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Exercise & Fitness: it’s a marathon, not a sprint


Iskaral Pust
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3 hours ago, Toth said:

I don't think so. Though I guess this experience now is proof that I might be more vain than I like to admit. Vain the way that I know I'm very ugly and weird looking, but would very much prefer to keep the only positive things I have about my looks and not permanently loose them for whatever reasons. For one my relatively clear skin, which unfortunately has gotten a bit marred by a couple pimple scars over the years and then my high metabolism that until now kept me very skinny no matter what I did. But apparently that has been failing me last winter when I all of a sudden developed a bit of a belly due to an abrupt stop of my exercises and high sugar intake.

See, this is just more of the same that leads me to think you should consider making an appointment. We're all vain to some degree, but the way you're describing yourself comes off as extreme and probably not representative of how you really look.

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19 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

See, this is just more of the same that leads me to think you should consider making an appointment. We're all vain to some degree, but the way you're describing yourself comes off as extreme and probably not representative of how you really look.

This isn't just me saying this, this is classmates of mine back in the days reacting shocked when they saw my parents, wondering why I look like I do while they look normal. That's girls telling me not to smile because it makes me look like Mr. Bean. And even my current batch of students reacting shocked when they saw me for the first time without mask, saying I look better with it.

Anyway, I'm keeping on with the current regimen + new exercises I looked up online. Quite sore at the hip and the belly right now, but I guess that means it's working.

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The thing is that your comments come off as if you let how others perceive your physical appearance have a significant impact on how you feel. My impression could be wrong, of course. It would be far from the first time that happened.

As far as girls telling you not to smile are concerned, you should tell them they can fuck right off. You don't smile or laugh or whatever for their benefit, it's your mood and your emotion and it's none of their business.

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1 hour ago, baxus said:

As far as girls telling you not to smile are concerned, you should tell them they can fuck right off. You don't smile or laugh or whatever for their benefit, it's your mood and your emotion and it's none of their business.

Okay, fair enough, they just pointed it out and laughed about it, it was my takeaway to avoid smiling from then on. Also that was more than a decade ago, so... I mean, this exchange in particular wasn't even with people who were hostile with me, so it was an honest assessment.

1 hour ago, baxus said:

The thing is that your comments come off as if you let how others perceive your physical appearance have a significant impact on how you feel. My impression could be wrong, of course. It would be far from the first time that happened.

... and my physical appearance has an impact on the perception of which I am getting a feedback for, so that line of thinking doesn't get me anywhere.

Also replaced situps with crunches now after I learned in addition to your suggestions that they explicitly train the muscles at the sides instead of the belly.

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Lots of swimming for me lately as I try to maximize the limited season, plus it feels amazing in the water during this hot period. But now we have a problem with our pool cover that will take at least a couple of days to get fixed.

I finally got back in the gym yesterday and today.  I was shocked how strong I felt at squats in only my second session in two months but I had no time to add extra sets.  Bench press and rowing went fine today but still lacking time to add anything extra.  Deadlifts tomorrow is the plan, time permitting.

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@Toth I remember you were struggling a year ago to establish a good exercise regime.  (Am I right that you’re a teacher and the summer is when you have time to focus on this?).

I think Baxus and Tywin gave good advice.  You seem like someone who would benefit a lot from a consistent exercise regime that would boost your self confidence and self image.  If you’re underweight and skinny-fat and trying to improve the perception of your physical appearance, then the good news is that there are many, many others in the same situation and there is a proven path to improve upon that: just take a look at one of the beginner’s weightlifting programs, usually involving a 5-6 days per week of weight training plus a diet with a calorie surplus and a high % of protein.    (I believe I’ve heard of Strong Lifts and 5x5 as specific programs, but there are several available for free on bodybuilding.com).  I think you’ll be amazed at how you carry yourself and see yourself once you start seeing improvements in your strength and physicality, plus the extra endorphins help too.

If, as you said above, you’re ready to start weightlifting, then make sure you approach it with a disciplined plan.  Avoid fuckarounditis (feel free to Google that).  Don’t waste your time and effort.  Definitely don’t be one of those guys doing arm curls in a squat rack who never add any muscle mass.  Prepare a program for yourself and be intentional in your workouts and you’ll see results in just a few months.  Consistency is really important though, and I realize that I have my own long struggle with consistency, so do as I say not as I do.

Best of luck.

If you need help sticking with consistency then come and post your progress here each week.  This is a group that’s very supportive.  Any progress is to be celebrated and built upon.  Any disappointments or hurdles are just part of the process: don’t get too down, just pick yourself back up and get back to it.

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5 hours ago, Iskaral Pust said:

 You seem like someone who would benefit a lot from a consistent exercise regime that would boost your self confidence and self image.  If you’re underweight and skinny-fat and trying to improve the perception of your physical appearance, then the good news is that there are many, many others in the same situation and there is a proven path to improve upon that: just take a look at one of the beginner’s weightlifting programs, usually involving a 5-6 days per week of weight training plus a diet with a calorie surplus and a high % of protein.

Ugh...

Well, to be honest, right now with my focus on diet and a mixture of cardio and muscle exercises I feel like I'm already getting results in the skinny-fat department. Even if that totally makes me a "fuckarounditis" victim. I've looked up weightlifting programs and a rant about fuckarounditis after reading your reply and... ugh... I'm sorry, it might sound ridiculous, but I really, really, really don't want to go to a gym and start weightlifting. I don't think my accumulated fear of getting judged and ridiculed and yelled at because that's all I connect with sports is going to take that. I just can't handle anyone looking at me. It's already bad enough when out jogging and I have to keep interrupting my training at home whenever my mother barges in.

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2 hours ago, Toth said:

 I just can't handle anyone looking at me. It's already bad enough when out jogging and I have to keep interrupting my training at home whenever my mother barges in.

I don't want to amatuer analyse you or drag anyone's mother, but from everything you have said on this board, you would be 99% happier if you moved out. Even if all you can afford is a tiny room in a crack den. 

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2 hours ago, Toth said:

I'm sorry, it might sound ridiculous, but I really, really, really don't want to go to a gym and start weightlifting. I don't think my accumulated fear of getting judged and ridiculed and yelled at because that's all I connect with sports is going to take that.

This might seem counterintuitive, but I'd say that's exactly why you should go to a gym. To make the matter even more outrageous, I'd suggest crossfit. Working out in a group has major benefits and I've never seen a group of people as supportive of their workout fellows as crossfiters. No one would yell at you, except to encourage you. There was a saying about crossfit that it's the sport where those who finish last get the loudest cheers. Obviously, you would need to do a pretty thorough research in order to find a good gym (or box or whatever) with good coaches in your area. After that, you'd have to listen to those coaches even (or especially) when you believe your can do more or lift heavier or run faster or whatever.

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He's trying to recruit you into a cult! Run away as fast as you can! :P

But in all seriousness group fitness isn't a bad idea as it allows you to blend into the crowd and overall people are not very judgmental these days at gyms. Everyone knows you have to start somewhere and people are more likely to offer help/advice than look down at you. This isn't the 80's.

Edited by Tywin et al.
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To echo Baxus and Tywin again, gyms are usually very supportive places, including for newbies.  They are not like getting picked last for a sports team at school.  Everyone in a gym was a beginner once and most of them are happy and slightly nostalgic to see someone taking their first steps. Just learn the basic etiquette first to use the common space in a courteous way.

I went to my first gym at university.  A new friend who was competing as a sprinter talked me into joining him as a training partner.  I remember that initial hesitation to enter a world where I would be the weakest know-nothing.  I felt it again when I joined my first commercial gym and was going there alone — and despite keeping to myself, wary of intruding in this space, all of the regulars were incredibly nice to me and initiated ongoing friendly conversations after a few weeks.  In my experience, most weightlifters are introverted, deeply attached to their exercise lifestyle, and walking a knife’s edge between self-improvement and insecurity with a spirit of camaraderie.  If you ever encounter macho posturing that feels like the original Cobra Kai, then just walk down the street to a different gym.  That kind of toxic attitude is pretty rare because beginners won’t pay to join that — remember, all gyms survive financially on monthly subscriptions by people who want to be there but don’t regularly make the effort to actually get there.

But even if you just want to do calisthenics at home — which is fine, albeit less effective — then at least plan an intentional program for yourself.  Fuckarounditis will not produce results.  Learn from the mistakes of many others before you.

Good luck.  Everyone feels better when they are exercising regularly.  Just read some of Theda’s posts in this thread.

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So even if I assume that gyms are indeed these mythical places where hypercompetitive masculine bullshittery doesn't take place (despite all my experiences with athletes and 'pumpers' being the absolute opposite, this "spirit of camaraderie" is always just hazing), I don't have the time anyway. In an ordinary work week I don't even get to jog, so how the hell am I supposed to make space for regular gym visits? It would be a waste of money for a commitment I am simply not able to stick to.

This is a hard no on that one. My current regimen shows results and I am happy with that.

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I'm honestly puzzled by this picture of a gym that you are painting. I've been to many, many gyms and while they varied in size, shape, and equipment, they were almost always stocked full of people just...working out and minding their own business. And no I don't want camaraderie, I just want to be left alone, and I think 99% of other weight-lifters are the same (unless you are intentionally choosing a gym that advertises that--like Crossfit). About the only time I interact with other people at the gym is to ask "are you done with this?" and even that is pretty rare.

In any case, if you don't want to go the gym, don't go. But some sort of program is likely to be beneficial to you unless you spend a lot of time becoming educated in exercise science. Which is a bit of a waste when so many people have already done that work. If you're really into calisthenics, I'd recommend checking out r/bodyweightfitness and their (very thorough) Recommended Routine.

Also...therapy. If you're this anxious about people looking at you, definitely therapy. (I say that with no malice--I myself have major depressive disorder and general anxiety disorder.)

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8 hours ago, Toth said:

So even if I assume that gyms are indeed these mythical places where hypercompetitive masculine bullshittery doesn't take place (despite all my experiences with athletes and 'pumpers' being the absolute opposite, this "spirit of camaraderie" is always just hazing), I don't have the time anyway. In an ordinary work week I don't even get to jog, so how the hell am I supposed to make space for regular gym visits? It would be a waste of money for a commitment I am simply not able to stick to.

I’m glad you’re seeing results with a self-created regimen - the important thing is to make that non-negotiable and that you always stick to your schedule - this is really hard to do on your own, but not impossible.  Even then, I think it’s going to be difficult to build any muscle without access to some equipment, but there are some good bodyweight routines out there, you just have to try to find something to work for you.

I’ll echo everyone else’s experience and say that your perception of gyms sound like they are solely based on 80s films and maybe a shitty experience with a musclehead before you became an adult.  Shop around.

Gyms give you access to equipment that will make working out more interesting and help you see better results (weights especially).  And the financial commitment keeps many showing up to use the service, instead of half-assing, not tracking progress/keeping to a plan, or quitting. 

 

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21 hours ago, Starkess said:

I'm honestly puzzled by this picture of a gym that you are painting. I've been to many, many gyms and while they varied in size, shape, and equipment, they were almost always stocked full of people just...working out and minding their own business. And no I don't want camaraderie, I just want to be left alone, and I think 99% of other weight-lifters are the same (unless you are intentionally choosing a gym that advertises that--like Crossfit). About the only time I interact with other people at the gym is to ask "are you done with this?" and even that is pretty rare.

Yeah, I’ll second this. I’m struggling to remember an occasion when someone has even spoken to me at the gym if they weren’t an employee or I didn’t already know them. :dunno:

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On 7/27/2022 at 11:34 AM, Toth said:

This is a hard no on that one. My current regimen shows results and I am happy with that.

I'm going to slightly disagree with the crowd here and say that's fine. Yes, you may have a more negative impression of the gym than is warranted, but if you can be consistent with home workouts you can make progress. I used to go to the gym a lot, got out of the habit for a few years and was out of shape. Started to go again right before covid hit and closed all the gyms down, was forced into home workouts.

As a result I got in much better shape over the past couple years with body weight exercise at home and walking. Posted a progress pic somewhere earlier in the thread, I've made some more progress since then. It's slow progress, but I'm generally happy with it. Haven't been to a gym since February 2020, and honestly I don't miss commuting or waiting for a rack/bench/machine to open up. I've recently started running again because I like running and I'm no longer worried about whether my knees can handle my own weight, but the exact form of cardio and strength training doesn't really matter. As long as long as you enjoy it, are consistent, and don't quit, home workouts can be great.

Edited by AverageGuy
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I’ve been following this thread for a bit now & I know some of you are active runners. Was wondering if any of you know a  solution to my new problem.

I’ve always been an active person, played high school volleyball, a bit in my first year in college, had a gym membership ever since I’ve got my first paycheck and with a few exceptions such as the pandemic time and a couple of years in my early thirties when I had some medical issues, I always go 3 times a week to work out, so I’m generally fit. Not athletic fit but still.

The issue is: I’ve been running for a couple of years now on a constant basis about 2-3 times a week anywhere between 2 to 12 miles (3 km to 19 km). I’d say the average run is 5-6 (8-9 km) miles a run and the pace is around 11:00. Before this summer started I used to run 2 times in gym on treadmill and one long run on paved bike trails in forest preserves. Never had any knee problems, except for the clicking (no pain, no inflammation) that annoyed me for years now and probably everyone who’s working out next to me when I’m doing squats. The doc always said I’m fine though. She even sent me to the radiology and the ultrasound last year to make sure all is well as I’m getting older.

However this summer I finally caved in to improve my speed and wanted to run by the end of September a 10 mile (16 km )run with a pace under 10:30 min/mile and that’s when the issues started. First off: the runs since June are now all on asphalt or paved trails. Second it’s one of those Hill repeats, Pace Goals, speed intervals training plan from Garmin Coach plans. So clearly I’m not used to the switches in paces. Suddenly my knees are thick and stiff and frankly the muscles too. Still no pain, but I assume it will eventually happen as this inflammation and thickness doesn’t seem to go away from the back of my knee and my calf muscles.

I do put ice after the runs since my knees are hot, I raise my feet, I do stretching, I did yoga before this happened for years and I still do now in the days between run days.

I said I’ll make a doc appointment I just didn’t have time this summer and thought to check out other sources who may speak from experience.

Is there a way to not give up the runs in order for my calf muscles and knees to go back to their normal size. It’s relaxing me and it’s something I enjoy. I’d hate to give it up even for a bit.

Edited by TormundsWoman
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Yeah, trying to change pace can definitely lead to some new aches and pains! Could be that you're sacrificing form as you're attempting to run faster or that you just haven't built up enough for that speed yet. My best suggestion is to think about form as you run and to maybe dial back the number of speed/hill workouts. Easy runs should be the bulk of your running IMO.

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8 hours ago, Starkess said:

Yeah, trying to change pace can definitely lead to some new aches and pains! Could be that you're sacrificing form as you're attempting to run faster or that you just haven't built up enough for that speed yet. My best suggestion is to think about form as you run and to maybe dial back the number of speed/hill workouts. Easy runs should be the bulk of your running IMO.

You are most likely right about the speed/hill workouts and me not being ready for the pace increase. All those runs are much harder than my regular ones and I’m breathing like I’m a freight train by the time I’m at cool down portion. Makes me sad to think I can’t run faster without this happening. I’ll probably end up like you say with easy runs and keeping form with slower speed. Also I’m going start to work on legs strength training more too. Maybe that will help. Appreciate your take. Thx.

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