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Gender and bathrooms


Varysblackfyre321

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1 hour ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Having been sexually assaulted, as many other people in this thread have statistically likely been, it was someone I knew, and not in a public bathroom. And it was a male. 
 

On a much happier note:

My lesbian bathroom sex in front of the mirrors at the sink at Gay Pride in Minneapolis at the Gay Nineties was 110% consensual and 10/10 would do again. She didn’t give me her name and I didn’t give her mine. But we gave each other a good time :)

I have been raped by two people, one was a stranger, and one was my partner at the time. I reported the stranger (though he was never found or held responsible), I only sought an order for protection against the person I knew, and only used the physical violence for which I had witnesses as evidence. I knew if I pressed criminal charges it would be a long and shitty process and it would be pretty impossible and shitty for me to prove lack of consent because we lived together and I have a known history with consensual bdsm. Even if he was convicted, he’d be unlikely to do any jail time and it would have been a horrible experience for me. In the case with the stranger, had they found him- it would have been much easier to prove I didn’t consent because he was a stranger who followed me home and I managed to fight off in a way that would have left evidence.  I was not in continued physical danger from that person like I was from the person I knew. Not one person has ever doubted my account of that one- and with the person I knew most people who knew us did not believe it. As someone who has experienced both- they’re completely different scenarios and one is way way more common (and shittier both to deal with later and experience in the moment) than the other.

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17 hours ago, Derfel Cadarn said:

(btw baby boys are known to piss in people’s faces while having a nappy change). 

Ah yea, the fire hose. Have experienced that a few times already. They also sometimes laugh in your face as they do it. Little shits. The weird thing wrt bodily fluids is that when it comes to my kid I objectively know it’s disgusting but it just doesn’t register as something that bothers me. If it were anyone else’s shit and piss and barf everywhere (all the time) I’d be horrified, but when it’s your baby you’re just kinda like ‘eh’. 

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I'm not sure what hill you all are trying to die on.

The right sets up this false either/or choice and the left falls into every single time on all sorts of topics. The only choices here are not all unisex bathrooms everywhere or leave the strictly women's only/men's only bathrooms in place. The reasonable and realistic position is to add unisex restrooms but leave at least some women's rooms alone. Not sure how men feel about men's only rooms.

But because the left has the compulsion of opposing magnetic polarities to instantly and often thoughtlessly take the exact opposite of the conservative position (the left's version of owning the libs), they back themselves into outlandish and unrealistic positions at which point conservatives point and laugh at how crazy the far left is. And it works.

For religious reasons alone, the women's only rooms aren't going anywhere as sects of Islam, Judiasim and Christians are going to sue the hell out of that one. Maybe there's there's more open mindedness among the young and unassaulted, but do you think changing *all public bathrooms* to unisex is really going to fly beyond that? Really? Just add unisex bathrooms. There's practical reasons to do so (women's restroom lines and flexibility for families with young children) besides creating a space for the non-cisgendered for those who are still freaked out.

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11 hours ago, Fury Resurrected said:

I think what you are missing here (willfully, I think) is that sexual assaults by strangers and sexual assaults by people you know are very, very different. The vast majority of assaults are by people you know and are not in bathrooms and those are unreported. Victims are more likely to report a stranger than someone they know. The kinda of assaults you are characterizing as rampant in bathrooms are far more likely to be reported.

It’s easier to imagine the stranger committing sexual assault than the familiar. The stranger the man the easier is. A criticism I once read about a women’s self defense course is this framing of really only having to worry about being assaulted by strange men whilst out in public. There wasn’t really talk on what to do when it’s someone a woman knows and trusted whose the attacker.

Though to Lollygag’s credit she’s acknowledged that most the perpetrators of sexual assaults had a prior relationship with their victims.

I just disagree with her in the question of women’s overall safety in women’s bathroom vs a unisex bathroom.

If a woman is alone with a sexual predator it doesn’t matter significantly they’re occupying a woman’s only space or an office, or parking lot garage. Men will generally be no less or more creepier than they’d be in most other spaces to which they’re besides them.

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7 hours ago, S John said:

Ah yea, the fire hose. Have experienced that a few times already. They also sometimes laugh in your face as they do it. Little shits. The weird thing wrt bodily fluids is that when it comes to my kid I objectively know it’s disgusting but it just doesn’t register as something that bothers me. If it were anyone else’s shit and piss and barf everywhere (all the time) I’d be horrified, but when it’s your baby you’re just kinda like ‘eh’. 

Yeah. Once you’ve had a young kid in extreme discomfort due to constipation, there’s no more wonderful sight than a nappy full of shit. 

My daughter (aged 2.5 now) was screaming every second night for a while last summer, leaving me no choice but to take her out in her pushchair in the early hours which helped settle her. The gp prescribed laxido which helped, thankfully, because going out for a walk at 3 in thr morning in winter wasn’t happening!

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[mod] I should not have to say this: If a mod removes something, it's for good reason. Please do not repost materials that have already been removed. Thank you. [/mod]

Edit: Looks like two or more mods were acting simultaneously. I only deleted the reposted material, but it looks like another mod removed the whole post. 

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