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Small unworthy things - as you were


BigFatCoward

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3 hours ago, DMC said:

Well, pace yourself and maybe you can control your bowels.

At least you don't disappoint, DMC.

 

This actually reminds me of an incident about 5 years ago.

Since my home area was only 6 hours or so from San Antonio and included casinos, on long weekends I'd take people to visit for fun. On these trips there was a restaurant I'd take people to that served a sampler platter that included a little of everything. Etouffee, jambalaya, meat pies, blackened catfish, etc. etc. Sadly one time the food didn't agree with someone and there was a sharting accident in the restaurant.

Luckily the hotel was only 2 blocks away.

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1 minute ago, A True Kaniggit said:

On these trips there was a restaurant I'd take people to that served a sampler platter that included a little of everything. Etouffee, jambalaya, meat pies, blackened catfish, etc. etc. Sadly one time the food didn't agree with someone and there was a sharting accident in the restaurant.

Luckily the hotel was only 2 blocks away.

And luckily it only happened once!

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People need to stop pushing the metric system there is always an easy work around 

I was working with a very old Christmas  recipe for 6 people and I needed to scale it up for 13 people, 
I just encouraged one person to get a divorce and doubled everything.

Has anyone else got good pro metric system rants

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On 1/4/2020 at 6:55 PM, chuck norris 42 said:

People need to stop pushing the metric system there is always an easy work around 

I was working with a very old Christmas  recipe for 6 people and I needed to scale it up for 13 people, 
I just encouraged one person to get a divorce and doubled everything.

Has anyone else got good pro metric system rants

Look up the definitions of an inch or a foot or any other non SI measurement.

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So I thought this was kinda..interesting that I learned over the holidays.  My mom did one of those ancestry kits recently, and while I was visiting she told me she found out the name of her biological father - someone I've never met and she refused to.  My biological grandfather's name is, apparently, Alan Moore.  I didn't ask her on the spelling, but I immediately pointed out "hey, there's this dude..." and she thought it was hilarious.

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One for the lawyers

Quote

A Kansas man has asked an Iowa judge to let him engage in a sword fight with his ex-wife and her attorney in a trial by combat that will settle their ongoing legal dispute.

David Ostrom, 40, of Paola, Kansas, said in a 3 January court filing that his former wife, Bridgette Ostrom, 38, of Harlan, Iowa, and her attorney, Matthew Hudson, had “destroyed (him) legally”.

The judge had the power to let the parties “resolve our disputes on the field of battle, legally,” David Ostrom said, adding in his filing that trial by combat “has never been explicitly banned or restricted as a right in these United States”.

He also asked the judge for 12 weeks’ time so he could secure Japanese samurai swords.

I especially like that he asked for the time to procure the weapons of choice :) 

edit: @Ser Scot A Ellison How would you rate his chances? And would you ever pick up a blade to defend your client? :) 

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51 minutes ago, Old Zog said:

If he's challenging his ex-wife, shouldn't she get to choose the weapons? (I suspect she's quite happy to stick to the traditional weapon: lawyers.)

Also, the ex-wife should be allowed to pick her own champion. The challenger seems to be assuming that his opponent must be the ex-wife’s attorney.

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4 hours ago, Teng Ai Hui said:

Also, the ex-wife should be allowed to pick her own champion. The challenger seems to be assuming that his opponent must be the ex-wife’s attorney.

Fire is the champion of House Ostrom.”

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6 hours ago, Old Zog said:

If he's challenging his ex-wife, shouldn't she get to choose the weapons? (I suspect she's quite happy to stick to the traditional weapon: lawyers.)

Have you ever tried slapping somebody with a lawyer? They're heavier than they look.

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6 hours ago, Old Zog said:

If he's challenging his ex-wife, shouldn't she get to choose the weapons? (I suspect she's quite happy to stick to the traditional weapon: lawyers.)

Traditionally, I think they both bring one weapon. Then they flip a shield to see who gets which weapon. 

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15 hours ago, HelenaExMachina said:

One for the lawyers

I especially like that he asked for the time to procure the weapons of choice :) 

edit: @Ser Scot A Ellison How would you rate his chances? And would you ever pick up a blade to defend your client? :) 

Low.  And, no.  :)

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1 hour ago, Soylent Brown said:

Just note down all the times she screws you over in the morning now, and pay her back when she's a teenager.

I plan to discipline her by transferring money out of her university fund in front of her. Every time she is naughty I get closer to a Rolex. 

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