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Dating Thread: "Pain, disorder, occasional clarity"


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I filled out my profile's drinking tag with "never" because I am a teetotaler... or was. I tried a little bit of an alcoholic drink recently and will probably do it again. I've wondered if people who are recovered/in-recovery alcoholics aren't "targeting" me, based on some exchanges I've had with people on the website. 

 

Edit: oops, meant to mention that I might change my drinking tag to something other than "never" in light of my habits which will probably change. 

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On 5/22/2020 at 1:27 PM, Lizard Queen said:

Had my first bad date. We spoke on the phone for one hour and sent all of 4 conversational messages between the two of us prior to speaking over the phone. He made long range plans for things we would do in the future by the end of the call. It was like he was already thinking we would become a couple. I just feel sort of bad bemoaning this all since I pretty much went with the flow during the call. I didn't quite know what I thought at the time, and it's in my nature to be agreeable. Wish I'd just said I didn't know about what he was proposing... I'll just use this a learning experience I guess.

I do feel he was trying to use me --  I mean, we'd just barely began talking and hadn't even seen each other in person whilst he was already making far out plans for us. Like, he was trying to get a girlfriend asap?? Anyway, the suddenness of it all did make me uncomfortable. It's over now though.

He's probably just lonely. I ran into this too with a couple online "matches" last year. Some people are in a hurry to cover up that loneliness, but it's not your problem. 

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2 hours ago, Lizard Queen said:

I filled out my profile's drinking tag with "never" because I am a teetotaler... or was. I tried a little bit of an alcoholic drink recently and will probably do it again. I've wondered if people who are recovered/in-recovery alcoholics aren't "targeting" me, based on some exchanges I've had with people on the website. 

How old are you, exactly? You don't need to give an exact age, just a range. It will be helpful for giving advice.

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1 hour ago, Tywin et al. said:

How old are you, exactly? You don't need to give an exact age, just a range. It will be helpful for giving advice.

Late twenties.

 

3 hours ago, Simon Steele said:

He's probably just lonely. I ran into this too with a couple online "matches" last year. Some people are in a hurry to cover up that loneliness, but it's not your problem. 

I think that was the deal. I did leave the whole thing.

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On 5/25/2020 at 10:32 PM, Lizard Queen said:

I filled out my profile's drinking tag with "never" because I am a teetotaler... or was. I tried a little bit of an alcoholic drink recently and will probably do it again. I've wondered if people who are recovered/in-recovery alcoholics aren't "targeting" me, based on some exchanges I've had with people on the website. 

 

Edit: oops, meant to mention that I might change my drinking tag to something other than "never" in light of my habits which will probably change. 

Well if you switch to rarely or once in a while or what ever the equivalent is on the app that you're using, that might solve the current problem.  There are always unintended consequences though.  Seems weird to me that alcoholics would be targeting teetotalers, but then I don't think I've hit rock bottom yet.

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2 hours ago, mcbigski said:

Well if you switch to rarely or once in a while or what ever the equivalent is on the app that you're using, that might solve the current problem.  There are always unintended consequences though.  Seems weird to me that alcoholics would be targeting teetotalers, but then I don't think I've hit rock bottom yet.

I've read your posts in US politics, you have. 

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Oh my god, already one month is about to pass since I have turned 27. Frustratingly only a few days later I had to show my ID again in order to buy Mon Cheri for Mother's Day. That in addition to the whole pandemic business caused a lot of conflicting thoughts and even made me overcome with negativity for an entire day lately, causing a total paralyzation and wallowing in imaginary misery. I guess I should have posted this in the Mental Wellbeing thread, but my thoughts actually revolve around my ongoing inability to grasp how this whole relationship business works and why I am not able to make myself give up on hoping that it can ever change. I'm already far too old to try and make first experiences, at the same time I apparently still look far too young, adding to my off-putting impression. And of course walking around with a mask on and breathing my breath reminds me every day that I find the human body absolutely disgusting, so I shouldn't even try because of my fear of touching and getting touched by people. Basically the pandemic changed nothing whatsoever for me. In fact I have been increasingly concerned that when the pandemic ends after two years or so then I will only be even older and still stand exactly where I stand right now. It is pointless to worry about and yet I still do for some reason...

That likely made no sense whatsoever, but it's the kind of thinking that weighs me down right now.

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On 5/26/2020 at 1:07 AM, Lizard Queen said:

Late twenties.

K. 

Some people are like that. They want to lock up a relationship quickly. Maybe just even after a date or two. it's not my thing, but many people feel that way. 

16 hours ago, mcbigski said:

Well if you switch to rarely or once in a while or what ever the equivalent is on the app that you're using, that might solve the current problem.  There are always unintended consequences though.  Seems weird to me that alcoholics would be targeting teetotalers, but then I don't think I've hit rock bottom yet.

Scotch time? 

13 hours ago, BigFatCoward said:

I've read your posts in US politics, you have. 

We're coming for your thread too. 

FREEDUMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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1 hour ago, Tywin et al. said:

K. 

Some people are like that. They want to lock up a relationship quickly. Maybe just even after a date or two. it's not my thing, but many people feel that way. 

Not my thing either. Seems weird to me :P.

 

17 hours ago, mcbigski said:

Well if you switch to rarely or once in a while or what ever the equivalent is on the app that you're using, that might solve the current problem.  There are always unintended consequences though.  Seems weird to me that alcoholics would be targeting teetotalers, but then I don't think I've hit rock bottom yet.

I switched it. They didn't have a good option for me, but we'll see. 

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53 minutes ago, Lizard Queen said:

Not my thing either. Seems weird to me :P.

Well everyone is different in that regard. And they have their own reasons why they want to jump into things or take it more slowly. There's no right or wrong way really. Just if you like someone, you have to be understanding that they could want/need different things than you. 

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It took me four years, a pandemic, and a week of riots but I have finally managed to turn Young Boring Danzig from a politically apathetic never voted before clueless white boy into an engaged, intersectional leftist engaged in active demonstration. Like the grinch, my heart has grown three sizes and he has never been more attractive (and YBD was always pretty)

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31 minutes ago, larrytheimp said:

What exact time

11:11. She always said it was special to her. And I swear I keep walking by the digital clock I rely on and it feels like I always see it have that exact time.

My HS sweetheart, that is.

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41 minutes ago, larrytheimp said:

Congratulations on your newly discovered paternity.

Well like I said, I will never know, and as I've said before, she'll never say exactly, but adults can put one and two together. But she's otherwise happily married, and it's best not to get in the way of things.

Was just laughing that the one of her three, maybe four now, kids that is wicked is the one I maybe put in her. Maybe also venting a bit. 

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