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I want to write a novel - but I'm actually terrified (Mental illness problems)


Lady Winter Rose

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I live in small town, go regulary to the psyhologist and psychiatrist (long story, but that's the same doctor), I live in Europe in small state... and I want to write a novel.

I already published a short story in local magazine outside my local area. But I want to publish and write a novel and novels.

But I have mental illness and I got called lunatic multiple times during childhood, teenage age and adulthood. Yes, also recently. I'm actually afraid of criticism, because people around me knows about Goodreads and I'm afraid if my novel got on Goodreads I won't get but slack for it. Happend to local author of fantasy, and I want to write fantasy and historical fiction. I was also called mental institution on blog while I was in primary.

I always wanted to write fantasy, but besides small fandom, it wasn't well received here. Also, local authors get slack as bad writers, while people mostly read foreign authors. It's because publishers want state support and state doesn't care about literature or culture so state shares money they don't have like it's candy to wrong people and right people. So, I kind of plan to go local official publishing, while trying to push international. And I'm terrified if my small, but toxic community stands in the way.

 

I see something is lined read in text editor. I currently don't really care. As said, small EU country.

(In case it got merged, I opened a new thread)

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But how could I know what quality it is if I don't show it to somebody. 

Yes, I have considered username, but you can't really pretend to be foreign author. So it has to be home made name and I kind of stop thinking then. 

 

When I was I kid I got hooked to fantasy names I created for my novels. My obsession on names still carries on in different form. So that's another problem when creating aliases. 

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Readers can judge the quality when it is online and available. Not knowing you makes for a more honest appraisal. As for a pen name, pick a common name by throwing a dart at a phone book. 

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Publish your work online through ebooks? A way of getting it out there. Use twitter - seems to be a TON of writers on there with a nice community going. “#amwriting” and #writingcommunity” for a start which seem positive and supportive and encouraging and it might help you to have an online community of writers to connect to if you can’t where you live. 

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Name any historical literary giant who didn't have critics? 

You can't because they all did. Whether it was Mark Twain, Herman Melville, Edgar Alan Poe, Charles Dickens, Laura Engells Wilder or any other great writer they all had critics, sometimes savage, and as an earlier poster alluded, a great many of them were/are completely and hopelessly delusional.

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6 hours ago, DireWolfSpirit said:

Name any historical literary giant who didn't have critics? 

You can't because they all did. Whether it was Mark Twain, Herman Melville, Edgar Alan Poe, Charles Dickens, Laura Engells Wilder or any other great writer they all had critics, sometimes savage, and as an earlier poster alluded, a great many of them were/are completely and hopelessly delusional.

I'm not afraid of criticism, but insults.

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On 11/22/2019 at 2:00 PM, Lady Winter Rose said:

When I was I kid I got hooked to fantasy names I created for my novels. My obsession on names still carries on in different form. So that's another problem when creating aliases. 

I did the same.  I am obsessed with names as well.  One of the first things I notice about a book is the names and whether or not I like them.  If I don't like them the story is much harder to get into.  I can spend hours figuring out a name for a video game character.  I had to plan extra time whenever I made a WoW alt.  Names are important.  I do think a pen-name is a good idea, though.  I think every writer should have a pen-name.  

I always liked this worn out saying when thinking of critics.  'Those who can...do.  Those who can't...teach.  Those who can't teach...critique.' 

Anytime you put yourself out there the insults will come.  Too many people confuse being negative with being insightful.  Even that is beyond others who just need to insult others for whatever reasons.  Try and find some humor in it, maybe.  Like when you see famous people reading mean tweets about themselves and their work.  I don't know.  No way to avoid it, really.  Making a game of it might help a bit.  I am a compulsive list maker and I used to make top five lists about everything including attacks I received when people didn't like a screenplay I wrote.  Anything to pull the rug out.   

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You published a fantasy story in Croatian? I understand Croatian and would be interested to read it.

And as for the insults, you have to keep in mind that that's not the attitude of the majority, but just of those who are eager to throw insults.

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1 hour ago, Gronzag said:

You published a fantasy story in Croatian? I understand Croatian and would be interested to read it.

And as for the insults, you have to keep in mind that that's not the attitude of the majority, but just of those who are eager to throw insults.

It's not online :( I don't really know why.

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I get you, for there are few things so beautiful and so dangerous as showing your creative work to the public. Beautiful - because it's very rewarding; dangerous - because you'll feel like barring a piece of your soul in front of large amount of people, some of which are bound to hate it. And it sucks, but it's also inevitable. Some people who read your novel will be genuine critics who will simply be very harsh in their criticism. Some will be small-minded haters who revel in tearing down other people's work. Some will not even give your novel a fair chance, flat out shooting it down because of some personal or ideological reason. There's simply no way around it.

So screw them. If you want to write a fantasy novel - go ahead and write a fantasy novel :) . And no matter how it turns out - I applaud you: for trying (and hopefully succeeding) to write something cool. Something awesome. Something that will inspire the minds of your readers and broaden their horizons.

And also - best of luck writing it. Croatian fantasy literature is unfortunately such a niche scene: with so few writers engaging in it and local fantasy readers often being unaware of them. I'm excited at the prospect of a new creative mind joining their ranks.

ETA: what you can also do is to show your work to someone close to you - family member or a friend - whose literary opinion you appreciate and ask them for a feedback. That way, you'll be sure to receive either genuine praise or constructive criticism from someone whom you know wishes you well and wants you to succeed.

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20 hours ago, Lady Winter Rose said:

nameberry is most popular and one dedicated to names, there are others, but I don't believe they are as popular or devoted to names only, (Other than paid ones)

Yeah I have seen some sites like that.  I haven't returned to any of them regularly, though. 

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