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Silliest Movie Premises that actually got made.


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1 hour ago, Fury Resurrected said:

Glenn Danzig just made an erotic vampire western that he acts in. I have not seen it but I can guarantee it will be the worst thing to have ever happened

I thought his previous movie Verotika was the worst thing ever?

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20 minutes ago, Rippounet said:

Abraham Lincoln, vampire hunter surely deserves an honorable mention.

Not to mention that atrocious novel.  Ya, slavery and epidemics come from supernatural causes, not human.

 

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1 hour ago, Rippounet said:

Abraham Lincoln, vampire hunter surely deserves an honorable mention.

I've not seen it, but I'm not sure it would live up to Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

The trailer does omit the bit where Jesus' sidekick is for some reason a Mexican wrestler.

Another contender might the Killer Tomatoes franchise where even the trailer for Return of the Killer Tomatoes (starring a before-he-was-famous George Clooney) spends most of its time explaining how inexplicable it is that the film got made:

I seem to remember it being quite fun.

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3 hours ago, Gronzag said:

Face Off. The super assassins are trying to kill each other. Than they swap faces and continue to try kill each other.

And nobody notices they've been swapped despite the fact that their bodies are totally different. 

20 minutes ago, williamjm said:

I've not seen it, but I'm not sure it would live up to Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

The trailer does omit the bit where Jesus' sidekick is for some reason a Mexican wrestler.

I remember buying that on DVD from a mall kiosk based on the name and being very disappointed. As I recall he shaves off his jesus beard and hair like right away. 

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Posted (edited)

Please enjoy watching the full feature film, Manos: Hands of Fate (translation: Hands: Hands of Fate).

A family gets lost on the road and stumbles upon a hidden, underground, devil-worshiping cult led by the fearsome Master and his servant Torgo, who use human hands as sacrificial offerings to their god.  Dumb as hell and featuring a story that goes exactly nowhere, this film was apparently made on a bet.

Don't sleep on the horny parkers who appear to make out for the entire length of the movie for no perceptible reason.  And please note that the actor playing Torgo is not adopting a particular acting style so much as he was high on acid the entire time. 

Edited by Wilbur
punctuation fail
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1 hour ago, RumHam said:

And nobody notices they've been swapped despite the fact that their bodies are totally different. 

Nonsense, Castor Troy lacks... whatever the John Travolta's character's name was... he lacks that scar! Which apparently was the only thing. 

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5 minutes ago, Deadlines? What Deadlines? said:

Not great but not terrible. Performances are good. Sam Elliott is very "Sam Elliott" in it. 

The only time I've seen him not be very "Sam Elliot" is when he shaved his mustache for Justified. Dude looked a bit like the grinch. 

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9 minutes ago, RumHam said:

The only time I've seen him not be very "Sam Elliot" is when he shaved his mustache for Justified. Dude looked a bit like the grinch. 

He grew it out for Tombstone and the Big Lebowski. Trimmed it for Hulk. Shaved it off for the Contender. That one still haunts me. He has so much range. 

Oh, hell yes.

https://www.redbubble.com/i/mask/Moustache-Art-The-Sam-by-gentlemanbeggar/48272182.9G0D8

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19 minutes ago, Deadlines? What Deadlines? said:

He grew it out for Tombstone and the Big Lebowski. Trimmed it for Hulk. Shaved it off for the Contender. That one still haunts me. He has so much range. 

Oh, hell yes.

https://www.redbubble.com/i/mask/Moustache-Art-The-Sam-by-gentlemanbeggar/48272182.9G0D8

Oh I didn't realize, I never saw the contender. 

Also that image you linked may have awoken something in me....

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