General parenting advice thread

[litechick]

1 hour ago, VigoTheCarpathian said:

I’d say the important thing is what your personal level of comfort is, because kids sense the living shit out of shame/embarrassment and that’s what really sets the tone for how they’ll feel about your (and their) nudity, and future interactions.

I endorse this statement.

As a kid, nudity wasn't a big deal but in that 10 - 12 year old range, suddenly my belly button became an issue.  In the summertime it was perfectly appropriate to wear halter tops...until it wasn't.  I totally didn't understand that, "last year it was fine to wear a halter top but now it is not fine--why?"

Modesty is fine so long as it doesn't cross the line into body shaming.  Where is that line?  Who can say?

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

5 hours ago, A Horse Named Stranger said:

With cars, my childhood memories contain a deep dislike for that "New Car Smell". For some reason I've always disliked this chemical smell - and I still do. That in combination with my dad being a heavy smoker, almost made throw up there once. I swear to god, the combination of those chemicals, paired with cigarettes and the heating in the midst of winter can't be healthy. Most swear words I probably picked up from my dad playing Skat with his buddies or him being on the phone with them. A new car every few years on a workers wage to be financed somehow. Get your mind out of the gutter, Skat is simply card game.

 

One might say your chain smoking father was a Skatman. 

[Fragile Bird]

Mark Twain once said, "When a boy turns 13, put him in a barrel and feed him through a knot hole. When he turns 16, plug the hole".

Iirc, WC Fields suggested that happen at birth and the hole be sealed up at age 13. But then again, when asked (in a movie) if he liked children, he said yes, fried.

[Spockydog]

I've heard it said that you don't know the meaning of fear until you become a parent. Caring for a dog can be stressful enough so I can't begin to imagine the terrors of being responsible for a tiny human. 

Edited April 15, 2021 by Spockydog

[BigFatCoward]

17 minutes ago, Spockydog said:

I've heard it said that you don't know the meaning of fear until you become a parent. Caring for a dog can be stressful enough so I can't begin to imagine the terrors of being responsible for a tiny human. 

I never worried a day in my life until 2018, I haven't spent a day since without overwhelming terror. 

[Rippounet]

22 minutes ago, Spockydog said:

I've heard it said that you don't know the meaning of fear until you become a parent. Caring for a dog can be stressful enough so I can't begin to imagine the terrors of being responsible for a tiny human. 

Every year you age ten years.
Bonus aging if there's a global pandemic.

[S John]

28 minutes ago, BigFatCoward said:

I never worried a day in my life until 2018, I haven't spent a day since without overwhelming terror. 

I don’t worry about him too much day to day, probably because he can’t go anywhere on his own yet. But earlier this week I did an infant CPR class and I had to resolutely refuse to pretend that the doll was anything other than just a doll. Contextualizing it as an actual infant, specifically my son, was too hard to think about. It’s still hard to imagine ever having to apply what I learned, unthinkable. Hopefully it will forever remain unneeded knowledge. 

[BigFatCoward]

35 minutes ago, S John said:

I don’t worry about him too much day to day, probably because he can’t go anywhere on his own yet. But earlier this week I did an infant CPR class and I had to resolutely refuse to pretend that the doll was anything other than just a doll. Contextualizing it as an actual infant, specifically my son, was too hard to think about. It’s still hard to imagine ever having to apply what I learned, unthinkable. Hopefully it will forever remain unneeded knowledge. 

I've been to a few calls in my time with young children and its the only thing that's ever affected me. Even before I had my daughter. 

[Alarich II]

My kids are 7 (turning 8) and 6, boy and girl and nudity is not yet and issue. I usually sleep naked and so of course my kids will see me and my wife naked from time to time. When I go to the sauna with my parents, I see them naked too, so what? We let the kids bathe naked at the beach until they reached an age where they wanted to put on bathing clothes (that was last year) and they are still fond of the occasional skinny-dipping when we are on holidays. What I found interesting is when my daughter took a swimming course at the public pool she was about 5 and she was the only girl who only wore a slip and no full bathing suit or bikini. I mean seriously, why do 5 year old girls have to wear a bikini? To make shure, they are not mistaken for boys? To teach them that they have to cover their breasts?

The only time nudity is a bit akward, is when I get out of bed naked and I'm manspreading on the edge of the bed and the dog comes around and wants to lick my junk.

Edited April 15, 2021 by Alarich II

[Derfel Cadarn]

3 hours ago, BigFatCoward said:

I never worried a day in my life until 2018, I haven't spent a day since without overwhelming terror. 

This.

The worst epxperience of my life was when my then-11 month old, who had been sent home from nursery with a fever, had a febrile convulsion while we were alone in the house. She convulsed, eyes were open but no one was home, wasnt breathing, and I was supporting her head while trying to quickly call an ambulance, fully expecting her to pass out at any moment and that I’d have to do CPR. Fortunately she started breathing again while I was on the phone to the ambulance operator, but she was still quite rigid.

Took 15 minutes for the ambulance to arrive, by which time she was breathing again and starting to recover. 

Edited April 15, 2021 by Derfel Cadarn

[JGP]

27 minutes ago, Derfel Cadarn said:

This.

The worst epxperience of my life was when my then-11 month old, who had been sent home from nursery with a fever, had a febrile convulsion while we were alone in the house. She convulsed, eyes were open but no one was home, wasnt breathing, and I was supporting her head while trying to quickly call an ambulance, fully expecting her to pass out at any moment and that I’d have to do CPR. Fortunately she started breathing again while I was on the phone to the ambulance operator, but she was still quite rigid.

Took 15 minutes for the ambulance to arrive, by which time she was breathing again and starting to recover. 

JESUS

[HexMachina]

16 hours ago, A Horse Named Stranger said:

With cars, my childhood memories contain a deep dislike for that "New Car Smell". For some reason I've always disliked this chemical smell - and I still do. That in combination with my dad being a heavy smoker, almost made throw up there once. I swear to god, the combination of those chemicals, paired with cigarettes and the heating in the midst of winter can't be healthy. Most swear words I probably picked up from my dad playing Skat with his buddies or him being on the phone with them. A new car every few years on a workers wage to be financed somehow. Get your mind out of the gutter, Skat is simply card game.

 

My childhood memories of cars is those awful awful car air fresheners that you hang on the mirror. I also got sick really bad on long journeys and started associating the smell with being sick because they make me queasy even now.

[BigFatCoward]

Realised just now that kids will sleep when they want and not when they don't. I stubbed my already broken toe on the little mans swing chair and screamed fuck at the top of my lungs 3 times, he didn't even flicker.

[Derfel Cadarn]

10 minutes ago, BigFatCoward said:

Realised just now that kids will sleep when they want and not when they don't. I stubbed my already broken toe on the little mans swing chair and screamed fuck at the top of my lungs 3 times, he didn't even flicker.

Yep. Almost-3 year old daughter is a pain to get to sleep (already told nursery no more naps unless she really needs it). Bit when she’s asleep, she’s asleep. Almost shat myself when takeaway driver rang doorbell, but she didnt stir.

[maarsen]

38 minutes ago, Derfel Cadarn said:

Yep. Almost-3 year old daughter is a pain to get to sleep (already told nursery no more naps unless she really needs it). Bit when she’s asleep, she’s asleep. Almost shat myself when takeaway driver rang doorbell, but she didnt stir.

I could write a book full of stories about trying to get my kids to sleep, There is even a chapter on dealing with monsters under the bed. When fighting the monster, don't make the sound effects too real.

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

19 minutes ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Kids and cats, dude, so f——cking similar.

So dogs are superior to not only cats, but kids as well. Glad to have this documented.

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

15 minutes ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Dogs drool. Just sayin.

My Bailey that just passed never drooled. She wouldn't even lick your face, just touch noses. But if you had just put some smelly lotion on your hands, good luck. That was her catnip. 

She would dunk her head into lakes and pools though, biting the water, so her face did get wet it other ways. 

[Derfel Cadarn]

Ugh.

So at 0520 she kind of puked. Nothing to bring up though she did try. Happened sgain two more times 15 mins apart (so far, sitting with her).

No idea why. Nothing came up apart from yellowy saliva. Was 11 hours after her dinner. It had maybe gone bit cold as she messed around before eating it, but I had some too.

edit: Wife’s nightshift next three nights, hope it’s a one-off. Not a great sleeper when just me watching kid at the best of times, never mind when I’ll be listening out all night for puking

 

Edited August 6, 2021 by Derfel Cadarn

[S John]

9 hours ago, Derfel Cadarn said:

Ugh.

So at 0520 she kind of puked. Nothing to bring up though she did try. Happened sgain two more times 15 mins apart (so far, sitting with her).

No idea why. Nothing came up apart from yellowy saliva. Was 11 hours after her dinner. It had maybe gone bit cold as she messed around before eating it, but I had some too.

edit: Wife’s nightshift next three nights, hope it’s a one-off. Not a great sleeper when just me watching kid at the best of times, never mind when I’ll be listening out all night for puking

 

Good luck, hope she feels better.

my son goes to daycare during the day and they have an app where they post pictures and update whatever he is doing so we know how much food he’s had and if he’s going to the bathroom and whatnot.  A little banner comes up on my phone and will say something like ‘new nap has been added’.

Well, yesterday when I was commuting home the banner came up and it said something like ‘new health incident has been added’ and my gut reaction was WTF is that! Is he ok, did he hit his head or something? Is he breathing!?

Then I go into the app and the health incident was that he spit up his lunch. He is 7 months old he spits up all the time. I think they really need to adjust that one. A health incident oughtta be - he’s got a fever, he passed out, he needed some kind of medical attention. Not ‘he barfed’. Gave me a very brief panic attack. 

[Derfel Cadarn]

Thanks

She was ‘sick’ another two times snd then was fine. No issues past couple nights which is great because wife’s nightshift. 
Phoned GP re bile, wasnt concerned as no other symptoms; thought maybe a viral bug that ‘kicked in’ at that time, and given she was sick at 0500ish, there was nothing else to bring up.