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Craziest Theories

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So what are the craziest theories you've heard of.

One of my favorites is that Lysono Maar, spymaster for the Golden Company, is actually a descendant of Aerion Brightflame. GRRM has said that Aerion might have fathered some bastards in while exile in Lys. Plus it would be ironic. If Aerion was the one who killes Haegon Blackfyre after he surrendered as I suspect, then it would be funny if his descendant was aiding someone suspected of being a Blackfyre (which I also believe).

Another fun one is that Sweet Donnel Hill of the Night's Watch is actually Tywin's bastard. 

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I once read a theory stating that the Blackfish will conceive a child with Jeyne Westerling and pass him/her as Robb’s heir. Frankly, I find this quite disturbing.

Edited by Gingin

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5 minutes ago, redriver said:

A weirwood grove on Mars spontaneously ejected itself to the extent that it exited that planet's gravity intact, flew through outer space, was then crash landed on Planetos.

That’s excellent, innit. I had heard it before, but I didn’t remember the heart trees had come from Mars. :lol:

I really like any theories that claim Rhaego is alive. :eek:

Edited by kissdbyfire

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3 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said:

That’s excellent, innit. I had heard it before, but I didn’t remember the heart trees had come from Mars. :lol:

I really like any theories that claim Rhaego is alive. :eek:

I think you've just summoned Megorova back:o.

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The first thing that comes to my head is that Theon and Robb swapped places. Theon actually died at the Red Wedding, and Robb has been pretending to be him since, even doing what Theon would do to keep up the illusion. This is the real reason why Bran, Rickon and the company managed to escape, as Robb would never hurt them. Also why Osha swore to serve 'Theon': she was renewing her allegiance to Robb.

Theon, meanwhile. acted as Robb would, which is why he cried at the thought of Bran and Rickon 'dying'.

Spoiler

I didn't hear this one, I came up with it on my own. Is it still allowed in this thread or is there another thread better suited for this?

 

Edited by DR Supporter

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19 hours ago, redriver said:

A weirwood grove on Mars spontaneously ejected itself to the extent that it exited that planet's gravity intact, flew through outer space, was then crash landed on Planetos.

I just finished reading the Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn series, which George has cited as one of his major inspirations for ASOIAF.  The main castle is called the Hayholt and it was built around the White Tower (also called Green Angel Tower for the bronze statue atop it) which is described as a White Tree and "a tree-that-was-a tower, white among the stars" and a "great white tree whose leaves were flames" and "white tower lapped by flames." "a great, white tree that stretched into the air like a ladder to the Throne of God." "the lord of an ancient forest."

"the pale, looming finger of Green Angel Tower, silvered by moonlight.  Wrapped in silence and secrecy, it seemed a specter sent from another world, a bearer of strange tidings."

Below the White Tower is a vast system of tunnels built by the Sithi where the Witchwood Tree lives and it is an otherworldly magical tree that does not need sunlight (and the Sithi make swords out of it).  

When Simon is in the tunnels under the Hayholt he finds a naturally occurring well of Perdruinese Fire, an explosively flammable liquid, that is often found in caves. which is used to make something called a "fire-missile."  Simon lights the pool on fire on his way into the castle.

In the climax of the story, the Storm King has brought an unearthly winter, the sun goes dark at noon (accompanied by a ghostly phantom bell), the Red Comet has come back for the third time in year and it is blazing red in the sky.

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As he stood, shivering and moaning, the sky outside changed,  The broad smear of clouds vanished, and for a moment the full blackness of the sky opened before him, dotted with tiny, cold stars, as though Green Angel Tower had torn free of its moorings and now floated above the storm.

I really hoped the well of Perdruinese Fire under the castle had exploded and launched the White Tower into space--and I think George was just as disappointed as I was when it didn't--it was just a weird vision. 

Earlier in the story Simon goes on an expedition to arctic to the Uduntree (reference to Odin's Tree the worldtree Yggdrasil), a thousand-foot tall ice waterfall tree, also referred to as a White Tree, and one of the characters says "Here old black One-Eye climbed to the stars." Udun was an ancient sky god / Odin climbed to the stars on a White Tree. "the great ice-pillar seemed to extend through the very roof of the sky."  Interstellar white tree.

In MST, the Red Comet comes back every 500 years and it is the "herald of the death of empires" and it makes three appearances in a year (lending support to my theory that the Red Comet is not a natural phenomenon).  One thousand years ago the Red Comet dropped a chunk to Earth when the in-story version of Jesus (Usires) is being crucified on a tree, the meteor destroyed the temple where he was being crucified, and the meteor was made into a magical star-sword.

"The first Great Sword came, in its form original, from out of the Sky one thousand years agone."

The star-sword is called Thorn (dorn is german for thorn, and dorn is gaelic for fist)--the current owner of Thorn is Camaris (camaoir means "dawn" in gaelic).  Thorn is totally black (sometimes called "black Thorn") and described as being unearthly, alive, and having a will of its own--properties that it presumably shares with the Red Comet.  Thorn also drinks the light.  So a comet falls out of the sky and lands on god's sacred tree and a comet becomes a sword, and Thorn was forged by mixing the meteor with thorny branches that scourged the lord Usires.  Tree/comet/sword

If you play that in reverse order, a god (Odin or Osiris) is hung on a sacred tree, and a comet/sword that is named after a tree is launched out of a sacred-tree temple and into space.  Usires was said to have ascended to heaven at the moment the meteor hit.

 

Here's some fun word play: bole = tree trunk, boletus = fungus, and bolide = explosive meteor (and bolis is greek for "missile")  Look up artillery fungus--it can launch spores into the air at very high velocity.  And I think the weirwood is a huge planet-spanning fungus, and it spreads to other planets in this manner--and it generates Wildfire in the caverns below the weirwood circle to accomplish this--I think the subterranean sea under Bloodraven's cave is filled with Wildfire. (wildfire is stored in jars shaped like fruits, it is the fruit of the trees--and wildfire production went up suddenly when the Red Comet appeared)

My theory is that Three Forgings of Lightbringer are three comets, with final sword being much brighter and coinciding with the end of the Long Night--in MST, the third appearance of the comet is much brighter and coincides with the end of empires, and the end of the Storm Kings reign.

 

The White Tower was built by the Sithi (essentially CoTF) who are consistently described as being alien.

The Sithi traveled here in "Ships on a dark ocean, from somewhere far away" they "had sailed out of the rising sun, across unimaginable distances" when "most of the world had been covered in ocean."

There is a bunch of other alien space tree stuff.  The Sithi village in the Old Heart forest is called the "Boat on the Ocean of the Trees" (calling @ravenous reader )

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Stretched between treetop and ground, and from trunk to trunk and bough to bough, the billowing sheets of cloth in a thousand diverse colors resembled at first sight nothing so much as exquisite sails--indeed, for that first moment the entire valley seemed in truth a vast and incredible ship.

And Simon goes into a hollow tree in the Sithi village where the oldest Sithi lives and "From time to time the walls creaked, as though he and Jiriki stood in the hold of a ship, or inside the trunk of a tree far larger than any Simon had ever seen."

The Sithi are aliens, their village is a vast and incredible ship, the hollow tree is a ship, and they built the White Tower, (which should have been a ship)

 

There are two magical hills in the series that have standing stone circles on their crowns, and one is called the Stone of Farewell or the Leavetaking Stone

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A great hill rose from the valley floor before them.  Unlike its low, rounded neighbors, Sesuad'ra thrust up from the meadows like the head of a buried giant, bearded with trees, crowned with angular stones that stood along the ridgeline.  Beyond the spiky stones some shimmering whiteness lay along the hill's very peak.  An immense, upward-straining slab of weathered rock and clinging brush, Sesuad'ra loomed some five hundred cubits above the river.  The uneven sunlight washed across the hill in wavering bands, so that the entire mass almost seemed to turn and watch them as they rode slowly down the watercourse. . .

"That's no stone," Sangfugol repeated stubbornly, shaking his head

Geloe laughed harshly "It is all stone.  Sesuad'ra is a part of the very bones of the earth, thrust free of her body in the pain of the Days of Fire, but still reaching down into the very center of the world "

It is also called "a bony thrust of stone" and "a great fist"  The bones of a stone giant thrusting up and thrusting free of its body--and it is called the Stone of Farewell and the Leavetaking Stone--as in it thrust up so hard it took leave of the freaking Earth, it was a Stone that said Farewell.  "as though the entire hill of stone had just now been born, thrusting up from the primordial muck."

 

Miriamele has a prophetic dream about a huge stone fist erupting out of the ground:

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The wide, unbroken plain of grass above which the rose turned began to shudder. The sod buckled upward beneath the mighty bloom; gray stones appeared, tall and angular, pushing up through the earth like moles nosing toward sunlight. As they burst free, and as she saw for the first time that the long stones were joined at the bottom, she realized that what she saw was a huge hand pushing up from below the world’s surface. It lifted, grass and clotted dirt tumbling away; the stony fingers spread wide, encircling the rose. A moment later the hand closed and squeezed. The huge rose ceased turning, then slowly vanished in the crushing grip. A single wide petal scudded slowly from side to side as it floated to the ground. The rose was dead....

A Stone Fist erupts out of the ground.  The Weirwood island at the Crofter's Village is likened to a "stone fist", and the Fist of the First Men is reminiscent of an old weirwood circle.  I think the Fist of the First Men was a weapon.

Weirwood circles are launchpads, There are Weirwood circles on Seadragon point, Seadragon is the name of a missile system that can be launched from the sea, and an island-drowning meteor was the Grey King's seadragon Naga (LmL)

 

 

Back in book 1, Simon keeps having prophetic dreams about the White Tree:

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At the summit of the ponderous revolution, wind-ripped and bleeding, he saw a gleam in the darkness, a luminous stripe that reached from the impenetrable blackness above the equally murky depths below.  It was a white tree, whose broad trunk and thin branches glowed as though stuffed with stars.  He tried to pull himself free from the wheel's grip, to leap out toward the beckoning whiteness, but it seemed he was held fast.  With one great, final effort he tore loose and jumped.

He plunged downward through a universe of glowing leaves, as though he flew among the lamps of the stars; he cried out for blessed Usires to save him, fro God's help, but no hands caught him as he plummeted through the firmament.

It is a literal cosmic tree.  And Simon goes interstellar while dreaming of it.

More bonus cosmic white tree quotes:

"white trunk stretching up into the darkness, the impenetrable white tower, a great, looming pale stripe against the blackness"

"At the center of the four-cornered ring of flames now loomed a tall white tree, beautiful and unearthly. It was the thing that had haunted him so long. The white tree. The blazing tower."

"Green Angel Tower loomed overhead, thrusting out from the muddle of the Hayholt’s roofs like the trunk of a white tree, the lord of an ancient forest."

"At first it seemed a tower or a mountain—surely nothing so tall, so slender, so bleakly, flatly white could be anything alive. But as she approached it, she saw that what had seemed a vast cloud surrounding the central shaft, a diffuse milky paleness, was instead an incredible net of branches.  It was a tree that stood before her, a great, white tree that stretched so high that she could not see the top of it; it seemed tall enough to pierce the sky."

 

ETA:

If you had to deal with an immortal unkillable dark lord, strapping him to a rocket and shooting him into space would be a neat way to solve the problem.

Edited by By Odin's Beard

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19 hours ago, kissdbyfire said:

That’s excellent, innit. I had heard it before, but I didn’t remember the heart trees had come from Mars.

In Carl Sagan's Comet, he talks about the possibility of humans traveling across space in tree comets. (and the first chapter of the book is written from the perspective of a person riding a comet on its way to Earth)

There is a book called Comets, Popular Culture, and the Birth of Modern Cosmology. on page 94 discussing medieval astrology she says:

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So, what is the natural connection between comets and the demise of men?  Mars provided the link. . . Although medieval scholars did not see comets as halos, they thought that the planets, and Mars in particular, generated comets when in certain aspects and conjunctions. . . When Magnus, de Silteo, and Bacon surveyed the heavens for the planetary cause of comets in 1240 and 1264, they seized on Mars as the obvious first choiceComets were "of the character of Mars and so [were] from it as the prime mover. . ."

(In several different languages the word for Mars is Mart/Mairt/Martius, which is close to Martin.  Also check out the book Lucifer's Comet, where a Promethean god from Mars launches himself from planet to planet in an ice comet.)

And on pg 54 there is a drawing from 1618 of comet traveling through Virgo and Libra--(here's a version with the comet highlighted for clarity)--and it looks like it is coming out of her chest.  If this happened when Mars was in conjunction with the Moonmaid (Virgo), this would be the flaming red sword Lightbringer comet coming out of the Moonmaid/ Just Maid's chest.

 

She goes into great detail about Halley's beliefs about comets, chapter 8 is called "Halley's Comet Theory, Noah's Flood, and the End of the World"

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Halley noted the possibility that long ago a comet might have struck the earth, altered its axis and orbit, and caused the biblical Flood. . .

Halley believed that the bible was a jumbled account of real events from human history, that something like Noah's flood happened, but must have happened before Adam and Eve, 

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He suggested that this cometary impact more likely had happened before the Creation and had possibly reduced a former world into a Chaos out of whose ruins the present world was formed. . . 

"a collision of a great body such as a comet [against] the globe of the earth . . . before Adam, wherein possibly that Earth might have been reduced to a Chaos, after having been for many years together such as now it is."  Halley held fast to his belief in a succession of former worlds, each destroyed by comet impacts

But he argued this was all part of a cycle of rebirth and rejuvenation of the Earth (pg166)

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These catastrophic collisions . . were not without their salutary effects. . . .Like Newton, Halley suggests that the surface materials of the earth would, over time, become hard and stony, unfit for vegetation and animal life.  If a comet collided with the earth, these stony materials would be buried deep within the globe while a lighter, finer soil would settle on the surface. . . Although this collision would kill all inhabitants of the globe, it would be necessary to prepare the earth for future races and new creations.  Deadly in the short term, but healthful in the long run, comet collisions allowed for the succession of worlds.

Halley therefore used comets in accounts of the Flood, mass extinctions and the renewal of life, the origin of the present world, and its future end.

 

Another piece of evidence that the Song of Ice and Fire refers to the Red Comet, is a book called Fire and Ice: A History of Comets in Art. The book was a companion to an installation at the Smithsonian by the same name in the 80's for the lead up to Halley's Comet.  It is written by an art historian, so the research on the history of astronomy is not very good, but there are some good pictures.  The books frontispiece is John Martin's painting The Eve of the Deluge, which depicts a comet that is about to hit the ocean at the beginning of the Flood.

 

 

Edited by By Odin's Beard

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2 minutes ago, Platypus Rex said:

People think all my theories are crazy.  

Some are pretty out there actually. Which doesn’t mean anything, granted. But I was tempted to post here, “theories by x, y, z”, and you’d make the cut. :D

 

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15 minutes ago, DR Supporter said:

I also heard a theory that Robert Strong is made out of Mountain's body and Robb Stark's head. Poor puppy.

I read he’s the Mountain’s body + Bobby B’s head. :lmao:

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2 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said:

I read he’s the Mountain’s body + Bobby B’s head. :lmao:

I believe that the one I've read is more heart-wrenching and thus closer to the truth.

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37 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said:

Some are pretty out there actually. Which doesn’t mean anything, granted. But I was tempted to post here, “theories by x, y, z”, and you’d make the cut. :D

Don't hold back!  After all, it's not really for me to say.  I think my theories are sane :)

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Mance Rayder is Jon's father.

Mance Rayder is Rhaegar Targaryen. Or Arthur Dayne. (Why?? Seriously why?! What made people think so??)

Lyanna is alive.

Dany is Lyanna's daughter. And in some cases this theory goes with Mad King Aerys as the father of both Jon and Dany (who are supposedly twins) :shocked: The problem with this theory is that GRRM said that Jon and Dany were born 8 or 9 months apart.

GRRM offed Jon, even though Jon is one of the most important characters of the series. For the rest of the series Jon is going to stay in Ghost's body, while his own body is permanently dead (he won't be revived thru fire-kiss).

fAegon is really Rhaegar's and Elia's child, and he really was saved by Varys in a way that was described by him to Tyrion.

Rhaego is/was born dead.

The Three-Eyed Crow is Bloodraven. <- :rolleyes: Once upon a time people thought that the Earth is flat, and that it is held by three elephants that are standing on a back of a giant tortoise that is floating in space. Just because majority think that something is right, doesn't make that something to actually be right.

Edited by Megorova

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