[Spoilers] Rant & Rave without Repercussion, Final edition

[massoir]

1 hour ago, Ser Hedge said:

She gets to live happily ever after in a swamp. Bitter sweet.

Wonder if the iron bank went with her haha

[VladLXXXI]

The Night King character was the biggest failure of the writers. EP3 was the worst writing I have ever seen in my life.  They literally cut him off the show. They cut off the ICE from the name of the book. The rest episodes werent important after that.

[Grdas1979]

Never before have i seen a tv series deteriorate so much. Every season was a little bit worse until this horrible and ridiculous finale. 

Everyone has mentioned the numerous plot and logic holes, i just want to say that the writers had a solid 5 books to work with and knew the key ending storylines and all they could produce was this joke and parody. 

Its a disgrace for he books, for the asoiaf universe and for the fans. 

I wont ever again hear, read or watch anything about game of thrones. I only hope martin gives us the last two books, to make us feel good again about ASOIAF. If not (for whatever reason) it would be tragic 

 

 

[Ser Hedge]

Here's a FAQ for anyone who missed all seasons of AGOT and wants to know what it's all about

Q: I heard this story is also called a song of Ice and Fire, why?

A: Well there's this zombie master who seems to be made of ice, or at least he brings the cold weather and when he's killed he turns into little icicles

Q: Wow, cool, who kills him? Whoever is Fire I guess?

A: Errr it's this Ninja girl. The fire lady tried, but it didn't work.

Q: How'd the Ninja do it?

A: She had this dagger made of steel that was once treated with dragon flame.

Q: Oh wow, imagine they had an actual Dragon in the story, that would be so cool.

A: Errr they do, the Fire lady tried to off the Ice dude with her Dragon, but nothing happened.

Q: Wait, whaa? And what happens to Fire Lady?

A: She gets offed 3 episodes later.

Q: By whom? What does the Dragon do?

A: Some dude. The Dragon feels sad and burns the throne when the dude is standing right next to it.

Q: Huh? Why did he off her? Was she bad? Didn't she try to stop the Ice guy who I guess was trying to turn everyone into Zombies? Did they know she was bad before hand?

A: Some readers knew she was really bad and mad. She questioned the wine seller's daughters sharply and had some slavers crucified because they did the same to slave children. Some show watchers knew she was really really bad and really really mad all along, she gave grandiose speeches to savage horsemen in the only terms they understand, threatened to burn down a city, killed some of her enemies and stuff. Oh, her bro tries to kill her and her unborn child, so she had him killed by her savage husband. Really bad vibes there.

Q: Errr she must have a really bad background. It's she one of those savage horsemen? Btw, this story does take place in a medieval or even pre-medieval setting, right? So if you killed slavers, it's really harsh, but probably doesn't stand out as something other leaders would never have done, right?

A: She was actually the daughter of a king, but went into exile as soon she was born, reduced to near-beggar status, married off to this savage, a match no one in her family in the last 5000 years would have even countenanced, had to eat a raw horse heart in one go, loses son, husband, tries to kill herself in fire, didn't work, ends up with baby dragons, other savages want to kill her or take her to live with other widows in the middle of nowhere, she loses most of her followers to starvation and thirst, burns slavers, frees slaves, but eventually tries to rule with help of both ex-slavers and freed slaves ......

Q: Whoah, I'm confused, are you sure she's the villain?

A: She wasn't then, unless you were one of the super smart readers or watchers, but then turned like properly bad and burnt a city, specifically the ordinary people.

Q: I thought she saved slaves and burnt slavers?

A: Yeah, but on the wrong continent. On this continent she was seen specifically going after the small folk. And her freed slaves from the other continent are now like really bad dudes.

Q: Why?

A: She went mad.

Q: What's so great about this series then? Sounds like a complete waste of time.

A: It's called subversion of tropes. Shock and Awe TV

Q: Whatever.

A: That's not a question. This is a FAQ y'know.

Q: Yeah, FAQ you too, loser, you seem to have wasted all your free time on a crock of shit.

 

[Herthallen]

I'm going to summarize this episode with what my girlfriend said when the ending credits rolled: ''I need to take a shit.'' 

Onwards to the points:

- It only took a half episode for Dany's entire character arc to turn into Hitler. You could see how the actors cringed from having to say this lines. Jon: ''You killed women and children, an entire city, ONE MILLION FUCKING PEOPLE'' Dany: ''Well yeah but she killed Missandei, you know, my translator.''

- Snow in King's Landing, who would have thought we would actually see that, I forgot that it was actually WINTER. Oh nevermind, just a passing temperature change, it's sunny already.

- Remember when King's Landing turned into ash? Like in last episode? I think D&D forgot, because everything looks pretty much rebuilt by the end of the episode.

- Bronn, what the hell are you doing here. Your character should have been dead long ago. But no, not only does he threaten to kill Tyrion and Jaime in order to get a title, Tyrion actually makes him one of the most powerful lords in Westeros and rewards him the Master of Coin title. I thought he was a sellsword all his life, must have missed the part where he took a master in economy.

- Well, I guess Sam got to be archmaester, after he stole and ran away from his education in Oldtown, suddenly he just became their most prestigious member.

- Ser Davos didn't get a lofty title? Does he still have any family? I guess he's just an old knight with a small holding somewhere still, after all he's been through. But hey he got a council seat, why not.

- Is the Targaryen line dead now? Dany's gone, Jon shall father no children. Unless he went into the north in order to desert and find an Ygritte v2.0.

- What was even to point of Jon being a Targaryen? Was it only to stroke Dany's fury futher? Turns out he was pretty useless afterall. He got to be King in the North for half an episode til he bent the knee, became a flipflop and defended Dany's madness until he changed his mind and killed her while saying ''U are mah qween' and i wubwub u ^-^''

- Arya plotarmor being for nothing. What was the point of her going to King's Landing, not killing Cersei, not killing anyone, just running away from being burnt to crisp 5 times and then suddenly becoming a sailor. Never knew she learnt how to sail somewhere, but whatever, good luck my little Columbus.

- Sansa, well DnD never knew how to write her so I'm not even going to start.

- Tyrion just knowing exactly where Jaime and Cersei were, and apparently the roof did not cave in, they just got a couple of bricks in the face which they could have avoided if they stood 2 meters away from it.

- Bran of all f****** people. Sure I can buy it, if it was GRRMs idea all along. But why would you not give him a role building him up for this instead of just sitting in his goddamn chair doing jack shit. And now he wants to find Drogon? Why? So he can warg into him and go on a conquering rampage?

- ''A Song of Ice and Fire''. Go **** yourself D&D.

[kissdbyfire]

6 hours ago, Triskele said:

Well that's sure where I thought the book was headed, but given the supposed "holy shit moments" D&D reveal...

Are you referring to what David and Dan said n the “Inside the Episode” after episode 509? 

If so, I don’t know... I think they were being very disingenuous w/ the “reveal”. Remember, they’d taken a lot of backlash because of their Sansa Poole idea. So they kind of threw Martin under the bus by revealing that he had told them about Shireen. But what I find interesting is that they said, “when Martin told us this”... not “when Martin told us that Stannis will burn Shireen”. 

The other thing about that is, they said they were utterly shocked to learn that Shireen will burn. And that I thought was hilarious. Is there anyone who has actually read the books that doesn’t expect her to burn? The discussions are always about who will do it, not whether it will happen. But David and Dan never saw it coming and were totally shocked. Explains a lot about their comprehension of the story.

[UnViserion]

Better delete all of this before I’m suspended for debating......

[kissdbyfire]

4 hours ago, teej6 said:

Good critique of the travesty: https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/tv/a27526660/game-of-thrones-season-8-finale-ending-bad-review-analysis-recap/

That was very good, and quite ranty.

This bit here is great:

I'll be honest: I laughed when Bran was elected king. Then I laughed as fucking Jon was sentenced back to the wall. I laughed again when, in a weird moment of meta, self-aware comedy, Jon asked why they even have the Night's Watch anymore. Good point! Why? I laughed when Sansa, for no clear reason, wanted the North to be separateeven though her brother is king.

I laughed as they set up their new government. I laughed thinking about how this is just as corruptible and shitty as their previous government or any other government could be. I laughed when it became clear that Tyrion appears to be the real leader of the Seven Kingdoms (six?) while Bran continued to do whatever the hell it is Bran does. I laughed that none of the prophecies mattered. I laughed that none of the character arcs mattered. I laughed that no one bothered to explain why Bran had fought the Night King so many times before. I laughed that the Children of the Forest just ceased to be. I laughed that Arya never used her Faceless powers (you know, actually taking someone's face) this season after she spent what felt like a billion years learning them. I laughed that the kid who breastfed until he was, like, 12 years old is still alive and looks pretty damn good.

[Ben Adkins]

Bran sits back and wonders, 

Where did it all go wrong? 

Why so many Script blunders,

In this fiery, Icy song? 

 

So he wargs back in time, 

Determined to find the reason. 

To the very scene of the crime, 

The writing of the eighth season. 

 

It’s an evening with David and Dan, lounging by the fire with wine. 

They are passionate with the plan, riffing on story design. 

 

“So, Tyrion’s head, eaten by undead Rickon...... it’s Red Wedding Mark 2!” 

“A vision for viewers to get sick on, Damn! It’s what Martin would do” 

 

“God of Crypts and Whine!! Jesus, I can see the meme” 

Their intelligent grins shine, 

As they’re warming to the theme. 

 

Bran is surprised and  impressed, “More of that story!” He blurts. 

But they drop to the floor distressed! Writhing with epileptic jerks! 

 

You can see their brains have shutdown, from the script our writers retreated. 

Dribbling with confused frown, The phrase continually repeated: 

 

“More of that story!”

“More of that story!”

“Mo da story!”

“Mo da story!”

“Muuu stuury!” 

“Muuu stuury”

“Must Hurry”

“Must Hurry” 

 

So if for a better series you yearn, The culprits ain’t David and Dan. 

From Hodor he did not learn, So blame that interfering twat Bran!

[sweetsunray]

15 hours ago, ramla said:

Thats probably true. But, i just wonder... Had Jon never knew his parentage which, really played only one role at the end. To divide he and dany. Had he never known his love for her wouldn't have wavered and she would have probably felt less threatened by Jons popularity or what have you. Because they all knew he was heir to the throne yet sent him to the wall. So that info served 1 purpose seemingly. 

Well, Bran wasn't the sole one who knew. Eventually Sam would have told Jon. So, that conflict would always arise at some point, but by then Jon might be married to her or she'd be preggers. Plenty viewers presumed would make these things help cover up the issues, but Jon would be upset with Bran not telling him sooner to prevent him from being married to his aunt, or Dany would feel tricked or something. So, the outcome would drive a wedge anyway, except Dany would have far more consolidated power already, beyond her Unsullied and Dothraki, and an armada-less Yara.

Sure, Ned preserved the secret: while Jon was a kid and Robert's dynasty seemed a sure thing and benevolent. Ned would have told Jon, the moment another Targ claimaint arrived in Westeros and Stannis was dead. Hell, Ned probably intended to inform Jon of his parentage as soon as he arrived at the Wall, if he had lived to get there. And if Bran can see in the future that Dany will become a destructive tyrant, he has plenty reason to tell Jon.

A lot of Dany's issues may have been aggrevated because of her knowing of Jon's heritage, but they were there nevertheless and losses could have always pushed Dany to do what she did. She already saw herself as an enlightened tyrant anyway. Jon would have been devestated by that. But yes, you're right, if he had not know, he might have been so attached to her by then, he'd do whatever she wanted and excuse it, and be just like a Jaime to Dany. Awful.  

[The Sunland Lord]

Who the hell is Grey Worm to have a say in matters of ruling of the Seven Kingdoms, and the audacity to decide for Jon freaking Snow's fate? This is something that really pissed me off.

[Ser Hedge]

Yeah, once Drogon flew away, the US and Doth could not have held out for long. They could have been surrounded and starved out. At best, they could have traded Tyrion and Jon off against safe passage. If they were fanatically loyal, they should have killed them anyway, and then negotiated safe passage, which they might have got, in return for avoiding a bloody fight to the last man. Apart from Arya, no one else seemed to care too much about Jon anyway.

[Gendelsdottir]

Well, that? was a giant explosion of stupid. Where did all the Westerosi grownups go? Yes, boys become men grown at 16, and girls become women when they flower, but by the gods! Narnia indeed. More later; still collecting my wits after that prolonged assault on my frontal lobes.

[Isildur's Mane]

So this is going to be rambley but so be it. 

Why would there still be a Nights Watch? The White Walkers were defeated, the wall broken and the wildlings joined to the Norths cause. What point is there for a Nights Watch?

What was the point of Jon coming back to life? Just to kill Dany? Arya could've done that. What was the point of being a Targaryan? Just to foil Dany? I feel like the writers were like "Jon gets everything.... so lets take it all away". There was so much build up for his character in the early sessions (and all through the books) and it just fell limp. But hey, he got to pat Ghost in the end and desert and go live with the wildlings. 
  Also, if Bran only sent Jon to the NW because of the Unsullied... couldn't Bran have just pretended? They were leaving for Naarth anyway. How would they know?

Arya did nothing in the last 2 episodes. She didn't even need to be in KL. I don't get why she learnt how to change faces from the faceless men.... She hardly used those powers. ANd leaving to see what was "west of Westeros"  Sorry, but that just felt some fan servicey. 

And Bronn as Master of Coin? AND lord of High Garden?  Does he even have the skills? Just give him the Gold Cloaks or something. 

And Bran king...... Does HE even have the ability? Stories unite people, yes, but that doesn't mean they'd follow you or obey you. WHat has he shown anyone about how qualified he'd be at ruling? I just don't see it. I know book Bran and show Bran are 2 different people, but I can't see how either would be good in the current climate. 

I just feel like the writers missed the point of the story completely. 
I feel that the point of the story, or so I see it so far in the books, is that all this in fighting is stupid. That they should unite together to fight the common enemey (the others).
Not fight each other, have an interlude of a "long night" and then go back to fighting each other. ANd then once that is done, the North splits off and somehow the fighting has stopped. 

eh.... this has got me all empty inside. But I still have hope... I still hope the books will come out soon and I trust GRRM to show us how it's meant to be. 

[hewman]

Martin said he would like asoiaf to have seven volumes because there’s a certain elegance to it - seven gods, seven kingdoms - he would like to retain. D&D ended up with 6 kingdoms. It’s not really important except to show that while some struggle to attain beauty, even if they possibly fail ultimately, others have something good and chop off a limb of it just for, well I can’t think of a reason. 

[joaozinm]

What endings do you think Martin really told them??

I don't believe Sansa Will be queen in The north, tyrion Will be Hand and bronn Master of coins.

[Johnston]

Why were the Faceless men a thing? 

 

Really what point was there to the whole face changing thing?  Just so Jaqen H'ghar could do some funky shit to impress Arya after Harrenhall?  Just so Arya could take out the Frey's?

 

I'm sure if she was trained by Professional Assassins who didn't use a face swapping app she could have done it without becoming Walder and it wouldn't have detracted anything from the story. . 

[Lady Fevre Dream]

10 hours ago, Corvinus said:

He looked deep into the heart of winter, and then he cried out, afraid, and the heat of his tears burned on his cheeks. "Now you know", the crow whispered as it sat on his shoulder. "Now you know why you must live."

Bran: Nah, I need to live so I can be king.

I was thinking of this quote and vision as well.  And remembering, after that said vision he named Summer....SUMMER, not KING. 

[A Horse Named Stranger]

18 hours ago, Consigliere said:

Nah man, you're not giving Drogon the proper credit he deserves. This is the real reason  why he torched the throne.

I didn't know Drogon was into post structuralism. Maybe I would've known, if he was afforded the same screen time as Arya.

But there are a few flaws with that assumption. Post structuralism is a modern thing in philosophy, so not sure how you could work it into a medieval society. But then again logical consistency has not exactly been the strong point of this season (or a few of the previous ones for that matter). So sure why not. Who could have written the equivalent to Foucault's book in Westeros? I'd go for Aemon.

[kissdbyfire]

I’ve finally forced myself to watch the whole episode, after sleeping through most of it on Sunday. It was much worse than I expected... SIGH. 

- So, Jon meets GW while he’s executing Lannister soldiers. He then walks and walks and walks, and when he reaches the top of the stairs GW is there. Whatever.

- Dany’s ‘rousing’ speech: yes, they destroyed the stone houses and killed the men in their iron suits. Of course there’s no mention of all the innocents who had to die, but fuck it, who cares at this point. 

- convo between Jon and Arya: 

J: What are you doing here?

A: I came to kill Cersei but your queen got there first. 

Only she’d changed her mind and fled BEFORE Cersei died. Whatever. The writers don’t care about the stupid stuff they write, as long as it sounds kewl. 

- How much time has passed between the actual taking of KL and Jon killing Dany? Am I supposed to believe that the scene where Dany is killed is the very first time she sets foot in the throne room? That’s ridiculous.

Also, I had slept through this scene... and I have to say, the way it was done was repulsive. 

- Dragonpit: this is one of the worst scenes EVER. Seriously, it’s stupid from start to finish, not a single redeeming thing about it. The dialogue is so completely atrocious (even for David and Dan’s standards) that I wanted to throw things at the telly. I kept rewinding because I couldn’t believe how bad it sounded and how nonsensical and STUPID the whole thing was. Tobias Menzies turned into a glorified extra, fuck you GoT. A bunch of random nobodies as the “most powerful lords and ladies”, what a fucking joke. And Gendry!!! Fuck me, I didn’t even realise he was there. Only saw him when he said his one line in the who,e episode. What a joke. No wonder Joe Dempsie said what he said about character development. 

- the Unsullied are going to Naath. Ok? Why? No, don’t answer, I don’t care. However, I would like to know... Do they have resources? How will they feed and clothe themselves? What the fuck ever. 

- Brienne lies when writing Jaime’s entry in the white book because... Jaime deserves better after that wham bam thank you ma’am, w/o the thank you part. Fuck you. 

- Tyrion is not mentioned in that stupid book that is supposed to cover the events from RR to the present? Really? REALLY? And I don’t even like Tyrion, but what a joke. The son of a major lord, brother-in-law to the king, brother to the queen, uncle to 2 kings, hand of the king, kinslayer who killed his own father and tried and convicted of killing the king his nephew. I’m sure there’s more, but who the fuck cares.

- Arya has a Stark ship, with a huge direwolf sail and direwolf head on the prow. Where did that come from? 

- Jon is sent to the Wall and immediately deserts. Ghost is half the size Nymeria was last season. Whatever. Ooooooh, a single blade of grass... yes, A DREAM OF SPRING, I get it.

FUCK YOU GOT.