Jump to content

It's a brand new dating thread


mcbigski

Recommended Posts

Ah, here's the thread.

The Kiwi's eccentricity was attractive and annoying in fairly equal measure after 2-3 dates. Fortunately (I guess?) he then left the country very abruptly, resolving the situation.

Meanwhile, there's a bumble-match engineer who is only in town for weekends, and we still haven't managed to meet. I'll give it a shot next weekend.

Otherwise, there are precisely zero (0) bumble folks, much less matches, within a 50 mile radius.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There are some people out there who are really looking for a passport ( to be kind) and may want to rush you. Not having actual interests in common is a problem. Sometimes the lack of response is not your fault at all. When the plague is over, it will be different.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, HoodedCrow said:

There are some people out there who are really looking for a passport ( to be kind) and may want to rush you. Not having actual interests in common is a problem. Sometimes the lack of response is not your fault at all. When the plague is over, it will be different.

Is that a response to my post?

I should note that she went on a prolonged rant about how cold Germans are and that she wants to leave as fast as possible...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The rant sounds v. tactless, but it does remind me of me a bit. Not that I went on dating sites and ranted at people about the coldness of their native land. But it can be very isolating being a linguistic/cultural outsider without Vitamin B. You do often just tend to see the superficial, often slightly rubbish bits of a country. It can feel like living in a motorway service station for months on end while everyone else seems to be driving past in Mercedes Benzes to get to the opera.

I imagine that being a PhD student studying abroad could be an additional source of stress, especially if she doesn't have much rapport with her supervisor. And she may have a well-off, maybe high-achieving background, and that can also be a shock to the system. I knew someone from China who had moved to Germany to live with her German husband. She said she found it really difficult, because in China she'd been a successful professional/confident/independent etc. And in Germany it felt like going back to being a child again. 

I chose to work in Germany because I was interested in what I'd heard about the society, and had admired its refusal to go to war in Iraq for years, but even being a relative Germanophile I had days when rants similar to your Egyptian student's were playing in my head on repeat. I knew they were coming from a place of loneliness/financial and personal insecurity, but that didn't always help turn them off.

Sorry for the slightly discursive comment. Reading your post suddenly brought a lot of memories back. 

Anyway, it's great that you're keeping going with the online dating chats. Proactivity FTW even if it's sometimes a complete headache. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Turns out my bumble contacts are clearing up. This morning I saw that the foreign student deleted her account and the Egyptian research assistant unmatched me. I suppose that I should be thankful that it's not just ghosting.^^

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Haha, i had it for a week or so around the new year. I installed it again last friday, feel more ready this time around, will see how it all works out. 

Eta: would love to see the other side of the app, put next to each other, my likes look very similar, would be fun to see if other side is a lot of dudes doing the same pose, talking about how they love to travel (so i can copy it, of course :D)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Speaking of tinder, one negative of living in a small town is that it took me about five days of occasional swiping to exhaust the people library. Ive sent about 50-60 likes and some 500+ dislikes, so i guess that in a week or two all my likes will have seen me and swiped on way or the other and then the app will have done all it can for me. Ive got five matches so far and i guess ill end up around 10 in the end. Now i just got to figuren out what i want to do about it :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 6/4/2021 at 2:35 AM, Chataya de Fleury said:

RIGHT???!!

And also, do you know that it’s super difficult, demographically, to date my age? Because NO ONE is 46 and single. Because so few people are 46 to begin with.

 

I dated a few people in their mid 40s in my late 20s and early 30s. I had a great time. But none of us thought any of the relationships where going anywhere and we all got what we wanted out of it. 

For someone who isn't looking, its an interesting question about where I would set my parameters if I was. 

Going out with younger people always has been the norm (when looking at long term) but probably has less and less relevance as i get older.  So I guess if I was pushed to pick a 5 year block it would be 36-41. My wife is 36 and that always seemed the very lowest i could go (I'm 45).

Pathetically I couldn't imagine going out with someone who was 50 even though I know a great many 50 year olds are better looking, in better shape and more of a catch than I am.  

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, BigFatCoward said:

I dated a few people in their mid 40s in my late 20s and early 30s. I had a great time. But none of us thought any of the relationships where going anywhere and we all got what we wanted out of it.

Yeah, I'm in my late 20s right now and this is basically me at this point. Especially as I move too often for it to be something serious. I *should* be in the UK now for the long term so maybe that changes, who knows, but doing shift work, including nights & weekends isn't ideal!

Though now that I think about it, I don't think I have dated anyone younger than me in a very long time. Not that I consciously do that but it just sort of happens!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 6/3/2021 at 9:35 PM, Chataya de Fleury said:

Because NO ONE is 46 and single. Because so few people are 46 to begin with.

It's true, we single guys die at 45 and resurrected by 48.  Only recently have I returned to the living.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

But, by the time YOU are 46, your demographic will be, too. And (I’m going to assume you’re 35, for the sake of discussion) then there will be plenty of 46 year old millennials and I’ll be bitching about how there are no 56 - 60 year old men.

Oh, soft ye now, the sands of time!

Yeah, close enough, I'm 38.  Maybe easier to just juke the Tinder bio to be a young-mid GenXer asap and reap the benefits right now lol.

eta: although honestly, even living in a rural community all of a sudden with the vaccines I'm suffering from choice fatigue dating wise right now.  There are lots of cool interesting people around here who are available all of a sudden!  l'm assuming that will revert back to the norm soon so I guess strike while the iron is hot?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 You are in Georgia, no? Too dull? Scuba diving is cool, but you would have to go on a trip. If your vaxxed, a cruise might be good, but think about what the cruise ship demographic is. Take a class of something you like in Europe, unleash your charm:) Do something like Tony Robinson and say how much you like being warm and fuzzy.  Anyway, that’s how I would have done it at your tender age.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...