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SPOILERS: Rant and Rave


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Omg, I disliked this episode so much. We all know that the dialogues are bad at this point but when you have an episode that consists only of dialogues, it makes it even more obvious how bad they are.

Some of the things I hated:

- basically all dialogues. Some examples: Dany&Sansa. Dany&Jorah. Arya&Gendry. Tormund. And more.

- Arya and Gendry coming literally out of nowhere. Until this moment Arya seemed basically asexual and suddenly she starts checking out Gendry and eventually turns into a big seducer. I'm. freaking. done. with. this. I suppose that Sansa and Theon will make out too based on the look they exchanged.

- "Ser Brienne of Tarth". 'Nuff said.

- there's a big army of undead coming and they are throwing in a party, including drinks, jokes and songs

- Tormund still trying it with Brienne. "I'd knight you 10 times over." Jeez. And the whole monologue about "look how I'm cool, Jaime" was plain embarassing.

- Bran: "I'm the Three-Eyed Crows and there were tons of Three-Eyed Crows before." No one bothers asking what a freaking 3EC is and how the hell does Bran sees the past.

- Jon saying the truth about his parents in a tone that screams "I knew this all along"

At least Ghost is alive, I guess.

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A lot of what annoyed me has been talked about ad-nauseam. 

But why the hell are they planning to fight the Army of the DeadTM outside the walls of Winterfell? Brienne was talking about an advantageous defensive position by the "ridge." Man, they totally f***** up putting you in charge of the "left" flank; you have one of the greatest fortresses in Westeros right behind you!

They have thousands of highly-trained unsullied, plus Westerosi levies, Nightswatch warriors, and Wildlings. Plus, they have TWO dragons to the Night's King's one. The Night's King is going to attack because...he wants to kill the memory of humanity (what??). Let him assault the walls, or go south with his army? If he sieges you release the dragons -- he'll lose his because it'll be two on one and wights are susceptible for fire (meaning puff goes the ice dragon once they actually fight). 

Also, Wights are susceptible to fire! Sit on the walls, let the army of the dead pile up and throw bottles of oil down at them and set them on fire? Is this a joke? They use the fire in the ground technique in literally every single Medieval battle in media (they even used it in GoT once)...just pour oil on the ground and set it aflame with fire arrows. Wights catch fire like kindling in the show (I think in the books, too) - army of the dead taken care of, you can go kick Cersei off the Iron Thone now. 

Lastly, Dany getting pissed that Jon is a Targaryan because he'll have a claim to the throne. Guys, seriously. Its a f***ing high medieval setting. There is a simple way to resolve this -- get f***ing married! They "love" eachother, they are both single, and Dany needs an heir. What is the f***ing malfunction here? 

The internal logic of the world has been disregarded since the end of the books and D&D took complete creative control of the project. Then it just became contrivance after contrivance because they wanted "EPIC" and "BADASS" things to happen. Characters have lost everything that makes them interesting, plenty others are just futzing around spouting one-liners for fan service. And, of yeah, gotta make sure we put in lots of boobs. 

That being said, I love to hate-watch this show; and, realistically, its probably the only way I'll get to experience the end of ASoIaF. 

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56 minutes ago, McAssey said:

2.  No mention of Howland Reed as the one person who can verify Jon's true parentage

4.  Where is Robert/Sweet Robin?  Why didn't he come north with the knights of the Vale?

5.  Where is Edmure and the rest of the Tullys?

I think they cut all the "tertiary" characters from seasons past. There's a small chance they'll do a deus ex machina and appear suddenly from the forests to save Winterfell.

But hey, we've got loads of times to say goodbyes and sing and laugh! Even introduce this cute little girl who's going to defend the crypts! 

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9 minutes ago, Mikeygigs said:

Nightswatch warriors,

Do you mean Edd, Sam and Jon? 

9 minutes ago, Mikeygigs said:

and Wildlings.

Do you mean Tormund?

:lol:

Unsullied = Grey Worm, and he’s too busy w/ MissyWorm. 

And you forgot the Dothraki? Gods be good. 

I suppose they'll turn up on cue to die, just like Ghost. :rolleyes:

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17 minutes ago, Mikeygigs said:

A lot of what annoyed me has been talked about ad-nauseam. 

But why the hell are they planning to fight the Army of the DeadTM outside the walls of Winterfell? Brienne was talking about an advantageous defensive position by the "ridge." Man, they totally f***** up putting you in charge of the "left" flank; you have one of the greatest fortresses in Westeros right behind you!

They have thousands of highly-trained unsullied, plus Westerosi levies, Nightswatch warriors, and Wildlings. Plus, they have TWO dragons to the Night's King's one. The Night's King is going to attack because...he wants to kill the memory of humanity (what??). Let him assault the walls, or go south with his army? If he sieges you release the dragons -- he'll lose his because it'll be two on one and wights are susceptible for fire (meaning puff goes the ice dragon once they actually fight). 

Also, Wights are susceptible to fire! Sit on the walls, let the army of the dead pile up and throw bottles of oil down at them and set them on fire? Is this a joke? They use the fire in the ground technique in literally every single Medieval battle in media (they even used it in GoT once)...just pour oil on the ground and set it aflame with fire arrows. Wights catch fire like kindling in the show (I think in the books, too) - army of the dead taken care of, you can go kick Cersei off the Iron Thone now. 

Lastly, Dany getting pissed that Jon is a Targaryan because he'll have a claim to the throne. Guys, seriously. Its a f***ing high medieval setting. There is a simple way to resolve this -- get f***ing married! They "love" eachother, they are both single, and Dany needs an heir. What is the f***ing malfunction here? 

The internal logic of the world has been disregarded since the end of the books and D&D took complete creative control of the project. Then it just became contrivance after contrivance because they wanted "EPIC" and "BADASS" things to happen. Characters have lost everything that makes them interesting, plenty others are just futzing around spouting one-liners for fan service. And, of yeah, gotta make sure we put in lots of boobs. 

That being said, I love to hate-watch this show; and, realistically, its probably the only way I'll get to experience the end of ASoIaF. 

One thing I don't get is... why is the NK so desperate to attacked a fortress? Just wait them out. Let them freeze and starve. His army doesn't need rest or food. Or, shouldn't he be trying to lure them out into the open? Why not make getting the other two dragons a priority instead of Bran who, God forbid, may one day be sitting in a tree remembering stuff when 99% of humanity has been wightified. 

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7 minutes ago, The Knight of Flours said:

Yes - when Sansa told little Umber to get his people to Winterfell, Bran should have said 'no point'.

This is something that I find extremely annoying and cringeworthy and nonsensical. Bran knows all, sees all, except those things that the plot requires he’s ignorant of, like the fact that Rhaegar and Lyanna were married. And everything else he didn’t know because plot. :bang:

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8 hours ago, Rockroi said:

"Hey, remember that time I used to whore all the time and was funny and had great dialog when the writers of this show just copied the dialog from the books, but now that I am no longer taken from the books, the writers have no fucking idea what to do with me because they are terrible at this?" (seasons 1-4)

Yes, Book!Tyrion was golden, always witty, never bland.

Quote

"Might that be where whores go?"

"Where do whores go?"

"Do you know where whores go?"

"Only if he knows where whores go."

"Tell me, where do whores go?"

(There's more of that, of course).

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9 hours ago, kissdbyfire said:

 

There’s no time for Sandor, man! Come on! We must have MissyWorm, and random greyscale child, and Davos’ soup kitchen, and 10-yr-old battle commanders! Pfff. 

Don’t worry, it just means his big moment will be in KL

9 hours ago, UnViserion said:

Dany immediately concerned about the IT was frustrating. I get it, I really do. Jon probably could have broken the news to her better. He definitely should have broken the news to her sooner. Bran should have been present. But it doesn’t, fucking, matter. Highlights a serious character flaw on her part. She’s only in it for herself. 

Actually, I think hers was a pretty natural first reaction to some shocking news. She’ll come around, I think.

9 hours ago, Lady Fevre Dream said:

i am not sure what the hell that Theon Sansa shit was a'tall, well, besides weird and scary.  Do we need to hope for one of them to die to get away from any future........whatever?  I hate to say I am worried for Gendry now.  More worried than I was before this weeks developments. 

I didn’t get the impression of romance, just happiness that Theon has gotten rid of all the Reek in him.

2 hours ago, Nami said:

2- Since when Sam is so sentimental about his family? Didn't his father hate him, threatened him with death if he didn't join the NW? Naturally his reaction about this family'death should not be what we saw. He's acting as if he loved his father dearly when he had an awful relationship with his family.

Advice columns are full of letters from people who are horribly abused by their families and yet are reluctant to break with them. It’s pretty common to love people who don’t deserve it, even though it defies logic.

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50 minutes ago, Greenmonsterff said:

If the Night King and Wights are knocked out in episode three, this whole show will have been a lie. From the opening scene onward, they have been the impending dread. They have to be the final “boss.”

Indeed they have to fight all next 3 episodes, one would assume the last episode is when we know the ultimate outcome. 

They have plans for Bran to lure NK close enough to kill him. This must fail at first.

I predict Dany and Jon won't meet each other until in the last episode to solve their succession.

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2 hours ago, Philokles said:

Brienne being knighted must be a lovely moment for her, but it is rather at odds with the motif that it is those who are not Knights who best uphold the knightly oaths - Brienne, Sandor, Dunk, etc.

I believe that contractually, D&D aren't allowed to know who Dunk was. Like with Peter Jackson and wizards not named Gandalf, Saruman nor Radagast.

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14 hours ago, divica said:

he doesn t have a crisis and talks about it with someone of his familly or davos? After all the hype the scene is basically forgotten? what kind of continuity is this!? what was the point of telling jon before the battle? 

Well, Jon certainly is heavy with the revealed information. He somehow is distanced to Daenerys, avoids her -- she notices and want to resolve the strange situation by tracking him down in the Crypts. This is very believable.

Jon tries to tell as few people as possible. That's the only way how you keep secrets. If Jon had revealed the new info to Sansa, no one knows what would have followed. He is wise not to do so.

I guess he did not intend to tell Daenerys but she tracked him down, the talk came to Lyanna... no chance to avoid without lying. And Jon is a man of honor and truth.

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16 minutes ago, Ferocious Veldt Roarer said:

Yes, Book!Tyrion was golden, always witty, never bland.

(There's more of that, of course).

I'm not sure what you mean by this.  My point was that Tyrion has gone severely down-hill since Season 4 because the show does not know how to use him given that the books are not there to direct them.  And this is pretty accurate. Further, there have been a number of online publications that have noticed this same thing -- the show no longer knows what to do with Tyrion and it shows.  

If your point was "well... the books have kind of wasted him, too ..." I could not disagree.  That's a fair point; Tyrion has gone downhill in the books as well.  Fair.  But not the point.  We are not watching the books right now.  If we were I would criticize it (because of its decent criticism).  But this is the show and I am criticizing that.  And the show-runners - when left with nothing to go by in the books - are lost.  Whether that's because the books do not use Tyrion well either (he's not in book 4; he's meandering in book 5) or because they have outpaced the books entirely, is not the point.

The show-runners have shown an inability to raise their game or "step it up" now that Martin's work cannot be drawn from.  And that's fairly obvious.   

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I generally enjoyed this episode, but there are just a few things one can’t get past with a sane mind. 

First and foremost. Arya. What the fuck is this character even doing with her life? She bully-flirts Gendry to get her weapon and then intimidate-impresses him with her dagger throwing and “badass” death talk. She is an obnoxious sociopath who basically bullies Gendry into sleeping with her. And Arya was the “sassy cute kid” for 4 seasons then she became a nonsense psychopath. Watching her in a sex scenes doesn’t go with either of those things. And I get that Arya is like 17 here so sure make her have sex with Gendry but maybe handle it in a way that’s remotely believable and doesn’t involve Arya’s being an obnoxious piece of shit to everybody including Gendry? Like show some vulnerability, have a little reminiscing fest before she tears the clothes off Gendry. Nope. Arya just bitches about her weapon and underestimates the dead and bullies Gendry about how many women he’s been with. She’s basically on the level of Joffrey and Euron and Bronn in terms of attitude and intelligence. Jesus. 

And then there was Greyworm and Missandei. Like within the narrative or in any other real life situation how likely is it for two possibly half starving and orphaned  children in a war zone before a battle to turn away from kind words because they are spoken by a foreigner woman? What a pointless wannabe sociopolitical scene. 

And then there’s Davos the statue of equal rights because telling ten year old girls they can fight in a battle against undead zombies is the HBO encyclopedia of feminism. And nope, those 30-year-old men who complained they aren’t soldiers didn’t get a choice. Thank goodness Gilly managed to convince her to make the right choice in the matter of seconds. What would they have done if the kid said she wants to fight in the front row? Oh god. 

And don’t get me started on jaime’s interrogation. Like man, nobody mentioned the mad king’s crimes? Nobody mentioned Robb Stark? Like fuck off. That whole thing was only tolerable because Nikolaj Coster Waldau is a good actor and it was moderately amusing that Daenerys spent the whole scene fuming because once again everybody is in agreement against her. 

And then there was ghost as a background accessory for 4 full seconds. Why even bother? Why not just write that poor animal off entirely? 

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7 minutes ago, Rockroi said:

I'm not sure what you mean by this.  My point was that Tyrion has gone severely down-hill since Season 4 because the show does not know how to use him given that the books are not there to direct them. 

My point is, that "no books" is not the worst thing, because GRRM has proven more than capable of giving Tyrion heaps of shitty dialogue.

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33 minutes ago, nara said:

Don’t worry, it just means his big moment will be in KL

I am not at all worried, but thanks for your concern. I’m just extremely annoyed at the writers’ inability to handle characters and the overall story. 

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19 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said:

I am not at all worried, but thanks for your concern. I’m just extremely annoyed at the writers’ inability to handle characters and the overall story. 

Sorry if my comment sounded condescending. I was referring to the fact that the show gives us info or scenes right before they are needed, unlike the books, which plant seeds at various times to sprout/bloom as needed. Probably should have just said that!

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Not sure if it's been brought up, but did anyone else crack up at Davos being reduced to running a soup kitchen?

He was once the Hand of the King, but now he serves soup. That's when you know they have no idea what to do for a character. Surprised Varys wasn't sitting in the crypts telling stories to the children to keep them calm.

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1 minute ago, SuperMario said:

Not sure if it's been brought up, but did anyone else crack up at Davos being reduced to running a soup kitchen?

He was once the Hand of the King, but now he serves soup. That's when you know they have no idea what to do for a character. Surprised Varys wasn't sitting in the crypts telling stories to the children to keep them calm.

Trailer spoiler

Spoiler

The main trailer did show Varys sitting in the crypts. So there's a chance he'll be telling stories to the children.

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