What modern profession/roles would asoiaf characters hold?

[Is he a ham?]

Edit: Updated version down below.

If ASOIAF characters existed in the mordern world, which roles/jobs would fit each of them best? Here's my idea:

 

Robert: Washed up college football player. Tend to drink a lot and talks about his glory days. Somehow elected mayor of a large town because of his charisma.

 

Stannis: Hard as nails judge. Secretly has a great sense of humor.

 

Renly: Owner of a successful fashion brand. Very popular with most people in the town.

 

Loras: Flashy soccer athlete. Followed by many young women on Instagram.

 

Samwell: Writer of a somewhat popular medieval fantasy novel series with a very loyal fanbase. However, the long delay between book release often causes the fans to start discussing things like soup temperature.

 

Ned: Ex military with PTSD. Is currently the police chief of the town. Loved by almost everyone in town.

 

Bran: Learning to operate the town's surveillance cameras.

 

Arya: Training for the SWAT.

 

Sansa: Used to be the popular hot girl in school. Now she is an aspiring entrepreneur.

 

Robb: Captain of well known soccer team.

 

Catelyn: Soccer mom.

 

Jon: Captain of obscure hockey team. He was thinking about quitting hockey and getting into soccer like his brother but his teammates convinced him to stay.

 

Benjen: Old member of said hockey team. One day he went out for some cigarettes and was never seen again. Some say that he has joined a PMC while other claims that he is a criminal pirate.

 

Ygritte: Member of rival hockey team. Rumored to have dated Jon for a while. She's also a human rights and environmental activist.

 

Theon: Abandoned by his family when he was little. Ned adopted him because he was a childhood friend of Robb. A Stark in the streets and a Greyjoy in the sheets.

 

Jon Con: Tough, ruthless police captain. Constantly butts head with The Ned because his highschool crush moved to another town with Ned's sister. His bedroom is covered with pictures of Rhaegar.

 

Tywin: Founder of a multinational business empire, focusing on the excavation of precious materials, with the corporate headquarters is located in Robert's town. He is rumored to have made use of

PMCs.

 

Cersei: Inherited aforementioned business empire. Doesn't run it very well and replaced most competent staffs with bootlickers. Rumors has it that she sleeps with multiple employees

 

Jaime: Was a popular soccer athlete in highschool. Went against his father's wishes and joined a large soccer team. He became cocky due to his skills. However, everyone hates him because of an own goal incident that caused his team to lose a big match. That only made him more cocky and edgy until he got an injury. He is currently a humble soccer coach and inspirational speaker. Many people still hate him but those who know him admire him. He has a great sense of humor.

 

Tyrion: Well known, popular club owner. He's a pretty chill and funny dude, and he's great at chess. He has serious daddy issues though.

 

Joffrey: Spoiled rich singer. Everyone knows he's an asshole and his voice sucks but puts up with it because he's rich and has influence.

 

Tommen: Owner of a cat rescue center in the town. Doesn't like beets.

 

Sandor: Works for Blackwater Security and takes pride in the fact that he's not a soldier like his brother.

 

Gregor: Brutal Marine Raider.

 

Oberyn: Famous Hollywood actor. Known to be a carefree playboy. Loves to travel, drink, and has sex. Once picked a fight with Gregor which didn't end very well.

 

Brienne: Celebrity journalists. She is about to publish her journal and interview of Jaime.

 

Pod: Brienne's assistant.

 

Hyle: Brienne's rival who just can't beat her no matter what he does (Like Eddie and Peter in Spider Man 3)

Roose: Well known and experienced heart surgeon. Cold and uncharismatic but really loves his wife. Weak pullout game though.

 

Ramsay: Infamous serial killer. Caught by Ned. Founded guilty by Stannis. Currently on death row.

 

Hot Pie: Chef of a popular bakery restaurant.

 

Shitmouth: Funny waiter of aforementioned restaurant.

 

Varys: Talented hair stylist. Also loves to gossip.

 

Petyr: Shady af entrepreneur.

 

Asha: Rapper with many popular diss tracks.

 

Aeron: Lifeguard. Used to be a carfree teenager until a near drowning accident. After that, he has dedicated his life to preventing something like that happening to someone else.

 

Thoros: Paramedic. Advocates universal healthcare.

 

Rhaegar: Was the sexy, popular, and multi talented heartthrob in his highschool. Moved away with and married Lyanna, his highschool sweetheart (To the dismay of several people, especially Jon). Currently works as a pretty rich accountant.

 

Dany: Was a popular prom queen from the next town over. Currently studying politics. There are rumors going around saying that she'll move over to Robert's town next year.

 

Drogo: Was a popular American football star from Dany's highschool until he got injured badly and left school. He was dating Dany for a while but they broke up since he left.

[Nagini's Neville]

On 30. Oktober 2019 at 6:33 AM, Is he a ham? said:

If ASOIAF characters existed in the mordern world, which roles/jobs would fit each of them best? Here's my idea:

 

Robert: Washed up college football player. Tend to drink a lot and talks about his glory days. Somehow elected mayor of a large town because of his charisma.

 

Stannis: Hard as nails judge. Secretly has a great sense of humor.

 

Renly: Owner of a successful fashion brand. Very popular with most people in the town.

 

Loras: Flashy soccer athlete. Followed by many young women on Instagram.

 

Samwell: Writer of a somewhat popular medieval fantasy novel series with a very loyal fanbase. However, the long delay between book release often causes the fans to start discussing things like soup temperature.

 

Ned: Ex military with PTSD. Is currently the police chief of the town.

 

Bran: Learning to operate the town's surveillance cameras.

 

Arya: Training for the SWAT.

 

Sansa: Used to be the popular hot girl in school. Now she is an aspiring entrepreneur.

 

Robb: Captain of well known soccer team.

 

Catelyn: Soccer mom.

 

Jon: Captain of obscure hockey team. He was thinking about quitting hockey and getting into soccer like his brother but his teammates convinced him to stay.

 

Benjen: Old member of said hockey team. One day he went out for some cigarettes and was never seen again. Some say that he has joined a PMC while other claims that he is a criminal pirate.

 

Ygritte: Member of rival hockey team. Rumored to have dated Jon for a while. She's also a human rights and environmental activist.

 

Theon: Abandoned by his family when he was little. Ned adopted him because he was a childhood friend of Robb. A Stark in the streets and a Greyjoy in the sheets.

 

Jon Con: Tough, ruthless police captain. Constantly butts head with The Ned because his highschool crush moved to another town with Ned's sister. His bedroom is covered with pictures of Rhaegar.

 

Tywin: Founder of a multinational business empire, focusing on the excavation of precious materials, with the corporate headquarters is located in Robert's town. He is rumored to have made use of

PMCs.

 

Cersei: Inherited aforementioned business empire. Doesn't run it very well and replaced most competent staffs with bootlickers. Rumors has it that she sleeps with multiple employees

 

Jaime: Was a popular soccer athlete in highschool. Went against his father's wishes and joined a large soccer team. He became cocky due to his skills. However, everyone hates him because of an own goal incident that caused his team to lose a big match. That only made him more cocky and edgy until he got an injury. He is currently a humble soccer coach and inspirational speaker. Many people still hate him but those who know him admire him. He has a great sense of humor.

 

Tyrion: Well known, popular club owner. He's a pretty chill and funny dude, and he's great at chess. He has serious daddy issues though.

 

Joffrey: Spoiled rich singer. Everyone knows he's an asshole and his voice sucks but puts up with it because he's rich and has influence.

 

Tommen: Owner of a cat rescue center in the town. Doesn't like beets.

 

Sandor: Works for Blackwater Security and takes pride in the fact that he's not a soldier like his brother.

 

Gregor: Brutal Marine Raider.

 

Oberyn: Famous Hollywood actor. Known to be a carefree playboy. Loves to travel, drink, and has sex. Once picked a fight with Gregor which didn't end very well.

 

Brienne: Celebrity journalists. She is about to publish her journal and interview of Jaime.

 

Pod: Brienne's assistant.

 

Hyle: Brienne's rival who just can't beat her no matter what he does (Like Eddie and Peter in Spider Man 3)

Roose: Well known and experienced heart surgeon. Cold and uncharismatic but really loves his wife. Weak pullout game though.

 

Ramsay: Infamous serial killer. Caught by Ned. Founded guilty by Stannis. Currently on death row.

 

Hot Pie: Chef of a popular bakery restaurant.

 

Shitmouth: Funny waiter of aforementioned restaurant.

 

Varys: Talented hair stylist. Also loves to gossip.

 

Petyr: Shady af entrepreneur.

 

Asha: Rapper with many popular diss tracks.

 

Aeron: Lifeguard. Used to be a carfree teenager until a near drowning accident. After that, he has dedicated his life to preventing something like that happening to someone else.

 

Thoros: Paramedic. Advocates universal healthcare.

 

Rhaegar: Was the sexy, popular, and multi talented heartthrob in his highschool. Moved away with and married Lyanna, his highschool sweetheart (To the dismay of several people, especially Jon). Currently works as a pretty rich accountant.

 

Dany: Was a popular prom queen from the next town over. Currently studying politics. There are rumors going around saying that she'll move over to Robert's town next year.

 

Drogo: Was a popular American football star from Dany's highschool until he got injured badly and left school. He was dating Dany for a while but they broke up since he left.

this is brilliant!! The Europan in me is happy it revolves all around football (soccer) 

[Is he a ham?]

I just figured that knights and fighters= athletes with the exceptions of the Cleganes because those two are just too violent.

[Gingin]

Perhaps Margaery could be a beauty pageant? Or a socialite? Or both?

[Is he a ham?]

I'm working on a more fleshed out version with more details and more characters. Marge could be a prom queen though I think she's too smart to be a simple model or beauty pageant.

[Gingin]

All the best in your work then!

Wyman Manderly could be a renowned cookbook writer and chef lol

[Is he a ham?]

Lord-Too-Fat-to-Ride-a-Bike?

[Is he a ham?]

7 minutes ago, Gingin said:

All the best in your work then!

Thanks! A little question: Should I post it here or should I make it a new thread? I'm new to the forum.

[Is he a ham?]

Updated version:

-Robert: Studied politics in University though he skipped most lesson. he lived on a sports scholarship and was one of the most well known football players back in the day. Somehow got elected mayor of town "Westeros" due to his charisma. Degraded physically and mentally overtime but manages to hold the town together thanks to his advisors. Likes to drink and talk about the "glory days". His T shirt is always covered in wine stains.

-Petyr: Robert's secretary and financial advisor. He's also planning on starting his own finance and accounting firm, Mockingbird. Everyone tells Robert that the guy is a bit shady but he never listens.

-Renly: Founder and CEO of a decently large fashion brand Rainbow Raiment, focusing on colorful clothing, partially funded by Robert. He's handsome, charismatic, and very popular in the town. Dresses fabulously with forest green suits, green jeans, golden belt clasps, and gilded sunglasses.

-Loras: Renly's well known soccer athlete husband. Dresses even more elaborately than Renly with multi-colored clothing and flowers in his hair. Has a massive following on Instagram, mainly consisting of young women.

-Margaery: Renly's sister in law and business partner. She's CEO of Highgarden inc., a finance and advertising company she inherited from her mother, Olenna. She's intelligent but also enjoys outdoor activities. Likes to wear simple short, green dresses with golden roses sowed on.

-Stannis: The town's tough as nails prosecutor. Known to be a man of justice with iron hard will. Respected but disliked by most people though his close friends know he has a great sense of humor. Mad at Robert for funding Renly's fashion brand more than him and his staff. Constantly argue with Robert over the legality of prostitution. Dresses plainly but professionally with a simple black suit. If you are guilty, he will prosecute you to the bitter end, and then some.

-Davos: Former minor drug dealer. He was a arrested and sentenced to a couple of years in prison by Stannis. After he got out, Stannis hired him as his advisor and secretary possibly due to a favor he owed Davos. He quickly became Stannis's right hand man, causing some jealousy from Stannis's other staffs. He dresses poorly with t-shirts and shorts, causing even more disdain from other staff members.

-Melisandre: Detective who often works with Stannis. She is incredible at her job and seems to have an almost supernatural "hunch". All of her civilian clothings are red, like, ALL of it.

-Axell: Stannis's uncle in law and worst staff member. He is spiteful and jealous of Davos. He is frankly incompetent at all but the simplest tasks and is only employed by Stannis because Selyse begged him to. Tries to dress properly but even that won't draw attention from his gigantic floppy ears.

-Salladhor Saan: Mob boss. Former boss and friend of Davos. Almost everyone suspects him but neither the cops nor Stannis could find enough evidence against him.

-Ned: Kind and just police captain and best friend of Robert. Loved and respected by most people in the town. When not wearing uniform, he dresses plainly like Robert, but without the wine stains.

-Bran: Was a curious child but was handicapped in an accident. Currently learning how to man and operate the town's surveillance cameras. Dresses plainly, just like his dad.

-Arya: Feisty, curious and adventurous. She is currently training to become a SWAT.

-Robb: Captain of a somewhat popular soccer team, named Grey Wind, and owner of a small but successful soccer club. He loves sport and usually train all day and even go to sleep in his sport attire.

-Greatjon: Coach of Robb's team as well as co-owner of his club. He was a respected athlete in his prime.

-Wyman: Accountant for Robb's football club. Very loyal. Nickname: Mr-Too-Fat-to-Ride-a-Boke.

-Edmure: Robb's other accountant as well as the guy in charge of managing the club when Robb's too busy. However, Robb never tells him what he plans to do next, causing alot of awkward situations.

-Catelyn: Enthusiastic soccer mom.

-Walder: Owns a shipping company which used to be a sponsor for Robb's team and club until a little "incident". He played a prank on Edmure's wedding and announced that he won't be supporting them anymore. Then, he even started his own team and club, which mostly consist of his sons, to rival Robb out of spite.

-Jon: Captain of a lesser known hockey team, named Black Crows. He once tried to quit and go into soccer but his friends and teammates convinced him to stay. He's nicknamed "Lord Crow" and almost always wear black. He's also one Stannis's few friends.

-Ghost: The goodest of boys.

-Jeor: Coach of Jon's team. Overall a quiet but pretty nice dude. When alone, he often broods about his disappointing son.

-Sam: Jon's personal financial adviser and best friend. He is also the writer of a fantasy novel series with a loyal fanbase. However, the long delay between books often cause said fanbase to start making weird theories on reddit.

-Ygritte: Member of the rival hockey team Free Folk and rumored to be dating Jon. When she's not training, she's a human rights and environmental activist.

-Tormund: Captain of the Free Folk. Overall nice, friendly guy, and a good friend of Jon despite their rivalry. Likes to wear fake fur clothing. Renowned for his unnaturally large hockey club.

-Mance: Coach of the Free Folk. A wise man but can be pretty chill if you know him. He's also a human rights activist. He's a bit of an old fashioned dude so all attempts to teach him how to use social media has failed.

-Theon: Abandoned by his family when he was little. Ned adopted him because he was a childhood friend of Robb. He was very cocky and egoistic until he was kidnapped and tortured by infamous serial killer, Ramsay Bolton. Somehow, he made an escape and told Ned about the location of Ramsay. He's making a slowly recovering and regaining his confidence.

-Tywin: Founder of a multinational business empire, Lann Corp, focusing on the excavation of precious materials with some branches in real estate. The corporate headquarters is located in town Westeros, which attracts workers and is beneficial for the town and Robert. However, Tywin is rumored to have made use of some shady PMCs. He is currently on a vacation and leaving his company in the hands of his daughter and heiress to see how well she could manage it. He always dress professionally in public with scarlet suits and golden necktie.

-Cersei: She is not managing the company very well. She has also replaced many competent staff members with bootlickers. She also refused a partnership with Highgarden Inc. out of paranoia. It is an open secret that she sleeps with many employees and Moonboy for all I know. She really likes emeralds and green clothing. She is in a dysfunctional marriage with mayor Robert.

-Jaime: Was a popular soccer athlete in highschool. Went against his father's wishes and joined the town's representitive soccer team. He became cocky due to his skills. However, everyone hates him because of an own goal incident that caused the team to lose a big match. That only made him more cocky and edgy until he got an injury. He is currently a humble soccer coach and inspirational speaker. Many people still hate him but those who know him admire him. He has a great sense of humor. Back when he was a cocky asshole, he liked to wear gold colored clothing with golden rings, chains,... but now he usually only wears a white suit or jacket.

-Brienne: Celebrity journalists. She is about to publish her journal and interview of Jaime.

-Pod: Brienne's quiet and timid assistant.

- Hyle: Brienne's rival who just can't beat her no matter what he does (Like Eddie and Peter in Spider Man 3)

-Tyrion: On the outside, he's a cool and funny club owner, and he's great at chess too. However, on the inside, he's a self loathing dude with serious depression and daddy issues. Instead of confronting his issues and going to a therapist, he decides to drown his sorrows with alcohol.

-Bronn: He used to be a mercenary working for some PMCs until he found a safer and more stable career as Tyrion's bouncer. Loves drinking, gambling, and kicking people out of the club.

-Joffrey: Spoiled rich blonde singer. Everyone knows he's an asshole and his voice sucks but puts up with it because he's rich and has influence. He likes to wear yellow hoodies with many golden chains, watches, rings and jewlery.

-Tommen: Joffrey's nicer little brother who's very humble despite all of his privilieges. He also owns a cat rescue center. His favorite song is "Up on the roof"

-Sandor: Suffers from intense PTHD due to childhood trauma from an abusive brother and negligent parents. Currently working for Blackwater Security and takes great pride in the fact that He's not a soldier like his brother.

-Gregor: Angry and violent even as a child. Had severe drug abuse issues growing up. Somehow managed to join the Marines.

-Oberyn: Famous hollywood actor. A bit of a carefree playboy. Loves to drink, play tennis, and have sex in his freetime. He once picked a fight with Gregor which didn't end very well. Oberyn has a preference for silk clothing.

-Roose: Experienced and well respected heart surgeon. He's cold and uncharismatic to most people but he really loves his wife. Weak pullout game though. When not wearing his uniform, he prefers to wear either grey or pink.

-Ramsay: An infamous serial killer. He fed his victims to his hounds and made their skin into capes. Ramsay was caught by Ned, prosecuted by Stannis, and sentenced to death.

-Hot Pie: Likeable and popular chef of a bakery restaurant.

-Shitmouth: Waiter of said bakery restaurant. If you ask politely, he'll give you some more for free.

-Varys: Talented hair stylist. He loves to gossip and seems to know everyone's secrets. Dresses in layers of clothing that seems uncomfortably hot.

-Asha: Rapper with many disstracks. Once dissed Lucas Codd into oblivion. She's actually quite nice to all of her close friends and fans.

-Aeron: Lifeguard. Used to be a carfree teenager until a near drowning accident. After that, he has dedicated his life to preventing something like that happening to someone else. He's a bit of a killjoy nowadays though.

-Thoros: A paramedic who does his job in order to help people. Advocates universal healthcare. Has a bit of an alcohol problem but some say he works better drunk than sober. ALL of his civilian clothing were red but they're faded and covered with wine stains.

-Beric: He was a popular, handsome and confident football athlete but he had an accident. Fortunately, the ambulance arrived and Thoros managed to save him. Beric is still continuing his athlete career but he's now humble and wise beyond his years. He also donates most of his earnings to charity and lives a modest life.

-Aerys: The old mayor. He got elected thanks to his looks, charisma, wealth, which came from his family's car company, Targ inc., and ambitions though people soon found out that he was vain and never bothered to execute his ambitions. In the last couple of years, people protested against him heavily. Aerys only managed to hold the town together thanks to Tywin though that only fueled his paranoia and jealousy. He had terrible hygiene and abused his wife. When Robert got elected, he moved away, never to be seen again.

-Rhaegar: Was the sexy, popular and talented heartthrob in highschool. He was running for mayor with the backing of Tywin though in the end, Robert's campaign crushed him and Tywin changed side. After that, he moved away to another town with Lyanna, his highschool sweetheart, (To the dismay of many people, sespecially Jon and Robert). He currently works as an accountant.

-Dany: Was a popular prom queen from the next town over, Essos. Currently studying politics. She is planning on moving over to town Westeros and run for mayor next year. She's also a human's right activist. Illyrio Mopatis, a family friend and old business partner with Targ inc. has given her three supercars as a gift, a black one, a green one, and a cream one.

-Drogo: Was a popular American football star from Dany's highschool until he got injured badly and left school. He was dating Dany for a while but they broke up since he left. The reason he got injured was because he said that wearing thick paddings is for cowards.

-Jorah: Jeor's dissapointing son. He once was MVP in an amateur soccer match which he said was due to the cheers of a girl he fancied. He soon married that girl but he was too poor to keep her happy so she left him. He tried soccer a few more time but it turns out he sucks now. His dad tried to convince him to do hockey but he refused. Now, he has moved to town Essos and keeps trying to stalk Dany because she looks somewhat like his ex.

-Reznak: One of the people working on Dany's political campaign. However, he's pretty much a useless bootlicker and is mainly leeching off Dany. He also uses way too much perfume.

-Skahaz: Dany's actually competent advisor and helper. He gets shit done, helps her advertise her future campaign on social media, sort out the logistics, and has no qualms with criticizing Dany when he sees fit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Is he a ham?]

Margaery could also secretly be a crazy cat lady.

[Nevets]

Ned - Regional administrator or government regulator.  Fits his sense of duty and honor.

Arya - Athlete, and captain of her team.  As adult, goes into politics or becomes military officer.  Definite leadership abilities.

Sansa - Marries rich up-and-comer and lives happily in the suburbs, raising a large, well-behaved family.

Samwell - Academic historian who writes best-selling books about historical figures.

Stannis - Prosecutor you don't want to angle with.  That or a super-tenacious investigator.

Renly - Fashion designer it is.  

Littlefinger - Financier who thinks rules are for other guys.  Slippery as an eel.

Tyrion - Colleague of Sam's, but in the political science department.  Drinks and screws around too much, but is careful not to do anything to jeopardize his job.

 

[The Map Guy]

Osha - Pipefitter

Let me make one thing perfectly clear! ... I think she is holding a pipe in her profile picture:
https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Osha

Even in GoT, she got one good swing at Robb with a pipe! lol

[Sea Dragon]

On November 6, 2019 at 12:26 AM, The Map Guy said:

Osha - Pipefitter

Let me make one thing perfectly clear! ... I think she is holding a pipe in her profile picture:
https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Osha

Even in GoT, she got one good swing at Robb with a pipe! lol

Thats a spear because she is part of the socially underdeveloped wildlings. 

[The Map Guy]

On 11/7/2019 at 2:53 PM, Sea Dragon said:

Thats a spear because she is part of the socially underdeveloped wildlings. 

Of course I know that is a picture of a spear and not a pipe, its just funny because it looks like a pipe.

Osha's spear = OSHA's pipe

Rickon sobbed and clung to Hodor's leg until OSHA gave him a smack with the butt end of her spear. Then he followed her quick enough. Shaggydog stalked after them. The last Bran saw of them was the direwolf's tail as it vanished behind the broken tower. {Bran VII ACOK}

This is secret message, but its perfectly clear to me! Silly George, I know what you are thinking here lol