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RhaenysBee

TTTNE 476 - the ghost of series past

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4 hours ago, Buckwheat said:

Three "we are sorry to inform you that you are not chosen for this job" emails in one day. :( I am losing hope here.

Naaaah, don’t lose hope. I received two of the same this week, and sister just received a rejection letter to a school student mentoring program. Whoever in the right mind rejected her application, I have no idea, but I’ve known her for 20 years and she was made to be a student mentor. She has been an unofficial student mentor since she started second grade. So just because there’s a rejection letter, doesn’t mean you aren’t cut out for something or good enough, it just means you need to hang in there a bit longer. This year is really trying all our patience... don’t give up hope :grouphug: 

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47 minutes ago, RhaenysBee said:

Naaaah, don’t lose hope. I received two of the same this week, and sister just received a rejection letter to a school student mentoring program. Whoever in the right mind rejected her application, I have no idea, but I’ve known her for 20 years and she was made to be a student mentor. She has been an unofficial student mentor since she started second grade. So just because there’s a rejection letter, doesn’t mean you aren’t cut out for something or good enough, it just means you need to hang in there a bit longer. This year is really trying all our patience... don’t give up hope :grouphug: 

Thanks. :grouphug: I have got so many rejection letters recently that it really hurts my confidence in this whole job search thingy. Most of the rejections were without interviews, so I feel like I am getting nowhere. Sorry to hear about yours and sister's too.

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9 hours ago, Buckwheat said:

Thanks. :grouphug: I have got so many rejection letters recently that it really hurts my confidence in this whole job search thingy. Most of the rejections were without interviews, so I feel like I am getting nowhere. Sorry to hear about yours and sister's too.

I know :( but you’re strong and smart and great. Something will have to come up eventually! Thanks! I’m trying to stay positive too, I know that there are very few openings for positions that my experience qualifies for right now, as businesses’ priorities are elsewhere, so it’s unfortunate but understandable and logical that I take such an awful long time to get hired. What can I do but wait it out? :dunno: 
 

anyway, we have great weather today and my mum’s getting back later in the afternoon so I’ll be taking a train to return to the city as the dog sitting is over. I also have a doctor’s appointment in the evening, and I cannot wait to finally get myself, well if not fixed right away, at least checked. I kinda hope it’s nothing too bad. And I’m really tired because I haven’t been sleeping well these past few days. 

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1 hour ago, RhaenysBee said:

I know :( but you’re strong and smart and great. Something will have to come up eventually! Thanks! I’m trying to stay positive too, I know that there are very few openings for positions that my experience qualifies for right now, as businesses’ priorities are elsewhere, so it’s unfortunate but understandable and logical that I take such an awful long time to get hired. What can I do but wait it out? :dunno: 
 

anyway, we have great weather today and my mum’s getting back later in the afternoon so I’ll be taking a train to return to the city as the dog sitting is over. I also have a doctor’s appointment in the evening, and I cannot wait to finally get myself, well if not fixed right away, at least checked. I kinda hope it’s nothing too bad. And I’m really tired because I haven’t been sleeping well these past few days. 

I actually have a lot of openings to apply for, I have sent out almost 40 applications since the beginning of June, and am still getting almost nowhere. It looks like I am really useless. :dunno: I have come to the point where it just feels like I am sending out these applications for its own sake without the chance of it leading anywhere else. I should be using this time to write on my dissertation, but instead I am stressing out about the jobs, and I end up having no motivation to do anything at all.

We have great summery weather here too. Good luck with the doctor's appointment, hope it gets fixed soon.

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35 minutes ago, Buckwheat said:

I actually have a lot of openings to apply for, I have sent out almost 40 applications since the beginning of June, and am still getting almost nowhere. It looks like I am really useless. :dunno: I have come to the point where it just feels like I am sending out these applications for its own sake without the chance of it leading anywhere else. I should be using this time to write on my dissertation, but instead I am stressing out about the jobs, and I end up having no motivation to do anything at all.

We have great summery weather here too. Good luck with the doctor's appointment, hope it gets fixed soon.

I absolutely sympathize. Applying for jobs must be the least motivating activity in the world. It’s tedious, boring and the success rate is low. But that’s what it is and at least it trains us to be more patient and persevering (I know I need to improve in that area, not saying the same may be the case for you). Is there a deadline on your dissertation? Or is it just something you submit whenever you’re ready? Not sure how post grad works. 

Thank you, I hope so too. 
 

I’ve been teaching the Chancellor to “Stay”. It’s going pretty well, he more or less mastered it in two days, though I still give him a treat for every second “staying”. (not a whole treat, I usually break them up in three because he eats too much as it is). I can tell from his eyes he can’t wrap his little head around what the hell this is good for, but he does it anyway and It’s so adorable. 
And it finally seems like we’ll be finalizing the plans and ordering the built-ins for sister’s flat. Ah, I just can’t wait. 

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2 hours ago, RhaenysBee said:

I absolutely sympathize. Applying for jobs must be the least motivating activity in the world. It’s tedious, boring and the success rate is low. But that’s what it is and at least it trains us to be more patient and persevering (I know I need to improve in that area, not saying the same may be the case for you). Is there a deadline on your dissertation? Or is it just something you submit whenever you’re ready? Not sure how post grad works. 

Thank you, I hope so too. 
 

I’ve been teaching the Chancellor to “Stay”. It’s going pretty well, he more or less mastered it in two days, though I still give him a treat for every second “staying”. (not a whole treat, I usually break them up in three because he eats too much as it is). I can tell from his eyes he can’t wrap his little head around what the hell this is good for, but he does it anyway and It’s so adorable. 
And it finally seems like we’ll be finalizing the plans and ordering the built-ins for sister’s flat. Ah, I just can’t wait. 

I have now decided to also apply for slightly less desirable teaching jobs (after-school hours for younger kids) because that might be easier to achieve. I would not even be teaching my subjects then, but I suppose at least better than nothing.

There is no actual official deadline, but there is a date until when the topic is approved, and if you miss this, you would probably have to go through the whole process again to get your topic approved again. I am nowhere near that date yet, but I know that I have to work on it. I also know that when I get into it, I really really get into it and enjoy writing it. I just really have to be in the right headspace and being pessimistic about it bringing you anywhere in life is not it.

Have we seen chancellor's picture yet? :) My cousin's dog can now sit when you convince her with treats, sometimes also lie down. And she knows to sit when her leash is brought out and needs to be hooked on her collar. But while outside on a walk, she often pulls towards home, she does not trust me enough apparently.

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6 hours ago, Buckwheat said:

I have now decided to also apply for slightly less desirable teaching jobs (after-school hours for younger kids) because that might be easier to achieve. I would not even be teaching my subjects then, but I suppose at least better than nothing.

There is no actual official deadline, but there is a date until when the topic is approved, and if you miss this, you would probably have to go through the whole process again to get your topic approved again. I am nowhere near that date yet, but I know that I have to work on it. I also know that when I get into it, I really really get into it and enjoy writing it. I just really have to be in the right headspace and being pessimistic about it bringing you anywhere in life is not it.

Have we seen chancellor's picture yet? :) My cousin's dog can now sit when you convince her with treats, sometimes also lie down. And she knows to sit when her leash is brought out and needs to be hooked on her collar. But while outside on a walk, she often pulls towards home, she does not trust me enough apparently.

Ah that doesn’t sound too bad. My friend used to teach maths to kids as a side job and it was a good source of income. Though she liked both maths and kids. Do you know what you’d be teaching? 
I should be applying to the competitors and partners of my previous company, but they don’t have openings and I’m soooooo not motivated to put the time and energy into composing customized cover letters for non-existent jobs. Right now my only viable option is the meeting with my father’s friend’s daughter who really really really wants to start a business, so we’ll be working on some business plans and ideas. Then again I’d really like to believe in a business before I start it and I’m awfully cynical, so who knows if anything comes of that too. 

Ah, I see, that makes sense. Do I understand correctly that you can’t quite get into the right headspace until the job situation is settled? I know it’s easier said than done, but maybe concentrating on something else might benefit the job search as well. Of course it’s absolutely up to you what you focus on and I know too well how difficult it is to redirect one’s mind from something that bothers it. 

Alas, both the Chancellor and Prince William are theoretically and administratively sister’s pets and thus I’m not allowed to share pictures of them. (Not that sister would ever know, but I’m scared of her :lol: ) The Chancellor is a purebred Weimaraner though, so it’s not difficult to picture his appearance. He is quite bad with walks too, because he isn’t used to them yet and pulls every time he sees another dog. He’s fine out in the fields, but it’s a struggle to get him down the street. His other skills include “No” and “Sit” and “High five”. Extended with “Stay” now. 

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5 minutes ago, RhaenysBee said:

Ah that doesn’t sound too bad. My friend used to teach maths to kids as a side job and it was a good source of income. Though she liked both maths and kids. Do you know what you’d be teaching?

It is good if you actually like working with large groups of kids and this is your entry point into the teaching profession.

If I got one of these less desirable (for me) jobs, I wouldn't be teaching anything, really. At best, some extra-curricular activities. These are just teachers who take care of the younger kids (up to about 10 or 11) who cannot be trusted to spend the whole afternoon alone at home and stay in school after the classes end, usually eat lunch there, do their homework, and usually have some creative activities, sports, and free time to play in the school. As a teacher in this position, you don't actually teach a subject, at best you organise extra activities and check and help with their homework. So for me, it is actually far from what I want to be doing with my life, but it would be a job ... of some kind.

There seem to be plenty of openings for these positions, but I don't know if any of them will want me ... same as with other positions.

5 minutes ago, RhaenysBee said:

I should be applying to the competitors and partners of my previous company, but they don’t have openings and I’m soooooo not motivated to put the time and energy into composing customized cover letters for non-existent jobs. Right now my only viable option is the meeting with my father’s friend’s daughter who really really really wants to start a business, so we’ll be working on some business plans and ideas. Then again I’d really like to believe in a business before I start it and I’m awfully cynical, so who knows if anything comes of that too.

Good luck with that business, I hope it is going to be an idea you actually believe in. ;) Cover letters absolutely suck. I hate praising myself and I, despite the fact that I flatter myself by considering myself a fairly creative person in some ways, I just cannot find tens of different ways of telling people I want exactly the same job posted at different places.

5 minutes ago, RhaenysBee said:

Ah, I see, that makes sense. Do I understand correctly that you can’t quite get into the right headspace until the job situation is settled? I know it’s easier said than done, but maybe concentrating on something else might benefit the job search as well. Of course it’s absolutely up to you what you focus on and I know too well how difficult it is to redirect one’s mind from something that bothers it.

Probably it would be easier if I knew "okay, in September, I am going to start job X, and until then, I have time to do this", yes. If I am dividing concentration between two so different things that partly cancel each other out (the PhD does nothing towards qualifying for any job opening I have seen until now, if I am applying for jobs I don't need a PhD for, I feel like I am throwing away the things I am best at) and that are so difficult in their own ways (writing a dissertation is more intellectually challenging, writing cover letters and applying for jobs is just more tedious and stressful, but not difficult in the same way), I feel like I get nowhere with either.

5 minutes ago, RhaenysBee said:

Alas, both the Chancellor and Prince William are theoretically and administratively sister’s pets and thus I’m not allowed to share pictures of them. (Not that sister would ever know, but I’m scared of her :lol: ) The Chancellor is a purebred Weimaraner though, so it’s not difficult to picture his appearance. He is quite bad with walks too, because he isn’t used to them yet and pulls every time he sees another dog. He’s fine out in the fields, but it’s a struggle to get him down the street. His other skills include “No” and “Sit” and “High five”. Extended with “Stay” now. 

All understood, I don't often share pictures here either. :) These Weimaraners look beautiful. Is the Chancellor scared of other dogs and wants to pull away, or towards them because he wants to play? High five is a neat trick to teach a dog!

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Aw Buck don’t feel too sad about not getting those jobs, I think you are perfect to be a teacher!.

My gran very kindly has taken the kids for the weekend, well she was overjoyed to spend some time with them, other mrs Sith has also booted her sister out for the Weekend so we have the house to ourselves for two whole days, last night I had a full,uninterrupted 8 hours sleep AND I got breakfast in bed, I feel very special and spoiled right now, it has been a nice lift for my mental health too.

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On 7/9/2020 at 8:55 PM, Buckwheat said:

It is good if you actually like working with large groups of kids and this is your entry point into the teaching profession.

If I got one of these less desirable (for me) jobs, I wouldn't be teaching anything, really. At best, some extra-curricular activities. These are just teachers who take care of the younger kids (up to about 10 or 11) who cannot be trusted to spend the whole afternoon alone at home and stay in school after the classes end, usually eat lunch there, do their homework, and usually have some creative activities, sports, and free time to play in the school. As a teacher in this position, you don't actually teach a subject, at best you organise extra activities and check and help with their homework. So for me, it is actually far from what I want to be doing with my life, but it would be a job ... of some kind.

There seem to be plenty of openings for these positions, but I don't know if any of them will want me ... same as with other positions.

Ah see. I can see why it’s a less desirable job for you, but if getting on of these positions makes you feel better about the job situation, then fingers crossed for you! 
 

On 7/9/2020 at 8:55 PM, Buckwheat said:

Good luck with that business, I hope it is going to be an idea you actually believe in. ;) Cover letters absolutely suck. I hate praising myself and I, despite the fact that I flatter myself by considering myself a fairly creative person in some ways, I just cannot find tens of different ways of telling people I want exactly the same job posted at different places.

I don’t know, I’ve known this person for 5 minutes, and maybe believing in an idea is not enough in itself, because there should be trust and mutual understanding before you team up with someone for something like that.
yes, exactly. Cover letters are tedious because you kinda have to convince people you want to work with them, when in fact you don’t give a shit about them, you just want any job that’s right for you. 
 

On 7/9/2020 at 8:55 PM, Buckwheat said:

Probably it would be easier if I knew "okay, in September, I am going to start job X, and until then, I have time to do this", yes. If I am dividing concentration between two so different things that partly cancel each other out (the PhD does nothing towards qualifying for any job opening I have seen until now, if I am applying for jobs I don't need a PhD for, I feel like I am throwing away the things I am best at) and that are so difficult in their own ways (writing a dissertation is more intellectually challenging, writing cover letters and applying for jobs is just more tedious and stressful, but not difficult in the same way), I feel like I get nowhere with either.

Again I sympathize. There’s nothing fun about applying for jobs and one would rather be doing other things. Then again, if you do other things you feels shit for not working on getting a job, which is what you are supposed to do in this world. Hope you find the right choice and balance for you. 
 

On 7/9/2020 at 8:55 PM, Buckwheat said:

All understood, I don't often share pictures here either. :) These Weimaraners look beautiful. Is the Chancellor scared of other dogs and wants to pull away, or towards them because he wants to play? High five is a neat trick to teach a dog!

No, he’s the bravest dog we ever had, he’s not afraid of thunder or storms or anything. He just wants to play and explore everything. One of our neighbors has a Caucasian puppy, and he always tries to play with him too, they race along the fence and “fight” each other. And Prince William’s daughter often plays with him too.  
 

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4 hours ago, Jen'ari said:

Aw Buck don’t feel too sad about not getting those jobs, I think you are perfect to be a teacher!.

My gran very kindly has taken the kids for the weekend, well she was overjoyed to spend some time with them, other mrs Sith has also booted her sister out for the Weekend so we have the house to ourselves for two whole days, last night I had a full,uninterrupted 8 hours sleep AND I got breakfast in bed, I feel very special and spoiled right now, it has been a nice lift for my mental health too.

I am really, really not. I am way too strict and demanding, and have been told I sometimes act cold. Totally not something you want a person teaching your child to be.

Enjoy your weekend! I am sure both mini Siths are going to have good time with the great-grandmother. :) 

3 hours ago, RhaenysBee said:

Ah see. I can see why it’s a less desirable job for you, but if getting on of these positions makes you feel better about the job situation, then fingers crossed for you!

I don’t know, I’ve known this person for 5 minutes, and maybe believing in an idea is not enough in itself, because there should be trust and mutual understanding before you team up with someone for something like that.
yes, exactly. Cover letters are tedious because you kinda have to convince people you want to work with them, when in fact you don’t give a shit about them, you just want any job that’s right for you.

Again I sympathize. There’s nothing fun about applying for jobs and one would rather be doing other things. Then again, if you do other things you feels shit for not working on getting a job, which is what you are supposed to do in this world. Hope you find the right choice and balance for you.

No, believing in an idea is not enough in itself, but I suppose it is a start. :) You should definitely trust the person you are dealing with, of course.

Yep, exactly as you say about cover letters. I am stressing about this job thing way too much and cannot stop thinking about it even when I am working on something else. This cannot be good.

3 hours ago, RhaenysBee said:

No, he’s the bravest dog we ever had, he’s not afraid of thunder or storms or anything. He just wants to play and explore everything. One of our neighbors has a Caucasian puppy, and he always tries to play with him too, they race along the fence and “fight” each other. And Prince William’s daughter often plays with him too.  

I just googled Caucasian dogs - these are giant!

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Posted (edited)
On 7/11/2020 at 4:02 PM, Buckwheat said:

Yep, exactly as you say about cover letters. I am stressing about this job thing way too much and cannot stop thinking about it even when I am working on something else. This cannot be good.

 

I know it’s no comfort, but know that I’m in the same shoes. As in, no dissertation, but I do find it impossible to enjoy activities I only have time for now, because I’m stressed about other things. 

Yep, caucasians are quite large. 

 

Here’s a ridiculous first world problem: should I finish my book before the next installment arrives or should I wait in case it doesn’t arrive and save the book for when I’m in the country? 

Edited by RhaenysBee

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Posted (edited)
On 7/11/2020 at 4:02 PM, Buckwheat said:

Yep, exactly as you say about cover letters. I am stressing about this job thing way too much and cannot stop thinking about it even when I am working on something else. This cannot be good.

 

I know it’s no comfort, but know that I’m in the same shoes. 

 

ETA: huh. Interesting. No idea how my browser managed this. 

Edited by RhaenysBee

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5 hours ago, RhaenysBee said:
I know it’s no comfort, but know that I’m in the same shoes. As in, no dissertation, but I do find it impossible to enjoy activities I only have time for now, because I’m stressed about other things. 

Yep, caucasians are quite large. 

 

Here’s a ridiculous first world problem: should I finish my book before the next installment arrives or should I wait in case it doesn’t arrive and save the book for when I’m in the country? 

Thanks. Good to know I am not alone in this situation. :grouphug: I got 4 rejection letters just today. I can do nothing but keep sending them around and hope that once employers are in a hurry to get somebody, they will lower their expectations and the better candidates will have been taken by then ... then I might have a chance somewhere.

I think you should finish reading it because when I don't read a book for a long time, I forget what was happening in it before and it is harder to start reading again.

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17 hours ago, Buckwheat said:

Thanks. Good to know I am not alone in this situation. :grouphug: I got 4 rejection letters just today. I can do nothing but keep sending them around and hope that once employers are in a hurry to get somebody, they will lower their expectations and the better candidates will have been taken by then ... then I might have a chance somewhere.

I think you should finish reading it because when I don't read a book for a long time, I forget what was happening in it before and it is harder to start reading again.

Ah I’m sorry, that’s really demotivating. But you’re a good candidate and something will come along. :grouphug: 

That’s a good point. Will go ahead and read it. Meanwhile I also finished my first audiobook, which was phenomenal. Now the pressure to pick another equally excellent one is upon me. First world problems.

I had an awful cappuccino yesterday. It gave me a horrible caffeine high, I barely slept and I swear to god I can still feel it. Although it’s likely that what I feel now is some weird lack-of-sleep frenzy rather than caffeine high. Ugh. What a terrible cup of coffee it was. 

 

 

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10 hours ago, RhaenysBee said:

Ah I’m sorry, that’s really demotivating. But you’re a good candidate and something will come along. :grouphug: 

That’s a good point. Will go ahead and read it. Meanwhile I also finished my first audiobook, which was phenomenal. Now the pressure to pick another equally excellent one is upon me. First world problems.

I had an awful cappuccino yesterday. It gave me a horrible caffeine high, I barely slept and I swear to god I can still feel it. Although it’s likely that what I feel now is some weird lack-of-sleep frenzy rather than caffeine high. Ugh. What a terrible cup of coffee it was. 

only got three rejections today, so ... that's a win I guess? :dunno: I suppose I have to balance that out by sending three more today.

I finished reading a book I had been struggling with a loooooong time today. It was ... not awful.

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2 hours ago, Buckwheat said:

only got three rejections today, so ... that's a win I guess? :dunno: I suppose I have to balance that out by sending three more today.

I finished reading a book I had been struggling with a loooooong time today. It was ... not awful.

That’s the positive outlook we all need this year. Hang in there, soon it’ll be a job you get. 

:lol: what is this not awful book? 
 

went out with a friend, it was great. Just no words to describe how great it is to talk  to and spend time with peers. I feel so normal. Tomorrow, sister and I will have brunch and go to the island animal park to pet bunnies.

And I need to get a new hairdresser because we can’t seem to get the simplest of requests right at my current salon. Well a 2007 Avril Lavigne haircut is still better than a 1997 Rachel haircut, so I have nothing to complain about. 

 

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Bleh. Just feel horrible about the whole life situation. And then whenever I am sad and lonely, I inevitably start missing my ex, with whom I am no longer together for more than two years, but I still miss him so much sometimes and it makes me even more lonely and then I have to go to bed alone and I cry and it is terrible. I mean, I am used to it by now, because I have spent the majority of my 28 years feeling lonely, but it doesn't stop feeling terrible. I feel like such a loser in ALL areas of my life. Crap.

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18 hours ago, Buckwheat said:

Bleh. Just feel horrible about the whole life situation. And then whenever I am sad and lonely, I inevitably start missing my ex, with whom I am no longer together for more than two years, but I still miss him so much sometimes and it makes me even more lonely and then I have to go to bed alone and I cry and it is terrible. I mean, I am used to it by now, because I have spent the majority of my 28 years feeling lonely, but it doesn't stop feeling terrible. I feel like such a loser in ALL areas of my life. Crap.

:grouphug:  You are not a loser. 

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2 hours ago, RhaenysBee said:

:grouphug:  You are not a loser. 

I mean ... 28, living with parents, single while not wanting to be, jobless ... I could think of ways to construe this situation as "loser".

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