Do You Think Most Men are Gay or Bi?

[Jen'ari]

13 hours ago, BlackLightning said:

What if I asked "Do You Think Most Women are Gay or Bi?"

Would that change anything?

As a lesbian woman I’d be inclined to say,no,not really.

I can’t honestly answer wether most men are gay or bi either.

I have straight and gay friends of both genders and what I would say is, from my own experiences and from hearing of others, I think it’s something that men aren’t as likely to be honest about as women, they have experienced far more negativity and hostility from their peers for identifying as gay/bi than myself or other women I know have which will skew people being honest about their sexuality.

 Generally women don’t seem to make as much of a big deal about someone’s sexuality as some men do, but no not all are open to having a gay experience either by any means as a crush I had on a straight girl at uni would attest to .

[Erik of Hazelfield]

I think this might be one of those situations when you apply your own bias to everyone, believing it to be the norm. Those who have sometimes fantisized about gay sex or perhaps even tried it think almost everyone does it and those who haven't think it's very rare. Both are probably wrong.

[AverageGuy]

On 4/17/2020 at 4:08 PM, sologdin said:

i'd like someone to identify, at the very least, an allele locus as the foundation for a biologistic argument

Pretty sure one was put forward on this forum eight or nine years ago, a study that found the sisters of gay men were more likely to have large families. The conclusion being that there was a genetic component making someone more inclined toward sex with men. I don't think an allele locus was actually determined, though.

[Kalbear]

11 hours ago, Erik of Hazelfield said:

I think this might be one of those situations when you apply your own bias to everyone, believing it to be the norm. Those who have sometimes fantisized about gay sex or perhaps even tried it think almost everyone does it and those who haven't think it's very rare. Both are probably wrong.

That's reasonable, though we have data suggesting that it's far more prevalent to fantasize about non-heteronormative sex than what people publicly surveyed say, and what people even privately surveyed say. And again, we also have mammalian studies that indicate more sexual fluidity in preference, which at least indicates that it isn't particularly uncommon or specific to human cultural values. 

[Ser Scot A Ellison]

On 4/17/2020 at 12:42 PM, BlackLightning said:

What do you think? I'm not asking for a friend, I'm asking for me... lol

Here's a little background: Someone I know made a very ridiculous comment but it made me really sit back and think about it

 

This is my first time ever being in the General Chatter section of the forum.

I think most absolute statements tend to be inaccurate.  And yes, I see the irony.

[Ser Scot A Ellison]

On 4/17/2020 at 1:49 PM, BlackLightning said:

Yes and no. No and yes. But ultimately, not really but still kinda.

Idk

Good point.

When people say they are gay, I'm beginning to wonder if they really are gay. Because gay to me means all the way homosexual and homoromantic.

Bi is really iffy because bi could mean homosexual/heteromantic, bisexual/biromantic, heterosexual/homoromantic, bisexual/heteroromantic, bisexual/homoromantic, etc.

Idk. I'm just curious.

This is the first time, I recall, seeing a differentiation between sexual attraction and romantic attraction.  And again, I think suggesting everyone is X is generally going to be wrong.

[Ser Scot A Ellison]

On 4/17/2020 at 3:42 PM, BlackLightning said:

What if I asked "Do You Think Most Women are Gay or Bi?"

Would that change anything?

No.

[Ormond]

Just found this thread --

As someone who teaches an undergraduate class in Human Sexuality, I don't think the majority of men (or women) are gay. I understand that sexuality is a continuum, but I think most people fall enough to one side or the other that "bisexual" isn't a good description of them. 

There are also a lot of people who are overwhelmingly attracted to one gender but who are nevertheless willing to have sexual contact with someone of the gender they are not attracted to if they are all that's available. A man being willing to have sexual contact with another man when there are no women around is not the same thing as being gay, or even bi.

"Fluidity" is itself a continuum. Some people are more fluid than others, and the research on this shows that women average out more "fluid" than men. This is not just in terms of sexual or romantic orientation but in terms of all sorts of sexual interests and behaviors. Environmental factors seem to have a bigger effect on the average woman's sexuality than the average man's. Having one's parents divorce when one is young, as just one example, is much more predictive of starting sexual intercourse earlier for teenage girls than teenage boys. And middle-aged women are much more likely to report that exactly what activities they like to do during sex have changed since they were younger than middle-aged men are. But again, these are averages and there are certainly a few very "fluid" men out there.