Dating Thread: "Pain, disorder, occasional clarity"

[sologdin]

i once associated with someone who thought that adorno's critique of heidegger in the jargon of authenticity was philistine in comparison to derrida's deconstruction of same in aporias. i think you all know me well enough to see why i ran away as fast as possible.

[Larry of the Lawn]

1 hour ago, S John said:

That is exactly what I would think as well.

I would have a really hard time answering the ‘what’s your favorite book’ question. I like a lot of books and a lot of different kinds of books and there are so many out there that I haven’t read, including on my own shelves, that I don’t generally like to re-read things I’ve read before.  In the last four years or so I’ve stared keeping a list of the books I read and highlighting the ones that I particularly liked, but even reading back over that subset I wouldn’t be able to pick the ONE.

Totally.  I couldn't do that either.

I didn't ask her what her favorite book was or anything, this was enthusiastically volunteered.  

My initial comment was more intended as a joke than the actual legitimacy of judging people on aesthetic preferences, but it is always an interesting question and I think at some point we'd all draw a line somewhere.  

And other factors would come into the equation if I was actually going to cut someone off, that wouldn't be the line deal breaker.  I mean, an ex I spent years with loved the band Alter Bridge (Creed with a different singer, I believe).  She was great, the music was abominable.

  But in a vacuum if someone told me they loved that band enough that I'd need to hear their music a few times a week I might rethink things or have us come up with a music treaty or wire the car with two separate sound systems or some such shit.

[S John]

11 minutes ago, larrytheimp said:

Totally.  I couldn't do that either.

I didn't ask her what her favorite book was or anything, this was enthusiastically volunteered.  

My initial comment was more intended as a joke than the actual legitimacy of judging people on aesthetic preferences, but it is always an interesting question and I think at some point we'd all draw a line somewhere.  

And other factors would come into the equation if I was actually going to cut someone off, that wouldn't be the line deal breaker.  I mean, an ex I spent years with loved the band Alter Bridge (Creed with a different singer, I believe).  She was great, the music was abominable.

  But in a vacuum if someone told me they loved that band enough that I'd need to hear their music a few times a week I might rethink things or have us come up with a music treaty or wire the car with two separate sound systems or some such shit.

You work in the construction industry, yes? Maybe this girl thought you’d be into it on that basis and was trying to impress? 

I can’t really comment on Pillars of the Earth because I haven’t read it but I did see the miniseries based on it several years ago. All I remember is that Ian McShane was in it, which is probably what drew me in to watch in the first place. Fair to say it didn’t blow me away since I don’t really remember much about it, but neither was it so shitty that it scarred me or something.

But yea my wife definitely likes one or two things in the entertainment realm that if I had known about it on a first date I probably would have been like... hmmm. And I’m 100% sure that goes both ways. In the end it doesn’t matter because our tastes overlap far more than they don’t. I wouldn’t read too much into it, but it makes for good board fodder!

[The Mance]

I read PotE back in the early 90's, and it was... fine.  I mainly remember it as a brutal and depressing slog for the protag, more than for any stand-out qualities.  I think it was more remarked on at the time because it was such a departure for renowned spy/triller writer, Ken Follett, than because of any inherent merit.   Def a weird favorite, though.

My wife and I came to accord regarding our musical tastes before we got married wherein I would never make her listen to Primus, and she would never subject me to The Cranberries.  One of our better decisions.

[maarsen]

FWIW, never take a first date to watch the genius of Kubrick in A Clockwork Orange. I still get taken to task by that by my wife after almost 40 years. 

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

Never go to the movies in general on a first date. If movie theaters survive the pandemic, that is....

[sologdin]

genius of Kubrick in A Clockwork Orange

goodness.  that's like the old advice that one should not take a date to a performance of richard III, as that play's villainous protagonist invariably disrupts the erotic disposition of the evening.

that said, i had a first date to a john waters film festival. it worked out as one might expect.  
 

[Larry of the Lawn]

52 minutes ago, sologdin said:

. it worked out as one might expect.  

 

An orgy in a rusted out hot-rod beneath some Baltimore bridge?

[sologdin]

the next date would be at a Vegas wedding chapel

i did that one, too. different person than the john waters film festival.  it also worked out as one might expect.

[Datepalm]

On 8/26/2020 at 4:28 PM, larrytheimp said:

Twilight would be one thing.  I could handle that.  Thinking about how someone could read Pillars of the Earth, though, and then declare it her favorite book, is likely going to put me in a state where I am physically unable to participate in the act of love.  

Been there. Dragonlance being the mediocrity in question. Like, is liking Dragonlance wrong? No, of course not. Declaring it your favorite book when you've been trying to connect all evening over - apparently your only point of connection - a self-professedly sophisticated interest in genre literature? The act of love, did, indeed, not occur. I mean, there were other factors to blame than poor Raistlin, but him too.

 

18 hours ago, sologdin said:

i once associated with someone who thought that adorno's critique of heidegger in the jargon of authenticity was philistine in comparison to derrida's deconstruction of same in aporias. i think you all know me well enough to see why i ran away as fast as possible.

I had an undergrad who once violently stormed out after declaring that I stood in service of the structure of the classroom as an oppressive foucaldian panopticon.

Me, genuinely injured, "I fake the attendance sheets..."

[Ser Reptitious]

23 hours ago, S John said:

You work in the construction industry, yes? Maybe this girl thought you’d be into it on that basis and was trying to impress? 

Good point! @larrytheimp, any chance she might have known what you do for a living and therefore tried to impress you this way?

[Fury Resurrected]

On 8/26/2020 at 6:07 PM, sologdin said:

 

that said, i had a first date to a john waters film festival. it worked out as one might expect.  
 

I would super be down for a John Waters date.

 

While I like Clockwork Orange, any date who brought me to see a movie that featured rape in pretty much the opening scenes wouldn’t be getting a call back.

[Inkdaub]

I don't like movies for an early date because it's two hours of not talking at all.  Later dates movies are pretty good.  The best date I have ever been on...based on the date itself and not the resulting relationship which fizzled...was a costume shop.  One of those theater costume reseller type places that is basically a warehouse full of fairly decently made costumes.  We spent hours in that place and had a blast trying on costumes.  

[BigFatCoward]

Also, you cant drink in the cinema. And who wants to be sober on an early date. 

[S John]

1 minute ago, BigFatCoward said:

Also, you cant drink in the cinema. And who wants to be sober on an early date. 

In the US there are a decent number of theaters where you can have beer or cocktails (or burgers or pizza for that matter) served to you at your seat. But yea, agree overall that the movies is a shit first date. 

[BigFatCoward]

Just now, S John said:

In the US there are a decent number of theaters where you can have beer or cocktails (or burgers or pizza for that matter) served to you at your seat. But yea, agree overall that the movies is a shit first date. 

It's not just the availability of booze. I'd be at the toilet 5 times in a 3 hour film.

Good food rather than shit snacks sounds like something the uk needs to get on board with though. 

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

2 hours ago, BigFatCoward said:

Good food rather than shit snacks sounds like something the uk needs to get on board with though. 

Do you guys have dine-in theaters? Where Kay and I grew up there were a few places that would literally seat you restaurant style inside a movie theater and bring you pizza and what not as the movie went on. 

Nowadays the good theaters have restaurants attached to them and/or they bring you the food in the theater. It's expensive, but who hasn't wanted another tall boy midway through a movie? 

(all assuming movie theaters survive the pandemic.....)

[S John]

3 hours ago, BigFatCoward said:

It's not just the availability of booze. I'd be at the toilet 5 times in a 3 hour film.

Good food rather than shit snacks sounds like something the uk needs to get on board with though. 

Yea, I feel ya. that’s exactly why I usually don’t get alcohol at the movies even though it’s an option.

[Inkdaub]

I once asked a girl out...many years ago...and she said yes.  I said we should go to the zoo and she was having none of it.  She was apparently very traditional as far as dates went and was expecting dinner and maybe a movie or a play.  I would have agreed to that for sure but made the mistake of mentioning the zoo.  She dropped me right then and there.

We have some great theaters featuring food service here as well.  My favorite was one of the nicer ones because it had huge seats like .  This theater was also 21+ so fewer teenagers talking and such.   

[sologdin]

dropped me right then

next time make the date to liberate the zoo. righteous conspiracism always focuses up the libidinal urgency.