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Craziest Theories


Lucia Targaryen

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Shipping. The crazy whack ideas that just because a character or two are your favorite or are the most beautifulest should bang and FORGET what GRRM has established in worldbuilding. There are precious few actual pairings GRRM is building on (with the conclusions TBD), and those are much more interesting.

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50 minutes ago, The Fattest Leech said:

Shipping. The crazy whack ideas that just because a character or two are your favorite or are the most beautifulest should bang and FORGET what GRRM has established in worldbuilding. There are precious few actual pairings GRRM is building on (with the conclusions TBD), and those are much more interesting.

Preach. And the forced arguments and selective text quotes that come w/ most of these ships are quite ludicrous. All these crazy ships are doomed, they’re all gonna sink straight to the bottom of the Narrow Sea! :D

 

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7 minutes ago, Lady Anna said:

Euron = Daario was the first one that came to mind......but clearly not the craziest theory lol

Holy smokes, forgot all of those... I was happy not remembering btw...

Daario is Euron, Mance is Rhaegar, the High Sparrow is Arthur Dayne (I think?), and on and on it goes. In a nutshell, no one is who we think they are, everyone is someone else. :lol:

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Ooh!  I remember one from a few years ago- that the septas tormenting Cersei (Unella, Moelle, and Scolera) were actually the Mormont women, operating undercover.  I don't remember if this theory also required Howland Reed = the High Sparrow or not. 

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All the savior theories get very cracky, manic, and quasi-religious, with people expecting a messiah for their pet cause. the Dany pregnancy theories are out there. The "who sets off the wildfire" theories jump through hoops to make sure Dany isnt responsible. Theories based on the wonderful healing power of fire to save the world are scary and manic. Burn victims say fuck off. 

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16 hours ago, kissdbyfire said:

Holy smokes, forgot all of those... I was happy not remembering btw...

Daario is Euron, Mance is Rhaegar, the High Sparrow is Arthur Dayne (I think?), and on and on it goes. In a nutshell, no one is who we think they are, everyone is someone else.

I think you're mixing-up Howland Reed is the High Sparrow with Arthur Dayne is Qhorin Halfhand. I have to admit that I believe both theories, though I'm not willing to bet drinks on either one. ;)

But the High Sparrow is Arthur Dayne? No way! He would be one badass little dude come to think of it. Ok, tell me more...

 

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3 minutes ago, three-eyed monkey said:

I think you're mixing-up Howland Reed is the High Sparrow with Arthur Dayne is Qhorin Halfhand.

Aaaahhhhh that’s it! But... but... what’s the point of having Arthur Dayne be Qhorin? A character everyone (in universe and readers) thought dead was in fact alive but is now also dead, so the whole point is... what? 

3 minutes ago, three-eyed monkey said:

I have to admit that I believe both theories, though I'm not willing to bet drinks on either one. ;)

Damn. This would have been even easier... but it’s ok, I want to keep some functioning liver cells. :D :cheers:

3 minutes ago, three-eyed monkey said:

But the High Sparrow is Arthur Dayne? No way! He would be one badass little dude come to think of it. Ok, tell me more...

 

Yeah, I mixed all of it. It’s hard to keep track of all the hidden/secret identities! 

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10 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said:

But... but... what’s the point of having Arthur Dayne be Qhorin? A character everyone (in universe and readers) thought dead was in fact alive but is now also dead, so the whole point is... what?

Well, it's complicated is the short answer.

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7 hours ago, kissdbyfire said:

Yeah, I mixed all of it. It’s hard to keep track of all the hidden/secret identities! 

True.  But people sometimes fall into the fallacy of thinking that since all the identity theories cannot be true, therefore none of them are true.

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/hold my drink

Crazy theories are kind of my thing. Here are a few favorites:

My craziest "hidden identity" theory is that Podrick Payne is Tysha's baby by Tywin, and for bonus crazy I'll tack on my theory that Pod is a girl brave-Danny-Flinting it.

My craziest rando theory is probably that the colossal, drowned statue with the upraised hand that the Shy Maid passes twice is the Shrouded Lord himself- when the Stone Men fall into the Rhoyne they stay on the bottom growing like pearls.

My craziest religious theory is that the Many-Faced God is simply the Moon of the Moonsingers and the Facelss Men take their name from its dark phase.

Not quite a theory but still crazy; I decided to try and guess at the names of some historic figures and decided that the Amethyst Empress was named Valerys; her younger twin brother (more bonus crazy!) was called Rhaellor before Bloodstone Emperor and before he was called R'hllor (does it nerver stop, the crazy!?); their child, before becoming Azor Ahai and the first dragonrider (or at least the first GEotD dragonrider) was named Garyen; and his dragon was called Rubilaxes.

Finally, my attempt to bumble my way towards a unified theory of magic:

/cheers

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