland 16+7=23

6.  honeyed chicken 19+1=20

7.  RhaenysBee 13+4= 17

8.  Jez Bell 6+10=16

9.  Emmit 2+8=10

10.  Vandal  3

rocksniffer hung on by his fingertips, keelhauled by Count Balerion, whose off-the-wall entry caught your fancy and got top votes. In the meantime Castellan hangs in there, while Dolorous Gabe took a breather, with Howlin' Howland and honeyed chicken close behind. I hope you haven't gotten spooked, Vandal, even if you don't have an entry, please vote!

Don't forget to double-check the math!

[Fragile Bird]

ROUND FOUR - RICKON STARK

Sad times for the little wolf!

1.   Greatly malnourished, bad Shaggydog eats the boy!

2.   A violent Skagosi, saving writing time.

3.   Alone, violently skewered. Shaggydog watches tearfully.

4.   Almost valiantly. Sadly stupidly. Why, television? 

5.   Aged victor, sweetly senescent, went trouble-free.

6.   In the Bay.  Seals' barking antagonized cranky unicorns.

7.   Gruesomely... mangled body skinned entertaining the Boltons.

8.   Amnesiac virgin Sansa somehow waxed tyke.

9.   Attacked, viciously shanked saving wildling teacher.

 

Once again, pick the most fabulous three! Hah! Good luck with that, this is tough!

Our deadline will be Friday, March 29, at 11:00 pm EST. I know that's only 4 days, time will be added if needed, but actually everyone has been very good about entries. I'm proud of you!  

My humble effort:

In the back, stabbed by a crazed unicorn!

 

[Fragile Bird]

ROUND FIVE, PART A - EURON GREYJOY

Euron Greyjoy, the Crow's Eye, the evil brother of Balon Greyjoy, the wild pirate with an eye patch, the kinslayer. How will this arrogant sea dog meet his end? The last we see of him in the books his forces conquered the Shield Islands and have sailed to meet (and defeat?) Redwyne and Hightower, with priests and septons kidnapped along the way tied to the prows of their ships.

In the television show

Spoiler

Euron has been fighting for Cersei, promised her hand after the war is over. He witnesses the wight demonstration Jon Snow has arranged, and after taunting everyone there, leaves, saying he is truly afraid of the white walkers and is sailing home. Dany admits to Jon that he is actually sailing for Essos, to bring the Golden Company to Westeros for her.

Euron is a smart psychopath, fearless and untrustworthy. How does Death deal with him?

Your letters:

bkdhcp

gawbvg

ibtdywsn

In the bbbatl

Whoops, didn't repeat the deadline - Friday, March 29 at 11:00 pm EST.

Good luck! I'm looking forward to bizarre things...

[honeyed chicken]

Good grief, Bird! You must have been posting this in the middle of the night. And now I get to be the first one to sort through these Rickon entries . . . poor Osha didn't make it into any of them on account of no "O" . . . so lessee here

first)  6.   In the Bay.  Seals' barking antagonized cranky unicorns. ((I forgot they had unicorns on the Isle)

second)  7.   Gruesomely... mangled body skinned entertaining the Boltons.

third)   1.   Greatly malnourished, bad Shaggydog eats the boy!

 

 

[RhaenysBee]

1. (1) 

2. (7)

3. (3)

[Fragile Bird]

1 hour ago, honeyed chicken said:

Good grief, Bird! You must have been posting this in the middle of the night. And now I get to be the first one to sort through these Rickon entries . . . poor Osha didn't make it into any of them on account of no "O" . . . so lessee here

Came home late from the hospital. Turned on CNN to catch up on the dumpster fire happening to the south. All of a sudden I realized I was watching the re-run of Andersen Cooper and it was late, very late. And I am slow, very slow, at posting!

I was rather numb at the time. My brother’s surgery was urgently needed, and now the doctors have decided that he needs a bypass as well. They initially thought medication alone would be ok. 

[Castellan]

1. - 1

2. - 2

3. - 4

[Jez Bell]

Rickon:

1. (3)
2. (1)
3. (4)

[Count Balerion]

1

4

7

[Emmit]

1. 2

2. 1

3. 5

[Howlin' Howland]

1) 7.   Gruesomely... mangled body skinned entertaining the Boltons.

2) 6.   In the Bay.  Seals' barking antagonized cranky unicorns.

3) 3.   Alone, violently skewered. Shaggydog watches tearfully.

[rocksniffer]

1st... #7

2nd... #1

3rd... #2

[Dolorous Gabe]

I can't choose. Every day brings different preferences.

[Fragile Bird]

14 hours ago, Dolorous Gabe said:

I can't choose. Every day brings different preferences.

That always happens to me at some point as well!

About 24 hours left, folks! You have been sending in wonderful entries! 

[Dolorous Gabe]

1st - 5

2nd - 3

3rd - 4

[Fragile Bird]

A very late entry has been posted.

I always tell you to send in entries no matter how late. At least this person has a complete collection now. 

[Fragile Bird]

I will post results, the next round entries and the next character in the morning, so I am not up all night.  

Also, because some extra hours were requested.

Several of you thought you might do some tweaking or try something else, so now's your opportunity!

eta: that means about 18 more hours.

[Fragile Bird]

I guess I should get started, right?

[Fragile Bird]

ROUND FOUR, PART A, RESULTS FOR RICKON STARK

 

1.   Greatly malnourished, bad Shaggydog eats the boy! Howlin' Howland: 1+1+3+3+3+2+2+2+1=18+4=22*

2.   A violent Skagosi, saving writing time. Dolorous Gabe: 1+1+3+2+1=8

3.   Alone, violently skewered. Shaggydog watches tearfully. honeyed chicken: 1+1+3+2+1+1=9

4.   Almost valiantly. Sadly stupidly. Why, television? RhaenysBee: 1+1+2+1+1+1=7

5.   Aged victor, sweetly senescent, went trouble-free. Castellan: 1+1+3+1=6

6.   In the Bay.  Seals' barking antagonized cranky unicorns. Jez Bell: 1+1+3+2=7

7.   Gruesomely... mangled body skinned entertaining the Boltons. Emmit: 1+1+3+3+2+2+1=13

8.   Amnesiac virgin Sansa somehow waxed tyke. Count Balerion: 1+1=2+1=3**

9.   Attacked, viciously shanked saving wildling teacher. rocksniffer: 1=1+1=2**

Standings

1.  Howlin' Howard 23+22=45

2.  rocksniffer 36+2=38

3.  Count Balerion 34+3=37

3.  Castellan 31+6=37

5.  Dolorous Gabe 24+8=32

6.  honeyed chicken 20+9=29

7.  RhaenysBee 17+7=24

8.  Jez Bell 16+7=23

8.  Emmit 10=13=23

10.  Vandal  3

As they say in the PGA, this was moving day for Howlin' Howland, almost equaling his previous total point count with an entry that was funny, sad, gross and possibly realistic, all in one! rocksniffer holds on to 2nd place by his fingertips, having lost internet connectivity but he still submitted a very late entry. Count Balerion has fingertips too, with Castellan scrambling to match the Count. Everyone else made decent headway, considering that Howlin's entry was such a star. Bravo!

**I granted 1 bonus point to both the 'sniffer and the Count. I gave rocksniffer's entry a point for two reasons, he was the only person who worked Osha into an entry (I missed the fact there were no o's in the letters) and he has been the only person who still came up with an entry even though late. I appreciated the effort made! 

I gave a point to Count Balerion for my failure as a host to realize the entry might be misinterpreted. I loved the Count's entry, doing the ol' ROFL bit to think of a confused Sansa waxing Rickon to death. Someone said to me they didn't even realize it was waxing, they thought it was some form of whacking, like a mobster does. I should have given better advice. Sorry, the point is symbolic, I'll try to do better next time. But keep those creative entries coming!

And I will repeat - I have loved your work, folks!

Oh.  Double-check, I kept adding up points and forgetting the vote+entry part. Double-check! I had to go back once again and change Howard to Howland, because, duh, my brain!