Why did Sansa dislike being Northern?

[Brandon Ice-Eyes]

Why did Sansa dislike being Northern?
 

In ASOIAF - mainly the the first book - it always felt as though Sansa hated being Northern and was trying to disassociate herself from The North and Northern Culture.

Why was this? She was Northern and had had a pretty good life leading up to the first book with a loving family and a respectable and caring father who would have been a good role model for her yet she couldn’t wait to get out of Winterfell and Northern Culture?

*please note this isn’t a post trying to rip into Sansa that you used always see plastered everywhere because of her being unpopular, this is a genuine and valid question that I have wondered about.

[Ser Leftwich]

The short version: the grass is always greener on the other side. Especially when you are young and rich. The pageantry and parties that Sansa thinks of from stories are better than the drab reality of life in the North. Early on it happens that the whole royal entourage shows up and Sansa learns she will be headed to a place that is literally and figuratively greener.

Since we have so few child characters, it is rare for people to not get the reality of the world: Bran doesn't want to do as he is told, just climb around the castle, not go to his lessons. Arya want to be a tom-boy (I am sure there is a better (less sexist/gendered) word for this, I just can't think of one) and not learn embroidery.

Brienne and Theon are good examples, in that they have some idea, but the specifics get away from them, for them: it is not all fun and games in war, they learn how awful things are and just how much worse it can get. Children and the naive all have escapism, it just comes in different forms.

[Putin]

Sansa is young , innocent , naive summer child. 

She is fascinated with tales , songs of honorable knights , love , princes  . . . She likes bards , tourneys, dances all those stuffs that don´t happen often in North which is kinda isolated from other kingdoms , bards rarely visit and Ned is not Robert who likes organising many tourneys with all those knights in shiny armour.

Sansa likes idea of living at court in capital ,thinking all of those await her in kings landing with love of her life Joffrey .

Sadly Sansa didn´t have Sandor at Winterfell to teach her how real world works and how awful it is , nothing  that resembles to all those tales and songs.

[Lollygag]

Notice how popular the Disney princess thing is with so many rl little girls? Sansa is the Westerosi equivalent. Like so many including myself at that age, she likes bright colors, sparkles, songs, dancing, romantic stories, parties, etc. Just a take a walk down any girls' toy isle in the store.

A lot of these little girls grow up to find out there's often not much substance behind it all (or worse) and they develop a new appreciation for what they used to reject. Sansa is doing the same.

[Lyanna<3Rhaegar]

Yeah, what @Ser LeftwichLeftwich said. Fwiw I don't think she disliked being northern she just wanted to hear the singers, attend the parties etc. If those things were offered to her while in the North she would be fine with being northern. My point being that I don't think she had anything against the place, itself or the culture but rather the entertainment it lacked, if that makes sense? 

[Trigger Warning]

It probably has less to do with being Northern and more to do with a lack of noble pageantry in Ned's court. 

[Ser Leftwich]

3 hours ago, Ser Leftwich said:

The short version: the grass is always greener on the other side. Especially when you are young and rich. The pageantry and parties that Sansa thinks of from stories are better than the drab reality of life in the North. Early on it happens that the whole royal entourage shows up and Sansa learns she will be headed to a place that is literally and figuratively greener.

Since we have so few child characters, it is rare for people to not get the reality of the world: Bran doesn't want to do as he is told, just climb around the castle, not go to his lessons. Arya want to be a tom-boy (I am sure there is a better (less sexist/gendered) word for this, I just can't think of one) and not learn embroidery.

Brienne and Theon are good examples, in that they have some idea, but the specifics get away from them, for them: it is not all fun and games in war, they learn how awful things are and just how much worse it can get. Children and the naive all have escapism, it just comes in different forms.

How I forgot Dany in this list, I don't know. She immediately at the start of the books is in an unpleasant metaphorical 'trial by fire' (the way Viserys and Drogo treat her) only to end up triumphing in a literal 'trial by fire' at the end of the first book.

 

[TedBear]

5 hours ago, Ser Leftwich said:

the grass is always greener on the other side

This. 

North: people with a common appearance, a not very rich life, the cold, people living their tedious lives.

South: Exceptionally beautiful people, royal balls, beautiful and bright cities, knights and princes, even people's urine is pink.

 

 

[James Fenimore Cooper XXII]

The North is not the kind of place that a materialistic, status seeking, spoiled girl like Sansa would dream about.  She wants the big city.  The north only has one city.  It's a bleak place. 

[Ser Leftwich]

6 hours ago, •Brandon Ice Eyes said:

 

*please note this isn’t a post trying to rip into Sansa that you used always see plastered everywhere because of her being unpopular, this is a genuine and valid question that I have wondered about.

 

 

9 minutes ago, James Fenimore Cooper XXII said:

The North is not the kind of place that a materialistic, status seeking, spoiled girl like Sansa would dream about.  She wants the big city.  The north only has one city.  It's a bleak place. 

So this is immature and something exactly the the OP asked not to do.

(This is deliberately trying to derail this thread. Reporting.)

[James Fenimore Cooper XXII]

16 minutes ago, Ser Leftwich said:

 

So this is immature and something exactly the the OP asked not to do.

(This is deliberately trying to derail this thread. Reporting.)

It is an accurate assessment of Sansa.  Just because you don't like the answer given does not mean it crossed the lines of what is acceptable in the forum.  The OP does not make the forum rules.  Kindly grow up.  Just because you don't like an answer does not mean there is anything inappropriate about it. 

[Moiraine Sedai]

51 minutes ago, Ser Leftwich said:

 

So this is immature and something exactly the the OP asked not to do.

(This is deliberately trying to derail this thread. Reporting.)

No offense to you, leftwich, but Brandon asked for an opinion. James gave a reasonable answer. I read and found nothing inappropriate about James reply.. Calling someone immature because you disagree is being thin skinned, in my opinion.  My advice, let people have their opinions. Asking the admin to take action against somebody because you don't like what they have to say is extreme. 

 

[Darth Sidious]

2 hours ago, TedBear said:

North: people with a common appearance, a not very rich life, the cold, people living their tedious lives.

South: Exceptionally beautiful people, royal balls, beautiful and bright cities, knights and princes, even people's urine is pink.

 

6 hours ago, Trigger Warning said:

It probably has less to do with being Northern and more to do with a lack of noble pageantry in Ned's court. 

 

1 hour ago, James Fenimore Cooper XXII said:

The North is not the kind of place that a materialistic, status seeking, spoiled girl like Sansa would dream about.  She wants the big city.  The north only has one city.  It's a bleak place. 

All of the above.  She is closer to Catelyn, a woman of the south.  Arya is closer to Ygritte in character.

[King17]

Because her parents failed to teach her about the real world.

[The hairy bear]

It should be stressed that arguably Sansa's two main role models (her mother and septa Mordane) were Southrons. And of course, Sansa herself was half Southron too.

And it should also be taken into account that Sansa's likely future would involve marrying some Southern lord. So grooming her to crave for the life of a Southern court would be part of her education.

[Lyanna<3Rhaegar]

2 hours ago, The hairy bear said:

It should be stressed that arguably Sansa's two main role models (her mother and septa Mordane) were Southrons. And of course, Sansa herself was half Southron too.

And it should also be taken into account that Sansa's likely future would involve marrying some Southern lord. So grooming her to crave for the life of a Southern court would be part of her education.

This is a great point!

[frenin]

9 hours ago, King17 said:

Because her parents failed to teach her about the real world.

I mean with 11 years old... there is no much world to understand about, let her have a childhood before that.

As @Lyanna<3Rhaegar has said, i don't really think she disliked being northern and she def not says or implies that, but she was in love of a life style that wasn't northern and she was raised to a style of life that was not northern.

[Mystical]

5 hours ago, The hairy bear said:

It should be stressed that arguably Sansa's two main role models (her mother and septa Mordane) were Southrons. And of course, Sansa herself was half Southron too.

And it should also be taken into account that Sansa's likely future would involve marrying some Southern lord. So grooming her to crave for the life of a Southern court would be part of her education.

This is absolutely how I see it too. It's not so much the direct influence of Catelyn (she didn't seem to interact with her children much other than Bran even before the events of the books). It's entirely because of the brainwashing of the Septa. Successfully groomed child Sansa would absolutely think the North is drab what with all the songs and stories from the South.

I often wonder how Sansa would have turned out if Ned had vetoed bringing in a Septa. It's a nice thing to build Cat a Sept for her prayers. But why raise their daughters in a southern way? Unless it was decided early on both girls would be married off later to someone in the South, there was no need to raise them both this way. If Arya was meant to be married off to a Northerner why make her participate in the 'southern educational system' anyway?

IMO it was detrimental to both Sansa and Sansa's and Arya's relationship because Mordane was such an effing failure as a teacher (you don't compare students to each other or make someone sow with their non-dominant hand and then tell them they suck) and person (what with being a major alcoholic).

[The Commentator]

7 hours ago, The hairy bear said:

It should be stressed that arguably Sansa's two main role models (her mother and septa Mordane) were Southrons. And of course, Sansa herself was half Southron too.

And it should also be taken into account that Sansa's likely future would involve marrying some Southern lord. So grooming her to crave for the life of a Southern court would be part of her education.

True.   She’s also soft and crave the sweet , easy life. Hence the north is not attractive to her.

[Elegant Woes]

Sansa never hated being a Northener and Stark. In fact she takes great pride in it. That's apparent in her third AGOT chapter:

Quote

Alyn carried the Stark banner. When she saw him rein in beside Lord Beric to exchange words, it made Sansa feel ever so proud. - 

Hardly the words of a girl who despises her Northern roots. The reason why she's eager to leave is because a) she's a girl and will eventually be married of to a southern Lord anyway. b) her hobbies and interests are more compatible with South than the North. c) youthful restlessness. She's young and doesn't want to be cooped up in one place forever. She wants to travel and have an adventure.

Quote

She loved King's Landing; the pagaentry of the court, the high lords and ladies in their velvets and silks and gemstones, the great city with all its people. The tournament had been the most magical time of her whole life, and there was so much she had not seen yet, harvest feasts and masked balls and mummers shows. - AGOT, Sansa III.

Just because Sansa's idea of an adventure may not conventional to the average fantasy reader doesn't make it any less meaningful. All in all these are valid points that shouldn't diminish Sansa's connection to the North and her family.