Lizard Queen Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 (edited) On 4/4/2021 at 11:44 AM, dog-days said: I hope things are going a bit better at the moment, LizardQueen. [more venting] Hide contents It was a beautiful day here; yesterday I went for my first proper cycle ride of the year - maybe twenty miles or so along the local canal. I was starting to get my anxiety under control, was eating healthily, and was feeling for the first time in quite a while a tiny bit optimistic about the future. Anyway, idiot that I am, I managed to make a mess of a potentially really good day by eating a piece of hot toast too fast and giving myself a blood blister. That sounds ridiculously trivial, and it is, but at the same time it's pretty unpleasant and alarming if you live alone, you haven't had one before and don't know what it is. I noticed that there was a bump on the left side of my palate, and couldn't work out what it was. It started to get more swollen, and I, being me, began to panic and wonder if I was having some sort of severe allergic reaction to something, and was trying to make emergency plans to deal with that - how long would I have? When should I call 999? I went and sat down for a while because my breathing was getting out of control, but after a few minutes made it downstairs and looked in the bathroom mirror - I found that the entire top of my mouth was covered in blood. Everything tasted of iron, my mouth still felt swollen, and though I washed out my mouth with water several times, more blood kept coming. Anyway, some careful Googling informed me that what I had was most likely a blood blister. Checks every few minutes reassured me that the blood was clotting. After practising mandolin for a while, I went for a two hour walk. I was shaky to start with, but by the end my breathing was mostly back to normal. I still feel weak and headachy, most likely as a result of the panic earlier. I went to the doctor a few weeks ago with swollen lymph nodes; she gave me a blood test which didn't show anything, so she just told me to keep an eye on them and get back in touch if they get any bigger. So, anyway, March was health anxiety central for me; I was just starting to relax and get a grip, when this stupid accident comes along and sets me back. BTW, does anyone know how to hide text without using spoiler tags? I've tried using [hide]artichokes[/hide] but it's not getting me anywhere. Thank you for your well-wish :). (I didn't realize you'd sent it, so now I've responded "late") Sounds like you're doing good work on anxiety and it's been better lately for it . Hopefully a health scare that turned out to be an non-serious wound can help you feel more optimistic if you go through any sort of similar incident in the future? -------------------------------- Probably going to be seeing a somewhat recent ex-friend when I start going out more again here soon. I always get these weird, unpleasant awkward feelings when I see people I used to have some kind of emotionally involved relationship with that ended badly/sadly. I'm sure the feelings will fade sometime though. I thought some coffee I drank made me feel a little anxious earlier and I think it may have (not good for my belly problems, but I thought I was within acceptable amount... Guess I used too many grounds). I previously went through changes like the ones I have coming up a few years ago, but I was actually very excited about them then. Now I'm not excited about the same impending changes, but instead I've been feeling sad and worried. Some of the changes I went through those years ago I suppose didn't have all happy ends, so I guess I'm not as optimistic? Plus, I think this pandemic that's been going on for over a year is just not the most uplifting, so it may be that I'm not as inclined to optimism as I'd normally be. Edited April 16, 2021 by Lizard Queen dog-days 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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