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Poll Question: Have Fathers Failed Masculinity Extremely Badly or Mostly Badly?


Jace, Extat

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I think of all these young men out there. With no homes to call their own. These men live in apartments, living spaces unattached to the most masculine of all places. A garage.

The garage is the epitome of a gentleman's terrestrial desires. Part workshop, part storage space, there existed a time once when men looked upon their oil darkened floors and unfinished ceilings and called it a kingdom. A kingdom of man, impenetrable and sacred. Oh, a lady might dalliance in a garage. Perhaps to retrieve some sodas when her master entertains, or on very rare occasion be permitted to dance suggestively to the old stereo system that sits atop the big bags of fertilizer for the garden his bitch wife never got around to planting. But it is a place of work and focus, and no female creature can long exist in a true man's garage. Eventually she would depart and leave him to his efforts. Whether he was examining the intricacies of a car's starter or repairing little Janie's bike chain, a man could always find in his garage both work and the self-assurance of having completed work. A truly industrious and godly thing, is a garage.

And yet, something has grown to be missing from these refuges of maleness. There are no children. No boys to aid their father in his ministrations. To learn the simple pleasure of repetitive tinkering, the wholesome satisfaction of fixing what was broken. The boys are inside. With their Yugios and their Gamestations. The Devil's Toys. In apathy, sedentary and without ambition, these children of men wasted their born right to strength and manliness. The skills of efficiency and toughness melted away, and now we have men who say "Duck Tape." Not just say it, but spell it the whole way out.

Weep for our nation, fellows. Weep at our lost masculinity.

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2 hours ago, Jace, Basilissa said:

The skills of efficiency and toughness melted away, and now we have men who say "Duck Tape." Not just say it, but spell it the whole way out.

That's a hell of a slow burn Jace.  I'm pretty mad at you for getting me to read all that crap about garages though.

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I have a garage, with oil stains, and many colors of duct tape. I have a handsome son with thick eyebrows and barely-tamed aggression. The other day he asked me if we could get the family swords out of storage. And I'm liberal as fuck. Look upon my works, ye manly, and despair.

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13 hours ago, Jace, Basilissa said:

or on very rare occasion be permitted to dance suggestively to the old stereo system that sits atop the big bags of fertilizer for the garden his bitch wife never got around to planting. But it is a place of work and focus, and no female creature can long exist in a true man's garage.

Time to show off your new found belly dancing skills. Keep the duck tape on your mouth though.

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1 hour ago, Corvinus said:

Garages are meant to keep your cars in to protect them from outdoors elements. Everything else is secondary.

I'm really frustrated with my garage right now.  The builder made it about two feet too small to fit two cars comfortably, so I'm stuck parking my car on the street or else my wife can't get the baby into the back seat.  

Wasn't an obvious problem when we bought the place, as we only had one car at the time.  The upshot has been that half the garage is slowly turning into a workshop, but I'm loathe to give up the option of parking in it, so nothing I've put in is permanent.

I also realized the cheapskate builder only put one 120V circuit in for the garage, lights and all.

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1 hour ago, argonak said:

I'm really frustrated with my garage right now.  The builder made it about two feet too small to fit two cars comfortably, so I'm stuck parking my car on the street or else my wife can't get the baby into the back seat.  

Wasn't an obvious problem when we bought the place, as we only had one car at the time.  The upshot has been that half the garage is slowly turning into a workshop, but I'm loathe to give up the option of parking in it, so nothing I've put in is permanent.

I also realized the cheapskate builder only put one 120V circuit in for the garage, lights and all.

Solution seems simple to me. Sell the baby.

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Update: looks like he somehow escaped, tried to bust out the window, but couldn't fit through.  There are bloody footprints through the broken glass and it looks like he crawled into the duckwork in the attic.  I think he may have also stolen a handgun and a walkie-talkie I left unattended next to the sandpaper.

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5 hours ago, larrytheimp said:

Update: looks like he somehow escaped, tried to bust out the window, but couldn't fit through.  There are bloody footprints through the broken glass and it looks like he crawled into the duckwork in the attic.  I think he may have also stolen a handgun and a walkie-talkie I left unattended next to the sandpaper.

You can’t keep a good cult going, if you continue to allow prisoners to escape. 

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1 minute ago, Jen'ari said:

I have a garage, I feel conflicted though, as an all female household would the right thing to do be to donate it’s use to an under privileged man to restore his sense of worth.

Hmmmmm......

Can aforementioned underprivileged man set up a video game system in there?

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2 minutes ago, Jen'ari said:

I don’t see any reason why not, as long as he pays his own electricity.

Then go for it! 

 

But I think you should demand at least one other condition.

Said man must wipe up his own urine when it splashes on the toilet when he pees standing up (I do not know how this is not a thing. I'm always disgusted when I have to clean up other people's yellow spots off my toilet. Get it together other men. It's simple courtesy. Grab two pieces of toilet paper, fold them in half, and wipe around the rim)

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