Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
mcbigski

It's a brand new dating thread

Recommended Posts

19 hours ago, Raja said:

:lol: - I would have thought you would have asked your son!

It's a little hard to describe, but urban dictionary have put it well, I think

I used to say it ironically, and now I just say it :uhoh:

Back to dating, The first one was fairly low key, a drink & a walk along the Thames ( very cliche), she's a professor in architecture so it was certainly...educational? I don't really think I felt like this is someone I fancy in that way. I'm undecided on a second date but leaning towards no.

Second one is power station girl that I'm texting - she seems very nice, a little bit older but that's not really a big deal. The real issue is that she lives in another city, but we will see.

And she's not sick of talking about architecture on dates?!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/10/2021 at 4:52 AM, Datepalm said:

It was construction worker bbq dinner and 5:30 AM sunrise-over-the-lake fresh coffee. Place is apparently a private home - either ex-hotel, future hotel, or just weirdly set up like a hotel (separate suites with private entrances, identical hotelish decor, pool, outdoors bar...::dunno::) Its really pretty quite remote, and I can them see going a bit crazy after a year there. Casually pleasant time was had by all. Only curious bit was an insistence on separate sleeping arrangements, post-sex. I mean, sure, there are enough rooms, but still. Apparently sleeping issues (including meds). I don't mind (actually, lets be honest - sex followed by watching tv in a huge hotel room bed alone was sort of my ideal day off) but still felt a bit impersonal, though greeting me at dawn with the coffee was a significant redemption. Coffee >> cuddles for me, apparently.

Haha, my boyfriend did that the first night we had sex! We had actually slept together previously, sans sex (neither of us had condoms to hand), but then that night after procuring said condoms, after we had sex and cuddled a bit he was like "can you leave?". I still give him shit about that lol.

In his defense, we were staying in dorm rooms at Cambridge that had twin-size beds and we're both over 6 feet and he doesn't sleep well and basically did not sleep at all the night we did stay together. But it was amusing to get the post-coitus boot!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, I think I'm out of the business for the time being. Vet girl has excused herself that she can't keep in touch due to some family issues, at least not on a regular basis. So much for my offer to meet up for real that I had brought up nearly two weeks ago.

To be honest I had some particularly stressful weeks now that the school year is ending and at the moment feel too exhausted all the time to deal with human interactions anyway, so I'm not too concerned about not receiving any responses anymore and have no motivation to get back to swiping.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
13 minutes ago, Toth said:

To be honest I had some particularly stressful weeks now that the school year is ending and at the moment feel too exhausted all the time to deal with human interactions anyway, so I'm not too concerned about not receiving any responses anymore and have no motivation to get back to swiping.

Seems like stressful time at the end of the school year is universal.

Looks like you kept at it longer than I am keeping my interest - I have only had this profile for about a week, and I don't feel like swiping at any time at all. :dunno: I did get some matches though.

I also keep seeing profiles from no less than three neighbouring countries (my country borders on four countries), so this proves once again how tiny this place is and that there is probably not much activity on the app. Oh, and it showed me one profile from Athens for some reason, Athens being half a continent away.

The funniest thing I saw was a description somebody wrote: "If you don't have all the holy sacraments, swipe left." Well, thanks for telling me that ... but I don't really appreciate being told what to do by you. :P

Edited by Buckwheat

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 minutes ago, Buckwheat said:

Looks like you kept at it longer than I am keeping my interest - I have only had this profile for about a week, and I don't feel like swiping at any time at all. :dunno: I did get some matches though.

Well, you have seen how badly this experience had been for my self-esteem in the first few months without matches. Swiping is a bad thing altogether, especially when you are someone who never gets liked back and always have to wait for someone to somehow find your profile and have low enough expectations. So I suppose it is much more healthy to loose interest after realizing that there are at least a few people out there bored enough to keep up with me, though to be honest my interactions with the Egyptian girl did end up vexing me because I can't help but feel like I was dropped like a hot potato the exact moment I admitted to being introverted when trying to relate to her struggles with the people here. Going through our conversation that's the moment where her messages became significantly colder and dismissive, her answers briefer and her questions somewhat accusatory.

I... I suppose I can't really deal with how judgemental interactions on these platforms are designed to be. A tightrope walk where one wrong word can get you dropped, if your photos weren't enough already to be dismissed as garbage.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/11/2021 at 7:00 AM, Datepalm said:

And she's not sick of talking about architecture on dates?!

To be fair, I was curious given that I know very little about architecture.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Buckwheat said:

The funniest thing I saw was a description somebody wrote: "If you don't have all the holy sacraments, swipe left." Well, thanks for telling me that ... but I don't really appreciate being told what to do by you. :P

So he's looking for married priests that have been deathly ill?  Pretty narrow niche.

21 hours ago, Starkess said:

In his defense, we were staying in dorm rooms at Cambridge that had twin-size beds and we're both over 6 feet and he doesn't sleep well and basically did not sleep at all the night we did stay together. 

Since you placed the size description cutoff only at over 6 feet, is the buried lede here that Starkess is dating a short guy? (Relatively speaking..)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
48 minutes ago, mcbigski said:

So he's looking for married priests that have been deathly ill?  Pretty narrow niche.

:lol: I don't think it is necessary to take this all so literally. I am pretty sure he meant having received baptism, first communion, and confirmation.

Another profile that weirded me out and puzzled me was a guy who has a photo of him and a woman kissing wearing only swimming shorts/bikini. I mean, why would you post that on your dating profile is completely beyond me.

Human beings are weird. :dunno:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
40 minutes ago, Buckwheat said:

Another profile that weirded me out and puzzled me was a guy who has a photo of him and a woman kissing wearing only swimming shorts/bikini. I mean, why would you post that on your dating profile is completely beyond me.

One of the profiles sitting on top of my stack for the last few weeks has her instagram embedded and all her last photos are sitting at a beach cuddling with some shirtless razor ad model. I... think that means she already had success?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/11/2021 at 10:22 AM, Starkess said:

Haha, my boyfriend did that the first night we had sex! We had actually slept together previously, sans sex (neither of us had condoms to hand), but then that night after procuring said condoms, after we had sex and cuddled a bit he was like "can you leave?". I still give him shit about that lol.

In his defense, we were staying in dorm rooms at Cambridge that had twin-size beds and we're both over 6 feet and he doesn't sleep well and basically did not sleep at all the night we did stay together. But it was amusing to get the post-coitus boot!

I can relate to him, other than the >6' tall part. In general, sleeping (not sex) with someone in a bed any smaller than a queen is awful, and even with a queen size I still find it uncomfortable. 

Honestly I've probably had a lot of potential relationships ended early because I simply didn't want to sleep over at a girl/woman's place because they had a tiny ass bed. Having sex and then leaving only makes it worse, lol. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A person who tries to start the conversation by just inviting one to go somewhere together doesn't really need to be answered, right? I think it shows a lack of judgement about personal safety.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Buckwheat said:

A person who tries to start the conversation by just inviting one to go somewhere together doesn't really need to be answered, right? I think it shows a lack of judgement about personal safety.

Uh, totally depends on your idea of personal safety; and, also may be just a conversation starter.

But, yes, do not feel like you need to respond to such a message.

Edited by Chataya de Fleury

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bleh. I have had this profile for about a week and I am already bored and annoyed with it. I was cynical about the whole app thing before, I think I am even more now. <_<

I keep getting shown profiles from other countries.

I don't like almost any profile I see. After seeing some of them, they just end up looking all the same.

Not liking them makes me feel guilty because I am being judgemental, and I know it is bad to judge people solely according to their looks on a bad photo. I don't like people to judge me solely by their first visual impression of me, so why am I doing that to others?

The first few people I swiped right were instant matches, the last few aren't, which immediately hurts my self-esteem.

Two conversations don't seem to go anywhere beyond smalltalk. The guy who actually started a meaningful conversation hasn't responded to my last message. :dunno: (And the "invite you out" opening message person is not going to be answered.)

Swiping is boring and annoying at the same time, and makes me only feel lonelier than I already am.

So yeah, after the first few profiles I saw, the novelty wore off and I don't really think I am going to keep trying to work with this much longer.

Sorry for the rant, I suppose.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, Buckwheat said:

A person who tries to start the conversation by just inviting one to go somewhere together doesn't really need to be answered, right? I think it shows a lack of judgement about personal safety.

And I wondered what happened to the wanna shag? messages I randomly sent out to other boarders. I am heartbroken, Ty. Do you hear me. :bawl:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/12/2021 at 8:25 AM, mcbigski said:

Since you placed the size description cutoff only at over 6 feet, is the buried lede here that Starkess is dating a short guy? (Relatively speaking..)

:lol: He's about 6'2", so no/yes?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/13/2021 at 3:57 PM, A Horse Named Stranger said:

And I wondered what happened to the wanna shag? messages I randomly sent out to other boarders. I am heartbroken, Ty. Do you hear me. :bawl:

I have my concerns about you:

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So, so many bathroom selfies. Do people seriously not realise that a bathroom selfie is just ... IDK, not the best thing you can post on there? Or do people actually fall for them?

Am also having the first conversation that goes beyond some "hi, how are you" smalltalk. (Okay, no, it is actually the second one. The first one stopped responding after a few messages.)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, Buckwheat said:

So, so many bathroom selfies. Do people seriously not realise that a bathroom selfie is just ... IDK, not the best thing you can post on there? Or do people actually fall for them?

I'm fairly sure that's because men tend to not have any photos of themselves around whatsoever because it isn't exactly socially acceptable for a guy to say "Hey, I look great right now, would you mind taking a picture of me?". So a quick walk into the bathroom and making a photo of yourself in the mirror is the easiest way to get one. Same reason for the fish pics because that's a situation where a photo of you is being made. If the person in question didn't make the selfie without clothes I wouldn't be as judgemental myself, though I admit that I at least went outside and made selfies at a river or in front of historical buildings for my profile, mostly because the lighting is better. However during my research I still found scathing comments saying that selfies are always a red flag because it shows you don't have friends.

14 hours ago, Buckwheat said:

Am also having the first conversation that goes beyond some "hi, how are you" smalltalk. (Okay, no, it is actually the second one. The first one stopped responding after a few messages.)

Surely doesn't sound quite as much like giving up like your previous post make it sound like.^^ Well, I wish much success with the new matches!

Well, in my case I also yesterday started swiping again in a moment of loneliness, but given that someone I swiped right on never swiped back before, it is only a tool to get shown around more. I wonder how long I have to wait this time, but I'm also thinking I need to make new photos because the winter ones don't seem quite right with 37° outside...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
41 minutes ago, Toth said:

I'm fairly sure that's because men tend to not have any photos of themselves around whatsoever because it isn't exactly socially acceptable for a guy to say "Hey, I look great right now, would you mind taking a picture of me?". So a quick walk into the bathroom and making a photo of yourself in the mirror is the easiest way to get one. Same reason for the fish pics because that's a situation where a photo of you is being made. If the person in question didn't make the selfie without clothes I wouldn't be as judgemental myself, though I admit that I at least went outside and made selfies at a river or in front of historical buildings for my profile, mostly because the lighting is better. However during my research I still found scathing comments saying that selfies are always a red flag because it shows you don't have friends.

I don't have many photos of myself either, those I have are mostly from holidays or special events. I still avoid making selfies and just used slightly older pictures on my profile - it is not like I changed that much in the last year or so (I don't have any photos from the covid time, it is not like I went anywhere to want to make it memorable ...).

I don't even consider the "this person doesn't have friends" angle, I just think selfies in general are silly. :dunno: I suppose in front of historic sights is still better than in the bathroom mirror.

41 minutes ago, Toth said:

Surely doesn't sound quite as much like giving up like your previous post make it sound like.^^ Well, I wish much success with the new matches!

Thank you. And same to you!

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...