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Which animals could you take in an unarmed fight?


Fez

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I thought about just posting this in the US politics thread, since it is polling, but it's kind of a stretch to make any political connection here. Except, perhaps, the fact that 1-in-14 Americans think they could beat a grizzly bear unarmed is the final proof that some of us are irredeemably stupid.

Personally, I feel confident I could beat everything up to a medium-sized dog, and anything beyond that I'm dead if the animal wants me dead.

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6 minutes ago, Leap said:

I could definitely take a grizzly bear in a fight. The trick is to find their weak point - destroy them from the inside out.

Grizzly bears have crippling anxiety and self-doubt issues?

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I'm a little confused by the 40 percent of people who don't think they could defeat a goose in a fight.  Like, a goose would hurt you, but you outweigh it by at least a factor of 8, and it doesn't have teeth or claws to inflict real damage.  

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4 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

Two questions. When fighting the cobra, do you get an antidote shot afterwards, and does it count as beating the bear if I just scare it off?

I'd argue "no" for the cobra. The question is about being unarmed, which I take to mean you don't have anything besides your everyday clothes. If you stomp the cobra to death but it bites you and you die of venom poisoning, I think that's a draw.

But I'd say "yes" for the bear. The question is just about beating it in a fight, not about a fight to death. And there's no specification that the fight is taking place in a locked room or anything.

1 minute ago, Maithanet said:

I'm a little confused by the 40 percent of people who don't think they could defeat a goose in a fight.  Like, a goose would hurt you, but you outweigh it by at least a factor of 8, and it doesn't have teeth or claws to inflict real damage.  

Agreed. And I say this as someone who went to college in Buffalo, I have the utmost respect for how dangerous geese can be. I still don't think a single one could kill me. A flock sure, but a flock of anything could kill someone.

I'm more concerned about the people who don't think they could beat a rat or a cat. Maybe they're defining the fight with the rat as having to catch the rat, which yeah, that could be hard potentially. But if that rat is out in the open, it's a goner in a straight fight.

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11 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

Two questions. When fighting the cobra, do you get an antidote shot afterwards, and does it count as beating the bear if I just scare it off?

 

 

Scaring off a grizzly is probably not going to happen.  unlike black bears, they tend to become more enraged and crank up the predator response when threatened.  

 

These questions always make me queasy once I start actually imagining the action.

 

I'm kind of surprised at how many people think they could handle anything beyond eagle; while all of those animals are being underestimated, I think the chimpanzee is the real sleeper.  

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Okay then it would be a draw with the snake, so that’s a no. The bear depends on location. In a cage, no, but in a forest, maybe. If it’s a momma bear with her cubs, that’s a no, but if not I might be able to scare it. Bears retreat rather easily, but I’m not sure if a grizzly would. I could take large dog and below, but there would be horrible injuries. No human is beating a roo, wolf, gorilla or lion. The chimp and the croc feel like a wild cards.

Who are these idiots who think they can take the elephant? How? HOW? You couldn’t even hurt the elephant.

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7 minutes ago, Fez said:

I'm more concerned about the people who don't think they could beat a rat or a cat.

Yeah, I guess I kinda get people being repulsed by rats, but not a house cat.  How 26% of men and 36% of women think they couldn't take a house cat suggests they are not responding in good faith.

Also, "medium sized dog" is kind of dependent.  Like, I'd feel much more comfortable fighting a retriever rather than a pitbull even though the former is considerably larger.  On the other hand, I get splitting up dogs and I can't think of a better way to do it than size without just naming breeds.

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I'm a little confused about why more people think they could beat an elephant than a lion or bear. I mean obviously realistically 'none of them' but I'm fairly sure a human could inflict pain on the predators if they got an opening but what are they even going to do to an elephant?

 


Also the wolf should not be higher than the large dog, given that the biggest dogs are much larger than a wolf and even breeds that are roughly equal size to the wolf can way heavier. It's not as if wolves are known for their lonesome fighting.

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I guess you could try gripping onto the elephant's trunk really tightly with your whole body. That might cause a bit of discomfort to it for a few seconds until it moves around quickly, throws you off, stomps you to death possibly without even knowing that it did so, and then goes on about it's day.

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16 minutes ago, larrytheimp said:

I'm kind of surprised at how many people think they could handle anything beyond eagle; while all of those animals are being underestimated, I think the chimpanzee is the real sleeper.  

Yeah wikipedia says chimps are 1.5 times stronger than humans, which suggests most humans would lose in a fight.  That's kind of the problem with a lot of the animals in the middle for me.  Other than seeing them at zoos I don't have much firsthand experience with them, so, really, I don't know.

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Just now, DMC said:

Yeah wikipedia says chimps are 1.5 times stronger than humans, which suggests most humans would lose in a fight.  That's kind of the problem with a lot of the animals in the middle for me.  Other than seeing them at zoos I don't have much firsthand experience with them, so, really, I don't know.

Additionally, chimps are much more agressive than gorillas.  Using the "scare it off" concept a person should be better able to take on a gorilla than a chimp.

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Don't underestimate small to medium-sized dogs. Their reactions are much faster than yours.

Me, I'd say I could take on a hamster, maybe a rabbit if I'm feeling brave. Of course I'm not a man.

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Everything from wolf or below I think it's possible to take in a fight, but you would need to get extremely lucky against the Wolf, Chimpanzee, King Cobra, and Kangaroo to win as the odds would definitely be heavily in their favor.     I don't see how an unarmed man could even hurt the top four very much.   I guess when in doubt, go for the nads.  

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1 hour ago, Maithanet said:

I'm a little confused by the 40 percent of people who don't think they could defeat a goose in a fight.  Like, a goose would hurt you, but you outweigh it by at least a factor of 8, and it doesn't have teeth or claws to inflict real damage.  

Geese are freaking terrifying.  Also, I know I couldn’t take a yard velociraptor a/k/a turkey. Anything that big that can fly and is that mean just has a pretty heavy advantage.

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