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Which animals could you take in an unarmed fight?


Fez

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Domesticated humans are pretty terrible at fighting without tools, and even feral humans aren't terribly impressive.  Probably safe to assume any animal close to our weight is going to outclass us. 

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But on the flip side animals are quick to flee. They want to survive too so depending on the animal you might only have to fend it for for 15-20 seconds.

Plus never underestimate a good kick to the head. Speaking of which, do we at least get to pick footwear that would be advantageous? Could a woman who knows how to fight benefit from high heels?

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2 hours ago, Maithanet said:

I'm a little confused by the 40 percent of people who don't think they could defeat a goose in a fight.  Like, a goose would hurt you, but you outweigh it by at least a factor of 8, and it doesn't have teeth or claws to inflict real damage.  

A mature goose's wings can break your bones.  Their bills can do incredible damage.  Ask people who grow up with geese on their farms.

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1 minute ago, Zorral said:

A mature goose's wings can break your bones.  Their bills can do incredible damage.  Ask people who grow up with geese on their farms.

I grew up with geese. They are fearless also, and like to attack as a group.

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1 minute ago, maarsen said:

I grew up with geese. They are fearless also, and like to attack as a group.

Geeze r O.G., you all.  They even held the bridge against an attack on Rome, so they're DOUBLY O.G.

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We need to take about the elephant in the room: The Eagle. What constitutes taking the eagle? Do you need to knock it to the ground? Outright kill it? Or is just defending yourself and swatting it away enough to count?

These are the pressing questions we need answers for.

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46 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

But on the flip side animals are quick to flee. They want to survive too so depending on the animal you might only have to fend it for for 15-20 seconds.

Plus never underestimate a good kick to the head. Speaking of which, do we at least get to pick footwear that would be advantageous? Could a woman who knows how to fight benefit from high heels?

No.  Impedes running away.  Balance is off.  Unless they are stripper heels with reinforced shanks, you probably can’t put enough pressure to get good leverage.  On balance, pun intended, I want my docs.

37 minutes ago, Zorral said:

A mature goose's wings can break your bones.  Their bills can do incredible damage.  Ask people who grow up with geese on their farms.

Right.  Geese are terrifying.  You mentioned the Geese that saved Rome.  They might have then taken down the Romans for not feeding them enough.  I respect.

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We need rules to avoid confusion.

It’s a fight. The animal is attackIng you and you are attacking it. The thing is not just going to wander off.

Anyone watch the Rocky/Creed movies? It’s like that. You can’t just scare off the animal, you have to make its corner throw in the towel.  

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32 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

We need to take about the elephant in the room: The Eagle. What constitutes taking the eagle? Do you need to knock it to the ground? Outright kill it? Or is just defending yourself and swatting it away enough to count?

These are the pressing questions we need answers for.

The eagle seems more terrifying than it actually is. Will it hurt you when it swoops down and claws? Yes. 
 

But then you have it on the ground and are stomping it. 

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I think we've finally found the mole stealing our sports hot takes and it's @Fez. Way to go Mina, you thought you could throw us off by posing as a Jewish guy from the East coast.

 

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31 minutes ago, Mlle. Zabzie said:

No.  Impedes running away.  Balance is off.  Unless they are stripper heels with reinforced shanks, you probably can’t put enough pressure to get good leverage.  On balance, pun intended, I want my docs.

Did you not click the link? I dare you to say that to Michelle Rodriguez's face.

14 minutes ago, A True Kaniggit said:

The eagle seems more terrifying than it actually is. Will it hurt you when it swoops down and claws? Yes. 
 

But then you have it on the ground and are stomping it. 

May be kind of hard to grab the thing when it's clawing the shit out of your face. Plus the kind of Eagle wasn't specified. Bald Eagles are actually just glorified vultures, but if it's a Harpy Eagle, you're fucked.

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On the International thread I linked to a video of a woman in a town outside of Rome getting surrounded by wild boar, evidently a mother and her piglets, and stealing her groceries.

Not this particular woman, but so many people are so stupid about animals.  Just yesterday in the park I watched some dumb guy doing his best to pet a squirrel.  He though the squirrel wanted to be petted, when the squirrel was sitting so still and watching his hand that way because it expected to be given something to eat as tourists do thousands of times a week.  It would not take well to being touched, and really, one does not want to be bitten by a squirrel for lots of reasons.

The squirrels in the park have gotten even more aggressive these days, because of the pandemic when there was no one feeding them.

Also, yesterday, both a pigeon and sparrow tried to steal my croissant out of my hand -- taking a hint from the seagulls who do that -- fly down and grab you food right out of your hand.  I also watched a Twit video today of a seagull who really knows what it's doing -- going into a store via auto doors, stealing a sandwich from the counter shelves and going out with it again.

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1 minute ago, Tywin et al. said:

May be kind of hard to grab the thing when it's clawing the shit out of your face. Plus the kind of Eagle wasn't specified. Bald Eagles are actually just glorified vultures, but if it's a Harpy Eagle, you're fucked.

It’s not clawing my face. It’s clawing the arm I blocked with. While I grab it with the other and slam it into the ground. 


YOU may be fucked. I just got a bloody arm. 

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I am a reasonably fit man in my thirties, with a couple years of martial arts experience.  If you had three clones of me, and they were all armed with baseball bats, they'd still lose to a lion or bear or gorilla and wouldn't even particularly bother an elephant.

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4 minutes ago, Maithanet said:

I am a reasonably fit man in my thirties, with a couple years of martial arts experience.  If you had three clones of me, and they were all armed with baseball bats, they'd still lose to a lion or bear or gorilla and wouldn't even particularly bother an elephant.

Negative to this. Three humans with bats vs one lion? While the lion is clawing the first human, the other two are bashing its head in. 
 

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16 minutes ago, Maithanet said:

I am a reasonably fit man in my thirties, with a couple years of martial arts experience.  If you had three clones of me, and they were all armed with baseball bats, they'd still lose to a lion or bear or gorilla and wouldn't even particularly bother an elephant.

Does grade school taekwondo count?

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