Which animals could you take in an unarmed fight?

[Consigliere]

I think I might be able to take Bambi.

[Zorral]

3 minutes ago, Consigliere said:

I think I might be able to take Bambi.

Not after he becomes King of the Forest!

I can't remember if it was Bambi as Big Stag, or if it was The Big Stag his father who actually attacked a two legs to save a young deer.  It was the legendary encounter of a Hero of His People!

[Impmk2]

9 hours ago, ants said:

They’re actually pretty damn quick on land. 

 

8 hours ago, Clueless Northman said:

Crocs are faster on land than humans. Unless you start away from it and can run for your life, you're in trouble.

Most sources on google seem to indicate crocs can run at about 12-17km/hr. From wiki:

Quote

The land speed record for a crocodile is 17 km/h (11 mph) measured in a galloping Australian freshwater crocodile

That's just a little faster than my 5k pace, and well, well below the pace I (or another reasonably fit human) could hold for 100m. And they're only doing that for 20-30m, and have a pretty shitty turning circle. On land humans definitely have a speed / mobility advantage, unless you start with the croc very close and hidden, in which case the human is fucked.

[HexMachina]

On 5/14/2021 at 9:17 PM, polishgenius said:

I suppose the very end of the trunk is probably quite sensitive so if you managed to get it to hold still for a second and punch it right there you might cause it to sneeze.

*giggles* 

Yes, I'm that immature.

On 5/14/2021 at 9:23 PM, Mindwalker said:

Don't underestimate small to medium-sized dogs. Their reactions are much faster than yours.

Me, I'd say I could take on a hamster, maybe a rabbit if I'm feeling brave. Of course I'm not a man.

I'd need to feel brave to take on a rabbit. We had two, and they were vicious. Any time we opened their hutch to clean they'd lunge and clamp their teeth to me. There was also a dicey incident when they got loose while my nanna's dog was there and it certainly wasn't the rabbits who came off worse in that situation.  

13 hours ago, Leap said:

If you pay attention to nursery rhymes, they are frequently shamed for the amount of food they eat, and it's often stolen from them anyway. Pretty abusive if you ask me.

Not to mention the size shaming. Disgusting behaviour 

[A Horse Named Stranger]

50 minutes ago, Zorral said:

Not after he becomes King of the Forest!

I can't remember if it was Bambi as Big Stag, or if it was The Big Stag his father who actually attacked a two legs to save a young deer.  It was the legendary encounter of a Hero of His People!

 

Not the clip I was looking for, but reminded me of that episode.

[polishgenius]

10 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said:

I'd need to feel brave to take on a rabbit. We had two, and they were vicious.

 

A friend of mine back when we were kids and his sister got a pair of rabbits. They were meant to be a boy and a girl (which is a whole other story that later neighbours learned about to their cost because they started with one hutch and ended up with about six) but both were boys- they separated them but not enough and one went so wild trying to kick through the fence the poor little bastard broke his own spine.

Rabbits are bastards.

[HexMachina]

3 minutes ago, polishgenius said:

 

A friend of mine back when we were kids and his sister got a pair of rabbits. They were meant to be a boy and a girl (which is a whole other story that later neighbours learned about to their cost because they started with one hutch and ended up with about six) but both were boys- they separated them but not enough and one went so wild trying to kick through the fence the poor little bastard broke his own spine.

Rabbits are bastards.

Yikes. We had two females and they could get very aggressive with each other. We bought a bigger hutch for them but kept the original one in case we had to separate them.

I've also just remembered my friend's distress at waking up one morning to find that one of her two hamsters had died overnight. As if that wasn't enough, the other hamster was eating the dead one

[Zorral]

22 minutes ago, A Horse Named Stranger said:

 

Not the clip I was looking for, but reminded me of that episode.

I was thinking of the books by Austrian writer, Felix Salten, Bambi (1923), and Bambi's Children (1939), written while in exile in Switzerland, having had to flee the nazis, due to his heritage.

https://prabook.com/web/felix.salten/1720090

I pretty much memorized these books as a kid, and are still here on my shelves.  This despite they are talking animal books, which I generally, even as a kid, disliked intensely.  There were great exceptions though, such as Beautiful Joe, and Black Beauty.

Just checked. Ah it was Bambi's Children in which Bambi charges a Man.

[Spockydog]

16 hours ago, ants said:

The croc is beating everything except the elephant. 

Hippo >> croc

 

[Zorral]

19 minutes ago, Spockydog said:

Hippo >> croc

 

Tell us more, please!

Thanks to Escobar, there are giant hippos in Colombia's waters now.

 

[Spockydog]

8 minutes ago, Zorral said:

Tell us more, please!

Thanks to Escobar, there are giant hippos in Colombia's waters now.

 

Nature is wild.

Stay away from those freaking water horses.  They might look like big, gummy dumbasses, but these monsters are apparently responsible for the most animal-related deaths in Africa.

 

 

[Varysblackfyre321]

I don't know if there's a winning answer with a dog whatever the size.

If I hear a guy or woman beat up a dog my first thought was “dick”

Unless of course the dog attacked. 

 

[DireWolfSpirit]

I think "almost never" is the only believable reply to the question of whether unarmed people can take anything above, say a rabbit or perhaps a ferret.

Even birds can blind a human pretty easily, the hawk, eagle or chimp would remove your face and bleed you from the groin before you even realized what was happening.

That one earlier about 3 guys with bats against a Lion was the funniest scenario yet though. All that would come of that is an incredibly large pile of meat for that Lion to dine on.

[JGP]

1 hour ago, Varysblackfyre321 said:

I don't know if there's a winning answer with a dog whatever the size.

If I hear a guy or woman beat up a dog my first thought was “dick”

Unless of course the dog attacked. 

 

One of my neighbors came bounding outside thinking perhaps I'd done that to mine, but I was 60 feet away tossing my pup's poop bag in the garbage when Tulip decided to run right into a wicked thorn bush in my backyard. To be fair, startled me too, the way she went on you'd have thought maybe a coyote had gotten ahold of her or something lol

[Loge]

6 hours ago, DireWolfSpirit said:

I think "almost never" is the only believable reply to the question of whether unarmed people can take anything above, say a rabbit or perhaps a ferret.

Even birds can blind a human pretty easily, the hawk, eagle or chimp would remove your face and bleed you from the groin before you even realized what was happening.

That one earlier about 3 guys with bats against a Lion was the funniest scenario yet though. All that would come of that is an incredibly large pile of meat for that Lion to dine on.

That must have been a scary moment for the driver. Apparently she merely got bruised. 

[Varysblackfyre321]

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwiU_tW4ic7wAhWB9Z4KHX-LAQQQ3ywwAHoECAQQAg&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DP89X-j-TWVE&usg=AOvVaw169SFnmlY6hvAywbFqHndt
Real life fighting with other people is awkward.

Fighting with animals would be even more.

[Soylent Brown]

Question: Are we allowed to use our superpowers, or would that be considered cheating?

[Castellan]

It's probably easier to wrestle a dog than to deal effectively with an annoying mosquito in the room at night (assuming chemical weapons are barred), or with a magpie deciding to swoop you sending you staggering along the street holding a pathetic stick over your head.

I'm not keen on confrontation with any animals.

[DireWolfSpirit]

4 hours ago, Loge said:

That must have been a scary moment for the driver. Apparently she merely got bruised. 

It's as if the vehicle is just a toy to that motivated Rhino.

[QuietColours]

The only reason I think I might be able to handle a large dog is a certain degree of experience--I've seen dogs fight on multiple occasions, I have waded into the middle of dog fights and broken them up with and without tools (with a heavy blanket is much, much preferable), and I've been bitten by a large dog and wouldn't freeze up with the sensation (poor thing had been abused and teenage QC moved too quickly--it was my fault. She got much better with time and patience, although she was never a dog you'd leave alone with a child). Given having a certain degree of experience with the situation, I think I'd manage to defend myself and react better than with a species I'd never interacted with. That said, I'd much rather take a large dog bred for bird retrieving than one bred for defense or fighting, and I would expect to take significant damage.

An eagle? I guess the question would be if I could get a lucky set of blows in before I passed out from shock and blood loss. And I am not messing with a chimp.