Which animals could you take in an unarmed fight?

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

13 minutes ago, A True Kaniggit said:

Negative to this. Three humans with bats vs one lion? While the lion is clawing the first human, the other two are bashing its head in. 
 

Big cats go for the throat. Of all the animals on the list, lions would kill you the quickest. And a bat hit probably wouldn't phase it too much.

[A True Kaniggit]

5 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

Big cats go for the throat. Of all the animals on the list, lions would kill you the quickest. And a bat hit probably wouldn't phase it too much.

Bat to skull. While it is biting the third guys throat. 
 

Do big cats have super uncrackable skulls?

F=MA. 

[Fez]

9 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

Big cats go for the throat. Of all the animals on the list, lions would kill you the quickest. And a bat hit probably wouldn't phase it too much.

Hence the two clones, and give one of them some meat-scented cologne. Make sure you're not the one the lion goes for and that you're one of the head-bashers instead.

But sticking within the original parameters, where it's just you, yeah we're all fucked even if we have a bat.

[Fez]

Also  I'm not Mina Kimes, although that seems like it would be a fun life. I'd hang out with Dan Le Batard and Katie Nolan and talk sports.

Not sure I could handle being a Bucs fan though; even before they became the nu-Pats.

[Maithanet]

I think you guys are overestimating how easy it is to land a headshot, with power behind it, on a moving lion.  And it's not like you get a lot of chances at it, the lion definitely kills/mortally injured at least one person on the first pass.

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

15 minutes ago, Maithanet said:

I think you guys are overestimating how easy it is to land a headshot, with power behind it, on a moving lion.  And it's not like you get a lot of chances at it, the lion definitely kills/mortally injured at least one person on the first pass.

Two of the three would be dead within 10 seconds.

Also, when fighting lions hit each other hard as fuck in the face. I'm not sure how that directly compares to a lion getting hit in the head with a bat, but the chances are low of a head shot and even if you get the perfect one who knows on it will impact it. It may not phase it at all. Now Mina Kimes Fez is dead.

 

Now, if we're allowing alternate scenarios with the 0% percenters, Can I fight a lion, alone in the open and not suspecting, with me being in a tree 100 feet away and I get a rapid fire hunting crossbow with 10 quills?

[karaddin]

21 minutes ago, Maithanet said:

I think you guys are overestimating how easy it is to land a headshot, with power behind it, on a moving lion.  And it's not like you get a lot of chances at it, the lion definitely kills/mortally injured at least one person on the first pass.

Agreed. I think in general some are overestimating the strength and speed of humans and underestimating that of animals. A big eagle is severely lacerating the arm you block with while also hitting with a lot of force if it's come in from a dive. Successfully grabbing it with the other arm is not as easy as you think. Maybe picturing bald eagles is leading you astray.

[A True Kaniggit]

41 minutes ago, Maithanet said:

I think you guys are overestimating how easy it is to land a headshot, with power behind it, on a moving lion.  And it's not like you get a lot of chances at it, the lion definitely kills/mortally injured at least one person on the first pass.

 

14 minutes ago, karaddin said:

Agreed. I think in general some are overestimating the strength and speed of humans and underestimating that of animals. A big eagle is severely lacerating the arm you block with while also hitting with a lot of force if it's come in from a dive. Successfully grabbing it with the other arm is not as easy as you think. Maybe picturing bald eagles is leading you astray.

Perhaps I’m mistaken about the way lions kill?

They pounce, bite, hold on, and bear down until the prey is dead I believe.  

Not the quick slashes and maneuverings of wolves. 

As for the eagle, it is a fight. We are facing each other when the battle begins, not like it has the element of surprise.

[karaddin]

14 minutes ago, A True Kaniggit said:

 

Perhaps I’m mistaken about the way lions kill?

They pounce, bite, hold on and, bear down until the prey is dead I believe.  

Not the quick slashes and maneuverings of wolves. 
 

 

That's hunting behavior and they're pack predators. In a 3 humans vs 1 lion scenario they're doing self defence, not hunting. They're not stupid, they will change their behavior for the situation.

This video has an old lion defending himself from a full pack of hyenas until another lion comes along, even when it goes for the throat it's only doing a very quick bite and release so it can continue to defend it's flanks, while the hyenas attempting to do quick bites on it's back/legs don't even seem to be breaking the skin. The arrival of a single second lion is enough to send the hyenas running despite the huge numbers difference.

The other thing to note here is that we're easier for a lion to kill then a hyena, it could very much tear our throat out in the time it spends on a couple of the hyenas. Our skin isn't particularly tough, and by being bipedal we're exposing not just our throat but all the other important organs in the belly. That's a weak point in most animals, but they keep it from being exposed by being on all 4s.

[A True Kaniggit]

Fine! I give in! I can’t beat a lion while allied with two clones when we’re all equipped with bats . (It’s not fair when you have Sir Attenborough on your side)

Not backing down on the eagle fight though. I got that. 

[Clueless Northman]

Thing is, I just don't think any sane lion would actually attack on his own 3 humans, with or without bats. For this to happen, the humans must be foolish enough to corner it first.

As said, geese, like swans, have nasty wings and can break your arm or leg. I had a bloody swan come at me when I was a teen, not a nice prospect; it stopped quite fast, probably seeing that I wasn't alone and felt risky to go after one of a larger group - or it just didn't want to set foot on the shore for whatever reason.

Concerning the elephants, I suppose people assumed it was just making a stand and staring down the animal enough that it would leave them alone. That's feasible, that's been done, that's been filmed. But that's not a fight, so that shouldn't be taken into consideration. So that just leaves us with a situation where pretty much 100% of humans would lose, badly, most being killed in the process.

So, I just can't see how any sensible person can expect to win against the top-5.  Heck, even with kangaroos and chimps, I don't expect many humans to make it out without being badly beaten up (and losing the fight of course).

I would still assume that for the question to be serious, it should be a genuine fight, one that you can't avoid, and most probably one to the death. In this case, most people would indeed beat a rat, thankfully.

[karaddin]

Yeah if they're talking red kangaroos that's another 0%. That belly weakness I just mentioned is something they've specifically evolved to not have, as they fight by kicking each other extremely hard in that exact spot which is what they'll do to a human as well. They're also way faster than us. Not surprising people wouldn't realise it though, and Eastern grey kangaroos might be more what people think of, which would still not be a great fight but better than red.

[Mlle. Zabzie]

2 minutes ago, karaddin said:

Yeah if they're talking red kangaroos that's another 0%. That belly weakness I just mentioned is something they've specifically evolved to not have, as they fight by kicking each other extremely hard in that exact spot which is what they'll do to a human as well. They're also way faster than us. Not surprising people wouldn't realise it though, and Eastern grey kangaroos might be more what people think of, which would still not be a great fight but better than red.

I’m not taking on anything from Australia.  

[karaddin]

Seriously look at how jacked these guys get

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-12-10/roger-the-ripped-kangaroo-dies/10599312?utm_medium=content_shared&utm_source=abc_news_amp&utm_campaign=abc_news_amp&utm_content=mail

Photo is at the top of the article

[brook]

20 minutes ago, Mlle. Zabzie said:

I’m not taking on anything from Australia.  

The problem is any aussie animal I could possibly take would kill me with cuteness first

https://youtu.be/CM4BRn7rWb8

 

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

1 hour ago, karaddin said:

Yeah if they're talking red kangaroos that's another 0%. That belly weakness I just mentioned is something they've specifically evolved to not have, as they fight by kicking each other extremely hard in that exact spot which is what they'll do to a human as well. They're also way faster than us. Not surprising people wouldn't realise it though, and Eastern grey kangaroos might be more what people think of, which would still not be a great fight but better than red.

Yeah, that's why I said no chance with the roos. They can gut you with a kick.

[A Horse Named Stranger]

I'd take one of the respondents, who think they are able to take on a grizzly.

While they bravely storm into their demise, I'll get the hell outta Dodge.

Before you start biggering, humans are mammals.

[S John]

I feel like the chimp / Large dog / king cobra tier is already beyond most humans and obviously anything higher than that is a joke. A chimp would seriously fuck up most humans. As would a large dog if it had a mind to. I mean, give me a baseball bat, sure that would turn the tide, but bare handed? No way. Animals flip the fuck out and fight with complete reckless abandon and would tear at you with everything they have. Humans are mostly not conditioned to handle that and certainly not without weapons.

The one that does kind of intrigue me though is the king cobra. I am completely revolted by snakes so I can’t imagine actually doing this BUT in a fight to the death if you were able to either get the snake behind the head or by the tail without getting bitten then you are in business. I feel like that one is plausible because even though that is a huge snake you will be much larger and have the advantage of limbs. You might be able to feint one direction and trick it into a position where you can get past the fangs.

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

7 minutes ago, S John said:

I feel like the chimp / Large dog / king cobra tier is already beyond most humans and obviously anything higher than that is a joke. A chimp would seriously fuck up most humans. As would a large dog if it had a mind to. I mean, give me a baseball bat, sure that would turn the tide, but bare handed? No way. Animals flip the fuck out and fight with complete reckless abandon and would tear at you with everything they have. Humans are mostly not conditioned to handle that and certainly not without weapons.

The one that does kind of intrigue me though is the king cobra. I am completely revolted by snakes so I can’t imagine actually doing this BUT in a fight to the death if you were able to either get the snake behind the head or by the tail without getting bitten then you are in business. I feel like that one is plausible because even though that is a huge snake you will be much larger and have the advantage of limbs. You might be able to feint one direction and trick it into a position where you can get past the fangs.

The premise isn't a fight to the death. We're not in a cage match, so that's why the large dog and chimp are curious. If they're trying to kill you, that would be a problem, but would one good strike to the head make them retreat if we're in an open field?

With the cobra, depending on what you're wearing, you might be able to beat it by jumping really high and landing close to its head. That's the weakest spot. 

[S John]

4 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

The premise isn't a fight to the death. We're not in a cage match, so that's why the large dog and chimp are curious. If they're trying to kill you, that would be a problem, but would one good strike to the head make them retreat if we're in an open field?

With the cobra, depending on what you're wearing, you might be able to beat it by jumping really high and landing close to its head. That's the weakest spot. 

Ok if it’s not a cage match then maybe defeating a large dog is on the table. I could see getting a large dog to retreat unarmed but if the dog is determined then most humans are in serious trouble. 

but I feel like if a chimp was coming at a human with bad intent and that human landed a quality roundhouse kick to the chimp’s head, that would be enough to knock the chimp off course - but he’s still ultimately on his way over to rip that human’s nuts off (human is a dude in this scenario). I’ve heard when chimps attack humans they always go for the soft vulnerable parts like your face and genitals. No thank you.