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Cats: They Own You


A True Kaniggit

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Tries to eat the grass constantly.   I tap him on the noggin, pull him away, and dispense anti grass eating propaganda.  I lean down close to make sure he hears in stereo when I say emphatically in plain English, "You're not a cow!"   Just looks back at me with disdain and eats more grass.   "How do you not see the connection between this and your barfing?   Are you just blind to the analytics or is this your new diet fad to lose fuzzy pet pounds."     So I purchase indoor Pet Grass brand pet grass.   And then the big moment came to introduce it........ and neither cat gave a shit.   Not even the level of interest you usually see from them when a new object appears in the house.   The deeper green of the outside grass must contain the pussycat tobacco they crave.   They shun this indoor stuff like it's Ghost Grass.  So, me being one of the pre-eminent minds in the game today, I embarked on the ingenious guile-craft of taking the indoor grass outside and placing it on the lawn so it's the tallest weed of them all, the obvious target for pet munching....... and the puss was not fooled.  It's as if he saw right through that high level deception.   And this is the cat who burrows into my armpit to get a closer whiff of fresh deodorant.   

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Uhhhh, nope.  I'll look it up. We had houseplants in the 90s, and 90s cats were cool with it, left em alone.  Then the 00's came and cats started huffing and eating the plants.  Now we have plastic ones and for a while we had to tie a rubber band around the kitchen sink cabinet nobs to childproof them so he couldn't paw-pry them open at night and tongue the cleanser.   Total pervert.

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On 8/13/2019 at 5:34 PM, Prince of the North said:

Congrats!  How's it going so far?  And, you're right, it's not so much that you now own the cat.  It's more that you now serve the cat and you're fortunate that it allows you to live with it:P

Well, last Friday I expected to bring back at home a newcomer. I was keen to show it/him/her the appartment, the cat tree, the litter, the food... At the shelter, I choose a young male entirely black, rather quiet. I began to fill the forms and...It turned out that he had an injection against rabid a few days ago, and that I should wait 21 days to be sure of its effectiveness. This is mandatory when you cross a border in Europe (I presentely live in Germany and the shelter is in France), but I did not know. Thus I have to wait another week before taking the cat (he has no name at this stage, but I launched a big contest among my relatives to find a suitable name). And now I'm turning into a lame cat-addict, wondering everyday if the cat is doing well in the shelter, and counting the days before the official adoption.

@The Mother of The Others I thought that cats ate only one sort of herb, and were not interested in the others. Good luck to find the herb that will make your cats forget the grass! (try cannabis?)

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My cat devoured a piece of arugula last night. Not sure what to make of that, but he seems fine, and from what I've looked up, there's nothing dangerous about it. So whatevs I guess.

He often gets extremely curious when I cook, and sometimes I'll give him a piece of raw lettuce (I make a lot of salads) as something to play with. Which he'll bat around for a bit, and that usually satisfies him enough that he stops trying to jump on the counter. This time though, he just ate that sucker. Quickly too.

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On 8/14/2019 at 3:36 PM, The Mother of The Others said:

Tries to eat the grass constantly.   I tap him on the noggin, pull him away, and dispense anti grass eating propaganda.  I lean down close to make sure he hears in stereo when I say emphatically in plain English, "You're not a cow!"   Just looks back at me with disdain and eats more grass.   "How do you not see the connection between this and your barfing?   Are you just blind to the analytics or is this your new diet fad to lose fuzzy pet pounds."     So I purchase indoor Pet Grass brand pet grass.   And then the big moment came to introduce it........ and neither cat gave a shit.   Not even the level of interest you usually see from them when a new object appears in the house.   The deeper green of the outside grass must contain the pussycat tobacco they crave.   They shun this indoor stuff like it's Ghost Grass.  So, me being one of the pre-eminent minds in the game today, I embarked on the ingenious guile-craft of taking the indoor grass outside and placing it on the lawn so it's the tallest weed of them all, the obvious target for pet munching....... and the puss was not fooled.  It's as if he saw right through that high level deception.   And this is the cat who burrows into my armpit to get a closer whiff of fresh deodorant.   

Get some cat mint. Not catnip, cat mint. They love it. It grows wild in my yard and even getting a little on your hands drives them wild.

There are a lot of things they can have, but be careful with the houseplants. One of mine had elevated liver enzymes and it was finally traced to her love of apothos ivy. I also had an asparagus fern that she loved. Both plants are now at my office. Spider plants are okay, though. 

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My cat is 7 years old and has always been an indoor cat. We've lived in apartments with indoor hallways mostly so she's never really been exposed to the real outside. Recently we moved to a place with a yard and she freaking loves looking at the yard and even occasionally, slowly creeping along the side of the building when I open the door. Now I open the door while I'm reading or doing chores and she just sits there taking it all in. 

No point here. I just like that she is intrigued by all that yet is content with mostly observing. It's basically cat tv and I'm on board.

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6 hours ago, Joey Crows said:

It's basically cat tv and I'm on board

As a kid i read a book about a prim gentleman housecat who, after attending to his morning duties, would settle in a particular sunny windowsill to "read the news".  

Don't remember the name of the book, though it may have been "Cat", but i still assume this disposition and intent about any cat gazing at the outside from a secure perch.

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A new discovery.  For many years I have witnessed the side effects of unobserved kitten behavior--  I wake up in the morning to find the Kitten Kompound in disarray and think 'what the heck were you guys up to in the night?'

Tonight I have the combination of sleeplessness and  drunk-ishness and can testify...5am = kitten night club style mayhem.  Mother cat is picking fights with her children, kittens are prancing through the food dish to escape imaginary enemies, litter is flying...forget it, it's Chinatown.

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6 hours ago, litechick said:

5am = kitten night club style mayhem.  Mother cat is picking fights with her children, kittens are prancing through the food dish to escape imaginary enemies, litter is flying...forget it, it's Chinatown.

I bet that as soon as they have noticed your presence, they froze immediatly and pretend to be totally normal cats (turning down the disco ball, hidding the spliffs and the guns, and staring at you with big innocent eyes like Puss in Boots in Shreck...).

I picked up my kitten today at the shelter... Shall I install surreptitioutly cameras in the living room to see how it handles its first night at home? I should be surprised...

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In my case I was outnumbered 6 to 1 and they had absolutely no fucks to give about my approval or disapproval.

A camera could be fun but it will capture more than just cats and you might not want to know some of the stuff that goes on--it's not your neighbor's dog pooping on your lawn, it's your neighbor--etc.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I owe you an update regarding my new cat I picked up at the shelter on late August: she died one week after. She suffered from feline infectuous peritonite, a disease that kills mainly kitten in a few days. I went three times to the vet and the last time she had to be put down. At the end she could barely move...

That's how ended my first cat-story. At last she had a nice last week at home; she was suger-coated with the best food I could find (did you know there is even organic food for pets?), she slept on my favorite hoodie on the sofa (the two last days I had to carry her to the sofa), she stayed with me on the evenings while I read or cooked, always purring, so I guess -I hope!- she enjoyed my company.

To conclude, I think I will wait another month or two before seeking again a cat...

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YAArya, I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm sure you were a great comfort to her.  I hope you have some pictures.

Remember the old saying, "Only a kitten can break a heart.  Only a kitten can mend it again."

Check with your shelter to find out what sort of cleaning needs to be done at home.  I've had some fosters with viruses which caused me to stop fostering for a year to make sure no infection would be transmitted.

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  • 1 month later...
Quote

 

Her joint issues, as well as her mellow demeanor, are what made Cinder-block seem like a good candidate for the underwater treadmill. The idea is that “the water will support her weight while she moves” and allow her to exercise without putting pressure on her joints.

Kiffney acknowledged that in the viral video, the water is too low to really be supporting Cinder-block; the plan is to raise the water gradually so that she becomes used to it. The veterinarian also said that she’s ordered Cinder-block a special harness for the workouts that should be more comfortable and supportive than the one she’s wearing in the clip.

While it’s important for cats to be at a healthy weight, Kiffney noted that it’s equally important that cats lose weight gradually, since cutting a cat’s food too drastically can lead to fatty liver disease and liver failure. She recommends that anyone whose cat needs to lose weight work with a vet to create a health plan.]

 

Everyone’s Rooting For Cinder-Block, An Obese Cat Who Dislikes Her Workout
The “very sweet” cat has just begun a much-needed weight loss journey, veterinarian Brita Kiffney at Northshore Veterinary Hospital said.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/cinderblock-fat-cat-workout_n_5db246e6e4b0ea02257b49e4

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hey cat lovers...some of you know i am a dog man, who happens to be dogless right now . instead now i am the companion of a cat named Pusifer...he is a reincarnated dog i am sure but he has issues i never had with a dog...

he is long haired (soft, floating hairs that land on everything...luckily the flavor of vodka covers them up)...anyway he gets lots of brushing and combing because Number One Niece is obsessive about his coat...and everything else in our world... however he has developed a slight (my word) dry skin issue with little flakes mostly on his lower back and at the base of his tail. he is not scratching, chewing or losing hair...he has always enjoyed grooming and still does. his environment is unchanged, he is allowed to be outdoors when we are outside, but never for longer than it takes to hang up clothes or water plants. he is, during these outings, restricted to backyard, no pesticides or herbicides. i do not believe he is allergic to food or litter.

my question is what kind of skin lube can you use on a cat to moisturize his thick hairy ass?

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My cat scratches on my roommate's door when he wants food, in addition to pleading to me. I don't know why. She has only fed him twice I think, and I also think he started this before those two feedings. I guess he thinks "maybe she'll feed me if I beg her too!" Actually, I don't think he begs/pleads her for food, just me.

 

Whatever! I have a squirt bottle with a concentrated stream to spritz him with when he scratches now... maybe he'll f**k off from roomie's door eventually. I can hope.

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  • 1 month later...

Day around 80 into watching my younger brother's cat while he is overseas.

Really wish the little bastard would stop acting like he was the boss of my two queens just because he is bigger. And why the hell does he keep eating the dog's food? What cat actually likes dog food? Weirdo.

Overall Padfoot has been fun to have around, and has integrated into the household smoothly.

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  • 1 month later...

New year, new cat! I picked up a young female cat at the shelter yesterday. She was depicted as shy, fearful little thing, bullied by bigger cats, who jumps at the slightest noise.

She cried a lot this night, searching for her former cat friends and the shelter volunteers. Now she mews, purrs, runs, plays, and climbs everywhere! (the fridge was deemed funnier than the cat tree).

But since yesterday, it seems she did not sleep at all (I had a very bad night, she wanted to play with me, clawed me, even headbutted me...), I observe her since and she never stops moving.

So until proven otherwise I have an insomniac cat.

 

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