Going to Weddings

[DMC]

6 minutes ago, Maya Mia said:

What part of Tampa?  Ybor?  Cause you could just duck out real quick and have some fun, then go back.  If it's downtown Tampa - oh well that sucks. Other parts of Tampa could be ok, depending on which section.

Good question, honestly haven't looked...It's right above Hyde Park, near the bay.  I like that part of town, but nah I'm not gonna dip out of my own sister's wedding.  To link this to the prior discussion, I can't remember the last wedding I went to that I didn't encounter some random people smoking a joint outside.  That's why I like the smoke/drink outside approach, and will likely do so once dinner/toasts are done.

[Larry of the Lawn]

57 minutes ago, DMC said:

I know people in Tampa, but none of them smoke, and I'm not gonna go trolling around town asking random people for herb.  And no, medical wouldn't work.  Doctor:  "So I see you haven't been to a doctor in over a decade, but now you are for the one week you're here because of what exactly?"

Plan B: hit up the Dali museum and trip balls before the wedding

Eta: 

Quote

Good question, honestly haven't looked...It's right above Hyde Park, near the bay.  I like that part of town, but nah I'm not gonna dip out of my own sister's wedding.  To link this to the prior discussion, I can't remember the last wedding I went to that I didn't encounter some random people smoking a joint outside.  That's why I like the smoke/drink outside approach, and will likely do so once dinner/toasts are done

Remember - in Florida they call headies or kind bud "cryppie" (sp)

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

1 hour ago, DMC said:

I know people in Tampa, but none of them smoke, and I'm not gonna go trolling around town asking random people for herb.  And no, medical wouldn't work.  Doctor:  "So I see you haven't been to a doctor in over a decade, but now you are for the one week you're here because of what exactly?"

First, over a decade? Bro, get a check up lol.

Second, they specifically like clients like you. I'm not talking about going down to a legit hospital. Go see a sham doctor in a strip mall and tell your back hurts. They literally advertise that they are there to make it so people can get access to medical "cryppie."

[DMC]

28 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

Second, they specifically like clients like you. I'm not talking about going down to a legit hospital. Go see a sham doctor in a strip mall and tell your back hurts. They literally advertise that they are there to make it so people can get access to medical "cryppie."

This all sounds like too much effort.  I'm sure I could find someone but it's not as easy as you're making it sound.  I'm fine just going a week without getting high.

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

3 minutes ago, DMC said:

This all sounds like too much effort.  I'm sure I could find someone but it's not as easy as you're making it sound.  I'm fine just going a week without getting high.

I get that, and I'd probably just do the same, but I've found through my experiences that it's really easy to find all kinds of vices in large urban areas. Typically all you need to do is find a trendy bar targeting people in their twenties and thirties. Or as you said, just bumping into someone having a smoke. 

[Larry of the Lawn]

1 hour ago, DMC said:

This all sounds like too much effort.  I'm sure I could find someone but it's not as easy as you're making it sound.  I'm fine just going a week without getting high.

I've got weed in Orlando just asking the cab driver who picked me up at the airport

[DMC]

26 minutes ago, larrytheimp said:

I've got weed in Orlando just asking the cab driver who picked me up at the airport

Orlando would not be a problem for me.  Just not gonna try to make any of my friends there drive or try to figure out those logistics.  And yeah, 9 times out of 10 if you ask a cab driver they know where to get it.  That's, like, a job requirement.  I won't be taking a cab though, and even if, I don't want that schwag!

[Jaxom 1974]

3 hours ago, Maya Mia said:

 

But what I do remember about her wedding, was the hotel ran out of Captain Morgan's.  And had to send someone to the liquor store right after dinner, just as the dancing started to get more.  Fun times. 

Man, at my wedding, my parents did the traditional thing and paid for the bar.  They popped for an open one too.  Now the town my wife grew up in, and where we had our wedding, at the time, didnt really have any true banquet facilities back then.  Yes the community college, where we had our recpetion had a space that worked great, they did a very nice job and I was pleased...but they didn't do bars.  You could have whomever you wanted, as long as they were properly set up for it.  So my FiL set my dad up with some of the guys he knew from the Knights of Columbus.  They asked the right questions, and knew what they were doing. Mostly.  When my dad asked me how much booze I thought we needed, I pointed out that many of my Illinois friends were coming to Ohio and that they would drink. So would the handful of hotel coworkers who made their way out. But then there were the Fraternity Brothers...I warned dad to order heavy.  The KoC guys still talked him down.  I'm not entirely sure what went down, but I know they were running for more beer and whiskey at one point...oh they knew what they were doing, they never ran out, but they could see the way the winds were blowing...and then they didn't really take a great count. I know there was a whole lot of alcohol consumed.  Yet somehow my dad's tab didn't go higher than $900...my jaw hit the floor when he told me. 

[DMC]

Update:  So just got home - goddamn was that quite a week.  Barely slept the past six nights and spent time with soooo many family and friends, some of which I haven't seen in over a decade.  Notable things I'll share:

• Everything went off without a hitch.  Not surprising, my sister is always on top of things.  The only real hiccup around the ceremony is I jammed my finger closing the door of the waiting room when we - as in the wedding party and immediate family - were hanging out in immediately before.  Wouldn't have been anything to worry about any other time, but I was worried it wouldn't stop bleeding before the processional started.  Also didn't notice my nail was bleeding when it happened and ruined the dress shirt I was wearing.  After dinner when everyone was drinking/dancing and asking what the drops of blood were about, my stock answer was "you should see the other guy."
• My mother did not tell me nor my brother that we were walking her down the aisle until about 27 hours before the wedding.  Quite the family we got.
• The two bridesmaids' dual toast was based off the theme song to Fresh Prince, as in "This is the story all about how..."  Pretty creative, one of them is an event planner in NYC so it was her idea but they were both nervous about it during dinner and needed encouragement.
• It was very entertaining that my grandfather complained "so they're not getting married in a church?!?"  Generational differences, yeah, but also even my cousin who I think of as a second sister from Texas was shocked my sister wasn't taking my brother-in-law's name.  I was like, beyond the obvious equality reason, she has a career to consider, that's how it works now.

[lady narcissa]

Glad you had a good time and survived!  I want to know about your Grandma at the wedding, however.  She sounded awesome.

[DMC]

17 hours ago, lady narcissa said:

Glad you had a good time and survived!  I want to know about your Grandma at the wedding, however.  She sounded awesome.

Thanks.  Best grandma moment was during the rehearsal dinner she brought up when I ran away from home at 12 (long story).  It wasn't out of the blue - we were discussing our misspent youths - and she's like, "Ya know, I told your mother, why bother even looking for him?"

She was also great at shutting my grandpa up.  During both the rehearsal ceremony and dinner we was whining like a baby (as he often does when he's not satisfied with events/no one's paying attention to him).  At one point I thought my mother was going to kill him as he was whining in the vicinity of my sister.  That's when I told him to shut the fuck up.

Didn't see her much at the reception.  She was near me at dinner but they did these really long tables, so I was sitting next to the wife of a Federal Judge/the groom's old boss on one side and the bridesmaids on the other (my brother across) - who as I said were nervous about their Fresh Prince toast.  My gramps left pretty much immediately after the toasts (which was understandable, he has a tough time walking and basically everybody was up either at the bars or dancing), and of course she went with him.  Did spend a good amount of time with them on Sunday - bunch of us weirdly went to the Chihuly museum in St. Pete.

[Larry of the Lawn]

3 hours ago, DMC said:

 "Ya know, I told your mother, why bother even looking for him?"

 

This is like something you say about a cat, who on it's [sic] first walk on a leash, shakes the harness like a bucking bronco and exits the vicinity quickly through a heavily wooded area.

[DMC]

33 minutes ago, larrytheimp said:

This is like something you say about a cat, who on it's [sic] first walk on a leash, shakes the harness like a bucking bronco and exits the vicinity quickly through a heavily wooded area.

Sounds about right.

[MeanMrMustard]

I serve a dual purpose at weddings: making the actual wedding party look better and worse.

 

On the one hand, nobody is as drunk, tactless or overall sad and pathetic as me. On the other hand, nobody is as handsome, well-dressed or intelligent as me.

[Larry of the Lawn]

35 minutes ago, MeanMrMustard said:

I serve a dual purpose at weddings: making the actual wedding party look better and worse.

 

On the one hand, nobody is as drunk, tactless or overall sad and pathetic as me. On the other hand, nobody is as handsome, well-dressed or intelligent as me.

Same, pal.

[litechick]

To me weddings are these weird social rituals that are specifically designed to establish the social pecking order.  People who are usually cool to hang out with in other social situations are suddenly judges in the Tasteful Brigade. 

Weddings run the gamut from "what is the appropriate font to use on the calligraphy for a formal wedding held in the evening on a Friday in June during a full moon?" to "we're getting married and we're really happy.  Come celebrate with us!  We'll have a barbecue buffet, get drunk and dance like idiots."

I'm old enough to be comfortable with my own social ineptitude so I take it philosophically:  If there's anything the Tasteful Brigade loves better than a perfect wedding it's having some jackass to cluck about afterwards, 'what was up with that outfit?  can you believe she said XYZ?'  Therefore, I can tell myself that I serve a valuable purpose in supplying the kind of socially tone-deaf anecdotes that will give everyone pleasure for years to come.

[BigFatCoward]

3 hours ago, everlyrogers said:

I like when there are unusual and unorthodox readings like written here https://www.poptop.uk.com/blog/16-best-non-religious-wedding-readings/. 

I like it when there are no readings, and the 'marriage' bit is done as quickly as possible so the important things like drinking and eating can commence.  at my wedding I think we said just about the minimum number of words it is legal to say.

Aren't readings just a way of placating people who you are close to, but didn't want to be a bridesmaid?

[DMC]

4 hours ago, BigFatCoward said:

the 'marriage' bit is done as quickly as possible so the important things like drinking and eating can commence.

This is why I love Jews - first Jewish wedding I went to I turned to my girlfriend at the time when the ceremony ended and was like "that's it?!?  Sweet!"

[baxus]

I hate how almost every wedding I attended followed the same pattern to the point that I've been to a wedding and said: "I've already been to this wedding. Sure, bride and groom are different but everything else is the same - the ceremony, the reception, the music etc.

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

Ten days out and I've still yet to get a gift. F***!