Tyrion in aCoK versus….

[TheLastWolf]

…

 

There were certainly many who highlighted Cersei’s mad humor. @Sigella did the best job IMO. R-o-R-L, and others were great too. But is mad humor, power hungry crazy stuff best in Cersei’s POVs from Feast … or GRRM’s favorite acerbic dwarf, The Imp Tyrion Lannister from ACOK? Let’s find out then!

BTW, This isn’t ‘this thread’ vs ‘that’, but Cersei vs Tyrion from AFFC and ACOK respectively. And there are cameos from Bronn, Littlefinger and such to spice it up. I’ve posted all I could find. You could save the effort post only your favorites, crème de la crème. Apart from what ive missed of course.

Here we go…with small excerpts

Spoiler

In the chilly white raiment of the Kingsguard, Ser Mandon Moore looked like a corpse in a shroud. "Her Grace left orders, the council in session is not to be disturbed."  "I would be only a small disturbance, ser." 

 

"Fascinating," said Littlefinger. "And all the more reason I'd sooner bed down in the dungeon."  Perhaps you'll get that wish, Tyrion thought, but he said, "Courage and folly are cousins, or so I've heard. Whatever curse may linger over the Tower of the Hand, I pray I'm small enough to escape its notice."

 

Please," he told them, "do let me be of service, in whatever small way I can."

Cersei read the letter again. "How many men have you brought with you?"

 

His sister seemed shocked that he would touch her. "You have always been cunning."

"In my own small way." He grinned.

 

 And then...

Spoiler

“I am sorry for your loss as well, Joffrey,” the dwarf said.

“What loss?”

“Your royal father? A large fierce man with a black beard; you’ll recall him if you try. He was king before you.”

 “Oh, him. Yes, it was very sad, a boar killed him.”  “Is that what ‘they’ say, Your Grace?”

 

As to you, Tyrion, you could better serve us on the field of battle."

He laughed. "No, I'm done with fields of battle, thank you. I sit a chair better than a horse, and I'd sooner hold a wine goblet than a battle-axe. All that about the thunder of the drums, sunlight flashing on armor, magnificent destriers snorting and prancing? Well, the drums gave me headaches, the sunlight flashing on my armor cooked me up like a harvest day goose, and those magnificent destriers shit everywhere. Not that I am complaining. Compared to the hospitality I enjoyed in the Vale of Arryn, drums, horseshit, and fly bites are my favorite things." Littlefinger laughed. "Well said, Lannister. A man after my own heart."

 

"You!" his sister Cersei said in a tone that was equal parts disbelief and distaste.

"I can see where Joffrey learned his courtesies." 

 

"The girl was wet with love. She would have done anything for Joffrey, until he cut off her father's head and called it mercy. That put an end to that."

"His Grace has a unique way of winning the hearts of his subjects," Tyrion said with a crooked smile.

One of the best...

Spoiler

"I'm sure I don't know. That fool Eddard Stark accused me of the same thing. He hinted that Lord Arryn suspected or . . . well, believed . . ."

"That you were fucking our sweet Jaime?"

She slapped him.

"Did you think I was as blind as Father?" Tyrion rubbed his cheek. "Who you lie with is no matter to me . . . although it doesn't seem quite just that you should open your legs for one brother and not the other."

She slapped him.

"Be gentle, Cersei, I'm only jesting with you. If truth be told, I'd sooner have a nice whore. I never understood what Jaime saw in you, apart from his own reflection."

She slapped him.

His cheeks were red and burning, yet he smiled. "If you keep doing that, I may get angry."

Truly, sister, you were born to be a widow." Tyrion had rather liked Robert Baratheon, great blustering oaf that he was . . . doubtless in part because his sister loathed him so. "Now, if you are done slapping me, I will be off." He twisted his legs around and clambered down awkwardly from the chair.

 

Of Timett son of Timett there was no sign. "Where's our red hand?" Tyrion asked.

"He felt an urge to explore. His kind was not made for waiting about in halls."

"I hope he doesn't kill anyone important." 

  Slynt, Jacelyn and power play

Spoiler

"I gave the command, and I'd give it again. Lord Stark was a traitor." The bald spot in the middle of Slynt's head was beet-red, and his cloth-of-gold cape had slithered off his shoulders onto the floor. "The man tried to buy me."
"Little dreaming that you had already been sold."

Slynt slammed down his wine cup. "Are you drunk? If you think I will sit here and have my honor questioned . . ."

"What honor is that? I do admit, you made a better bargain than Ser Jacelyn. A lordship and a castle for a spear thrust in the back, and you didn't even need to thrust the spear.

 

"Still. He (Joff) is the king." Slynt's jowls quivered when he frowned. "The Lord of the Seven Kingdoms."

"Well, one or two of them, at least," Tyrion said with a sour smile. "Might I have a look at your spear?"

 

"Lord Slynt," Tyrion called out, "I believe you know Ser Jacelyn Bywater, our new Commander of the City Watch."

"We have a litter waiting for you, my lord," Ser Jacelyn told Slynt. "The docks are dark and distant, and the streets are not safe by night. Men."

As the gold cloaks ushered out their onetime commander, Tyrion called Ser Jacelyn to his side and handed him a roll of parchment. "It's a long voyage, and Lord Slynt will want for company. See that these six join him on the Summer's Dream."

Bywater glanced over the names and smiled. "As you will."

"There's one," Tyrion said quietly. "Deem. Tell the captain it would not be taken amiss if that one should happen to be swept overboard before they reach Eastwatch."

"I'm told those northern waters are very stormy, my lord."

 Itsy bitsy Spider....

Spoiler

 Tyrion smiled. "Lord Varys, I am growing strangely fond of you. I may kill you yet, but I think I'd feel sad about it."

"I will take that as high praise."

 

 yet I'm still a man. Shae is not the first to grace my bed, and one day I may take a wife and sire a son. If the gods are good, he'll look like his uncle and think like his father.

 

Tyrion had the City Watch now, plus a hundred-and-a-half fierce clansmen and a growing force of sellswords recruited by Bronn. He would seem well protected. Doubtless Eddard Stark thought the same.

 

Insolence

Quote

"Well enough. Three new men tonight.""How do you know which ones to hire?""I look them over. I question them, to learn where they've fought and how well they lie." Bronn smiled. "And then I give them a chance to kill me, while I do the same for them.""Have you killed any?""No one we could have used.""And if one of them kills you?""He'll be one you'll want to hire."

Tyrion was a little drunk, and very tired. "Tell me, Bronn. If I told you to kill a babe . . . an infant girl, say, still at her mother's breast . . . would you do it? Without question?""Without question? No." The sellsword rubbed thumb and forefinger together. "I'd ask how much."And why would I ever need your Allar Deem, Lord Slynt? Tyrion thought. I have a hundred of my own. 

 Stannis horned

Spoiler

"Maester Frenken received the first missive at Castle Stokeworth," Grand Maester Pycelle explained. "The second copy came through Lord Gyles."  Littlefinger fingered his beard. "If Stannis bothered with them, it's past certain every other lord in the Seven Kingdoms saw a copy as well."

"I want these letters burned, every one," Cersei declared. "No hint of this must reach my son's ears, or my father's."

"I imagine Father's heard rather more than a hint by now," Tyrion said dryly. "Doubtless Stannis sent a bird to Casterly Rock, and another to Harrenhal. As for burning the letters, to what point? The song is sung, the wine is spilled, the wench is pregnant. And this is not as dire as it seems, in truth."

Cersei turned on him in green-eyed fury. "Are you utterly witless? Did you read what he says? The boy Joffrey, he calls him. And he dares to accuse me of incest, adultery, and treason!"

Only because you're guilty. It was astonishing to see how angry Cersei could wax over accusations she knew perfectly well to be true. If we lose the war, she ought to take up mummery, she has a gift for it. Tyrion waited until she was done and said, "Stannis must have some pretext to justify his rebellion. What did you expect him to write? 'Joffrey is my brother's trueborn son and heir, but I mean to take his throne for all that'?"

"I will not suffer to be called a whore!"  Why, sister, he never claims Jaime paid you

 

Grand Maester Pycelle gaped at him, aghast. "Surely you do not mean to suggest that Lady Selyse would bring a fool into her bed?" "You'd have to be a fool to want to bed Selyse Florent," said Littlefinger. "Doubtless Patchface reminded her of Stannis. And the best lies contain within them nuggets of truth,

"I like my tale better," said Littlefinger, "and so will the smallfolk. Most of them believe that if a woman eats rabbit while pregnant, her child will be born with long floppy ears."Cersei smiled the sort of smile she customarily reserved for Jaime. "Lord Petyr, you are a wicked creature."

"The story should not come from us," Tyrion said, "or it will be seen for a self-serving lie." Which it is, to be sure.Once more Littlefinger supplied the answer. "Whores love to gossip, and as it happens I own a brothel or three. And no doubt Varys can plant seeds in the alehouses and pot-shops."

"The Spider spins his secret webs day and night," Grand Maester Pycelle said ominously. "I mistrust that one, my lords.""And he speaks so kindly of you."

 

 Lol

Spoiler

Bronn was waiting outside the council chambers to escort him back to the Tower of the Hand. "The smiths are in your audience chamber, waiting your pleasure," he said as they crossed the ward."Waiting my pleasure. I like the ring of that, Bronn. You almost sound a proper courtier. Next you'll be kneeling."

"Fuck you, dwarf."

"That's Shae's task."

 

And this is Bronn. Perchance you recall Ser Vardis Egen, who was captain of Lord Arryn’s household guard?” “I know the man.” Ser Mandon’s eyes were pale grey, oddly flat and lifeless. “Knew,” Bronn corrected with a thin smile.

 

 Her Grace said those as didn't meet their numbers would have their hands crushed," the anxious smith persisted. "Smashed on their own anvils, she said." Sweet Cersei, always striving to make the smallfolk love us. "No one will have their hands smashed. You have my word on it."

Lannister crimson. I would suggest a demon's head for a helm, crowned with tall golden horns. When you ride into battle, men will shrink away in fear."

A demon's head, Tyrion thought ruefully, now what does that say of me? "Master Salloreon, I plan to fight the rest of my battles from this chair. It's links I need, not demon horns. So let me put it to you this way. You will make chains, or you will wear them. The choice is yours." He rose, and took his leave with nary a backward glance.

 

 Chataya's

Spoiler

"A brothel," Bronn said. "What do you mean to do here?"

"What does one usually do in a brothel?"

 

"I am Chataya," she announced, bowing deeply. "And you are—"

"Let us not get into the habit of names. Names are dangerous." The air smelled of some exotic spice, and the floor beneath his feet displayed a mosaic of two women entwined in love. "You have a pleasant establishment."

"I have labored long to make it so. I am glad the Hand is pleased." Her voice was flowing amber, liquid with the accents of the distant Summer Isles."Titles can be as dangerous as names," Tyrion warned

 

"The gods made our bodies as well as our souls, is it not so? They give us voices, so we might worship them with song. They give us hands, so we might build them temples. And they give us desire, so we might mate and worship them in that way."

"Remind me to tell the High Septon," said Tyrion. "If I could pray with my cock, I'd be much more religious."

 

 "Lord Varys," he said from the saddle, "sometimes I feel as though you are the best friend I have in King's Landing, and sometimes I feel you are my worst enemy."

"How odd. I think quite the same of you."

 

Courted

Spoiler

He groaned. "Lady Tanda?"

"Her page. She invites you to sup with her again. There's to be a haunch of venison, she says, a brace of stuffed geese sauced with mulberries, and—"

"—her daughter," Tyrion finished sourly.

"No taste for stuffed goose?" Bronn grinned evilly.

"Perhaps you should eat the goose and marry the maid. Or better still, send Shagga."

"Shagga's more like to eat the maid and marry the goose," observed Bronn. "Anyway, Lollys outweighs him."

 

There's a moneylender from Braavos, holding fancy papers and the like, requests to see the king about payment on some loan."

"As if Joff could count past twenty. Send the man to Littlefinger, he'll find a way to put him off. Next?"

"A lordling down from the Trident, says your father's men burned his keep, raped his wife, and killed all his peasants."

"I believe they call that war.

 

One peddler was hawking rats roasted on a skewer. "Fresh rats," he cried loudly, "fresh rats." Doubtless fresh rats were to be preferred to old stale rotten rats. The frightening thing was, the rats looked more appetizing than most of what the butchers were selling.

 

"A black brother down from the Wall. The steward says he brought some rotted hand in a jar."

Tyrion smiled wanly. "I'm surprised no one ate it. I suppose I ought to see him. It's not Yoren, perchance?"

"No. Some knight. Thorne."

"Ser Alliser Thorne?" …."Come to think on it, I don't believe I care to see Ser Alliser just now. Find him a snug cell where no one has changed the rushes in a year, and let his hand rot a little more."

 

"They want protection. Last night a baker was roasted in his own oven. The mob claimed he charged too much for bread."

"Did he?"

"He's not apt to deny it."

"They didn't eat him, did they?"

"Not that I've heard."

"Next time they will," Tyrion said grimly. "I give them what protection I can. The gold cloaks—"

"They claim there were gold cloaks in the mob,

The game

Spoiler

“And when do you plan to free Jaime? He’s worth a hundred of you.” Tyrion grinned crookedly. “Don’t tell Lady Stark, I beg you. We don’t have a hundred of me to trade.”

 

Podrick Payne stood at the door of his solar, studying the floor. “He’s inside,” he announced to Tyrion’s belt buckle. “Your solar. My lord. Sorry.”

 Tyrion sighed. “Look at me, Pod. It unnerves me when you talk to my codpiece, especially when I’m not wearing one. Who is inside my solar?”

 “Lord Littlefinger.” Podrick managed a quick look at his face, then hastily dropped his eyes. “I meant, Lord Petyr. Lord Baelish. The master of coin.”

 “You make him sound a crowd.”

The boy hunched down as if struck, making Tyrion feel absurdly guilty.

 “The king is fighting hares with a crossbow,” he said. “The hares are winning. Come see.” Littlefinger turned away. “Boy, are you fond of potted hare?” he asked Podrick Payne. Pod stared at the visitor’s boots, lovely things of red-dyed leather ornamented with black scrollwork. “To eat, my lord?” “Invest in pots,” Littlefinger advised. “Hares will soon overrun the castle. We’ll be eating hare thrice a day.” “Better than rats on a skewer,”

. A shout rang up from the yard. “Ah, His Grace has killed a hare,” Lord Baelish observed. “No doubt a slow one,”

 

Only three nights past, another mob had gathered at the gates of the Red Keep, chanting for food. Joff had unleashed a storm of arrows against them, slaying four, and then shouted down that they had his leave to eat their dead. Winning us still more friends.

 

The boy does not want too much. Only half the realm, the release of our captives, hostages, his father’s sword . . . oh, yes, and his sisters.

 

What was it that Moon Boy had said of him the other day? A pious man who worships the Seven so fervently that he eats a meal for each of them whenever he sits to table.

 

“This is the Prince of Dorne we are speaking of. If I’d offered less, he’d likely spit in my face.”

“Too much!” Cersei insisted, whirling back. “What would you have offered him, that hole between your legs?” Tyrion said, his own anger flaring.

 

“Making war.” “From behind the walls of Harrenhal?” she said scornfully. “A curious way of fighting. It looks suspiciously like hiding.” “Look again.” “What else would you call it? Father sits in one castle, and Robb Stark sits in another, and no one does anything.”

“There is sitting and there is sitting,” Tyrion suggested. “Each one waits for the other to move, but the lion is still, poised, his tail twitching, while the fawn is frozen by fear, bowels turned to jelly. No matter which way he bounds, the lion will have him, and he knows it.” “And you’re quite certain that Father is the lion?” Tyrion grinned. “It’s on all our banners.”

 Oh Lancel

Spoiler

“Oh, unhand your sword. One cry from me and Shagga will burst in and kill you. With an axe, not a wineskin.”

Lancel reddened; was he such a fool as to believe his part in Robert’s death had gone unnoted? “I am a knight—”

“So I’ve noted. Tell me—did Cersei have you knighted before or after she took you into her bed?”

 The flicker in Lancel’s green eyes was all the admission Tyrion needed. So Varys told it true. Well, no one can ever claim that my sister does not love her family. “What, nothing to say? No more warnings for me, ser?” “You will withdraw these filthy accusations or—” “Please. Have you given any thought to what Joffrey will do when I tell him you murdered his father to bed his mother?” “It was not like that!” Lancel protested, horrified.

“No? What was it like, pray?” “The queen gave me the strongwine! Your own father Lord Tywin, when I was named the king’s squire, he told me to obey her in everything.” “Did he tell you to fuck her too?” Look at him. Not quite so tall, his features not so fine, and his hair is sand instead of spun gold, yet still . . . even a poor copy of Jaime is sweeter than an empty bed, I suppose. “No, I thought not.” “I never meant . . . I only did as I was bid, I . . .” “. . . hated every instant of it, is that what you would have me believe? A high place at court, knighthood, my sister’s legs opening for you at night, oh, yes, it must have been terrible for you.” Tyrion pushed himself to his feet. “Wait here. His Grace will want to hear this.” The defiance went from Lancel all at once. The young knight fell to his knees a frightened boy. “Mercy, my lord, I beg you.” “Save it for Joffrey. He likes a good beg.”

…“One last thing. With King Robert dead, it would be most embarrassing should his grieving widow suddenly grow great with child.” “My lord, I . . . we . . . the queen has commanded me not to . . .” His ears had turned Lannister crimson. “I spill my seed on her belly, my lord.” “A lovely belly, I have no doubt. Moisten it as often as you wish . . . but see that your dew falls nowhere else. I want no more nephews, is that clear?”

….The only question would be whether Jaime cut him down in a jealous rage, or Cersei murdered him first to keep Jaime from finding out. Tyrion’s silver was on Cersei.

Spoiler

Untitled

…He found Podrick Payne asleep in a chair outside the door of the solar, and shook him by the shoulder. “Summon Bronn, and then run down to the stables and have two horses saddled.” The squire’s eyes were cloudy with sleep. “Horses.” “Those big brown animals that love apples, I’m sure you’ve seen them. Four legs and a tail. But Bronn first.” The sellsword was not long in appearing. “Who pissed in your soup?” he demanded. “Cersei, as ever. You’d think I’d be used to the taste by now, but never mind. My gentle sister seems to have mistaken me for Ned Stark.” “I hear he was taller.” “Not after Joff took off his head. You ought to have dressed more warmly, the night is chill.” “Are we going somewhere?” “Are all sellswords as clever as you?”

The last time he ventured out, a man had spit on him . . . well, had tried to. Instead he’d spit on Bronn, and in future would do his spitting without teeth.

 

“She has the blood of a wolf.”

 “And you have the wits of a goose.”

“You can’t talk to me that way. The king can do as he likes.”

 “Aerys Targaryen did as he liked. Has your mother ever told you what happened to him?” Ser Boros Blount harrumphed. “No man threatens His Grace in the presence of the Kingsguard.”

 Tyrion Lannister raised an eyebrow. “I am not threatening the king, ser, I am educating my nephew. Bronn, Timett, the next time Ser Boros opens his mouth, kill him.” The dwarf smiled. “Now that was a threat, ser. See the difference?” Ser Boros turned a dark shade of red. “The queen will hear of this!”

 “No doubt she will. And why wait? Joffrey, shall we send for your mother?” The king flushed. “Nothing to say, Your Grace?” his uncle went on. “Good. Learn to use your ears more and your mouth less, or your reign will be shorter than I am. Wanton brutality is no way to win your people’s love . . . or your queen’s.”

“Fear is better than love, Mother says.” Joffrey pointed at Sansa. “She fears me.” The Imp sighed. “Yes, I see. A pity Stannis and Renly aren’t twelveyear-old girls as well. Bronn, Timett, bring her.”

 

Cersei regarded him suspiciously. “If you are here about those begging brothers, Tyrion, spare me your reproaches. I won’t have them spreading their filthy treasons in the streets. They can preach to each other in the dungeons.” “And count themselves lucky that they have such a gentle queen,” added Lancel. “I would have had their tongues out.”

. My brother’s harmless when he’s alone. If he’d brought his pets, we’d smell them.” The young knight gave his cousin a baleful glance and pulled the door shut forcefully behind him. “I’ll have you know I make Shagga bathe once a fortnight,” Tyrion said when he was gone.

Stannis and Renly are fighting each other?” When he nodded, Cersei began to chuckle. “Gods be good,” she gasped, “I’m starting to believe that Robert was the clever one.”

When Robert gave the place to Renly, Stannis clenched his jaw so tight I thought his teeth would shatter.” “He took it as a slight.” “It was meant as a slight,” Cersei said.

“To Stannis!” he said as he handed her the wine. Harmless when I’m alone, am I? “To Renly!” she replied, laughing. “May they battle long and hard, and the Others take them both!” Is this the Cersei that Jaime sees? When she smiled, you saw how beautiful she was, truly. I loved a maid as fair as summer, with sunlight in her hair. He almost felt sorry for poisoning her. It was the next morning as he broke his fast that her messenger arrived. The queen was indisposed and would not be able to leave her chambers. Not able to leave her privy, more like. Tyrion made the proper sympathetic noises

 Pycelle

Spoiler

” She cringed away from Shagga, flushed and fearful, trying to cover her charms with her hands and coming up a hand short

“A Stone Crow’s axe is always sharp, and Shagga’s axes are sharpest of all. Once I cut off a man’s head, but he did not know it until he tried to brush his hair. Then it fell off.” “Is that why you never brush yours?” The Stone Crows roared and stamped their feet, Shagga hooting loudest of all..

…it was Varys, there are things I might tell you of that eunuch that would chill your blood . . .” “My lady prefers my blood hot.” “Make no mistake, for every secret the eunuch whispers in your ear, he holds seven back. And Littlefinger, that one . . .” “I know all about Lord Petyr. He’s almost as untrustworthy as you. Shagga, cut off his manhood and feed it to the goats.” Shagga hefted the huge double-bladed axe. “There are no goats, Halfman.” “Make do.” Roaring, Shagga leapt forward.

 

and that Margaery is said to be lovely . . . and beddable besides.” “Yes,” said Tyrion, “Joff ought to like that well enough.” “My son is too young to care about such things.” “You think so?” asked Tyrion. “He’s thirteen, Cersei. The same age at which I married.” “You shamed us all with that sorry episode. Joffrey is made of finer stuff.” “So fine that he had Ser Boros rip off Sansa’s gown.” “He was angry with the girl.” “He was angry with that cook’s boy who spilled the soup last night as well, but he didn’t strip him naked.” “This was not a matter of some spilled soup—” No, it was a matter of some pretty teats.

 

“Friends,” said Varys, “quarreling will not serve us. I beg you both, take heart.” “Whose?” asked Tyrion sourly. He could think of several tempting choices.

 Battle of the Blackwater

Spoiler

If you die stupidly, I’m going to feed your body to the goats,” Tyrion threatened as the first load of Stone Crows pushed off from the quay. Shagga laughed. “The Halfman has no goats.” “I’ll get some just for you.

“Someone should tell them that Stannis changed his sigil. Then they can be the Hot Hearts.” It was no matter for jests, though; it appeared that these Antler Men had armed several hundred followers, to seize the Old Gate once battle was joined, and admit the enemy to the city. Among the names on the list was the master armorer Salloreon. “I suppose this means I won’t be getting that terrifying helm with the demon horns,” Tyrion complained as he scrawled the order for the man’s arrest.

“Jaime would lead the sorties himself.” “From Riverrun? That’s quite a sortie.” “Joff’s only a boy.” “A boy who wants to be part of this battle, and for once he’s showing some sense. I don’t intend to put him in the thick of the fighting, but he needs to be seen. Men fight more fiercely for a king who shares their peril than one who hides behind his mother’s skirts.” “He’s thirteen, Tyrion.” “Remember Jaime at thirteen? If you want the boy to be his father’s son, let him play the part.

“Someone bring me a drink.” A gold cloak officer handed him a cup. Clegane took a swallow, spit it out, flung the cup away. “Water? Fuck your water. Bring me wine.”

“They say I’m half a man,” he said. “What does that make the lot of you?” That shamed them well enough.. If I fight, they must do the same, or they are less than dwarfs.

“You won’t hear me shout out Joffrey’s name,” he told them. “You won’t hear me yell for Casterly Rock either. This is your city Stannis means to sack, and that’s your gate he’s bringing down. So come with me and kill the son of a bitch!” Tyrion unsheathed his axe, wheeled the stallion around, and trotted toward the sally port. He thought they were following, but never dared to look

“Name,” Tyrion breathed up at him. “Name.” The maester blinked. “Why, you are Tyrion Lannister, my lord. Brother to the queen. Do you remember the battle? Sometimes with head wounds—” “Your name.” His throat was raw, and his tongue had forgotten how to shape the words. “I am Maester Ballabar.” “Ballabar,” Tyrion repeated. “Bring me. Looking glass.”

 Well?

[Angel Eyes]

Question about Cersei: so she's Queen Regent in AGOT and ACOK. She technically outranks Tyrion and is (in)effectively ruling until Joffrey comes of age. Did she conveniently forget that she could, in theory, undo a lot of Joffrey and Tyrion's actions if she so chose? It doesn't occur for her to make Tyrion powerless until he loses his nose.

[The Commentator]

31 minutes ago, Angel Eyes said:

Question about Cersei: so she's Queen Regent in AGOT and ACOK. She technically outranks Tyrion and is (in)effectively ruling until Joffrey comes of age. Did she conveniently forget that she could, in theory, undo a lot of Joffrey and Tyrion's actions if she so chose? It doesn't occur for her to make Tyrion powerless until he loses his nose.

Plot convenience.  Plus Tywin supported Tyrion's authority.

[BlackLightning]

40 minutes ago, Angel Eyes said:

Question about Cersei: so she's Queen Regent in AGOT and ACOK. She technically outranks Tyrion and is (in)effectively ruling until Joffrey comes of age. Did she conveniently forget that she could, in theory, undo a lot of Joffrey and Tyrion's actions if she so chose? It doesn't occur for her to make Tyrion powerless until he loses his nose.

Yes, she should be able to undo or overrule Joffrey and Tyrion's actions.

The problem here is that:

1. Cersei is an inept ruler
2. Cersei was always getting outsmarted and outmaneuvered by Tyrion...up until he lost his nose
3. Tyrion has the support of Tywin. So, for Cersei to OPENLY defy and challenge Tyrion is to openly defy and challenge her father. Who, I might add, is currently fighting a war she started so that her ass can be saved.

Cersei knows how to scheme and undermine in order to seize power. She doesn't know what to do with power when she gets it. So, she loses it. And no, outmaneuvering Ned Stark is no feat because she barely pulled that off.

[CamiloRP]

1 hour ago, BlackLightning said:

Cersei was always getting outsmarted and outmaneuvered by Tyrion...up until he lost his nose

New theory: Tyrion's nose is what made him both smart and good

[Bronn Urgandy]

Eh, I just don’t find Tyrion in the books that funny. It probably doesn’t help that other characters are written as laughing uproariously whenever he makes jokes, but most of them just fall flat to me. I laugh much harder at Cersie in Feast, Stannis all the time, Robert was funny, Renly too had his moments, Tormund is hilarious as is Dolorous Edd, Victarian Greyjoy has one line that makes me laugh harder than anything Tyrion has said (there is the window, leap!), Jorah Mormont, Olenna Tyrell is a powerhouse and Marge can go too on occasion, Asha Greyjoy is funny, a lot of the lesser known common characters can have their moments, I mean the list goes on. But Tyrion, no, Tyrion is not particularly funny and falls quite low on the list of comedic characters, in fact he’s the least funny of the Lannister siblings

 

Peter Dinklage’s Tyrion from the first four seasons of the show, now that guy was funny

[TheLastWolf]

When the wine was poured, Lord Gyles rose to lift a cup to the king, and Ser Balon Swann was heard to remark, 'We'll need three cups for that.' Many laughed . . ."

Tyrion raised a hand. "Enough. Ser Balon made a jest. I am not interested in treasonous table talk, Lord Varys."

"You are as wise as you are gentle, my lord."

Contrast this with 

Cersei regarded him suspiciously. "If you are here about those begging brothers, Tyrion, spare me your reproaches. I won't have them spreading their filthy treasons in the streets. They can preach to each other in the dungeons."

"And count themselves lucky that they have such a gentle queen," added Lancel. "I would have had their tongues out."

Or even this... 

No, Your Grace. At the end a dragon hatches from an egg and devours all of the lions."

The ending took the puppet show from simple insolence to treason. "Witless fools. Only cretins would hazard their heads upon a wooden dragon." She considered a moment. "Send some of your whisperers to these shows and make note of who attends. If any of them should be men of note, I would know their names."

What will be done with them, if I may be so bold?"

"Any men of substance shall be fined. Half their worth should be sufficient to teach them a sharp lesson and refill our coffers, without quite ruining them. Those too poor to pay can lose an eye, for watching treason. For the puppeteers, the axe."

She gives the women to Qyburn for experiments IIRC. So cruel for petty plays. Hope you recall the play. 

[Universal Sword Donor]

Am I missing the general point of this thread?

[TheLastWolf]

On 11/10/2020 at 8:24 PM, Universal Sword Donor said:

Am I missing the general point of this thread?

Excuse the late reply 

The point was to compare how the (allegedly) Lannister siblings play the game. Of thrones. How good they are at ruling. And how sarcastic, acerbic, humorous (madly in Cersei's case), power hungry etc they were. Et cetera. 

[SerDuncan]

On 11/10/2020 at 8:09 PM, TheLastWolf said:

When the wine was poured, Lord Gyles rose to lift a cup to the king, and Ser Balon Swann was heard to remark, 'We'll need three cups for that.' Many laughed . . ."

Tyrion raised a hand. "Enough. Ser Balon made a jest. I am not interested in treasonous table talk, Lord Varys."

"You are as wise as you are gentle, my lord."

Contrast this with 

Cersei regarded him suspiciously. "If you are here about those begging brothers, Tyrion, spare me your reproaches. I won't have them spreading their filthy treasons in the streets. They can preach to each other in the dungeons."

"And count themselves lucky that they have such a gentle queen," added Lancel. "I would have had their tongues out."

Or even this... 

No, Your Grace. At the end a dragon hatches from an egg and devours all of the lions."

The ending took the puppet show from simple insolence to treason. "Witless fools. Only cretins would hazard their heads upon a wooden dragon." She considered a moment. "Send some of your whisperers to these shows and make note of who attends. If any of them should be men of note, I would know their names."

What will be done with them, if I may be so bold?"

"Any men of substance shall be fined. Half their worth should be sufficient to teach them a sharp lesson and refill our coffers, without quite ruining them. Those too poor to pay can lose an eye, for watching treason. For the puppeteers, the axe."

She gives the women to Qyburn for experiments IIRC. So cruel for petty plays. Hope you recall the play. 

Cersei's a psychopath. What's the doubt? 

On 11/17/2020 at 9:51 PM, TheLastWolf said:

Excuse the late reply 

The point was to compare how the (allegedly) Lannister siblings play the game. Of thrones. How good they are at ruling. And how sarcastic, acerbic, humorous (madly in Cersei's case), power hungry etc they were. Et cetera. 

If it had to be comparison of their ruling, Tyrion's the clear winner. Like Petyr Baelish, I'm surprised she lasted this long. But he wanted her to screw up a few months later, unlike me who's eagerly waiting for the next books. 

Comparison of their dark, acerbic humor is difficult. Tie. Draw. 

Tyrion enjoys the power 

Quote

This is no dream," he promised her. It is real, all of it, he thought, the wars, the intrigues, the great bloody game, and me in the center of it . . . me, the dwarf, the monster, the one they scorned and laughed at, but now I hold it all, the power, the city, the girl. This was what I was made for, and gods forgive me, but I do love it . . .

And her. And her.

But Cersei is demented, power hungry, powers crazy narcissistic megalomaniac 

[TheLastWolf]

1 hour ago, Thor Stark said:

If it had to be comparison of their ruling, Tyrion's the clear winner.

Sample

Spoiler

This 

 

[SerDuncan]

On 12/29/2020 at 11:33 AM, TheLastWolf said:

Sample

  Hide contents

This 

 

The Janos Jaclyn episode is minor compared to how he saved the stinking ungrateful city 

[Ewan McGregor]

55 minutes ago, Thor Stark said:

the stinking ungrateful city 

The city is just clamouring for their rightful ruler.  After the Sack they are never going to accept Lannister or Baratheon rule.  They want the return of the Targaryens.

[SerDuncan]

3 hours ago, Ewan McGregor said:

The city is just clamouring for their rightful ruler.  After the Sack they are never going to accept Lannister or Baratheon rule.  They want the return of the Targaryens.

Oh please leave me out of your war! I'm as neutral as Swiss cheese! 

[TheLastWolf]

13 minutes ago, Thor Stark said:

Oh please leave me out of your war! I'm as neutral as Swiss cheese! 

Lucky you! 

4 hours ago, Thor Stark said:

The Janos Jaclyn episode is minor compared to how he saved the stinking ungrateful city 

3 hours ago, Ewan McGregor said:

The city is just clamouring for their rightful ruler.  After the Sack they are never going to accept Lannister or Baratheon rule.  They want the return of the Targaryens.

 

... Sheev

[Jaenara Belarys]

On 11/6/2020 at 9:52 AM, CamiloRP said:

New theory: Tyrion's nose is what made him both smart and good

With Nose:

1. Appointed acting Hand of the King

2. Feeds the city, or tries to feed the city, much better than Cersei did

3. Effectively implements a training regime for wildfire

4. Builds the chain, thus trapping the fleet of Stannis and allowing it to be destroyed

5. Poisons Cersei and gets her out of the way for a bit

6. Gets Lancel to spy for him

7. Manages to push back enemy assaults

Without Nose: 

1. Denied Casterly Rock

2. Gets dung thrown at him

3. Has to cook an annoying, blackmailing singer

4. Is framed for Purple Wedding

5. Is imprisoned

6. Kills Lord Tywin

7. Becomes the drunkest drunkard in the history of Westeros

8. Is kidnapped by Ser Jorah because he lacked self control and vomits on the carpet

9. Gets whipped after being sold into slavery, because he can't keep his mouth shut

It appears you are correct, @CamiloRP.

[TheLastWolf]

On 4/23/2021 at 9:33 PM, Jaenara Belarys said:

With Nose:

1. Appointed acting Hand of the King

2. Feeds the city, or tries to feed the city, much better than Cersei did

3. Effectively implements a training regime for wildfire

4. Builds the chain, thus trapping the fleet of Stannis and allowing it to be destroyed

5. Poisons Cersei and gets her out of the way for a bit

6. Gets Lancel to spy for him

7. Manages to push back enemy assaults

Without Nose: 

1. Denied Casterly Rock

2. Gets dung thrown at him

3. Has to cook an annoying, blackmailing singer

4. Is framed for Purple Wedding

5. Is imprisoned

6. Kills Lord Tywin

7. Becomes the drunkest drunkard in the history of Westeros

8. Is kidnapped by Ser Jorah because he lacked self control and vomits on the carpet

9. Gets whipped after being sold into slavery, because he can't keep his mouth shut

It appears you are correct, @CamiloRP.

Add his eventual death 

Spoiler

Would GRRM kill off his fav? 

 

[Mystical]

On 11/6/2020 at 5:27 PM, BlackLightning said:

And no, outmaneuvering Ned Stark is no feat because she barely pulled that off.

Don't you knock Cersei and her smarts. She knew a random boar would randomly appear and off Robert so that she wouldn't have to think of a way to do it herself. She knew Ned would be an utter moron and confess his entire plan to her. She also knew without a doubt that every power player in KL would be 100% behind her.

[Jaenara Belarys]

12 hours ago, TheLastWolf said:

Add his eventual death 

 

He better not die.