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Small Unworthy Things, Starting with Blue Monday


Fragile Bird

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30 minutes ago, Fragile Bird said:

I am so sorry, Ty, but I’m glad you went to see him and spoke to him. Maybe he heard your words and took comfort in them. I hope so. Maybe he heard your voice and in his dreams was transported to a time when things were better, happier. You will remember your visit for as long as you live.

Part of my decision process came from speaking with one of his nurses. Given he suffered a severe head injury (and boy did it show), I asked how much did she think he could understand? In her opinion it was a lot, even if he was barely responsive. He didn't deserve, but I couldn't let the last words he'd possibly hear from be a complete damnation of his life and our relationship. 

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I know the traditional words are “May his memory be a blessing”. I hope there are memories that are a blessing. 

Excluding lavish trips as a kid which aren't actually positive memories of him, but of the vacations themselves, there is one, just one. 

:grouphug:

ETA: I take that back. He did also teach me how to gamble at a high level and how to use casinos to wash money. Came in handy for a couple years when I was young and dumb.

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On 2/24/2021 at 12:41 PM, Tywin et al. said:

And then I did the only thing I could do to finally have a sense of closure, I forgave him, then said goodbye and left. And I'm at peace for the first time in ages.

Reading this is so powerful to me.  I was with my father when he died, and there were 3 of my sibs there too.  
 

One of the most profound experiences of my life. 
Because of that experience it always means a lot to me when I hear of others similar experiences. 
 

I really mean this;  Thank you for sharing something so personal and important.

 

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While there are few nicer things than scouring around a bookshop (especially in person, especially if it’s a second hand book shop), buying books is expensive. So next time you feel you want to buy a book, go on a treasure hunt on your own bookshelf. 
I spent 5 minutes looking through my bookshelf and the things you find! So many of the back row books I didn’t even remember having. So many of them I haven’t even finished reading! And there was one book that I have in a book depository wishlist! All the while it’s sitting on my shelf! And I just remembered how much I hated it! Good thing I never ordered another copy of it! 

Yes, look through your bookshelf. It’s a beautiful experience! Remember the story of each book. The experiences you had “together”. 

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It's both so funny and weird going through all these old photos my dad left for me. I feel bad that I've forgot who some of these people are. 

Also I guess I own a legit Picasso painting now. It's really not that impressive to me. And I literally have no idea who the other artists were that she mentioned, so at some point I'm going to have to research this a bit.

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I’ve lost half a stone in 4 weeks and that’s my goal for the next few months. But I’m not holding myself to it. By the end of the way I’d like to have lost 2 stone which is realistic I think.  I’m eating a lot better, exercising a lot more and am generally getting much fitter and actually doing really well just need the motivation to keep going which I think I might finally have. Everything else in my life, bar fucking covid and the ADHD mess it’s made me, is going well so I feel a lot more in control this time. But I also don’t because of covid so I’m falling apart at the seams a bit as well. Such fun!!! But anyway the fitness thing is good I think. 

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9 hours ago, RhaenysBee said:

While there are few nicer things than scouring around a bookshop (especially in person, especially if it’s a second hand book shop), buying books is expensive. So next time you feel you want to buy a book, go on a treasure hunt on your own bookshelf. 
I spent 5 minutes looking through my bookshelf and the things you find! So many of the back row books I didn’t even remember having. So many of them I haven’t even finished reading! And there was one book that I have in a book depository wishlist! All the while it’s sitting on my shelf! And I just remembered how much I hated it! Good thing I never ordered another copy of it! 

Yes, look through your bookshelf. It’s a beautiful experience! Remember the story of each book. The experiences you had “together”. 

Great advice! I used to have a hard time getting rid of books - any books. But that eventually became unsustainable and after several purges I’m down to a pretty manageable collection though I still probably have a couple hundred (?) physical books in my house. Now when I buy books I either buy a ratty used paperback that I will get rid of in turn when I’m finished, or I will buy a hardcover or nice edition that I want to keep forever. Some of my favs that made the cut for keeping but that aren’t a nice edition I sometimes will replace with the same book if I find a better edition. 

With that said, I’m attempting a self imposed ban on buying books. Having moved recently I had cause to look over what I have again, and of course, there is a decent amount in there that I haven’t read so I am currently trying to restrain myself from any book purchases until I have read through some of the dust collectors I have. And if I absolutely must read something I don’t currently have - I have acquired a library card for that purpose. 

I do have a set of books that are decent (if old) hardcover editions of classics of literature, philosophy, or great scientific works or something. Truth be told I’m probably not ever going to sit down and read some of those but with everything going digital I feel a weird compulsion to keep them in case we find ourselves in a walking dead situation. Whoever rebuilds society might get a head start because I have maintained physical copies of Darwin and Newton.  

oh and the other book related habit I have formed is that I keep a log of whatever I read when I finish it. Have been doing that about 4 years now.

It started because several years ago I sat down to read Heinlein’s The Moon is A Harsh Mistress, which I had just bought at the local used bookstore. Realized about 10 pages in that I had DEFINITELY read it before. Even worse... that I had read it before and didn’t really like it. I made myself read it again anyway - still don’t really like it, but it is responsible for my log which is an overall life improvement.

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4 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:


Also I guess I own a legit Picasso painting now. It's really not that impressive to me. 

you can always send it to me and I’ll figure out something to do with it. 

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Windows updates, why so frustrating? My device has been asking me to restart every day for about a week to install/configure updates. Isn't one time enough?

 

On a brighter note, my awful mental health issues finally have a positive side since I am now eligible for a covid vaccine, just need to book my appointment. Yay!

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The most appreciated thing I ever wrote was a pun replying last night to a thread about the shrimp tails found in a box Cinnamon Toast Crunch.  The man who found it is named Karp.  He's married to the Topanga actress, Danielle Fishel.  1500 likes and my twitter notifications are constantly going off.  I'm viral now?

The tweet:
 

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Fishel grew up and became a Karp. But neither want the shrimp. If anyone knows what to make of all this, let minnow.

 

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So, Apophis asteroid won't hit us for at least 100 years.

https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/world/439328/apophis-asteroid-will-not-hit-earth-for-100-years-nasa-says

Are we supposed to talk that as good news? I feel like a 100 year safe from impact assurance is not particularly reassuring. If I ever have grand children, chances are they will still be alive by the time that guarantee runs out. Hopefully in the next 50 years or so we might get a longer guarantee period of no impact, or we will have figured out how to push asteroids onto a safer course. If it's worth mining it might be good to push it into orbit.

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8 minutes ago, The Anti-Targ said:

Are we supposed to talk that as good news? I feel like a 100 year safe from impact assurance is not particularly reassuring. If I ever have grand children, chances are they will still be alive by the time that guarantee runs out. Hopefully in the next 50 years or so we might get a longer guarantee period of no impact, or we will have figured out how to push asteroids onto a safer course. If it's worth mining it might be good to push it into orbit.

Part of me is amazed that we still live in fear of asteroids at this point. Given's mankind's relentless quest for the best possible way to blow shit up, you'd think nuking dangerous asteroids would be something easy for our species.

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32 minutes ago, Rippounet said:

Part of me is amazed that we still live in fear of asteroids at this point. Given's mankind's relentless quest for the best possible way to blow shit up, you'd think nuking dangerous asteroids would be something easy for our species.

The game has scarred us all, though. Perhaps it's influencing scientists and policy makers as well!

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